Chapter Seventeen

The ball was in full swing and Arthur smiled to himself, despite knowing that Lady Clara and Lady Templeton were present. It had been a good few days and he had, surprisingly, enjoyed himself more than he had expected, particularly in getting to know Miss Townsend a little better. He would have to continue that pursuit of her, would have to continue growing the intimacy between them and that, though it did not come naturally as yet, would do so in time, he was sure. For the first time, it felt as though he were stepping out of a dark and dusty place into a place so filled with beauty and light that he could not quite accustom himself to it fully, given he had been so long in the shadow.

"I must admit, I was surprised to get your invitation. I did not think you would be as bold as to invite me."

His lip curling, Arthur drew himself up fully. "I had very little choice after Lady Templeton basically forced my hand. I had to invite everyone within that company."

Lord Drover chuckled though there was some great friendship between them rather than this hostility which Arthur felt running right through him. "You could have ignored me. I would not have cared."

"Though you cared enough to come all the way from London to my estate," Arthur put in, before he could stop himself. When Lord Drover's tight smile faded, Arthur only shrugged. "I have never done anything to harm or hurt you, Drover. You may wish to continue on in such a vein but for what purpose? I do not understand the animosity between us, nor do I understand your desire to spread rumours about me but one thing I do understand is that you are not a gentleman to be trusted. So please, do join us. Do come and take the wine and eat the presented food but do not expect any other sort of warmth in your welcome."

"The fact that you do not understand explains everything." Lord Drover's lip curled. "You always were both blind and foolish."

Anger swelled but Arthur took a breath and pushed it down. It would do no good to lose his temper here and certainly not with someone so unimportant to him now. "If you do not wish to tell me, then so be it." With a shrug he turned away, only to walk straight into Lady Clara's path. "Oh, forgive me!" Stepping back, Arthur held up both hands, already a little embarrassed and hoping he had not stepped on her foot. "Are you all right?"

"Perfectly." Lady Clara smiled up at him, her face filled with a hope that Arthur did not want to encourage. This morning had already brought about one conversation between the two of them and though it had been a good conversation and one which, he believed, was entirely needed, it had also been awkward and brought with it a tension which he did not like. Lady Clara seemed to think that they would now be friends and he did not want to injure her by stating that was the last thing he desired. When Isabella and Abigail had come upon them both talking in the hallway, he had been somewhere between embarrassment and relief, though he had then mortified himself all the more by permitting Lady Clara to pull him towards the dining room – and had not yet found a way to tell Abigail all that he had said to Lady Clara and all that she had said to him. There had been much preparation for the ball though they had all sat together at dinner thereafter. He had barely managed more than a brief smile in her direction and a brief word of hello rather than the prolonged conversation he wished to have.

"Are you to dance this evening, Lord Crestwood?"

Arthur cleared his throat as he fought to find an answer that would not upset Lady Clara but speak truth at the same time. "I am not yet certain, Lady Clara. I intend to find Miss Townsend just as soon as I am able so I might offer her whichever dances she pleases."

Lady Clara's smile flickered. "I see. That is more than understandable and I am sure Miss Townsend will appreciate your consideration of her."

"I am sure she shall – and I must now go and find her." Inclining his head, Arthur made to move away only for Lady Clara to catch his arm. He turned, irritation spiking through him, though he said nothing of it to her.

"Might you return to stand up with me thereafter?"

A little confused, Arthur tried not to let the frown pulling at his forehead spread into his expression. "I beg your pardon?"

"Well, after all we spoke of this morning, it would be a way to show everyone that things between us are perfectly at ease now, would it not?"

Considering, Arthur took in a slow breath. "Mayhap it would," he admitted, after a few minutes. "But as I have said, I must go and find Miss Townsend first. Do excuse me."

Walking away from her – and relieved that she had not attempted to pull him back, Arthur made his way all the way around the ballroom in the hope of finding Miss Townsend but try as he might, he could not see her. He even passed Lady Clara again, though she was in deep conversation with Lord Drover and did not so much as glance at him.

"Are you looking for your betrothed?"

Arthur turned, only then to smile warmly at his sister. "Isabella, you look quite magnificent."

"I do, don't I?" The delight in his sister's voice had Arthur laughing, though he took her hand and bowed over it .

"Yes, you do. I should be very glad to dance with you this evening, if you would wish to stand up with me?"

