Chapter 18

G ideon found Torin on the rooftop of the Tower, his inky black hair shining in the sunset, his face highlighted by the lowering sun. Torin was leaning against the railing, a glass in one hand and the other firmly around the barricade.

Gideon was surprised he was still in the Tower at all.

"Bourbon?" Gideon asked as he walked slowly towards him. "No rum? That's not like you."

He looked over his shoulder, and it was then that Gideon saw the raw torment of today's decision in his eyes. But he answered in true Torin fashion. "Finished the rum."

A laugh scraped against his throat as he held on to the railing and looked out to the city below. "I suppose that's more like you."

Torin let out a small huff and swallowed the remainder of his bourbon.

Gideon took a moment letting the silence settle between them. Growing up, it had always been the two of them fighting, playing, and arguing. Torin had always been there for him in his weird Torin ways. He had never let Gideon fear anything or anyone because he had always been at his side. Even when they were going head-to-head, he knew that his brother still loved him. And it was the same for Kellen even though he had come into their world a little later.

"I can't let you go down to the duel tomorrow without saying something." Gideon surprised himself with how much emotion had already swelled in his throat. Torin's eyes narrowed. "I am proud of you, big brother. I am proud of you for standing up for what you believe in, and I am in awe of you for finally admitting what is in your heart. You said today that Emara doesn't deserve a man like you, but that's exactly what she deserves. You."

Torin swivelled, his attention now on Gideon's face. "Gideon—"

"Hear me out," Gideon said as a gentle breeze coasted between them. "It took everything for you to stand up there today and do what you did, and I should have done the same a long time ago."

Torin swallowed and looked down at his glass, his huge hand surrounding it.

"But I didn't. I have watched Father take our happiness for a long time. Mother tried to protect us all from it, as did you." Gideon's tongue rolled into his cheek as he took an unsteady breath. "I remember it, Torin. I remember, even as a child, you would stand up for us all and he would beat you. He would beat you just for standing in front of us as his fists came down. Even when you were young, you stood as though you were eight feet tall, unafraid, and I have always admired that."

Torin turned away from him, his glittering sapphire eyes on the view.

"But you would always pay the price," Gideon choked out. "And tomorrow, I will be praying to the Gods that you win, because you are the kind of commander I want leading this clan. There is no one braver, and there is no one that I trust more. You will be a marvellous commander."

Torin stood up, his spine straightening. "I would rather die than let Emara down, and that is just how it is. I couldn't have gone on and lived my life the way it was headed—the pits, the taverns, the misery…And she reminded me why it was all worth it. She has saved me time and time again, although she will never truly know it. I need to fight for commandership. And if I don't win, then I will know at least that I have fought for something worthy and I can die an honourable death. I can die knowing that I tried to protect you and your honour too. You don't deserve to be pushed into my punishment and have your heart messed with too. I stood up there today to pledge my allegiance to House Air and its empress, but I have never not thought of you in that process. You are my brother, my blood. And I will not allow him to terrorise us any longer."

A few moments passed before Gideon said, "Seeing what I see now, I couldn't have gone through with the marriage. But I should have said something sooner. I should have fought harder."

Guilt ran through his body, causing him to shake again.

Torin lowered his head for a second, looking at the half-empty crystal bottle on the ground before pouring a splash of bourbon into his glass and passing it to him. "It's okay to do what your commander asks of you. That's what has been drilled into us since birth."

"Not if it's not right," Gideon replied. "Not if it ruins people's hearts. You have shown me that."

Torin gave a silent acknowledgement. "I suppose that's the fucked-up thing about being a hunter. You are expected to blindly follow someone with no questions asked."

Gideon let him work through his thoughts for a few moments as he took a sip of his drink.

"You heard what Emara said today," Torin said finally. "She doesn't want a treaty that tells her who she should marry. She doesn't want anything in place that tells her where her heart should lie." He turned to Gideon, and he nodded at his brother. "That's why I am fighting for my life tomorrow; I want to be able to give her that choice back. It's not so that she can marry me by the order of the original treaty. I will burn that piece of paper if I ever make it into his office. It is so that her heart can be free to choose who she wants, when she wants."

Torin's selflessness hit him harder than his fists ever had. He wasn't fighting the commander of the Blacksteel Hunting Clan out of his own want for Emara, but so he could hand her back every drop of power she had lost when the first empress had signed the treaty for their coven.

Gideon had never been more in awe of an act in all his life. "You are a better man than I will ever be, brother," he announced, his heart squeezing. He took a swing of bourbon.

