26. Declan

Chapter twenty-six

Declan

" A ll right, you two." Kels? eyed me and órla. "I don't want you to think this will be all studying and no fun. We will start with an exercise to help you find your Light. Everyone who can wield magic, whether one Gift or many, possesses this well of power within themselves. The first step in taking any action is grasping that Light, but you must learn to find it instinctively before you can shape it into action. Close your eyes and place one palm on the center of your chest, then focus on the pressure of your hand. Take a deep breath and continue focusing on that pressure. Feel ripples of sensation spreading out from your hand, but concentrate on its center, on your palm.

"Now, what do you see?"

I squeezed my eyes tight, concentrating on my palm, though I wasn't sure how I was supposed to do that without looking at it. "I don't see anything. "

I could imagine Kels? pursing her lips. "Keep your eyes closed. Keep concentrating on your palm."

She muttered a few words I didn't understand. I cracked one eye open to find her index finger glowing. I shut my eye right before she touched her fingertip to the back of my hand, the one pressed against my chest. The glow traveled from her finger into my palm, then inward to my chest. I could feel it as it traveled, pulsing along the way.

"Whoa. What was that?" My eyes flew open, and I stared down at my hand, pulling it away from my body.

"Eyes shut," Kels? snapped. "Put your hand back where it was. Now, what do you see?"

When I closed my eyes this time, my mind drifted into a place of utter darkness. The sensation of being within was disconcerting but also fascinating. The sound of my heart beating drummed in my ears, and I thought I could hear rivers of blood coursing through my veins and arteries.

"This is incredible . I think I can hear my own blood flowing."

A pinprick of light twinkled in the distance.

"I think . . . I see something. It looks like a tiny dot of white."

"That's it. Keep concentrating and try to relax. Imagine yourself walking toward that dot. Getting closer. Can you see it getting larger, drawing near?" Her voice was deep and hypnotic.

"Yes. It's getting bigger. "

"Breathe s lowly . Take long breaths and hold them before you exhale. Stay calm, focus, and walk forward," she whispered, her words as plodding and deliberate as she asked my mind to be.

"It's growing so bright. It looks like a massive bonfire, pulsing, spitting flames in every direction. It looks . . . alive."

"It is alive." Her voice was now distant, a faint echo of words barely reaching my ears. "Keep walking. Tell me when you think you're close enough to touch it."

A heartbeat passed. "I'm standing in front of it. It's massive—and so pure—like a mountain peak after a fresh snow, but whiter. I can't feel any heat from it."

"It is not that kind of fire. Take your hand—the one that isn't on your chest—and reach out in front of you. Do the same thing in your mind. Reach your hand out and press it against the side of the flame."

"It's . . . oh holy Spirits ! I don't even know how to describe it. It tingles and soothes at the same time. It feels like . . . like tension in a bowstring pulled taut, but not like the string itself, just the tension begging to be released. It feels like it wants me to release it."

I lost my concentration, and my eyes flew open. Sweat dripped from my brow.

"You just touched your magic, your Light, my not-so-Mute son." Kels? smirked and took my hand. "Now, you need to learn to find it without my help. The stone circles over there create a focal point for the Well's power. Think of it like a magnifying glass for a Mage's work; that should make your exercises a little easier. Go sit in the center next to the central pillar and spend the afternoon finding your Light, then walking away from it. Do not let frustration take over when it becomes difficult. And for now, do not touch it unless I'm here with you. I will be back in a few hours to check on your progress."

She stood and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I am proud of you, Declan."

"Thanks"—my voice broke—"Mother."

It felt so strange to call someone that word, but my heart filled at its sound, and Kels?'s smile was sunlight in the heavens. I had been wandering in the woods, lost for so many years; and, somehow, on this faraway mountain on an island in the middle of nowhere, everything felt right.

I was truly at peace.

I was home.

"Umm, Declan, the circle is over there." I looked up to see órla pointing with a wing toward the stones.

"Sorry, little one. Just lost in my head.""Declan, you are not who you've always believed." órla's voice became deep and soothing, yet powerful. It filled the plateau and echoed off the mountainside. I bolted to my feet and staggered back from the table. "You are so much more. Accept it and walk into the Light. Become the man Atikus and Keelan— and Ayden —always knew you could be. Take your place in the circle and claim your birthright, Son of Magic."