"I should like that very much." Lady Isabella smiled at him when he released her hand. "You are looking for Abigail though, yes? She has only just come down."

"Oh." A little surprised that it had taken her a time to join them all at the ball, Arthur looked in the direction his sister pointed, only for his breath to hitch.

Miss Townsend looked absolutely breathtaking and, for the first time since they had been introduced, he found himself unable to speak. Her eyes met his and Arthur put one hand to his heart and then bowed in her direction, a prickling running down his spine as he lifted his head to look at her again. He could hardly take her in, could barely think of what to say that might express his feelings adequately. Making his way towards her, he put one hand out to her and, to his joy, she took it without hesitating. Perhaps he would not have to worry about explaining what his conversation had been with Lady Clara until the ball was over. He could speak to her about that come the morrow.

"Miss Townsend – Abigail. I cannot find the words to tell you of my thoughts at this moment."

Miss Townsend blushed beautifully, the curls in her hair a burnished bronze in the candlelight and the green of her gown highlighting the color in her eyes. The way she smiled at him, the tenderness in her expression and the hope in her gaze filled his heart with warmth and this time, though his first response was to ignore it, to press it back and down, he did not let himself do so. Instead, he accepted it and let it flow through him and, to his very great astonishment, a happiness spread all through his heart and his mind, giving him a joy which he had never before experienced.

"You are very kind, Lord Crestwood. I am glad to be here with you this evening."

"As am I," he answered, truthfully. "I do hope you will dance with me this evening?"

In answer, Miss Townsend slipped the card from her wrist and handed it to him. "I should be glad to dance any of them with you."

"I shall dance two, at the very least." Looking at them all, he lifted his head and smiled at her. "What do you say to the quadrille and the waltz?"

Miss Townsend looked up at him. "I did enjoy our first waltz, Lord Crestwood."

"Then this one shall be even better." Leaning closer to her, he smiled into her eyes. "I promise not to turn from you, not to pull my smiles away or to hide my happiness in your company. "

"Then it truly will be a good deal better," Miss Townsend murmured, quietly, her cheeks still flushed as she smiled gently. "I look forward to dancing with you again, Crestwood."

He smiled at the intimate way she spoke to him, for there was no ‘Lord Crestwood' on her lips now but rather only, ‘Crestwood', just as his mother and sister called him. "Thank you, Abigail."

"And I do hope you will dance with a Captain?"

Arthur chuckled as Captain Harrington came to join them though Miss Townsend nodded eagerly and handed him her dance card thereafter. "Do you not have enough dances to complete your evening that you must now come to steal them from my betrothed?"

"Your betrothed has more than enough dances to offer," Miss Townsend replied, as Arthur laughed. "Thank you, Captain, I would be glad to stand up with you."

It took some minutes for the Captain to choose his dance and when he moved away, Arthur quickly offered Miss Townsend his arm, eager to walk with her for a short while.

"I did have something I wanted to speak with you about, Lord Crestwood."

Arthur looked to her. "It is no doubt about Lady Clara and the conversation – and situation – you came upon when we were in the hallway this morning," he began, only for Miss Townsend to shake her head and quieten him. "No?"

"It is not that though it is not to say that I should not be glad to hear whatever it was that took place," she answered, her free hand reaching across to settle on his arm for a moment as she looked up at him. "That certainly was an unusual circumstance to happen upon."

Arthur nodded. "I quite agree and I would be glad to explain all to you once we have spoken about whatever it is on your mind."

Miss Townsend took in a breath, her forehead crinkling as though she wanted to ask about Lady Clara and was fighting to concentrate on whatever it was she wanted to express to him. "It is about Captain Harrington."

"The Captain?" Arthur repeated, as Miss Townsend's eyes caught his. "What is it that you wish to say about him?"

"He is a good friend, yes?"

Arthur nodded.

"And you think him a good man?"

"I do." The response came quickly and without even a speck of hesitancy. "Both he and I fought alongside each other and he displayed more wisdom, bravery and courage than I have ever seen. I think him the very best of men. "

Miss Townsend's eyes searched his. "And it does not matter to you that he bears no title?"

"None whatsoever!" A little confused at these questions, Arthur fought back the sudden concern that Miss Townsend was asking such things for her own considerations. They were engaged and she had already agreed to wed him so there was no possibility of her thinking of herself, surely?

