15. Connections

fifteen

Connections

*ELDEN*

F lora’s advice sticks in my mind for the whole next week. She hasn’t pushed it. Maybe she thought I would get mad at her, but seeing how angry my father gets whenever someone has a different opinion, I’ve sworn to myself that I would never treat my mate and my future children that way. They are allowed to have an opinion and disagree with me, without me hitting or lashing out at them.

Flora is right. It sucks that my father has messed me up so much that I can’t make friends. Whoever approaches me for a talk or just for a project in school already looks suspicious to me. They are in for my rank, for my position, for my name, but not for me.

Why the fuck am I so messed up?

Everyone always keeps saying that Flora is the odd one, but that’s not true. I’m the weird one.

“Hey man,” Vincent pops up next to me and hands me a bottle of water. “So, did I make the cut for your sparring partner?”

By now we have sparred almost daily with each other, so he pretty much knows the answer already, but I still appreciate him for asking. Vincent is strong, has well-placed movements, and is also creative. Even Samuel approves of him.

“Well,” I say. “Seeing how the other contestants didn’t show up, I guess I am stuck with you.”

Vincent grins. “Coming from your mouth, I take that as a compliment.” He gazes at his watch. “Oh shoot, I need to head to work.”

“Another job?” I ask. Vincent amazes me; he has like a hundred jobs. He works as a guard for the pack, has his animator work for children’s birthdays, and sometimes jobs at a bar as a bouncer… with his fake identification card. I have no idea where he got that one from, but it helps him to get jobs despite being under twenty-one years old. We now know that he dropped out of school a while ago. Samuel thinks he should return to it, but we can’t force him.

“Yes, I sometimes help out in the nursery here,” he says. “I don’t know what it is, but those ankle-biters seem to like me.”

I stay quiet, lost in my thoughts, while he eyes me curiously.

“If I only knew what you are thinking,” he says. “It’s so hard to read you.”

“I don’t mean to insult you,” I say shortly.

“Just ask,” he pushes. “Like seriously, by now, you should know that I’m the most chilled dude ever.”

“How do you do it?” I ask. “After everything that happened to you. How are you happy and optimistic?”

Vincent looks at me for a while, and I’m scared I did indeed insult him or push it too far. I don’t mind normally if I cross certain boundaries. I have no problems with standing up for myself, but I really don’t want to hurt a genuinely nice guy like him. “I’m not always like that,” he admits after a while. “Like, sometimes, getting up is so hard.”

“Really?” I turn to look at him.

“Yeah, a fucking battle every day,” he says.

I don’t say anything; it just feels good to have someone here who understands what I feel. It’s hard to put into words otherwise. I’m still pondering over his words when I feel it again. It starts with a slight throbbing behind my temples, a sense of terror overflowing me the second I feel it, well aware of what’s going to happen. The throbbing spreads through my whole brain, slowly expanding, tugging at my nerves and pushing against my skull, before jolts of pain surge through me. I gasp in pain, curling over and grabbing my head.

“Elden?” Vincent blurts out, appalled.

“It’s my head,” I pant. “Sometimes… it just comes…”

It’s like something is pushing against my skull. I always thought the pain came from inside, but it doesn’t… it’s more like an outer force wanting to push into my head.

Vincent grabs my shoulder. “Okay, I’m going to get help!”

“No, just go,” I huff. “You have work.”

“I’m volunteering there,” he says. “I already linked them and told them that the future alpha needs my assistance. I am going to get help.”

“No! No one can help,” I blurt out. “Just stay here. It’s… my gift…”

I close my eyes, unable to bear to look at anything. Everything hurts my head: the sun, the rustling of the leaves, even my own breath. It’s so loud all around me. Regis, I breathe out, trying to reach out to my lycan, but I can barely grasp our bond.

It’s our stupid gift, he mutters, rubbing his head against the ground.

I stop focusing on him, as it just makes it worse. That’s when I feel something cold being pressed against my neck and forehead. It soothes the pain a bit. I can only breathe through it and wait till it passes. It has to pass. I knock with my knuckles against my skull, as if it will chase the pain away.

“Just breathe,” Vincent instructs me, his voice quiet and low. “Breathe through every wave of pain.”

The cold against my neck and his voice, make it easier to focus on him, instead of the pain that’s trying to split my skull apart. The minutes seem to drip by excruciatingly slowly while wave after wave of pain hits me. After what feels like forever the pain subsides, with only a dull feeling remaining. I take a deep breath. “It’s gone,” I mutter.