I stared at my little friend in awe.

She shook her head, as if shaking off a persona that had taken control, then blinked up at me. "Well, move it, silly. It's rude to keep magic waiting."

She took flight, landed on the central pillar, and stared back at me, head tilted to the side.

I blinked a few times, willing my mind forward, then let my heart choose to take the first step, then another. Before I knew it, I was encircled and standing before órla on her perch.

I reached down and gently stroked her head. "You're pretty amazing, órla. I'm so lucky to have found you. Thank you."

"You were pretty lucky that day, but for the record, I found you. You were utterly lost. And that's embarrassing for a Ranger." She flapped her wings and fluffed up her feathers. "You're welcome."

I sat on the ground, crossed my legs, and closed my eyes. It felt strange, but I knew how important the proper mindset was from my training with sword forms and archery techniques. It always felt a little odd, stepping through the motions without a sword in my hands, but I knew shadowing was one of the best ways to create muscle memory.

It still felt weird .

I tried to focus with my eyes closed, to look inward, to see anything other than daydreams associated with the sounds around me. My mind wandered to the wind tickling my face, or the rushing of the sea's waves toward the shore. A half hour passed before I opened my eyes and shook my head to find órla staring down at me.

"I can hear your mind racing from over here. Until you learn to clear the clutter, you'll never see your Light," she explained.

I blew out a sigh. "I'm trying. There's just so much going on—the wind, the trees, the ocean, the gulls. How am I ever supposed to concentrate through it all?"

"Does your mind race when you shoot a bow?"

"Well, no. I have to shut everything out and focus on the target and my own breathing."

She cocked her head. "So do that, dummy."

I laughed. "You're a lot smarter than you look, little one."

"Oh, nice try. Everyone knows owls are majestic and wise. I look incredibly intelligent, which is a lot more than I can say about a certain Ranger I know. Now focus before I fly over there and peck you again."

Another laugh escaped. "Yes, dear."

The sun was setting, and a kaleidoscope of prism-like brilliance painted the island as the last of day's light fled behind the horizon. I closed my eyes again and imagined myself looking down the guard of my bow toward a target in the distance. I felt the cold wood of the bow against my cheek, the texture of the string against my fingers, the light grip of the arrow. I took a few deep, calming breaths to slow my heart. In my mind, I pulled the bowstring until its tension matched my own strength, and I held.

I breathed deeply again, letting out the exhale as slowly as possible.

Everything calmed.

Everything stilled.

What was first a target in the distance transformed into a flicker. It swirled and flared, growing as I forced myself to walk toward it in my mind. I imagined setting my bow on the ground while keeping my eyes on the glowing ball.

Another step closer.

Then another.

I remembered to breathe, and the Light flared. I smiled at my success, and the Light blazed, as if buoyed by my joy.

I laughed, and it shone before me.

Stepping close enough to touch the flames with an outstretched hand, I felt the Light reaching toward me, yearning for my embrace. The power demanded to be shaped. It begged to be released—to be released by me.

In that moment, I knew for the first time that this was my Light.

My power.

As I reached out to touch the flame, a hand clamped on my shoulder .

My concentration faltered.

The Light winked out.

Annoyed, I opened my eyes and turned to see my mother standing beside me.

"I was so close!"

"I know, but you were about to do something you are not ready for, not without me here to guide you. You have made remarkable progress today. Earlier, you were afraid you would fail; now you are so eager I have to hold you back."

órla flapped to land on my shoulder. "Nice, Declan. Very nice."

"What, no sharp comment? You feeling okay?" I grinned at the owl.

"Success is so rare for you that I wanted to give you your moment." She fluffed herself up. "Moment's over."

I rolled my eyes. "Some moment."

"You two are something." Kels? laughed and helped me stand. "I think that is enough practical work for today. You have a few things to study later, but dinner is almost ready. Get cleaned up so we can eat before you hit the books."

On the way back to my room, órla took me exploring, showing me what hid behind the wooden doors I'd noticed earlier.

We found one room that contained a replica of the stone circles from the ledge, only smaller. At their center, rather than another pillar, was a seat made entirely of the glowing crystal. Around the base of the seat were etched symbols resembling those I'd seen on the gates.

