12. Catherine

12

CATHERINE

T he entire day is filled with a bunch of nerves that seem alight and heightened just underneath my skin. My cottage roof is done, the Raki having been true to his word and completing it the day before. My barn roof is done, too. Varek completed it in record time.

Both things should make me happy. Should have me feeling much more secure and stable. Should reduce some of the stress now that I literally have a roof over my head. But they don't. Because the moment I woke, my heart was beating unnaturally. And when I opened my door and found the bunch of pretty flowers there, that unnatural unsteady beat only increased.

Varek is nowhere to be seen, but his truck is by the gate. And the flowers, well, the flowers didn't just deliver themselves.

I should put them down. I shouldn't accept them. Shouldn't encourage this, whatever it is. I certainly shouldn't bring them to my nose. Certainly shouldn't sniff them.

They're lovely, their sweet scents flowing into my nose along with the morning air. And they're beautiful too. Large petals in pastel hues that make them seem more like a painting than real things. Fighting the twinge of warmth starting in my gut, I head back inside and place the flowers in some water before getting dressed for the day.

I choose a pair of trousers this time—the only one I have. It looks similar to the one Varek wears and I'm pretty certain it was meant for a male twice my size because I have to use a long strip of linen to grab the waist and tie it so it doesn't just slide off my frame.

I tie my hair back into a ponytail too, pausing just in front of my reflection in the mirror as I take myself in. No makeup. Not even a stain of that powder I'd found and mixed with a bit of cooking oil to make the lipstick I'd tried yesterday. Embarrassment fills me again at the thought of it. What was I even doing? Trying to look pretty for him when I know that he and I can never be? Seems counterproductive.

Squaring my shoulders, I remind myself of why I'm here. For peace. I signed up for the Initiative for peace…and this is turning into chaos.

Heading outside, I close the door behind me as I march toward the barn. That's when I hear the undeniable hum of a machine. I halt, turning slowly as I try to figure out where the sound is coming from. Following my ears, they lead me around the cottage and toward the field. I don't need my ears to help me now because I can see. I can see the light reflect off the iridescent scales of the alien riding a massive machine across my field.

I'm dumbstruck as I draw closer.

Half my field has been cleared, great bales of hay rolled and stacked in the center. I can just see the heads of several oogas who are hiding in what's left of the tall grass, probably scared by the noise. My gaze shifts from them and my mouth falls open as I watch Varek clear a large swathe before he spins the machine in my direction, cutting another line as he heads my way.

The moment my gaze shifts upward, I know he's seen me. Even from the distance, those intense eyes eat me up. There's no reason for it—I'm damn well over whatever made me weak—but my cheeks heat anyway.

The sun's rays reflect off his scales like he's signed a contract with the star, the warm glow lighting him up in all the right places, casting shadows across the muscles in his chest, highlighting the contour of his jaw, his prominent brow. I don't know where to look, where to focus. My eyes rove over him even though I'm telling myself I should look away. Because, damn it, purple really is my favorite color.

I watch as he cuts the line he's working on before turning the machine and heading the other way. His back turned to me now, I get a moment to breathe. Goodness, this is going to be harder than I thought. Going to bed the night before, I'd convinced myself that by morning, whatever had come over me—over him—would have washed away and we'd have both come to our senses. Turns out I'm wrong. The machine hums, bumping along, its large wheels rolling over the ground and leaving flat earth in its wake. It's like a huge lawn mower with serrated teeth at the front, each row grabbing the tall grass while some other mechanism turns them into square bales that are left behind.

It looks vaguely familiar. The serrated teeth I'd seen leaning on the back wall of the barn. The arms that set the bales down I recognize as parts I'd seen lying behind the cottage. And I soon realize the machine itself is one I thought was out of service, parked just inside the gate within another small outbuilding.

He put the pieces together in a way I could have never known to do on my own. I watch as he turns the machine once more, heading down the row in my direction. My breath hitches, and I wait for him to complete the row he's mowing before spinning the machine in the other direction again. He doesn't. Instead, he keeps coming down the line.

I blink, my heart stuttering somewhat as he comes closer. Thank God the rumble of the machine drowns out any other sound, because I'm pretty sure I'm screaming loud enough inside for it to be audible.

The machine slows down, the powerful engine vibrating as Varek comes to a stop.

As he leans back in the seat of the machine, one muscular arm draped casually over the steering wheel, his gaze eats me up. Shifting from my face down the loose tunic I'm wearing as a blouse then down to the dark pants I've pulled on this morning.

I'm completely modest. Completely covered. And yet, my skin heats under his roving gaze as if I'm dressed in nothing but my underwear.

