Chapter 28

T he Empress of Earth had suggested to Breighly that she could portal her back to the Ashdale Forest, but she had politely declined. Sybil was kind to offer, but she fucking hated portals, and she was already dreading using one tomorrow to get to the Crismon Dock at dawn. She didn't want to puke up her guts in front of everyone in the clan. Breighly had no idea how she could drink a tavern dry and never hurl up her guts, but the minute she stepped through a portal, the Gods decided to give her a jittery stomach.

Her belly churned at the thought of it. The lights. The spinning sensation. The feeling like your lungs were collapsing in your chest and that stars were burning through your body.

She shuddered.

Taking the time to run from the Tower to the Ashdale Forest had been a blessing in disguise. The moon was almost in her fullest phase, and its beams shimmered on her fur as the cool night breeze stroked its soothing fingers through her coat. She was warm in wolf form, and it didn't help that she didn't know how to approach her next conversation.

Apart from Roman, she hadn't seen her family since the prime meeting, and she knew that leaving her pack behind to guard an empress would have all sorts of unknown consequences. Still, she hoped her pack would be willing to join the mission for the Gods' Stones.

Shifting fully, Breighly ran up the cottage steps in human form, landing on the front porch. She reached the straw basket that always held extra clothing and found a flannel shirt and a loose pair of bottoms. They were old clothes her brothers no longer wore, so they were huge on her frame, but she hardly cared about what she looked like right now.

Opening the door to her cottage, she could hear her brothers and father in the living room. Their loud voices always tried to compete with each other in the humble room. The living room had been the same since Breighly was little. Comfy sofas cornered all areas of the room, and a large dining table crowded the front of the room. A fire always burned bright against the furthest wall, no matter the weather. Paintings of moon phases rested on the wood-panelled walls, and a warm rug took centre stage in the middle of the room. She had lain on that rug many times with whatever brother was her favourite that day. But the best times were when her father had joined her, telling her stories in front of the fire about a fierce princess wolf who lived in a faraway land and feared nothing.

But those eras were gone now, buried by time, grief, and unresolved trauma. So much had happened since those innocent moments.

As she rounded the corner, Breighly noted Waylen's large body spread along the biggest sofa and her father playing cards with Roman at the dining table. They all still managed to have whiskey in their hands. She smiled quickly. Eli would have been playing cards too if he were still here, probably sitting at the table opposite Roman. She wondered if the miserable look on Waylen's face was because he had been put out of the game first.

An overwhelming wave rocked through her body, unsettling her nerves. No wonder she didn't like to come back here. Everywhere she looked, she could see a memory of someone who no longer existed.

"Princess." Murk's dark eyes lit up like they always did when he saw her. He placed his cards down on the table and stood instantly.

"Bry," Waylen announced, sitting up from his relaxed position, his eyes wide with surprise.

"Well, if it isn't the Empresses of Air's favourite guard." Roman winked her way as he sat his whiskey on the table.

"Hi, Papa." She flashed her father a smile, who looked grateful to see her safely back in this house. "Shit heads." Her chin lifted to each of her brothers.

They both flashed her a toothy grin, and in that moment, she could see why too many people commented on how alike they all were.

"What brings you back here?" her father asked, shock lingering in the air. "Are you coming back home?" Hope sprang into his deep voice, and it gutted her.

Breighly's throat threatened to close as she looked at him, but she was relieved when Roman gave a dramatic sigh.

"Fuck," her twin cursed as he eyed his father's deck lying flush on the table. "Not again. How can you beat me every time?"

Murk pulled his hand across the coins lying on the solid oak table, a wise glint in his eye. "You can't beat the alpha." He smiled at Breighly. "Isn't that right, Princess?" He flicked her a coin, and she caught it with lightning speed. She tucked the gold coin into her pocket.

"That's right!" She grinned back at one of her favourite people in the whole world.

"Are you going to answer your alpha?" Waylen stood, resting his drink in the crevasse of his folded arms. "What are you doing back here? Don't you have a rather official role to be doing now?"

"I am here on official business, actually," she said, ignoring the burning in her cheeks.

"Oh, official business for the hunters?" Waylen probed again.

"Official business for my empress," she snapped back.

"God, that sounds awful. What, are you just her little bitch now?"

"Shut your mouth, Waylen." She eyed him. Breighly had hoped she would be inside more than a few seconds before his whining began. "You are the one that sounds like a little bitch."

A laugh burst from Roman, and a growl rumbled from Waylen's chest.

"I am back here on behalf of Emara," she announced. "Not for you to question anything about my role."

"So official. " Waylen's hazel gaze narrowed on her face, and she imagined smashing the glass he was holding in his stupid, smirking face.