“Shit, dude,” Vincent says, looking at me in worry. “That lasted for forty minutes.”

“That long?” I ask, horrified. “It’s never lasted that long!”

“Will you listen if I told you to see the pack doctor?”

“No,” I say.

“Thought as much.” Vincent takes the bottle he has pressed against my neck and hands it to me. “You need to drink some more. Or even better… how about we grab something to eat?”

I nod. “Not a bad idea.”

“Here, or should we go to town?”

“Town,” I say. “I need to get my head away from here for a bit.”

I make sure to link Beta Oliver to have someone drive us. Fortunately, Oliver never asks many questions when I need something. It’s like we have a silent agreement with each other that he will have my back if needed and give me an out so that I won’t need to deal with my father. We never talked about it, we still don’t, but I know I can rely on him when I need something.

“This pack really doesn’t have a gamma?” Vincent asks when he sees how Oliver approaches us with a warrior.

“We had one, but he left when my mother died,” I say shortly. Mom dying and Tobias leaving are the two topics I never talk about, not even with Flora. There are so many bitter, sad feelings surrounding the incidents. Fortunately, Vincent gets the hint and doesn’t push further.

I haven’t heard from Tobias since he left, aside from the presents that he sends me, for each of my birthdays. But I don’t even know where he is. I asked Oliver once, but he was reluctant to answer, almost scared. Back then, I was mad and felt betrayed that he wouldn’t say anything, but now I understand it more. He was probably trying to keep Tobias’ whereabouts a secret so that he could live peacefully, especially since I don’t know what my father would do if he knew where to find him.

He let Tobias go when Mom died, but something tells me that he wouldn’t let the issue rest if he knew where Tobias lived.

Weird… why am I thinking about Tobias again, after so many years?

I try to shake the feeling off, not wishing to return to the darkest time of my life. Mom was suffering under her severe depression, and Tobias tried to get her the help she needed. He must have felt devastated when she died, and like he failed her as her gamma.

But it wasn’t Tobias’ fault. An image of my father pops up in my mind, a sudden surge of anger overcoming me. It was his!

Vincent and I go to a diner, where we order an assortment of sandwiches and fries. “Finally, someone who can keep up with me,” Vincent says when I grab the second tuna sandwich, still feeling hungry.

“We train a lot,” I say. “We need the energy.”

“That’s what I always say,” he grins. “Say, Elden, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“Elden…” He tilts his head. “That’s a weird ass name.”

I almost choke on my sandwich. “That’s what you want to talk about?”

“No, sorry, it just came to my mind when I said your name,” he admits. “I mean, it’s a cool name, mysterious, old, sophisticated-“

“But weird as fuck,” I say dryly.

Vincent grins. “Exactly.”

“If I ever have a son, I will make sure to give him a simple name,” I pause.

“Like James?” Vincent asks. “Oh, or William!”

“Yeah, or maybe Liam,” I muse. “Something everyone can pronounce and spell. No weird glances or stupid questions that he will have to deal with,” I pause again. “So, what did you want to ask?”

“The headache,” he starts. “It’s really from your gift?”

“I’m not trying to hide a mysterious illness, if that’s what you were thinking,” I say, amused. “So, yes, my lycan and I know it is my gift, but we can’t tell what kind of gift it will be.” I groan in frustration. “It always feels like it splits my head open.”

“Do you have these often?” he asks.

“It used to be only occasionally, but now it’s almost every other day,” I admit. “Like something is clawing at my mind. Just from the outside.”

“What?” Vincent blinks. “That sounds scary! Goddess, good thing I have a plain gift.”

“What’s your gift?” I ask.

“Intimidation,” he says. “And planning. Super lame, huh? The first is just weird, and would make me a social outcast if I used it. And the second is just boring.”

I stare at him in shock. “These are kickass strategic gifts, Vincent!”

“Do you really think so?” he asks.

“Yes, I’m not surprised you were a top warrior in your old pack, even at your age,” I say. “That’s some useful gifts in battle.”

“I’ve never seen it that way,” he says. “For my old man, only strength counted, so I trained a lot and kind of neglected everything else. Like school.”

“You didn’t finish school, right?”

“Why are you asking? You already know that…”

“Yes, but I wanted to hear it from you.”

Vincent sighs. “Pathetic, huh?” he mutters. “I’m a dropout.”

“You don’t sound pathetic,” I say. “Just honest.”

“The thing is, I could have done it,” he admits. “I’m not stupid, just lazy.”

