Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Alistair

Why does this girl insist on trying to endear herself to me?

She gasps at the sight of my living room and the downstairs kitchen on our way to the pool, stopping to gawk and turn in slow circles. Stumbling into furniture because she’s so distracted by the chandeliers mounted to the high ceilings. I don’t like the way my chest tightens over these things. It’s odd and alarming.

Who is this girl?

I want to know everything about her, down to her blood type, but at the same time, I’m terrified of knowing too much. Making her too real to me. I’m already way outside of my comfort zone having her in my home for the night. I told myself I just wanted to fuck her, but here I am, giving her a tour of my house. Needing to see her swimming. Wanting to give her this thing she’s been deprived of.

Those urges are a warning sign that this girl is creeping into uncharted territory. I learned a long time ago that personal attachments are a weakness. A desire for affection, connection with another person, only leads to disappointment. So I need to remind her that’s not going to happen—and remind myself in the process. It’s for both of our own good.

We walk into the downstairs solarium and the evening lights go on automatically, turning the pool to an iridescent shade of green, illuminating the greenery surrounding the oval shaped pool. A touch of humidity lingers in the air, so I start to loosen my collar, my actions pausing to take in Shelby’s reaction.

“Your pool is inside?” Her green eyes sparkle with wonder, hands clasped beneath her chin. “This…this is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever been.”

Jesus.

For me, it’s her.

She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

I’m being jabbed in the throat by an invisible object.

This won’t do. This isn’t good.

“Come here,” I order, crooking a finger at her.

My rough tone causes her to jolt a little, but she closes the distance between us, stopping in between me and the edge of the pool. Bathed in the greenish glow of the pool, she’s somehow become even more enchanting, but I ignore the pressing impulse to kiss the girl, turning her around instead and unzipping her dress.

“What are you doing?” she asks breathily.

“You’re not going to swim in clothes, are you?”

“Um. I, um…”

“No. You’re not.” I peel the damp garment down past her shoulders, groaning inwardly at the perfect slope of her bare back, the indent of her spine, the swell of her hips as I drag the dress over them, revealing an ass that turns my cock to fucking lead. Never in history has there been a more exquisitely formed human. The nude-colored thong is buried between her butt cheeks, as if it wants inside that asshole as badly as my dick does.

Nothing can stop my palms from skimming up her sides, watching goosebumps prickle her skin as I cup her tits from behind, kneading them firmly, the swell of her nipples against my palms nearly causing me to ejaculate.

Absently, I notice the housekeeper entering the pool area with the towel and robe I requested, but I make no move to stop touching Shelby, who sucks in a breath at the intrusion and tries to push away my hands.

No way that’s happening. I draw her back against me and massage her sweet breasts with twice as much possession. “This is my house. I do whatever I want inside of it.” I place my hot, open mouth on the side of her neck, feel her shiver. “Didn’t I warn you I was a bastard, Shelby?”

“Alistair?” she whispers shakily.

I strum her perked-up nipples, stepping forward to tuck that tight ass of hers into my lap, humping it slowly, groaning. “Yes?”

“Are we…is this sex?” Color rides up the back of her neck into her blonde hair. “Are we having sex right now?”

I’m stunned into silence, my hands stilling. “Are you serious?”

“I know it usually happens in the dark.” Her words rush out in a tangle. “But it could happen in the light, right? Whatever it is.”

It takes a lot of willpower to stop playing with her gorgeous set of tits, but I drop my hands away, turning her around to face me. The pretty flush in her cheeks makes it difficult to swallow and again, that warning siren goes off in my mind. But I have to ignore it for now, because it appears this girl I picked up on the side of the road is completely ignorant of intercourse. Jesus. Does it make me sick to be turned on knowing I’ll be the first man to give her pleasure?

“Shelby, believe me. You’ll know when we’re having sex,” I say for her ears alone, waiting for Pauline to leave the room before continuing. Taking Shelby’s hand in mine, I guide it down to my cock, hissing a breath when she feels me out of curiosity. “You’ll know because that is going to be inside of you.” I transfer her touch to the seam of her panties, rubbing her fingers there and listening to her whimper. “Here, baby. I’ll be deep inside this.”

She exhales in a rush. “My…m-my mother didn’t tell me. She must have assumed I knew…”

“Maybe she planned to have the talk soon. Maybe she thought there was time.” I press her fingers to her clit, teasing it through her panties. “She couldn’t have known you were going to run into the devil on the side of the road.”

“Stop saying you’re the devil,” she gasps, eyes glazing over.

“It’s true,” I growl, shoving a hand into her panties and gripping her pussy. “But this is going to bring me to heaven for a while, isn’t it?”

Struggling to breathe, Shelby pushes away from me, looking like she’s going to run. Christ, I wouldn’t even blame her. I’m being an outright motherfucker to this sweet angel. But she has to know, dammit. There is nothing here for her. I’m a vessel that is only designed to carry hate. And yet, I think if she runs, I’ll chase her and apologize. I don’t understand what the hell she’s doing to me.

Before I can guess her intentions, she turns and jumps into the swimming pool. Her blonde hair reaches up toward the surface, her limbs slipping through the water gracefully, making her look more ethereal than ever. I can still feel the shape of her pussy in my hand and with an urgent sound, I rub that palm against the distended fly of my pants, on the verge of coming just thinking about Shelby in my bed, her thighs spread for my enjoyment. God, I’m going to—”

Why hasn’t she come back up yet?

