Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

DOM

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 2 P.M.

Something is wrong, but I can't put my finger on it. Actually, that's exactly what I can do. One minute, I'm in sync with Xander, and the next…my world is spinning. Like actually spinning.

It doesn't help that Xander changed the cupcakes we planned on making from maple bacon to salted caramel. The trick is getting the perfect amount of saltiness. Not easy. Why would we do this one now?

While Xander makes the batter and gets the cupcakes in the oven, I focus on the salted-caramel filling. When the sugar is a deep amber, I stir in the butter and add the heavy cream. I whisk the mixture, trying to get all the lumps out. My brother and I aren't in sync for the first time…ever, which has me on edge. Xander pulls the cupcakes out of the oven as I'm removing the filling from the heat so it can cool. I shake out my hands to get rid of the nervous energy.

"You okay?" Xander asks, wrapping his hand around my forearm. He normally avoids touching unless absolutely necessary, so this freaks me out a bit. The message, calm down, isn't a problem. I get that I need to take a fucking breath. It's the zap of electric current that stuns me. I'm not being dramatic here. I stop everything, darting a glance at my brother. He turns away, a slight blush on his olive complexion. Did he feel it too? Or is he reacting to the fact that we're going to lose this competition and possibly go home after the first day?

That shifts me into gear. This is important to Xander. I can't fuck it up. Xander fills the cupcakes as I focus on not getting the buttercream frosting too salty. The trick is to use one unsalted stick of butter and a salted one. I follow the steps we've done together a million times.

Things get better then. I focus on the frosting, not Xander's proximity or my body's weird reaction to him.

Muscle memory takes over. Routine takes over. Not wanting to disappoint my brother takes over. We get the cupcakes frosted just in time, and I take a breath. It should be good enough to move to the next round. Not that Xander has ever been happy with good enough. But I can talk him down. As long as we stay in the competition.

The judges taste our cupcakes and give each other looks I can't decipher. I push away my annoyance. This isn't Cupcake Wars. Or even the Chicago Baking Competition. This is Dunklin County, for fuck's sake.

I'm not usually a worrier, but I feel like I might be sick…wouldn't that ruin everything.

Xander doesn't look at me. He's too professional for that, but it's my fault, and we both know it. The consistency isn't perfect. What if they're too salty? God. If we go home because I messed up…my heart pounds faster as they go through each entry. Then, they confer for a few long minutes. Officially, I think they have five minutes for each team, but it feels much, much longer. Xander stands rigidly beside me. Eyes forward as they announce the winners.

Second place. That should keep us in the competition, at least. Xander doesn't relax, and I practice the words he needs to hear to get him out of his funk. Second place isn't bad. We're going forward.

We clean up after, and it's awkward. I can't remember a time when I've felt nervous around my brother. Is he really that upset? He's avoiding me. Trying not to touch me. Even more than normal. And the words I scribbled on his arm are gone.

"Xan—"

He shakes his head, a clear signal to wait. I clamp my lips shut and we finish in an uneasy silence. My skin is crawling in an itchy, what-the-fuck-is-happening way.

Xander leads us to the elevators for some reason, and I grab his arm to stop him. I jerk my hand away just as quickly because the electricity is back. Maybe it's the building. "We can take the stairs."

Xander hates elevators. It's the likelihood we'll be trapped with people and forced to interact.

His brow scrunches. "It's fine. You're acting weird."

I'm acting weird? It's on the tip of my tongue to say, but I swallow the words.

The elevator is larger than most, but that doesn't usually matter to my brother. Only a few people are in the back. Xander ignores them and moves to the side. I stand next to him, more aware of his presence next to me than I've ever been. The warmth from his body. The scent of his vanilla shampoo. The air feels heavy between us. Weighed down by something.

Which makes no sense at all.

Stop spiraling, Dom. That's Xander's thing . Am I just upset that I messed up? I grab onto the reason and hold tight.

The elevator voice announces the second floor and the door opens. People file out, but thankfully, no one is waiting to get on and the elevator door closes.

Leaving us completely alone. Which is normally when I'm the most relaxed. But the air around us is still supercharged. Thick. Making it difficult to breathe. What the fuck is happening? And how can I fix it?

"I'm sorry." The words burst out of me, shattering the quiet.

Xander gives me a nervous smile, but his voice is calm. "This isn't your fault. I lost focus?—"

"The consistency of the frosting was off," I say, shaking my head.