“And you never got the support, did you?” I ask.

“Not really. I love my parents; they were awesome, but they never really pushed me or motivated me to study. All that mattered for them, was for me to learn how to fight and get a high rank within the warriors.”

“What’s stopping you now?” I ask.

“What? Going back to school?” he laughs, as if I made the funniest joke ever. When I keep staring at him, he stops laughing. “You’re serious…”

“Yes, if it’s bothering you, then what’s stopping you from changing the situation?” I ask. “It’s in your power now.”

“You are weird,” Vincent mutters. “What kind of seventeen-year-old is so serious like you are?”

“I have always been like that,” I say.

“So, were your parents the opposite of mine?” he wants to know.

“I guess so,” I say. “I was on my own from pretty early on. My mom was a kind woman, but she died early, and even before that she wasn’t able to look after me or support me much, and my father… well… you know the rumors. Most of them are probably true.”

“And the Council members are truly here for your education?” he asks curiously.

“Partly, yes, they are here to make sure I’m prepared to take over the pack as soon as Flora and I are eighteen,” I say. “After my mom died, my dad went off to travel, so they stepped in to make sure the pack was still running. Technically, he is still the alpha, but truth is they made him the interim leader until I’m old enough. I’m sure you heard that already.”

“I did,” he admits. “I just didn’t know it was true,” he pauses. “They love you, dude.”

“Who?”

“The pack,” he says. “They don’t seem to like your father much, but always talk highly of you and your mate.”

“It’s due to the prophecy,” I say. “They are drawn to the power it suggests I’d have.”

“And you are the Crown Prince,” he adds.

“That too.”

“Sucks,” Vincent mutters. “So much responsibility early on. And I bet everyone wanted to have a piece of your success.”

“That’s what I think, at least, but I don’t know it’s true,” I admit. “I only ever befriended Flora and Jace. Everyone else I kept at arm’s length.”

“But you are talking to me,” Vincent grins. “So, either you have the hots for me, or I’m just so great.”

“Yeah,” I nod earnestly. “I’m totally into you.”

He laughs. “It’s my tattoos, am I right? And my awesome styling.”

“That and your hippie hairstyle,” I say.

“What’s wrong with my hair?” he asks.

I gaze at his wild, long hair and raise my brows. “The question is: what’s NOT wrong with it?”

“I just have a very well-nourished wild side to me,” he says. “I bet you have that, too.”

“I’m trying not to,” I say. “My lycan is very dominant already. I have enough work with keeping him in check. I don’t need my very own wild side on top of that.”

“What about your mate?” he asks. “Flora seems to be…” he tilts his head thoughtfully. “How should I put it? She looks so innocent and sweet, but there is a certain strength about her.”

I’m shocked he noticed. Most people easily fall for Flora’s innocent, youthful looks and the way she smiles at everyone. In reality, she is incredibly smart and cunning; they just don’t know. She weaponized it perfectly. She’s truly amazing.

“She is fantastic,” I say, my heart warming at the thought of my mate. “I got really lucky to have her as my mate. Which is why I am trying hard to be the best mate possible, and the best boyfriend and future alpha.”

“Man,” Vincent says. “That sounds exhausting. And something tells me that your little mate wouldn’t mind you being yourself. Actually, I bet she can easily look through you when you aren’t.”

“That might be true,” I admit.

Vincent and I order a second round of fries and some milkshakes, ignoring the shocked gazes of the waitress at the amount of food we’ve eaten. Somehow, it’s easy to be with Vincent. I never had someone like him around me. Jace and Flora are my friends from childhood; I trust them with my life, but with Vincent it’s different. I can share things with him, despite not knowing him well. I don’t talk much usually, and this is the first time, ever, that I’ve sat with someone and had a deep talk about my feelings.

He is not scared, either. Usually, when someone spots Regis for the first time, they are terrified, or when they hear the prophecy, they put me on a pedestal and look up to me but wouldn’t dare to openly approach me.

Vincent just treats me like any guy.

It’s almost like fate put him in my way.

“Be my beta,” I hear myself say.

Vincent stops eating, staring at me. “What?” he asks, his expression almost comical as he tries to grasp what I’ve said.

I see it so clearly, though. Just like I knew Flora was my mate, I know he is supposed to be my beta. I’ve just known him for a couple of days, yet I know he is the friend I need at my side to help me lead this pack.

“You feel a connection too, don’t you?” I ask. “I want you to become my beta.”