38. Jess

Chapter 38

Jess

I strode into the throne room with Ethan trailing a couple paces behind. He’d interrupted my breakfast with several urgent missives and news of one important, unexpected visitor seeking an audience.

As I squirmed my way into a somewhat comfortable position on the throne, Ethan unfurled a scroll the size of his thumb and began reading.

“Constables in Cooper are reporting a strange death that appears to be a wild animal attack. This time it was a dock foreman. I will get this to the High Sheriff as soon as we finish this audience.”

He rolled the scroll back up and shoved it in a pocket, then took the next scroll, then the next, and so on. Five messages later, he unfurled the final one and glanced up.

I’d been at the golden doors, lost in thought, and barely heard him.

“Majesty, it appears Guardsman Rea left Oliver yesterday.”

The mention of Keelan brought my gaze to his.

“That puts him back in the capital tomorrow or the next day. The scroll doesn’t say anything about his investigation.”

“Did he say anything else?” I asked.

Ethan couldn’t hide the smile that curled the corners of his mouth. “No, Majesty, only that he would be here soon. The scroll was written by the Chief Constable, not Guardsman Rea.”

“Of course it was,” I huffed under my breath, just loud enough for Ethan to hear. When he stifled a laugh, I shot daggers his direction.

“Sorry, Majesty. How very inconsiderate of him.” His smirk widened to a grin.

“Are you not needed elsewhere, High Chancellor ? A message to deliver? A cliff to jump off?”

“I will find a cliff straightway, Majesty.” A laugh escaped as he offered an exaggerated bow. When he rose, his smile vanished, and his voice lowered. “Jess, please be wary of your next audience. The Order is growing in influence across the Kingdom, faster than I ever could have imagined. You have worked too hard building a solid reputation and good will to see a battle with the clergy do you harm. Most of their Priests are doing good work for people who need it. We may have ears in every corner, but they have wagging tongues and powerful voices.”

I considered his words and nodded.

Ethan disappeared through the massive double doors, and the royal page entered.

“Ambassador Wilfred, Majesty.” The page bowed toward the throne and waited for my reply.

“Great,” I muttered. “Send him in.”

Danym strode slowly down the center aisle, his eyes locking onto mine and never wavering. I thought he looked a little too proud of himself and regretted holding this audience without Ethan by my side to offer calming words or wisdom—or simply to hold me back. I wanted nothing more than to strangle the life out of my guest.

Danym stopped a few paces from the dais and bowed. “Majesty, thank you for seeing me.”

Ethan’s words echoed in my head, and I resisted the urge to spit curses at the man. Instead, I stood and stepped down from the dais toward the Council table.

“Please, join me for tea. It has been a long morning already, and my back cannot take sitting on the throne one moment longer.”

If he was surprised by my cordial offer, Danym didn’t show it. He nodded once and stepped toward the table.

The same guards who ushered Danym out following his last audience stepped forward, taking up positions on either side of the seat I indicated Danym should occupy. Rather than sitting at the table’s head where we would be close, I took a seat on the opposite side, keeping the heavy oak table between us.

A servant materialized from the darkness and filled two cups. I raised mine and took a long sip.

Danym’s brow rose, but he remained silent.

“What does the Order seek of the Crown today?” I asked.

He lowered his gaze and spoke in softened tones. “I am only pleased to be in Her Majesty’s presence once again. I have missed our chats, especially those in the forest at night.”

My grip on the cup tightened, and I had to set it down to keep from spilling my tea.

Of all things Danym could discuss, our evening rendezvous were the least welcome topic. Those had been the happiest moments of my life, filled with wine, fruit, cheese, and the most beautiful man I’d ever met . . . until our nights found me bound, drugged, and facing certain death at the hands of that same handsome man. My heart ached at the loss of a beautiful innocence, almost as much as it blazed with righteous anger over his betrayal.

When I looked up, the intensity of my gaze made him flinch.

“Just tell me why you are here so we can be done with this.”

He had the good grace to look hurt. “Jess—”

“Never use my name again. Address me as Your Majesty or not at all,” I snapped, immediately regretting the venom in my tone.

Ethan was right. I had to control myself.

“I am sorry. It has been a long day,” I said.