"All that matters is that we made it to the next round. At least that's what someone keeps telling me." His eyes crinkle in amusement, and I get lost for a second. His eyes are the same dark color they've always been, with the tints of gold I know so well, but something is different. Is it the fact that Xander never keeps eye contact this long, even with me? Or that he's amused? Or that he's comforting me—with my own words?

I open my mouth to argue and then stop. Instead, I nod, my throat clogged with an emotion I can't name.

"Everything's going to be fine," this new version of my brother says. "Don't worry so much."

"Fifth floor," the elevator announces, and the doors pop open. Xander gives me a reassuring smile before placing his hand on the back of my neck and squeezing. Then he walks out of the elevator as if he does that all the time. As if it's routine. As if he hasn't just shattered my world. My mind finally catches up with what my body has been shouting this entire time.

Others get on the elevator and Xander moves his head around them to catch my gaze. "Are you coming?"

I clear my throat. "I forgot something. I'll be right up."

The concern eases from his face. He nods and strolls away.

I crowd into the corner of the elevator. Not wanting to be close to anyone. Not caring where we're going.

The fighting in my head has begun without me. My mind shouting how can this be . My body not knowing the answer but acknowledging the truth.

Xander's hand on the back of my neck. The squeeze. Just thinking about it takes me back, and once again, my body reacts in a way it never has before. Not to my brother.

I'm embarrassingly and unequivocally hard.

What the fuck do I do now?

THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 17, 5 P.M.

I roam the convention center, trying to get my head on straight but really just avoiding my brother. Until the texts start coming in. All from Xander.

Xander:

Where are you?

What are you doing?

This isn't funny.

The last one makes me laugh. It's so Xander that I relax. No matter what, Xander is still my brother. Stress can cause your body to react in weird ways, right?

I'm not quite ready to face him, so I pull out the photo I took from my mother's office. I've been so busy with the competition and Xander that I forgot the other reason I set this up. To find out as much as possible about the woman in the picture. All I have is her first name and the date. Callie. The photo was taken three weeks before Xander and I were born. How does that help me? I wrack my brain, trying to remember if Mom ever talked about her.

I have no answers when I finally go up to the room to face Xander. He's standing at the kitchenette in our suite and glares at me when I enter the room. "Where have you been?"

"Checking out the competition." I did some of that so I could say I did since I'm not great at lying to my brother. My body is behaving, at least. No spontaneous erections.

Testing my body's reaction because I can't let anything go, I watch him take a bottle of water out of the tiny fridge and down it. Nothing. Thank fuck .

"Stop staring."

I laugh, feeling almost giddy with relief. "Were you thirsty? Jesus, Xander."

He side-eyes me. "Why are you acting weird?"

The suite has two bedrooms, a kitchenette, and a common area with a couch and a couple of armchairs. I slump onto the couch, suddenly tired.

He sits in one of the matching chairs across from me. "You were acting weird this afternoon too."

Oh God. He noticed. I drape my arms over my eyes. "Just let me die here. On the couch."

"Stop being dramatic…" Which is rich coming from him. But his pause catches my attention. "Are we going to the reception? I thought you'd want to celebrate making it in."

I sit up and stare at him. "You want to be around people? Who are you, and what have you done with my brother?" I'm only partly kidding at this point.

He stares at his hands. "If I want to take over for Mom, I need to be able to do that…eat around people. Be around people."

"True." My goal had been to eat alone. Avoid Xander. Which would make him suspicious. More suspicious. But I don't want to risk being alone with him for too long. What if my weird stuff returns? But going to the reception together would be perfect.

I know from experience Xander will have to take a shower. The man is obsessed with being clean. "Fine. Wake me when you're ready."

A half-hour later, Xander clears his throat. He doesn't touch me, but that's normal. I jump up, not wanting to risk it. I've had enough testing for one day.

But when I stop at the elevator, he puts his hand on my back and guides me toward the stairs. "No way. One breakthrough at a time." Which seems weird when he took the elevator earlier.

My body has no reaction to his touch, and I sigh in relief. It was a fluke. Nothing to worry about. Just one of those things. My muscles relax, and I feel lighter. I wasn't even aware of how keyed up I'd been.

As we make our way to the dining area, I make a plan. Drink plenty of water with dinner. Take a relaxing shower before bed. Get at least eight hours of sleep tonight.

And maybe a quick jerk-off session to my favorite porn video.

Anything to keep my body happy.

I can't risk this ever happening again.