A few doors down from my bedroom was a library. I thought it looked more like a temple, with ceilings that towered over twenty feet and the ever-present crystal lattice shining. Shelves containing thousands of volumes, many in languages I had never seen, covered every wall. As I strolled around the room and ran my fingers over the spines of various tomes, I was surprised when some of the gilded ones flared at my touch.

Keelan would love this place, I thought. And Ayden. I might never get him to leave.

When we were younger, I could barely pull Keelan away from his books. To me, books always seemed so dry and boring when I could be outside playing.

And this whole adventure with the Keeper, and the Well, and our mother . . . Keelan would have loved every minute. He would've loved the challenge of learning magic, especially the book learning, the part I dreaded.

There had been so many strange things happening lately, and all so quickly, that I hadn't had time to think about my brother or Atikus much. Now that I was standing still, able to think, I realized how much I missed them.

There was another image haunting me as well.

Ayden's face forever lingering in the back of my mind.

What would he think of all this? Would he be happy about it, or bitter? When last we were together, we were two Mute souls adrift on the wind. Now, if my mother was right, I possessed more magic than anyone alive . . . and he remained Mute. Would he still know me when all was said and done? Would he even want to?

I blinked away his face and stared at an ancient tome.

"I miss them." The words tumbled out before I realized I was speaking.

"You should tell them that sometime. You've kept yourself apart for too long." órla's voice snapped me out of the moment. That she knew what I had been thinking failed to register.

"You're right, but I wouldn't even know where to start. I said so many things to Keelan last time we were together. And Atikus. Spirits, I was so . . . angry. I hurt them, órla. I'm not sure they'd even want to be missed by me now."

"Declan, that might be the dumbest thing you've ever said, and you say a lot of really dumb things." She winged her way up to my shoulder. "They love you. They will always love you, no matter how stupid you are."

"I think my mother's right. You have the humble thing covered." I reached up and rubbed between her wings, chuckling as her eyes rolled back in pleasure and a coo-purr escaped.

A couple of hours later, we sat around ( on , in órla's case) the table in Kels?'s kitchen. Remnants of vegetables and cleaned bones littered our plates. The endless pitcher of wine sat in the center, challenging me to find its bottom, as everyone sat in silence, enjoying the peace that only comes following a good meal at the end of a long day.

Kels? broke the silence. "Tell me about your brother. You were both so small when I saw you last."

I stared into my wine. "What would you like to know?"

"Everything. What kind of man is he now? I only know the pieces fed to me by the Arch Mage over the years, and that was never very much."

"Well, he's tall—really, really tall—and he started training with the Guardsmen who protect the guild when we were little, so he's grown muscular. Honestly, he looks like he should be one of those statues you'd see outside a palace—the idyllic warrior with his sword raised, poised to protect everyone from everything. Add his sharp blue-and-gold Guard uniform, and the statue would be complete." I hadn't meant for bitterness to seep into my voice.

"I know what he looks like. The Well is a spyglass, remember? "

"Right, sorry."

She took a sip. "He's an investigator?"

I spat a laugh. "No. He's not an investigator. He's the investigator."

I refilled my cup and took a long pull. "Early in his career, he solved a series of crimes that had stumped the Guard. The papers ran with it, hailing him as the greatest investigator of our time. His Gift made it impossible for anyone to hide from his questioning, fueling even more success. He's twenty-six now and already one of the highest ranking officers in the Guard. I don't think there's anything he's ever touched that didn't turn to gold."

"But what is he like . . . as a person?"

I ran a hand through my hair and scratched my scalp. "We've spent so little time together over the past few years, I don't know. I guess we got to know each other a little on the mountain before we split up. He seemed stern, inside his head a lot, always thinking; but there's a gentleness, a kindness to him, too. He wants things to be perfect all the time and thinks he can protect everyone from everything—or at least he tries to. Now and then, he let the old Keelan out, the one with the goofy sense of humor. That never went over so well with the boys in the Academy, but he always made me laugh. He's tough and quiet but commands attention and respect. I don't know. He's hard to explain."

"He sounds like a good man. "

I couldn't meet her gaze, and my voice was a broken whisper when I spoke.

"He's the best man I've ever known. I could only hope to be like him one day."

She reached up and cupped my cheek with her hand, then smiled when my eyes rose. We searched each other for a long moment, each looking for something different, pleading in our own way.

Kels? finally pulled her hand back. "You're probably tired. Let's get some rest and start early in the morning."