Chapter Twelve

“I want him tonight,” Taroc said.

The table went quiet.

I looked up from my plate to find Taroc staring at Rath and Xae.

“Oh, you ask them, but not me?” Keltyr teased.

“Don't you mean; oh, you ask them but not Ember?” I said.

“You usually sleep with them,” Taroc said. “I wanted to make sure that they'd be all right with your absence before I asked you.”

“Maybe reverse that order next time,” I said.

Vexen chuckled.

Taroc glared at him, then said to me, “It's an alpha thing.” He looked back at Vex to add, “Which you should understand. Especially after the rest of us let you do this.” He waved a hand at the empty platter.

“Let me?” Vexen raised his brows.

“Yes, let you.” Taroc leaned across the table toward Vex. “You're not bonded to him or us.”

“I will be.”

“All right, that's enough!” I said as I stood up.

“Am I wrong?” Vexen looked at me. “Because if I am, I need to know now, Ember. We all do. Then I can move on, and you can find someone else. So, am I wrong?”

Every eye swiveled toward me.

“I don't fucking know!” I snarled. “Shit. I can tell you that I like you a lot and that I think we'll bond. I'm pretty certain about it. But I don't know. No one really knows, do they?”

“How can you ask that after falling in love so many times?” Keltyr asked.

“Thanks, Kel,” I huffed.

“I'm serious. You should know exactly how it feels when you're falling in love with someone. So, are you? Because Vexen is right. If you're not, you need to stop seeing him immediately. It's unfair to everyone and a waste of precious time.”

“Damn, that was rather mature,” Rath said.

“Don't get used to it,” Kel said dryly.

I closed my eyes and sought calm. I was getting tired of throwing fits. Frankly, I was getting annoyed with myself. Maybe Vex was right to snap at me the other day and tell me to make a fucking decision. Just maybe not so rigidly. I should be allowed to feel sadness, but I needed to stop having temper tantrums like a child. It was getting old. Hero or martyr? I mean, there was still a hero inside a martyr. What was the difference? Martyrs embraced the suffering while heroes conquered it. So did I want to conquer my suffering or not?

What would a hero do?

“All right, motherfucker,” I growled at Vexen.

The table went silent again.

“You want an answer tonight?” I went on. “Then you'd better man up too. We're going to have sex. I'll know after that. For sure.”

Vexen's eyes twitched.

How's that for conquering?

“No,” Vexen said.

“What?!”

Surprisingly, it wasn't me who expressed shock. That was Keltyr. I was prepared for that answer, and I nodded as I climbed over the bench.

“Where are you going?” Vex demanded.

“To bed.” I looked at Taroc. “You coming?”

Taroc chuckled. “Wrong choice, tiger,” he said to Vexen as he stood. Then he sauntered over to me and took my hand. As we left the room, he whispered, “You're lucky he said no.”

“Why is that?”

“If he hadn't, you would have had four angry lovers to deal with.”

“Again, why?”

“Because you didn't ask us if you could take the next step with Vexen.”

“Oh, you mean like you didn't ask me to join you tonight?”

Taroc chuckled, picked me up, and faded us up to his bedroom.

Or at least, that's where I thought he was fading us.