"I wouldn't go that far," Torin scoffed, sounding a little more like himself. "Are you forgetting that I must try to kill our father in the morning? Surely, you must resent me in some way."

They both laughed awkwardly.

"You are going to win. My faith is in you, big brother."

Torin said nothing. It was another silent acknowledgement of his appreciation. Gideon had always tried to remain in the middle when it came to the fight for dominance between his brother and father, but with what was coming tomorrow, he had to pick a side. He had to choose. "I will stand by your side, Torin." Gideon placed a hand on his shoulder and leaned in. "And when you are victorious tomorrow, we will face this together. You are not alone in this. I will not let you face commandership alone. The Blacksteel boys always stick together."

A muscle under Torin's eye twitched. "Thank you," he said, his voice strained and strangled with emotion.

The side of Gideon's head rested against Torin's. "You are going to win." His hand cuffed the back of his neck. "And then we are going to get blindingly drunk and talk about all the silly things that I will need to stop you from doing as commander of this clan."

Torin's hand came up and tapped his brother's a few times, and he nodded with his eyes closed.

The door to the rooftop opened, and both brothers turned to find the Empress of Air standing in the threshold. Her midnight black hair fell around her shoulders like a sheet of silk, and her silver strappy dress hugged body as the gentle summer breeze caught the fabric, blowing it against her skin. Her eyes were full of that steel and fire, but her face still remained so full of grace and beauty. They contrasted so brilliantly.

Gideon smiled before looking at his brother, who was staring at her like she was the Goddess Rhiannon herself. "I will leave you two alone."

"Actually"—her hands dropped to her sides and her gaze lingered on Gideon—"it was you I was looking to speak with."

"Me?" He couldn't hide the surprise in his voice.

"Yes, if that's okay," she said gently.

"Of course." He threw a glance at Torin, who nodded once.

"Come and find me when you are done," Torin said to Emara as he walked towards her. His hands found their way into her hair, and she softened, closing her eyes. He pressed one small kiss to her forehead, and Gideon had never seen such a gentle gesture from his brother. It crippled his heart. He had seen him with her on many occasions, but now that his love for her was out in the world, they both seemed more comfortable showing their affection in front of others.

Gideon swallowed down a feeling he didn't quite understand as Torin left the two of them on the rooftop.

There had been a time before Emara's ascension, before the Amethyst Palace, when Gideon had sworn that he would fight for her. And he still would, until his last breath, but not in the way he once vowed. He wasn't going to fight for her heart anymore; they had said goodbye to each other, standing in the foyer that day, yet somehow it had not felt like the end. But as they stood on the rooftop of the highest tower in Huntswood with the breathtaking sun falling into the earth behind them, whatever had happened between them felt like history.

She moved forward, her strides precise, before stopping a few feet away from him. "I tried to find you before today's meeting." She paused, searching his face. "I wanted to tell you about what angle Torin was going to take with the prime to see if you could do anything to persuade him to change his mind, but I couldn't seem to reach you."

"I was in the gardens with Sybil just before," he said quietly. "The ones around the back, near the stables."

"I know." Emara nodded. "Lorta told me."

Gideon felt his shoulders relax. "I help her plant flowers and herbs before mid-morning."

Emara smiled, and true endearment shone in her eyes. "I can't believe Sybil has turned you into a seedsman."

"I find myself in the gardens more often than not now," he said in return. "I mean, I am Sybil's guard, so I am required to be there, but I enjoy it. Friendship is a funny thing."

"Yes, isn't it just?" She clasped her hands together.

A moment passed between them, causing them both to look out at the city. A few candles or oil lamps had lit the windows of homes, and the smoke from the chimneys began to look less powdery in the darkened light. The trees in the distance looked full and green, contrasting with the colours of the streets and buildings.

"I am sorry that you found out the way you did," Emara said, so gently, "about Torin and I and the decision that my heart had made. So much has happened. There were probably so many moments I could have said something or told you, but—"

"But you weren't ready then," he finished, understanding completely.

The tension in her shoulders fell. "I don't think I was ready for any of this."

Gideon raised his chin. "You were. You were ready for all of it. You just didn't see it coming." He allowed a smile to turn up one corner of his mouth. "I mean, how can you predict falling for my brother?"

She let out a snort, and it was the first time her smile had reached her eyes today. "Trust me when I say I am still in disbelief."

He laughed too. "I am not."

She looked at him funny, but she didn't say anything as her lashes swept down and then up again.

