Chapter Thirty-Three

When I woke up, everything seemed perfect for a few blissful heartbeats. Then I remembered Ara. I saw his face again, as he had looked at me during that last battle in Fress. He told me to run. I opened my eyes and promptly narrowed them. Why did he tell me to run?

“I can feel you thinking,” Vex said as he slid an arm around my waist. “And I mean that literally. You're upset, but there's something else.”

I turned to face him. “Our bond didn't wake you up, did it? You should only feel me like that when you focus on me or during sex.”

“No.” He brushed his lips over mine. “I woke up and felt your tension, so I focused on you. So, what has you upset?”

“I'm wondering about something Aranren said,” I admitted. “He told me to run.”

“Of course. He didn't think you were strong enough to engage Death. And he was right.”

“Maybe.” I squished up my face. “But why that phrase? Why tell me to run instead of telling me I wasn't ready yet? It doesn't seem like Ara. He looked frightened.”

Vexen made a pensive sound. “If he was warning you off because of something Death had planned, wouldn't it have happened? You attacked him. Death could have struck back.”

“He did strike back,” I murmured. “But it took him some time to gather the strength to blast me out of Ara.” I frowned and sat up. “Why would it take so long?”

Vex sat up as well. “What do you mean?”

“If he was strong enough to blast my wraith out of Aranren, why did he wait so long to do it? He was in pain. I was winning. I nearly had Ara free.”

“I think you answered your own question. He wasn't strong enough. Not at first. As you said, he had to gather his power. Like casting a spell, I imagine.”

“I don't know. Yes, you're making sense. It all seems right. But in my chest, something feels off.” I chewed at my lower lip. “I think he took his time on purpose. I think Death let me tear apart his cage.”

“Why would he do that?” Vex asked.

“There's only one reason I can think of—to learn. He was studying me. What I was doing. Trying to see what I knew.” I blinked. “He knows.” I slammed my hand down on the blanket. “He fucking knows!”

“Easy now, Ember.” Vex stroked my back. “He knows what?”

“About the Elements. He knows they're helping me.”

Vex shrugged. “He was bound to find out.”

“No, you don't understand. When Death engages mentally with me, we get drawn to another plane of existence.”

“The astral plane,” Air said. “Where magic begins and takes root before growing into the physical.”

I flinched and growled, “Damn it, Air! Warn us before you join a conversation.”

“Sorry. But I agree with you, Ember.”

“About what?” Vex asked. “I still don't understand what you're saying.”

“I can see Ara as he truly is on the astral plane,” I said. “I see him caged in bones.”

“Death is bones on that plane?” Vexen grimaced. “How unoriginal.”

“You expect Death to take another form?” Fire snorted. “That would be like asking me to show up as an unattractive woman.”

“Oh, sweet Goddess,” I muttered. “That's how he knew. Death must have seen all of you in the astral plane.”

“No, Ember,” Earth said. “Only you could see us. If Death saw anything, it would have been your lovers.”

“Why my lovers?”

“Because we were hidden in their power,” Air said. “Our magic flowed with theirs. Where we stood in the astral, they stood in the physical plane.”

“And yet, Death knows,” I said softly.

“I don't think he does,” Water said. “He may think you've been training again, but I never felt his attention on us.”

“That's true,” Air admitted. “Perhaps we're being overly sensitive.”

“You see?” Vex stroked my cheek. “You're worrying too much about this. Focus on what you can do. We need to start training.”

I gaped at him. “Shit, you're right. I forgot that we need you to strengthen us. We need to get—”

“Wait,” Vex interrupted, a soft smile on his face. “You forgot that you needed me?”

“For that, yes.” I frowned at him. “I'm sorry. I got wrapped up in you. And then I had to fight. And then—”

“Ember!” he cut me off again. “I'm pleased.”

“You are?”

Vexen snorted. “Have you also forgotten that I felt as if the only reason you wanted me was to strengthen your team?”

I blinked. Then I grinned. “I guess I did. So, you know for certain now that you're wanted for you.”

“Well, I learned that when we bonded, but it's still nice to hear that you were so distracted by me that you forgot about the war.” He leaned forward and kissed me.

I groaned into it and would have turned it into something more if my bladder hadn't been screaming at me to stop kissing and go to the bathroom. I pulled away from Vex reluctantly. “I've gotta pee. But then I'll be right back here and you can distract me again.”

“That sounds wonderful, mate,” Vex said.

“That sounds careless, foolish, and selfish,” Earth said.

“You tell 'em, Earth!” Fire said.

“All of you can shut the fuck up and get the fuck out of here right now,” I growled as I got out of bed. “I know Vex has to bond with the others too. I know that we need to train. And I know that we need to focus on ending the war. He knows it too. We will fucking get to it. But we deserve this reprieve. No, hold on. It's not even a reprieve. Love is what is going to win this war. Not magic. Love. So, we need to refuel and empower that love as much as possible. Making love to my mate is not just good for my heart, it's also good for the planet. So, I'm going to do it. Right now. Well, after I relieve myself. And the four of you are going to be gone by the time I return. Got it?”

A chorus of “yes” was muttered.

And then Air said, “We're sorry, Ember. We have watched people for thousands upon thousands of years, but we are not people. We don't think as you do or feel as you do. We don't understand love. But I do think you're right. It is the key to ending this war.”

I took a breath and let it out slowly. “Maybe you don't understand love, Air, but it's a part of you. If it wasn't, you wouldn't be helping me.”

“Well said, mate,” Vexen said.

There was a shimmer in the air and then the four avatars of the Elements stood before me, though their bodies were formed of their elements. It was quite the sight—Air like a ghost, Fire burning as she had before, Water rippling, and Earth was a statue of soil. They were somber, but their elemental eyes sparked with emotion that, according to Air, they didn't possess. In unison, they bowed to me.

“Thank you, Spark of the Goddess,” Air said.

“For reminding us,” Earth continued.

“That we are more than energy,” Water added.

“We are born of chaos, but we became consciousness through love.”

The avatars shimmered and dispersed into their elements, swirling around me before dancing away.