But he isn't the only one that's looking. I'd be a liar if I didn't admit I'm looking too. That despite myself, my gaze shifts over him as he sits so casually, so relaxed as if he's meant to be there. As if this is just any other morning, a routine that isn't out of place in our daily lives.

He looks like something out of a fantasy. A warrior god plucked straight from the pages of a romance novel. The sight of him, so strong and capable and undeniably masculine, sends a shiver down my spine that has nothing to do with the morning chill. I push back against it and it remains still. My body betrays me as something within me lights up, pushing back against that barrier I'm so desperately trying to hold in place.

Varek's gaze meets mine, and even from this distance, I can feel the heat of his gaze. It's intense, almost predatory, and yet there's a softness there, too. A tenderness that makes my heart warm in a way I thought I'd forgotten how to feel.

He shifts in his seat, the movement making the muscles in his chest and arms flex beneath his taut, gleaming skin. Doesn't he wear clothes? Shirts I mean. It's distracting and I force myself to blink in an effort to pull myself away. But the effect is hypnotic, and I find myself staring, my mouth going dry as I try to remember how to breathe.

This is ridiculous, Catherine. It really is.

I'm a grown woman, one who was the top of her game back on Earth, not some starry-eyed teenager. I shouldn't be getting weak in the knees over a bit of eye candy, no matter how incredibly attractive that eye candy might be. And especially because I have rules! Rules I've set for myself to follow. Morals I'm set to abide by.

But as Varek continues to watch me, his lips curving into a smile that's equal parts promise and invitation, I can't deny the effect he has on me. The way my pulse races and my stomach flutters, the heat that pools low in my belly and spreads through my veins like wildfire.

It's scary. This… feeling . I haven't allowed myself to even contemplate the possibility of desire, of want. Perhaps that's why the force of simply his gaze is so staggering, almost frightening in its intensity.

He tilts his head, his smile widening into an almost rakish grin. "Good dawn, Catherine," he calls out, his deep voice carrying easily over the purr of the machine. "I trust your rest was well?"

There's a knowing glint in his eye, a hint of mischief that tells me he's well aware of the effect he's having on me. And damn him, but it only makes him more attractive.

I clear my throat, trying to regain some semblance of composure. "I did, thank you," I manage, proud of how steady my voice sounds. "And you? I see you've been busy." Even though we haven't even discussed what this contract is between us. Somehow, my tongue doesn't move to bring that up.

Varek chuckles, the sound low and rich and far too seductive for my peace of mind. "Hard work is the best way to start the sol," he says, his gaze never leaving mine. "I couldn't rest, knowing there was so much to be done."

The implication is clear, the subtext unmistakable. He's not just talking about the field, and we both know it.

I swallow hard, my fingers curling into fists at my sides as I fight the urge to close the distance between us. To reach out and touch him, to see if his skin is still as warm and smooth as it looks.

But I can't. I won't . Not when I know that this, whatever it is, can only lead to heartache.

So instead, I force a smile, hoping it looks more convincing than it feels. "Well, I appreciate your help, Varek. Truly. But you don't have to do all this. I'm sure you have more important things to attend to."

He frowns, his brow furrowing in a way that shouldn't be nearly as endearing as it is. "There is nothing more important than ensuring your comfort and happiness, Catherine. Surely you must know that by now."

My breath catches, my heart stuttering in my chest at the raw sincerity in his words. The way he looks at me, like I'm the only thing in the universe that matters. The little footing I had feels torn right from under me.

"You…"

"Ah, but you don't know. That's why I promised to show you."

I blink at him, my eyelids fluttering. It's too much. Too intense. Too real. I'm not ready for this, not ready to face the depth of emotion in his eyes.

So I do the only thing I can.

I run.

I give him a slight nod. Waving a hand in the direction of the barn, I mutter something about having things to do, even though my mind goes blank as to what I had planned for this morning. It certainly wasn't this.

Backing away, I catch that same delicious little grin on Varek's lips before he engages the machine again and turns it.

I stop walking when the threat of his gaze is no longer sending alarm bells all across my being. Watching the machine move down the line, I release a slow breath.

Darn him. He's turning out to be a real problem. But what's worse, what's truly terrifying, is the confidence that bleeds from him. As if he knows his attempts will be fruitful.

A shiver runs down my spine as I realize the truth: I'm scared he will actually succeed. His unwavering confidence, the way he looks at me like he's already won, it all makes me doubt my own resolve. I'm not sure I'm strong enough to keep him away, not sure I have the willpower to resist the definite pull that's growing towards him.

As he makes his way down the line, I watch him go, my thoughts a convoluted mess. As he turns the machine and heads back my way, it's the sound of an ooga baying over the sound of the machine that finally pulls my focus. My gaze flicks to the animals hiding in the tall grass a split second before about seven of them dash out from their hiding spot.

