Chapter Twelve

"So this is Crestwood Hall."

Looking around her, Abigail could not help but feel a little overawed. The drive to Crestwood Hall had taken less than a day's ride in the carriage and she had delighted in the beautiful countryside, in the river, the bridge, the flowers and the meadows in her view. The estate was vast and the manor house, though not intimidating itself, was certainly larger than her father's and, in that, had a greater presence.

"It is." Lord Crestwood, who had offered his arm to her the moment she had stepped out of the carriage, gestured to the beautiful oak wood paneling along the walls. "My father had this wing of the house repaired and restored in the years before he died."

"It is beautiful." She glanced up at him but Lord Crestwood was not looking at her, his gaze still on the house itself. He had not really looked into her face since she had arrived and that did concern her a little.

"You will want to rest, I am sure. The drive was – "

"The drive was not in the least bit taxing," she replied, quickly. "It was not as long as I had anticipated."

Lord Crestwood frowned. "Then you do not want to rest?"

"No, I would be quite contented to continue walking with you." An uncomfortable knot settled in her stomach as they walked together, sensing a prickling nervousness rising up within her again. At the ball where she had not only come to his defense but spoken in his place and, unfortunately, been forced to suggest that an invitation to the house party ball might be forthcoming to Lady Templeton, Abigail had thought there had come an improved connection between them both. Now, however, from the moment she had stepped into his company, that strange tension had reappeared. It was as though he had felt the very same but now did not want to continue with that improvement. Instead, he might wish to push it back, to push it away from them both. That was not what Abigail wanted but it seemed as though Lord Templeton was not about to permit her such a thing.

Her future with the Earl of Crestwood was as unsettling a prospect as it had ever been. If he would not look at her, would not willingly engage her in conversation and had no desire to improve their connection, then what was she to do?

"Miss Townsend! There you are!"

A whirlwind in a shade of pink rushed towards Abigail and she caught her breath, only to laugh as Lady Isabella embraced her. "Lady Isabella, good evening. "

"How wonderful that you are here!" the lady exclaimed, grasping Abigail's hands and stepping back. "I did ask for the staff to tell me when you had arrived but I was out in the gardens and it took me some time to return."

"I am very glad to see you again." Abigail meant every word, for Lady Isabella was a very kind creature and seemed to be very glad indeed to have her in Crestwood Hall – which was more than could be said for her brother. "I look forward to spending a few days here."

Lady Isabella squeezed her hands. "This shall soon be your home! You are to be the Mistress of Crestwood Hall, so it is just as well you are here for a few days so that you might know everything about it. It is a beautiful house and my brother keeps the estate very well."

Abigail cast a look up to Lord Crestwood and though he smiled at his sister, it was a little tight and he did not respond to her in any way.

"Come, let me take you to the drawing room and there we might have tea and cakes," Lady Isabella said, pulling her towards the door though Lord Crestwood did not make any protest. "The dinner gong will not sound for at least another two hours so I am certain a cup of tea will give us no difficulty."

Abigail glanced over her shoulder but Lord Crestwood had already turned away. Her heart twisted and she swallowed hard, a little surprised at how sharply an ache came into her heart. Was this what she was to expect from Lord Crestwood? A gentleman so unwilling to consider affection, so undesirous of tenderness between himself and his bride, that he would be nothing but cold and distant? She had seen hints of the sort of gentleman he might be, the sort of character he had within himself – but she had also learned how easily he pushed that down. It was almost too difficult to bear and though she put a smile to her face as Lady Isabella led her forward, the pain in her heart grew with every step she took.

***

"And a wonderful dinner as well!"

Abigail smiled briefly at her mother's enthusiasm though she herself did not share it. The dinner itself had been delicious but it was Lord Crestwood's complete lack of interest in her company which had her heartsick.

"You are all very welcome," Lady Crestwood replied, sharing Lady Townsend's smile. "Now, shall we take our leave, ladies, and leave the gentlemen to their port?"

Out of the corner of her eye, Abigail saw how Lady Isabella smiled warmly in Captain Harrington's direction and how he, in return, responded with a small inclination of his head. She then turned her attention to Lord Crestwood but he was not looking at her nor even in her direction. Instead, his head was turned as he spoke directly to her father.

A shadow fell over her heart and she rose quickly, hurrying from the room before her distress could be made known.

"You are sorrowful over my brother's lack of attention to you." Lady Isabella slipped her hand through Abigail's arm as they walked to the drawing room. "I will tell you the truth, however, though it may be of little comfort."

"Oh?" Abigail chose not to deny her sadness, looking at her new friend as Lady Isabella led her to the drawing room. "What is it you wish to tell me?"

"Only that he has been in this dark mood ever since the ball where he met Lady Clara again," came the reply, though Lady Isabella frowned at this. "He told both myself and my mother what took place and spoke warmly of your defence of him and of your quick thinking when it came to Lady Templeton's ridiculous demands. I do not know why she is so eager for Lady Clara to be pushed back into Crestwood's sphere."

Abigail's smile was tight. "Mayhap I do."

"You do?" Lady Isabella's eyes flared wide. "What could it be?"

Uncertain as to whether or not she ought to say, Abigail sat down on the couch with Lady Isabella beside her, though her friend's eyes remained wide.

"I – I know that Lady Templeton was most displeased to find that I was engaged to your brother," she said, still rather cautiously. "I believe that there is hope that there might be a return of affection there." She pressed her lips together, wondering if Lady Isabella understood what she meant by that only for Lady Isabella to gasp aloud, her understanding more than clear.