"Enough," Murk said calmly. "Your sister is right. We don't need to question why she is here, but welcome her with open arms. You are starting to sound like a wife of the elite with your jealous mouth." Her father's dark gaze fell on Waylen, earning a scowl in return, then he turned back to her. "If you have something of importance to say, I want to hear it."

Breighly took a small breath and hoped that none of them noticed her falter. She really hoped this would go the way she wanted it to. "Father, the Blacksteel Clan believes that they know where to search for the Protection Stone. If they find it, it will mean they would be the first clan in history to have two of the Gods' Stones at once. It would put them in an extremely powerful position."

Murk's brow pulled down into a scowl, but she couldn't tell if he wanted to dismiss her or if she had piqued his interest. He always was a hard man to read. He could go from calm to terrifying in seconds. But never with her.

"And what trouble has Torin Blacksteel found himself in this time?" Waylen questioned with a laugh as his father mulled over the possibilities. "How has he, of all people, found a second stone?"

She shot him a warning glare. "Torin didn't figure it out; it was actually Kellen."

Murk's eyebrows rose again, a shimmer of concern in his eyes. "How? How did this happen?"

The alpha's tone was commanding in its own way, and his authority made the words in her mouth want to work their way out.

Breighly gave her alpha all the information that Torin had asked her to pass on, from their strategy to their reasons behind their new embarkment. And she couldn't leave out the fact that the information had come from Kellen's dreams. The Blacksteels trusted the pack with their secret.

"A seer? Kellen Blacksteel is a seer? " Roman let out a low whistle and ran a hand over the back of his neck. "I did not for the life of Vanadey see that one coming."

"Fuck, Viktir won't like that." Waylen took a sip of his whiskey.

"No, he won't," Murk agreed.

"Well, it's a good thing that Viktir has no authority in the clan anymore," Breighly reminded them. "He's the only Blacksteel who won't be joining the mission. He is in the Tower cells until Torin decides otherwise."

Murk let out a slow sigh as he moved to acquire another drink.

"And Torin wants our help?" Waylen asked as the flames of the roaring fire flickered up his cheeks, making him look flinty and menacing. "He wants to put the Baxgroll pack at risk and help to find this stone? Doesn't he have enough clan members to sacrifice? If the Dark Army knows of the stone's whereabouts, this is ludicrous. Madness."

Breighly didn't like the tone of her brother's questions. "He isn't asking for your help. The Commander of the Blacksteel Hunting Clan," she reminded him, "is giving you the information so that you can decide as a pack what you want to do. If you are in or out. It's a Gods' relic, Waylen. Do you want Veles' disciples to obtain it first?"

"So that you can decide as a pack ? Why did you say that like you are not a member of said pack?"

Breighly ground her back teeth together and ignored him. For once in her life, she needed to take the higher ground. "I have come here on behalf of the Empress of Air to ask you if you would like to join us on the mission. As her guard, I will be joining them, and she knows how powerful we are as a pack." She looked at her father and then Roman. "If the pack does not want to be involved in securing another of the Gods' Stones, then that is fine. But I would highly recommend that the wolves come with us. There is strength in numbers."

"Oh, you would highly recommend that the wolves come with you?" Waylen took a few steps forward. Being the beta of the pack, he was the mouth until the alpha spoke. "Do you think because you are a guard to the Empress of Air that you are allowed to forget about your pack and saunter into our home spouting off about hunter and witch business like you are one of them? You haven't so much as looked at your pack since the summit and now you want us on board? You want our help for your crazy missions?"

Her jaw almost locked in anger, but she looked over to her father, who looked contemplative. "I do not demand anything of the pack or anyone. I am only asking if you would want to be a part of history."

"A part of history," Waylen sniffed. "You should hear yourself, Bry. You have been staying in the Tower two fucking minutes and you already have a god complex. You should really take a look at yourself."

"Waylen," Murk growled, his eyes glowing a fiery gold.

She moved towards Waylen, ignoring her father. "Maybe you should ask yourself why the pack must be in each other's arseholes every two minutes to feel validated. I don't need that, so I don't need to take a look at myself. I can be my own person. You have made it extremely clear that I am a female in this pack and always love to remind me where my place is, princess or not." She shot a look at her father and then back to Waylen. "When I choose to run alone in the woods it is because I am tired of all your male bullshit suffocating me. Bullshit that I need to suffer alone."

"And what bullshit would that be, Bry? Is it because we expect you to attend our bullshit traditions?" Waylen said through his teeth. "Is it because under the Wolven Moon, you are supposed to mate at your age? Are you running away from that as well as your responsibilities within this pack?"

"I owe nothing to the mating moon, just as much as I owe nothing to you," she growled.