His eyes fixed on a knot in the table’s rich wood. “No, I’m the one who is sorry, Your Majesty. It won’t happen again.”

Silence loomed as we each stared at something, anything, that wasn’t the other person. We might have been sitting across the whole country, not the table, in that moment. When one of the guards reached down to scratch an itch, the squeal of his armor scraping against itself turned my gaze back to Danym.

“Where did you go? After—”

“The Temple,” he replied.

“You mean you were there? When Justin—”

Danym’s head snapped up. “No. I was in the Temple, but not the chamber. I didn’t know your brother was there, or what they had planned. You have to believe me, Je—Your Majesty. I didn’t know.”

“And when I was there? When they dragged me down that aisle?”

His head lowered again. “Yes.”

“Yes, what?” My voice was now hardened ice. “Yes, you were in the chamber when they were going to kill me? Is that what you are saying ‘yes’ to?”

He didn’t speak or look up for a long moment.

Then he said, “I was under her Compulsion.”

“When you wooed me? When you asked me to trust you? When you promised to start a life together? Or when you stood by and watched my own mother drug me and try to take my life? When were you being Compelled? Please enlighten me.”

He looked up.

His eyes pleaded in a way I hadn’t seen since the night we fled the capital. “I felt her Call after that night in the inn, the one with the old couple by the fire. Not before. Never before.”

His eyes glistened in the light of the table’s candles. His lips quivered.

My mind raced almost as quickly as my heart.

This was the man I’d loved more than any other, the one I’d pledged to abdicate my throne for. I would have given up the whole Kingdom for him.

Now, I was ready to have him executed the moment he stepped one foot wrong.

Yet he claimed his actions had not been his own.

That made sense.

He’d loved me.

I knew it.

And I wanted desperately to believe him, to believe he would never intentionally betray me. I wanted to believe.

He reached a hand across the table toward mine, but I jerked back as his fingers brushed my skin. I clutched my hand to my chest as though it’d been burned.

“No,” I whispered. “We can never go back to what we had. Even if your actions were not your own, I will always be haunted by the betrayal in your eyes. I still dream about that mask you wore, that mask you looked through as you laughed at my terror. How could I ever see beyond that? How could anyone?”

A tear trickled down his cheek.

He reclaimed his hand and slowly nodded.

“I understand,” was all his voice could muster.

I took another sip of tea, desperate for strength and courage.

“Why do you still wear those robes? If Irina’s Compulsion died with her, why stay with those awful people?”

His eyes became distant, his voice again a whisper. “Where else could I go? At least in these robes I can try to help people, do some good with whatever life I have left. I lost the only thing that mattered. What do I have left?”

I couldn’t listen anymore. “I am tired. Return to the Palace tomorrow, and we will discuss whatever it is your Order seeks us to consider.” I stood, wheeled from the table flanked by the two guards, and vanished out the side door, leaving Danym alone in the massive chamber.

I barely slept that night.

Memories of Danym flooded my mind, and I couldn’t find the magic to banish them. In my dreams, he smiled up at me as I rode Dittler through town and splattered mud all over his cloak and hair.

The dreams would shift to the forest where he lifted a pastry to my lips, his eyes twinkling in the midnight moonlight. He gripped my hand from across a rough wooden table, adoration flowing beside sparks of flame that went through his skin into mine.

And then he wore a mask.

That mask.

His eyes held amused loathing, no longer twinkling with anything but cruelty and spite.

Unable to bear the dreams any longer, I rose and strode, bleary-eyed and grumpy, into the family dining room two hours earlier than normal. Steaming platters of eggs and bacon waited. The servants always knew exactly when I would appear and ensured everything was in order. If I’d been more awake, it would’ve amazed me, made me smile. I might even have said something to one of the invisible, uniformed purveyors of domestic magic.

One of my maids entered as I finished my meal.

A quick gasp was followed by whispered words near my ear. “Majesty, please, come back to your chamber so I can do something with your hair before the Council arrives.”

It must be bad , I thought.

An hour later, I sat erect on my throne and greeted each member of the Privy Council as they entered the chamber. The domestic magicians had struck again, as my hair was as silky as my gown.