Varek slows down, but the animals keep going, heading straight to the perimeter fence. My eyes are wide as I watch them, expecting them to stop when they get to the other side of the field, but they don't.

As Varek rises from his seat, a shout on his lips that echoes across the plains, I realize just what's happening. The animals are like balls of muscle and hooves as they fight to get away from the machine. And one does. I don't know how it gets out, probably because the creatures targeted the exact spot that ooga had gotten stuck in that first day Varek came to my assistance, but an ooga squeezes through, rushing across the grass on the other side, it's loud squeals piercing over the commotion of the others.

My heart seizes. It's a baby. That's the only reason it managed to squeeze through and the terror of the others has only made it more frightened.

I'm moving without a second thought, even as I hear Varek cut the engine of the machine. I have to stop the little animal. It's heading this way but I don't think it will stop. That means it will go straight toward a nest of trees a way off. There, a set of animals that have never come close to my farm in the month I've been here are resting.

They're tall, with long necks. Like diplodocus dinosaurs mixed with giraffes. I don't know if they're even friendly. They're wild and the little baby is so panicked, it's heading the wrong way.

Somehow, I hoist myself over the fence. I fall on my ass, hip, and arm all at once, pain shooting through my bum and the wind knocked out of me. All my muscles protest, that little spot of adrenaline fading fast. For a moment, I don't know where is up or down, but I'm on the other side of the fence, at least. That's when something runs straight past me. The baby ooga. Its screams ring in my ears, louder than ever as I crawl to my knees, intent on chasing after it even though my heart is pounding in my chest.

The tall, giraffe-like creatures are only a few meters away now, their eyes wide and alert as they watch the commotion. I have no idea how they'll react to the baby ooga barreling towards them, and I don't want to find out.

"Stop! Please, stop!" I scream, my voice hoarse and desperate. The baby ooga doesn't seem to hear me, or if it does, it's too frightened to stop. It's almost at the trees now, and I push myself to run. I'm not fast by any means. At this rate, I might as well do a power walk, but I push through the tall grass anyway.

I don't think I'll make it. Don't think I'll save the little thing. But then a miracle happens. The little creature changes direction, heading off back toward my right.

My lungs burning with the effort, I dive after it, just a moment before I see one of the dinosaur animals rise from where it was resting.

"Catherine, watch out!" Varek is somewhere behind me, his voice carrying a note of warning that sends a chill down my spine.

I glance over my shoulder and see him running my way, his powerful legs eating up the distance between us, just as I fall into the grass with a thud. Ouch! My shoulders hurt but there's something underneath my palm. I'm gripping thick hide and I realize it's the little creature's thigh. I've caught the child! But it's wriggling, squealing, intent on rejecting my assistance. I'm going to lose my hold and those dinosaur things are coming. I have to do more. I have to try.

With a burst of strength I didn't know I had in me, I lunge forward, my fingers stretching out, grasping for the ooga's little tail. For a heart-stopping moment, I think I've missed, that my hand will close on empty air.

But then, miraculously, I feel the thrashing appendage beneath my palm. I clench my fist, holding on for dear life as the ooga squeals and kicks up dirt, trying to break free.

I'm dragged on the ground, even as I try to get more of a grip on little thing's midsection. My injured shoulder screams and I bite back the pain as I gain some purchase to wrap my arms around the struggling thing. It's strong for a baby, so much stronger than I anticipated, and for a moment, I'm afraid it will escape my grasp.

But then Varek is there.

"Frakk," he curses. "Catherine, I have to touch you." It's the only warning I get before his large claws join my hands, his muscular arms encircling us both. He holds the ooga tight, pulling the animal against my belly as he pulls me against him.

Staggered breaths leave me as my entire back is enclosed by his thick frame. His grip is firm but gentle, and slowly, gradually, the little creature begins to calm. It begins to calm, but I do not.

I'm panting, my heart racing so fast I'm afraid it might burst. But as I look down at the ooga in my arms, its wide eyes staring up at me with a mix of fear and curiosity, I feel a rush of relief so powerful it makes me dizzy.

"It's okay," I murmur as I try to pull my thoughts from the complete velvety hardness that's pressed against me. "You're safe now. It's okay."

Varek shifts behind me, his chest pressing against my back as he leans down to examine the ooga. "It appears unharmed," he says, his deep voice rumbling through me. "You got to it just in time."

I nod, swallowing hard past the lump in my throat. "I couldn't let it…I had to…" I breathe out, forcing my beating heart to calm. But all seems well with the world again. The oogas on my property no longer seem panicked. The sun is still shining. A soft breeze is blowing. It's paradise again.