A glint in his eye told her that he knew he had hit a soft spot in her armour. "You know it reaches its peak in a few days and we honour Vanadey by running through her woods to celebrate the mating bond, and now you want to fuck off to a mission? You have been there every other mating moon and you have seen what it can do, how powerful it can be. So there is no doubt in my mind that you are just trying to avoid your heart by going off and gallivanting with the hunters to find a stone just to avoid your fate. It's pathetic."

Her fate.

A mate.

A wolf.

She lifted her eyes, catching his hazel gaze that burned in the firelight. "Maybe you should focus on your own mating bond this Wolven Moon since you clearly think it's so much more important than—oh, I don't know, saving the fucking kingdom from the Dark God. I do not see you standing in front of me with a mate, brother dearest. Oh no, wait, that's right. It's only women who are seen as charred goods if they don't marry before a certain age and have a litter of cubs." She could feel the anger spiking in her blood. She pointed a clawed finger at him. "But you fuckers with dicks think its fine if you mess around until you are full of fucking wrinkles. But no, not us. We are to submit to the mating moon. That is the bullshit I am talking about. It's one rule for you and another for me. Your traditions are misogynistic, and I am over them."

"Okay, Bry, you've quite clearly made your point." Her father glared at her, his chiselled face lined with hurt. "I don't need you to give me another lecture on how shit it is for women in society. I see it every day working with the prime." He moved closer to her, and he had a softness across his face. "You know how much I have tried to give you everything a little girl should have." He swallowed, and it was evident that he had a lump in his throat. "Ever since your mother left, I tried to work out how to raise you, and, by Vanadey, I had no clue what to do. How to make sure you had everything you could ever want. And I know that sometimes the pack isn't enough for you. And you are not a little girl anymore. I must let you choose your own life. But I still wanted you to be a proud wolf, Princess."

A lump fisted its way into Breighly's mouth. "I know, Papa. I know you did. And I am. But I just want to be able to help change the kingdom. This mission could really change everything."

His eyes flickered to the glass in his hand before he looked up. "Tell me, did I do something wrong that makes you want to be with the hunters? Is it because they are letting girls fight? I know I have made a lot of mistakes; it's just you are my only girl—"

She went to him then, and her hands found his wrists. "Gods, no. You did everything you were supposed to, Papa. You gave us everything." She heard her voice break a little, and her soul did the same. "I just feel…free when I get to choose. I would never reject the pack. They are my family, my blood. You all are my family, but I need to walk under my own moon sometimes. I just need to be me."

Murk nodded, something bubbling on his face that made Breighly feel a sting in her eyes. "Okay, Bry. Just always come back to us, promise me that."

"I promise," she whispered as she squeezed his hands. "Does that mean you are not coming?"

Murk hesitated.

"Father, it's the Wolven Moon."

"Leave it, Waylen," Roman finally waded in. "There will be other mating moons. Your ego is just hurt that Emara picked Bry over you to be her guard."

Breighly looked over to Waylen, who was shaking his head. His glare finally landed on her. "If you walk out that door, you are choosing the witches and hunters over your own pack's ancient traditions, no matter what moon you walk under. It's the supermoon, a fucking wolven supermoon. It's not like the witches are going to run with you when it's full in respect to your Light God. It's an honour to Vanadey."

She let go of her father's hands. "I know what moon it is, Waylen. I am not stupid. I just didn't realise we were all divided." Breighly shot him a violent look that she was rather proud of. "Do we not support all Light factions? Is it not everyone's goal to keep the Dark Army at bay?"

Waylen bared his teeth. "You know you can't be both a guard and a wolf. It doesn't work that way. Eventually, you will need to choose."

She turned away from her father, leaving him at her back. "I will be whatever I choose to be. If I want to run with the wolves, I will run with the wolves. If I want to hunt with the hunters, I will damned well carve out the hearts of the Dark Army. If I want to use my skills to guard an empress of our magic community, I will guard her with my life. And as a beta of the pack, you are not going to tell me otherwise. Stay in your place, Waylen."

His face screwed up horribly. "You know, you are just like her."

"Waylen," their father warned, "do not go there. You both need to let me think without wittering on."

Breighly froze, her skin crawling.

"She always left too." Waylen's chest heaved, and his clenched fists tightened the muscles in his forearm. It took her back to when he was angry as a child, the foul mood ruining entire days.

Breighly's hands began shaking at his declaration. She forced them steady. "I am nothing like her."

"You are exactly like her," Waylen spat. "She ran from the pack too, always searching for something more, something better than us. We weren't enough for her and we are not enough for you. I thought you would turn out different, but you must forget that you and Roman both sat on the porch for days waiting for her to come back. She couldn't care about traditions either, eh?"

Pain drove through Breighly's heart, punching her in the gut, slamming her into an oblivion of trauma.