"Then I shall have to be bold and ask whether you would be contented with the Captain courting someone close to you."

Arthur's eyebrows shot towards his hairline. "I beg your pardon?"

Miss Townsend laughed at his surprise, though her face was a little flushed still. "Have you truly not understood what it is that I am speaking about as yet?"

Hesitating, Arthur let his thoughts run over what she had asked him, only for his memories of how the Captain and his sister had occasionally shared a look or a small smile.

"Oh!" His eyes widened. "You are speaking about Isabella?"

"I am, though I did promise I would do so in confidence – though quite how I was to ask you without mentioning her name, I could not quite understand!"

"What is it that you want to know?"

Miss Townsend took in a deep breath and then stopped walking, turning to face him. "What if your sister does not wish to be courted by any gentleman from London? What if her thoughts are already settled on the Captain?"

It did not take even a moment for Arthur to give her his answer. "Then I should be quite contented. All they need to do is ask me."

"Oh, how wonderful!" Miss Townsend clapped her hands together, her face alight with a sudden, fierce joy that had Arthur smiling back at her. "She will be so glad to know of your thoughts."

Arthur's smile faded. "I am a little disappointed that she did not think she could ask me of such a thing herself?"

Miss Townsend smiled and reached out to slip her hand through his arm again. "You are trying to change into a warmer, more open soul, are you not? It will take time for your sister to see that, though I am certain she would be nervous all the same! I believe that Captain Harrington and she are already very much in love. It would only be right to see them happy."

The mention of love had Arthur's heart quickening though he looked straight ahead rather than letting his gaze go to Miss Townsend. He had once thought himself close to falling in love with Lady Clara only for his heart to be broken when she had torn herself from him. With Miss Townsend, his heart was already eager to draw close to her and while some of the sensations and the emotions within his heart were familiar, they were growing rapidly. The fact that he was choosing now not to push them back, not to hide them away meant that he felt every single thing when it came to being in Miss Townsend's company – but did that mean that he might fall in love with her too?

"Oh, that is the quadrille!" Miss Townsend beamed up at him, her eyes bright. "Shall we make our way to the floor?"

"We shall." Putting his thoughts to the side for the moment Arthur led Miss Townsend out to the center of the ballroom, ready to step into their dance together. This was meant to be a joyous evening, spent with friends and family, and he was not about to let his thoughts shatter even a small part of that.

***

"The waltz!" Arthur looked all around, hearing the waltz announced and eager to go and find Miss Townsend so he might walk out with her for it. "Has anyone seen Miss Townsend?"

"I think she left."

Surprised, Arthur turned around to look into Lady Clara's face. "Left?"

"Yes, she was feeling a little unwell. I believe her mother went with her."

"Oh." Surprised at how heavy his heart suddenly became at this, Arthur looked away for a moment, rubbing at his chin. "I should go to her." He made to step away and again, Lady Clara caught his arm.

"She said she would return in a few minutes, I do not think you need to be overly concerned," she said, with a warm smile. "Though, since we have opportunity, should we not stand up together? It would make me very happy indeed to be dancing with you."

Arthur made to let fly a harsh retort, to tell her that the only person he wished to waltz with was Miss Townsend, only for another hand to grasp his other arm.

"Oh, that would be most wonderful!"

Groaning inwardly, Arthur lifted his chin. "It would be, Lady Templeton, but alas, I am to dance with Miss Townsend."

"Ah, but she is not here! She is gone to lie down for a short while. No doubt she did not want to disturb you during the house party ball." Lady Templeton tilted her head. "It would bring me great happiness to see you dancing with Lady Clara. After all, there has been a good deal of pain and strife between you both. How wonderful it would be to have that finally healed – and for the ton to see that there is no further bitterness or animosity between you. "

"It would be truly wonderful."

Arthur shook his head. "Alas, I cannot. I – "

" Please, Crestwood." Lady Clara looked up at him, her eyes pleading with his. "It would mean an end to everything." Her gaze slid to her mother and Arthur understood precisely what she meant. Lady Templeton would no longer pressure her, would no longer attempt to push the two of them together once this dance had taken place. To Lady Clara's mind, it seemed, it would bring an end to the entire thing and that, Arthur considered, might then make the dance worth doing.