"You did well, Catherine," Varek says softly, his breath warm against my ear. I stiffen, completely aware of him once more. "So brave and quick."

His praise washes over me, making me flush with a mix of pride and something else, something warm and fluttery that I wish would not present itself. Not when I'm so acutely aware of his proximity, of the way his body envelops mine, strong and solid and achingly masculine.

I turn my head slightly, meeting his gaze. His pupils are so wide his eyes are almost dark, intense, swirling with emotions I can't quite decipher.

For a long moment, we just stare at each other, my chest still heaving and every breath he takes making those muscles shift against my back. It's like the world suddenly falls away, leaving only him and me and this fragile, precious thing cradled in my arms.

My gaze falls to his lips and Varek goes still. He leans a little closer. So close if I simply moved, our lips would brush. I swallow hard, staring at him. Because I want to. And I shouldn't.

The ooga stirs, letting out a soft grunt, and the spell is broken. Reality crashes back in, and with it, all the reasons I can't let myself get lost in Varek's eyes, in his touch, in the way he's making me feel.

"We should…we should get this little one back to his mama," I whisper, every word of mine brushing past the alien's lips.

"Yes," he replies, still so so close.

I swallow hard again, finally turning away. As I try to rise, Varek slowly releases me.

"Shh," he makes the sound in his throat as he moves around me to grab the little ooga, his gaze shifting to the long-necked animals not too far from us now.

Rising to my feet, I brush my pants off as I look at them, too. They're large, dwarfing me, even dwarfing Varek, and I take a step back, not sure what to expect.

"Dangerous?" I whisper, gaze shifting to Varek for a moment.

"Not usually," he replies. "They're called tilgrans. Usually friendly, but these are wild. Best to head back to the farm just to be sure."

"Right." I nod, shaking off the tension that feels like it's rising in my blood as I head back toward my perimeter fence. When I look back, I notice Varek standing guard, like a sentinel between me and the tilgrans. When I'm a good distance away, he leaves his post and jogs to catch me up.

"I apologize, sura. This was my fault."

I look up at him, a smile of satisfaction at having caught the little animal on my lips. His gaze falls to my mouth immediately.

"It was the machine. They're not used to it anymore. I should have put them in the outbuilding first."

I shake my head, watching as he places the little animal on the right side of the perimeter fence. "It's okay. Don't worry about it." At once, the little ooga runs off the join the now quietly grazing herd.

I blow a breath through my nose. These animals are going to be a lot of work. But that's what I get for signing up to live on a farm. I'm still smiling when my gaze shifts to Varek again.

His gaze heightens on my lips once more.

"I will lift you."

My eyebrows shoot up and I'm about to tell him it's fine. Fine, because I probably can manage it on my own. But also fine, because the mere idea of his touch on my skin is already sending signals to my brain that are making something tingle in the pit of my gut.

But the fence is high. I'm not sure how I climbed over it in the first place.

"Okay, if you just—" A squeal leaves my lips as Varek lifts me off my feet. My arms wrap around his neck instinctively as he places me on the other side of the fence. My whole body tingles and my cheeks heat. I pretend to turn my attention to the animals as he hops easily over the fence post.

"I will herd them into the outbuilding. But I must prepare it first. It might take the entirety of the rest of the sol."

I nod. "That's a good idea. I will help."

"No."

My eyebrows shoot up, my gaze finally meeting his. "No?"

Varek takes a step closer, close enough that he eats up all the space, and all I can see, all I can smell is him. That sweet scent that makes me want to lean in and inhale deep, pressing my nose into his scales. The thought has my eyes widening slightly. The intensity of it making a feeling buzz between my legs.

I go still. I stop breathing.

"You must get ready," he says simply.

"Get ready?" My voice is almost breathless, but somehow I keep it steady. "Get ready for what?"

"The festival, sura." His gaze is hot. Intense. "We have a date, remember?"

The audacity of this man! He's grinning at me, fangs peeking through and his eyes sparkling with mischief and something else, something heated and provocative that sends a shiver down my spine.

I shake my head, trying to gather my scattered thoughts. "I'm not sure about the festival. I have so much to do and I'm behind."

Varek takes another step closer, and now there's no space left between us. His proximity sends a wave of heat through my body, and I have to fight the urge to lean into him.

"Just one dark cycle," he says softly, his voice a low rumble that sends a shiver down my spine. When no other words of protest spill from my lips, he makes a sound in his throat that sends a delicious tingle up my spine. "I'll take care of the oogas. I will knock when it's time."

I'm…speechless.

With that, he turns and heads toward the outbuilding, his movements sure and confident. I watch him go, my heart pounding in my chest, my mind a whirlwind of emotions I can't seem to control.