Chapter Five

After making love to Rath and fucking Xae, then, fucking Rath, the men fell asleep. I was still awake. And hungry. That's when I remembered the basket.

“Custard buns!” I whispered as I slipped out of bed.

The pastries had made it through the tumble unscathed, just a little jumbled in their box. I scooped them up along with the flowers, shoving everything back into the basket. Then I crept out to the front room with my loot. Smiling at the prospect of a mouth full of cream—from the custard buns, of course—I sat down at our little dining table and set the basket before me.

I unloaded everything, finding a bag of hard candy in addition to the flowers and buns. Then, at the bottom of the basket, a letter. I sighed when I saw the folded parchment. I used to get excited every time I received one of Vexen's letters, but after our fight, I wasn't sure if I was in the mood to read whatever he'd put in this one.

I took a fortifying bite of bun first.

I unfolded the letter and scanned it. Then I read more slowly.

Ember,

I'm sorry that I lost my temper and said some things that I shouldn't have. But I won't apologize for knowing my clan and trying to do what was best for everyone. I'm sure they'll accept you after they are slowly introduced to the idea that humans are not the villains they believe them to be. Please, try to be more patient. I went back and spoke to Rahu about you. He was calm and receptive to a relationship between us after having time to think about it. That's when I gathered the flowers for you.

I may have reacted poorly, but I don't think I was alone in that. If this is what ends us, you're not the man I thought you were, and it's best for me to learn that now. But if you are my Ember, forgive me as I have already forgiven you.

Also, the custard buns and candy are for you. The meat pie is for the others.

Vex

“He signed it Vex,” I murmured. “Well, it was a partial apology. And maybe I did show off a bit. They just made me so mad. Ladrin killed my parents, but I got over it. I'm even bonded to one.” I grimaced at the bag of candy, then took another bite of bun. “Vex really does know me. Those strawberry candies are my favorites. And I never told him that. Shit. Now, I'm talking to myself.” I snorted a laugh. “At least Death isn't here to listen and butt in.” I lowered the bun to the table. “No, he's too busy consuming Ara.”

And then I was crying. Really weeping. Gasping into it. Trying to keep from waking up Xae and Rath. I realized it was the first time I'd cried since my failed attempt to save Aranren. I had cried then, but afterward, I'd sort of smacked myself around, a little like Vex had done, and told myself to fucking get my emotions under control. To get stronger, not weaker. Because it was the only way to save Ara.

But, just as I told Vex, I needed to be weak sometimes. I needed to feel. And it felt good to cry. To acknowledge that my life had taken a rough turn amid all the greatness. Things had been so simple before. And then I became a wraith lord. I learned that I was fated to end the war, and I had thought that meant ending the Corrupter. It did, but not in the way I assumed.

Now, I wanted to save him. It was particularly rough because, unlike the other parts of the war, there was very little action involved in saving Ara. I mean, there would have been some sexual action if Vex had been, oh, anyone else. But that was the only action I could take toward freeing Ara. At least currently. Sure, I could go to his fortress and demand to see the Corrupter. I could confront Death. But then what? It wouldn't accomplish anything. I had to find a way to free Ara from Death's spiritual cage before I could physically free him.

I sobbed some more, sliding off the chair to curl up on the floor. My time with Aranren danced through my head—all the good and bad moments. The experiences that had brought us close. We fell in love despite Death's attempts at forcing us into it. And it was more than shared trauma. More than the brotherhood of fighting a common enemy or being prisoners together. It was real. We had found something beautiful amid all that death.

And Death had taken it away from us.

Why? Why did this entity even care about the races of Varr? Why did he bother with possessing Aranren? Why torture so many people and kill so many more? Death had once told me that people fascinated him. But it had to be more than that. More than the boredom of a god. Not that he was a god. He was either delusional or a liar because the Goddess said he was only energy, and I believed her.

With a gasp, I sat up. “It's her. The Goddess. Death tried to make it seem as if she hated him, but it's the other way around. He hates her. This is a vendetta. A personal war against the Goddess. He's hurting her through us. Because she loves us.”

A shimmer of warmth entered my chest and settled in, soothing my pain, but also offering me assurance. Hope.

“Thank you,” I whispered, looking up, though I didn't know where the Goddess was in relation to me. “I'm sorry I let him deceive me.”

Another embrace of warm energy came, and I remembered what I had already figured out—I had to walk that path so I could meet the real Aranren. Which meant that I would save him. It was certain. I wouldn't have been led to Ara if I wasn't meant to save him. And that comforted me even more than the touch of the Goddess.

“I know you're looking after him, but please, let him know that I still love him, and I'm not giving up.”

The energy withdrew, but I knew she'd visited Ara just as she had me. I knew because, seconds later, I felt a shiver from Aranren down our bond—a shiver of love.