He had seen both of them from the beginning. This wasn't a shock. The looks, the small gestures, the tension in their arguments that weren't really arguments. Time after time, she had opened up to Torin, allowing him further into her heart. She brought out the best in Torin. It was what the Gods called balance.

"I am sorry that I didn't challenge my father more on the arranged marriage," he found the courage to say. "You deserved better than that."

"It's all right, Gideon. I understand that your traditions are special to you." She sighed as she found the railings too.

"I wouldn't say special," he said, trying to find some sort of humour in this mess. "It's just not how I wanted things to be, you know? For things to turn out this way."

She nodded politely. "I know you didn't."

Another moment passed, her gaze still on him. And she must have known that he was working up to asking her something significant because she seemed to be waiting for him to say something.

"Answer me one thing," he finally said, not waiting any longer for his final piece of closure. "Truthfully, after all of this is said and done, if my brother wins tomorrow, it is his path to become the commander of the clan. If he tears up the treaty that chains you to the Blacksteel Clan and states that your heart is free to choose whoever it wants, will your heart still choose him?"

She took a moment, and as she thought it over, a long strand of hair worked its way out like a silken banner, blowing across her face.

"Yes. Gideon, my heart would choose Torin." Her throat bobbed. "My head, if it were sensible, would tell me to choose you. It would tell me that we would have had a good life together, a great friendship. But my heart cannot allow me to do that. My heart belongs to him. Our souls are attached." A pool of tears swam in her eyes, and guilt etched into her features. "I know you wanted to fight for us, for something that your father wanted. But he inflicted that pressure on you, and that wasn't fair to you, your brother, or me." She stepped forward, and Gideon could see a small tear glitter down her cheek. "Thank you for offering to fight for me, but I will not allow you to sacrifice your happiness anymore. It would be cruel of me to give you any kind of hope that my heart is undecided on where it lies. Whether I realised it or not, it's been settled for a long time."

"I know," he said, looking at his boots. "I realise that now. But please don't cry." He quickly closed the distance between them so that he could wipe away her tears. "You should be happy that your heart finally found its unwavering, core-rattling, soul-on-fire kind of love."

She laughed as another tear fell. "With us, it was like trying to fit a key into a lock that just didn't quite fit."

"Oh, the key did fit," he said back, his hunter charm lingering in the air. "It just doesn't unlock the door."

Emara laughed again and rolled her eyes. "Right," she said. She stood back with a smile and wiped her own tears.

"I said to you long ago that it would be an absolute travesty if someone won your heart that wasn't worthy of it. But my brother is. I am happy for you both." Gideon tucked one hand into his pocket.

Emara rolled her lips, another tear falling as she mouthed, "Thank you."

He threw her a cheeky grin. "So," Gideon teased, feeling the energy between them shift, "what was it about him? His downright bad attitude? His swaggering arrogance? The rebellion in his eyes?"

Emara's laugh travelled into the dusky pink sky. Gideon laughed with her, feeling a little lighter.

But when she settled back down, she had that beautiful magic in her eyes. "Torin is formidable, and when he looks at me, he makes me feel that way too," she replied. Her eyes softened, and her heart burst open wide for the world to see. "He makes me feel like I could conquer anything."

Gideon smirked. "You should see him when he gears us up before a hunt. That might really tip you over the edge. Some say he's the most formidable warrior in the clan, but don't tell him that. We don't need his ego getting any bigger."

They laughed again, and as the amusement settled into silence, Emara spoke. "Whatever happens, I don't want us to lose this, our friendship. We almost have before, and I don't want that to happen again."

"It won't," he promised her. "We are on the same team."

"Good."

He let out an over-dramatic sigh. "Well, I suppose you should go and find the formidable, Torin Blacksteel ."

"I liked you better when you were sulking," Emara jested, sticking her tongue out at him.

"No," he laughed. "But you should go. He needs you tonight."

A softness found its way into Emara's eyes again, and her features relaxed. She nodded once. "I am glad I caught you."

"Me too." He smiled politely back at her.

Emara turned to walk away, but just as she reached the door, she swirled around, her dark hair swinging over her shoulder. "Take her freesia." Gideon's brow must have pulled down because Emara laughed. "Freesia is Sybil's favourite flower. There is some growing in your mother's garden, you will know by the smell. They are beautiful. Pick her a bunch and take them to her. The white ones are her favourite."

With a smile, the Empress of Air disappeared down the steps.

Freesia was Sybil's favourite flower.

Interesting.

Feeling like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders, Gideon quickly moved from the rooftop, leaving his past behind, and found himself heading to the corner of his mother's garden.