Even though it hurt to hear them, Waylen's words were the truth. They hadn't been enough for their mother. They'd tried to be everything she could have wanted, but they couldn't make her enough flower bracelets, couldn't clean their rooms enough, couldn't give enough hugs or words to make her stay.

"Waylen, that's enough," Murk warned again, and Breighly couldn't ignore the upset in his voice. "I mean it."

Their mother had been his mate, his wife, and he had never met another since her.

Waylen pointed his finger at Breighly. "No. She needs to hear this, Father; you have protected your little princess enough. You let her do whatever the fuck she wants with no consequences, running around Huntswood like a fucking party girl and now fighting with the hunters like she doesn't have the blood of wolves in her heart. But she does, and so do you. And you are selfish, just like her. You do not deserve the pack."

"I am not like her." Anger, shame, and heartache broke through Breighly's body. "I am nothing like her."

"And when you scowl like that"—Waylen pointed at Breighly again, sharp and aggressive,—"you even look like her."

Breighly shook her head, feeling her legs tremble. "I look like her as much as you do. As much as Roman. As much as Eli. I am no more her than you are."

They all had her fair hair and skin. But only Breighly and Waylen had gotten the badness her traits offered; Roman was good through and through. And Eli…well, he was an angel. But Breighly and Waylen had that hardness that had only penetrated their souls deeper when their mother never returned. They had their father's kindness, but, by the Gods, when cornered, they were every part the brutal, selfish wolf their mother was.

"You have gone too far, Waylen," Murk growled in a calm, scary way that left everyone wondering what he would do next. "I think you better take a run to cool off and tire out that mouth of yours."

Waylen finished his whiskey in one swig and began to move towards the door. "Well, if there is one blessing that graced this family, it is that I am glad Eli isn't here to watch you turn into a woman that he resented so much. He would be ashamed to call you sister."

"Shit," Roman whispered under his breath. "You always need to go for the jugular. It's so uncalled for, brother."

Waylen only glanced at him before dragging his eyes back to Breighly.

For all Breighly knew, her heart had been gouged out, pulled through her spine, and was now lying on the floor.

Murk let out a roar. "You were told to leave it alone. Go for a run and don't come home until your poisoned tongue is clean of insults." He moved towards the beta intimidatingly.

A lump worked its way into her chest and up her throat as a sharp pain stabbed her heart. She looked at her papa. "I am not doing what she did. I am not rejecting my pack because I want to pave my own path. I am just—"

Waylen cut her off as he moved towards the door. "It's only a matter of time before you leave and don't come back. You have responsibilities here and you choose to ignore them. We even gave you La Luna to keep you tied to the pack, but you decided to play at being a warrior of Thorin. You gave up running with wolves to stab with steel, and you will probably end up fucking one of them and having one of their bastard children right before they marry their witching wife." Waylen's words wrapped around Breighly's throat and choked her. "In my eyes, Bry, you are a lost cause. Just like mother."

Murk dove for Waylen, and the two of them somehow ended up out the door before Breighly could even register it. The fire crackled, and there were a few hissing sounds, but nothing compared to the roar in her head. She steadied her legs, trying to stop herself from crumbing to the ground. When her eyes shifted to Roman, he opened his mouth to speak, but she couldn't hear another word of what anyone had to say.

She turned, running through the hallway to her bedroom and slamming the door shut. Her back fell against the wood of the door and her breathing hitched as she tried her best to hold in the crushing emotion swelling in her chest.

She heard footsteps travel the length of the hall, and they paused outside her room before going to the adjacent room next door, Roman's room. He knew she needed time alone. Taking shaky breaths, Breighly covered her mouth. She couldn't let her father or brothers hear her cry. She wouldn't dare. One single tear broke free and cascaded down her cheek as she swallowed every other feeling she had, forcing them down to the darkest parts of her soul until her lungs felt like they could burst.

She wiped the tear away quickly, destroying all evidence that it had ever been there in the first place. She'd gotten too good at hiding her emotions, crying in secret when her father came home with cuts and wounds. She could count all of the birthdays she'd spent in her room, muffling her cries for her mother who would never celebrate the occasion with them. Eli, watching her from the Otherside, was the only one who knew how many tears she had shed for him. She wiped away any trace of emotion because that was how she got through every day. She couldn't let anything in because if she did, she would feel everything.

She would feel every love she was never meant to have and every loss that had torn apart her family. So instead of feeling, she took a breath, counted to ten, and packed her satchel for the mission.

"It's only a matter of time before you leave and don't come back. Just like her."

Jumping from her window to avoid walking through the cottage, Breighly headed towards the rising sun. Hooking her satchel to her arm, she shifted and ran in wolf form to the Blacksteel Hunting Tower until her brother's words melted away.