If Abigail is not here, would it not be wise to step out with Lady Clara? It would mean an end to her mother's incessant demands and I am certain Abigail will understand. He smiled to himself, dropping his head. She is a very good, understanding sort of creature.

"You are smiling, Lord Crestwood."

"I am thinking of Miss Townsend, Miss Templeton," Arthur replied, swiftly, taking the gleam from her eye. "Very well, Lady Clara, we can step out together. However," he continued, seeing her bright smile and the clasping of Lady Templeton's hands, "this shall not be repeated. I am not going to pretend that there is no hurt nor pain between us still, Lady Clara. Though I will say that there has come some healing of late, that is solely thanks to Miss Townsend and not because of any improvement between us. I will dance with you so that, as you say, the ton notices it and will see an end to the difficulty and tension between us – but that is the only reason I shall do so. I do not dance with you because I truly wish to or because I have any genuine desire to do so. I step out with you so that there can be an end to any whispered suggestions of ill feeling between us. That is all."

Lady Templeton's smile had become a little fixed and Lady Clara herself looked rather disappointed. However, when he offered his arm, she did take it though she did not smile, sharing a glance with her mother before he led her out.

The waltz began and Arthur started the dance, taking Lady Clara in his arms and thinking silently to himself how different it was when he had danced the very same waltz with Miss Townsend. Even though Lady Clara had once been a part of his life, had once had a place in his heart, he felt nothing now. There was no desire to pull her closer, no eagerness to wrap his arm around her waist a little more as there had been with Miss Townsend. He did not want to look deeply into her eyes, did not want to gaze down at her with affection growing in his heart. All he wanted was for this dance to be over.

"You say you have let the past go." Lady Clara searched his face but Arthur only glanced at her before looking away again. "You say that is due to Miss Townsend. Might it not be something else also? "

Frowning, Arthur looked at her. "I do not know what you mean."

"Could it not be that seeing me again, speaking with me and permitting our hearts to soften has brought about this healing?"

Arthur let out a bark of laughter, spinning Lady Clara around. "I can assure you that it is not. There is nothing between us any longer and I am glad of that."

Her expression crumpled but Arthur did not let his heart soften in sympathy. He had to be truthful, had to make certain she understood and that meant speaking with her in a clear, precise manner even if it did bring her a little pain.

"I care for Miss Townsend," he found himself saying, the wonder of it catching in his chest as he looked back at Lady Clara, seeing her eyes flare. "What we once shared is no longer a part of my life and I do not feel broken over that any longer."

"Then you mean to say you can never come to care for me again?"

Arthur almost stumbled at her question, astonishment rushing right through him and kicking at his heart. In all of his conversations with Lady Clara, he had never once expected her to be hoping for this sort of thing! She had always apologized, had always seemed embarrassed by what her mother had hoped for or had asked him to do – but now, Arthur wondered, had she secretly been hoping for the very same?

"I am engaged, Clara." With a frown, he saw her blink furiously as though she had been hoping for another answer and was now entirely broken over his response. "As I have said, I care for Miss Townsend."

"But you cared for me, once," she cried, as the music began to slow, bringing the dance to an end. "You cannot tell me that there is nothing within your heart for me any longer for there must be something. There must be even the smallest – "

"There is not!" Arthur released her, relief pouring through his veins as he let her go. "It is as I have said, Clara, there is nothing between us and I now have a growing affection in my heart for Miss Townsend. I am to marry her. I am glad to marry her for it is she who has taken a hold of my heart – though I confess that I am still learning what that means and how I am best able to express it." Bowing, he waited until she had curtsied before he finished. "We are barely acquaintances, Lady Clara, and that is all that we shall ever be."

Lady Clara let out a sob and, to his shock, launched herself into his arms. He caught her, only to realize that her lips were seeking his and, horrified, he caught her arms and set her back. "You are unwell!" he exclaimed, hoping that those around them, those who had witnessed her attempts, would hear what he had to say. "Footman! Fetch Lady Clara a glass of water at once. Come, Lady Clara, you must go to the parlour and lie down. "

Grasping her arm gently, he led her from the floor, his heart thudding wildly in his chest. Keeping his eyes fixed, he suddenly caught sight of Miss Townsend – and the look on her face had him stumbling. She was white faced, her eyes staring and, as he held her gaze, she clapped one hand over her mouth, tears burning in her eyes, and turned away, hurrying through the crowd and disappearing entirely from his view.