"That is preposterous! Does she not understand how badly Lady Clara hurt my brother?"

"I am sure she does, but she believes that an apology will suffice."

"Well, it certainly shall not! And it absolutely will not bring about a return of his affections! My brother adored Lady Clara. She promised to wait for him until he returned from war - but when he appeared, rather than being profoundly grateful that he was even alive, she broke his heart by stating that she could not marry him because he looked like a beast. Her words ignited the rumours about my brother and I cannot and will not forgive her for that." Her chin lifted, her jaw tight. "And I do not think my brother will be able to do so either. The whole idea is quite ridiculous and I do hope you have not let any of Lady Templeton's words enter your heart. "

Abigail smiled briefly and looked down at her hands. "I do not think that such a thing will happen, no," she said, eventually. "Though I am sorry to hear of all Lady Clara did." Recalling what Lord Crestwood had said about being unwilling to indulge in any sort of affection in their marriage, she let out a slow breath. "Though that does not mean, I hope, that he feels I might think of him in the same way."

Lady Isabella did not immediately respond to this and Abigail's heart squeezed.

"You think that he might?"

"I do not know." Lady Isabella sighed and closed her eyes. "My brother has been a changed man since he returned from war. For a long time, he would not have us look at him and would not, I believe, even look at his own reflection. My mother and I were both determined not to give up on him, however, for we saw him lost in a great deal of darkness and pain. We told him that we would look upon his face and would have no fear nor desire to turn away. Eventually, he permitted us to speak with him and to look at him as we might normally do and what he stated about himself, what he said of his appearance was nothing akin to what I saw. To his eyes, he believed himself to be ravaged beyond all recognition but I saw my brother still. When Lady Clara spoke those cruel words to him, it only made him believe all the more than he did not deserve to be considered with any sort of affection or consideration simply because of his altered appearance. I believe that he may believe that you think him repulsive but have said nothing about it due to the fact that this marriage is an arrangement. You would not have come to him of your own free will, I suppose."

"But that does not mean that I find him grotesque!" Abigail exclaimed, tears pricking her eyes now. "He has already told me that I am not to expect any affection from him, that this marriage is to be considered almost as a business dealing whereas – "

"He said that to you?" Lady Isabella grasped her hand tightly. "Oh, my dear Abigail, I am sorry for it. My brother shoulders a good deal of pain and will not speak of it to anyone – not even to my mother. I do not believe him, however."

Abigail blinked quickly so as to push the tears back. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that I have seen him watching you. I have also witnessed the two of you dancing and saw how he laughed and smiled. Thereafter, I watched the flickering emotions on his face as he grew quiet and serious again and, in hearing what you have said, I believe that to be a deliberate choice on his part. It must be that he does not wish to permit himself such feelings – but they are there, Abigail, I am sure of it. He has not smiled nor laughed as he did with you for many a month. "

A faint hope began to build in Abigail's heart and, drawing in a deep breath, she pressed Lady Isabella's hand. "Now, tell me about your Captain Harrington."

" My Captain Harrington?" Lady Isabella's tone sounded a little surprised though a flush came into her cheeks almost at once. "I do not know what you mean."

A quiet laugh broke through Abigail's sadness. "You speak of what you have witnessed and now I speak of what I have seen." She smiled, hoping Lady Isabella did not think her too bold given their new friendship, though her friend only blushed all the more and looked away. "I thought you were in town for the Season?"

"I am – I was." Lady Isabella looked back at Abigail quickly, then leaned forward, speaking in hushed tones. "I have always found the Captain to be an honourable, respectful and considerate man and indeed, he has been strong enough to challenge my brother on occasion! But I am afraid of what I feel. What if the Captain does not return my affection? And what is worse – what if he does?"

A slight frown pulled at Abigail's forehead. "Why should it be worse? Surely the return of his affections is what you desire?"

"Not if my brother refuses to permit me to consider him," came the reply. "I am afraid that my brother will insist that I marry a gentleman of high rank." Her eyes flared. "You might speak to him about it, I think!"

"Me?" Abigail quickly shook her head. "No, I do not think I could."

"Yes, you could!" her friend insisted, suddenly alive with hope. "Once you are married, you will have better chance to speak with him and you might… well, you might discover his thoughts on the matter, at the very least. It would guide me into what I might do next."

Abigail hesitated. "You could simply ask your brother, Lady Isabella?"

"Just ‘Isabella', please. Yes, I suppose I could but I am so very afraid of the answer."

Pressing her lips together, Abigail chose to be bold. "Then I shall do my best," she answered, making Lady Isabella squeal with delight. "I shall not let your brother's determination to push aside all hope. Mayhap he is determined to believe that I am of the very same nature – and opinion – as Lady Clara but I am determined to prove otherwise. He might seek to withdraw from me but I am eager to seek him out. And that means that I will speak to him of whatever I can, whenever I can – including your Captain Harrington, Isabella."

Her friend threw her arms around Abigail's neck and though Abigail admitted silently that she felt herself a little anxious about what she had said to Lady Isabella as regarded Lord Crestwood, she felt her courage grow. There was a little flare of hope within her heart now, a little belief that Lord Crestwood might be able to open his heart to her – if only he would allow himself to do so. Trust would have to be built between them, an openness and thereafter, a vulnerability. She could do it, certainly, but would he?