By noon, the Council had beaten every dead horse from Fontaine to the mountains. They’d reviewed troop levels following the latest round of recruitment, discussed talks of renewed trade with partner nations, including Melucia, and even debated opening talks with the more primitive island nations to the south, hoping to increase the flow of goods.

I never spoke.

Councilors looked to me for opinions or guidance, but I nodded and shifted my gaze to Ethan, a look he understood was his cue to make a decision and move the agenda forward.

Ethan was about to call the session to a halt when a royal page rapped twice on the door, indicating the Queen had a high-ranking visitor outside. The page entered and called out, “Holy Voice Danym Wilfred of the Order.”

I cringed.

Every member of the Council turned to me with astonished eyes.

They had, no doubt, heard rumor of the dead High Sheriff’s son making a surprise appearance, but none had the temerity to believe the rumor held any truth.

Yet here he was, begging audience with their Queen.

I looked to Ethan and nodded once. “Let the Council hear his words. We may need their wisdom upon receiving the Order’s request.”

He turned to the page. “Show him in, please.”

No one stood as Danym entered. It violated protocol and custom, even simple good manners, but the Queen remained seated, so her Council followed suit.

For his part, Danym looked as unkempt as I felt.

His normally well-brushed hair tangled rather than hung to his shoulders. Its shine was somehow dull. His eyes carried bags I’d never noticed before, and his shoulders slumped in contrast to the proud posture he regularly displayed.

Good. At least I wasn’t the only one to lose sleep .

A twinge of something passed through me as I watched him enter. Despite everything, part of me wanted to comfort him, to rush forward, grip his arm, and help him into the room. I shook off that silliness and turned my expression to steel.

He stopped on the golden mark, bowed toward the throne, and waited.

Ethan spoke coldly. “Voice, to what purpose do you interrupt a session of the Privy Council with Her Majesty?”

Danym rose.

The ice in Ethan’s voice somehow granted him strength, and his eyes hardened. He ignored Ethan and looked directly at me.

“I came hoping you had considered the One’s offer. It has been nearly a week, and he grows impatient for your reply. I fear, without this marriage, the Kingdom may experience . . . difficulties . . . that could otherwise be avoided.”

My brows rose, as did the heat coursing through my veins. Chairs groaned as a few of my Ministers shifted in their seats.

“Are you threatening the Queen?” Ethan asked.

Danym shook his head. “Only advising, as is my duty to the Crown.”

Others began to speak, to ask questions and raise their voices. I silenced them with a raised palm, then stood and walked a pace from the table.

“What sort of difficulties ? Please, advise us.”

“Your Majesty’s people suffered great loss following the folly beyond the mountains. Husbands, sons, fathers—so many were lost. Our Priests minister to the needs of our people. We understand the value of faith in a time of sadness and grief. Our people seek shelter in our arms when the Crown’s own embrace is . . . lacking. The One fears our people’s reaction should the Crown reject the Faith’s honest offer of alliance and friendship.”

I balled my fists and forced myself to breathe slowly and deeply. Not only had he threatened the Crown with possible unrest, but his continual use of our people claimed my subjects were shared by his One. Everything he said was an affront to me, my family, my crown, and my Kingdom. I knew Ethan had been right to advise caution and a level head, but I could not let this weasel spew such filth, not in my Palace, before my Council.

“You think we considered marrying you? Or marrying your Faith? Or whatever insanity you were proposing? Does your One think we have completely lost our mind?”

As I marched forward, guards reacted, encircling Danym with pikes at the ready. I pointed an accusing finger at him and spoke with the wrath of a royal.

“Tell your master the answer is no and will always be no. I will not marry a dog on a leash, even if that leash glitters with gold.” I sucked in a breath and glanced apologetically toward Ethan before returning my eyes to Danym’s. “And do not bother returning to the Palace— ever . I, Jessia Vester, First of her Name and Queen of the Spires, hereby sever all relations with the Order, and therefore expel the Order’s representative to the Crown from the capital. Your Priests may continue ministering to my people, but enter the capital again at your own peril.”

I turned and nodded to Ethan. “We are done here. We shall resume tomorrow. Guards, get that man out of my Palace. Escort him to the city’s border once he has gathered whatever belongings he might need. If he resists, send his head to the One as a token of our love and affection.”

I marched from the chamber without so much as a glance back.