My heart misses a beat and begins to speed out of control. She’s been under the surface for how long? A good twenty seconds? Edging toward thirty? She mentioned a community pool where she lives but never said if she could swim. What if she usually only wades in the shallow end? My entire pool is ten feet deep.

“Shelby,” I shout, already stripping off my shirt. Shoes are kicked off and I’m diving into the water, fear icing my veins. Adrenaline propels me toward her. I don’t hesitate to wrap an arm around her middle and kick for the surface, already anticipating mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Why didn’t I ask her if she could swim? I did this, by trying to drive home how irredeemable I am. She had to jump into the fucking water just to get away from me.

We reach the edge of the pool and I place her carefully on the side, climbing out after her, kneeling down on the cold stone, dizzy with worry. “Dammit, Shelby.” With unsteady hands, I tilt her head back, getting ready to blow breath into her lungs. “I’m sorry. Don’t do this to me.”

She peeks one eye open and smiles, whispering so low I almost can’t hear her over the pounding of my pulse. “Uh oh.” Pool water rolls down her temples. “Caught you being a good man again.”

Shock sweeps me. Followed by relief like I’ve never known.

Then, there’s respect I reserve for a worthy adversary.

And lastly, it’s anger.

How dare she expose me like this? I don’t even know what she’s going to find if she peels back another layer and that absolutely cannot be allowed to happen. It’s time to push her away once and for all. I can’t risk another second of her expecting me to be good. To be the kind of man who saves people—or even gives a shit. When a man cares about someone, it’s only a matter of time before that person deserts him. Before the business of feelings blows up in his face.

“I’m not a good man. You want to find that out the hard way? Fine by me,” I say stiffly, standing up and reaching down to fist a large section of her blonde hair, pulling her, gasping, up onto her knees, then to her feet. Guiding her without gentleness toward a row of lounge chairs and pushing her down into a seated position at the end of one, refusing to acknowledge the voice in the back of my head, telling me to stop. That I will regret what I’m about to do. “Open your brat mouth for my cock,” I say hoarsely, unzipping my pants. “Mommy didn’t tell you about sex? You’re about to get an education.”

Despite my harsh orders, I’m surprised to find her watching me pull down my zipper with eager eyes, her tongue gliding along her bottom lip to wet it quickly. Is she…excited? What is it going to take to make this girl despise me? I brought her here, confident I could seduce her with my wealth, spend the night fucking her and part ways in the morning without getting tangled up. Why won’t she cooperate?

I take out my dick, raking it side to side over her lush mouth, then push the stiff flesh between her lips, not giving her a chance to brace herself or breathe. My groan echoes off the walls of the pool room, my fingers burrowing into her wet hair. The picture she makes, innocent eyes on me, mouth stretching around my shaft, almost undoes me completely. So much so that I have to concentrate on not filling her mouth with spend before I’ve gotten more than halfway in.

“This would have been a hard conversation to have with Mommy, huh?” I hold her head steady and sink deeper, my balls already beginning to tingle. “This is what men think about when they look at you. The postman, your grandfatherly neighbor. They smile and make small talk with you, but they all just want it sucked.”

Unbelievably, I watch her hands travel up her bare thighs, toward the drenched thong that is now second skin on her pussy, leaving zero to the imagination. Her fingertips brush back and forth on her inner thighs, her mouth beginning to take me in earnest, her lips testing me, sliding up and down, a feminine moan building in her throat.

Her hands find her tits next, watching me through her eyelashes while she rolls her distended nipples in her palms, her chest beginning to heave.

“Oh shit,” I mutter thickly, devouring the sight. “Oh my God.”

I’m barely conscious of thrusting into her sexy mouth, faster, faster, fucking between her plump lips, the pleasure so enormous my spine twists top to bottom, making my vision go double. Oh fuck. What is happening? I meant to punish her with this blow job. Take what I needed, selfishly, the way I do everything else.

Instead, we’re in it together.

Working feverishly toward pleasure. Mine, mainly, since I’m hammering at her hot little mouth and she’s taking most of me, bobbing her head in this incredible rhythm we’ve designed without saying a word.

With her knowing eyes on me, I’m stripped bare, vulnerable. There is nothing to protect me from what this girl makes me feel—and I lash out. Goddamn me, I can’t help but ruin the perfect moment out of sheer self-preservation.

Fisting her hair roughly, I push deeper than I think she can stand. “If you’re not choking, little girl, you’re doing it wrong.”

Shelby coughs around my dick, her eyes tearing, but I get no pleasure out of it. In fact, in the moment, I hate myself more than I hate the world.

Shame is like a manacle around my neck as I pull out, stumbling away from her expression of dismay. Betrayal. I zip and button my rampant erection back into my dress pants. I can think of nothing to say. Everything sounds wrong on my tongue, no apology that would be good enough. I all but forced this innocent girl to give me pleasure and she was kind-hearted enough to forgive me, to participate and enjoy it, even though she’s innocent of men.

God.

My family was right to leave me on the side of the road and never come back.

Swiping a hand across my sweaty lip, I stride from the room before I can do something completely self-destructive like hold her, kiss her, ask her to teach me how to be good. Such a thing is impossible.