Chapter Twenty-Three Above the Line

Lee woke when Eddie shoved him.

"There's someone at your door," he said into his ear. "I'm going to assume you don't want me to answer it?"

Groggy from having had yet another full night's sleep courtesy of good sex and even better company, Lee tilted his ear toward the door. A knock grew more demanding. "Shit." He clambered out of bed, found his grey joggers and yanked them on to trip over the clothes and shoes on the floor as he made his way out to the narrow hallway.

He checked his hair in the circle mirror along the wall, the only thing he'd put up since his move, flattened down the locks of dishevelled silver, then opened the front door where he was, once again, accosted by a cockapoo. And his ex-wife.

"Hey girl," he said to Coco, not to Cora, and ruffled behind her ears as she leapt up at him. Again, Coco. Not Cora. To his ex-wife, he added a monotonal greeting, "Cora."

"Lee."

"To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"You said you'd take her?"

Shit . He had.

"You haven't changed your mind, have you? I can't take her to my sister's. You know the children are scared of dogs. It'll be too late to get a kennel place now."

"No, no, it's fine. I forgot, that's all."

"You remembered to buy her food, though? A bowl?" Cora crouched to unhook Coco's lead and off she bolted into the flat.

"I'll get some today." Lee wedged his bulk in the doorway, not allowing Cora entrance.

She held his gaze for a while. Then, "You left yesterday. Without a word."

"I had to."

"Lee—" Coco's barking stopped the conversation Lee didn't want to have, and Cora peered around him. "Where did she go?"

"Probably on my chair."

Cora folded her arms. "Why is she barking?"

"She's excited."

"Can I at least say goodbye to her?"

Lee didn't have much choice as Cora clomped past him, through the corridor and along to the living space. Cora turned, hands on her hips. "She's not there." She then peered along the hallway to the open door of his bedroom. Coco barked and laughter filtered through the thin wall along with a desperate " Shh ."

Cora narrowed her eyes. "Is that…?"

"Cora—"

She clomped forward, palming the door and opening it wider. Along with her eyes. Lee scrambled to join her, watching his dog attacking his…Eddie. On the bed. Tangled in his sheets, sticky with sweat and sex. He'd have smiled if Cora hadn't sported her scowl.

"Coco, here, girl," she called, tapping her thighs.

Coco scrambled off the bed and Eddie wrestled with the sheets to cover his modesty, and all three stared at each other, Coco weaving in and out of Cora's and Lee's legs, excitable as, well, the puppy she was.

Cora was deadpan. "This will kill Rupert."

"It doesn't have to."

"No? Keeping him your dirty little secret, are you, Lee?"

"Not that any of this is within an ounce of your business, but no. We'll see Ru today. He already knows."

"We all know, Lee. We all saw you from the window. Heard the argument from inside. At Lori's remembrance. How would she feel?"

"Don't bring my mother into this." Eddie sat up, one knee bent and draping his arm over it. "I'd like you to respect that. Even if you can't respect Lee's privacy and the fact you divorced him and have no right to be in this flat. This room. Certainly not our relationship."

Cora turned her gaze on Lee, almost expecting him to come to her defence.

He didn't.

"Relationship?" She arched an eyebrow.

"Yes. "

"When did you turn gay , Lee?" she asked, almost in exasperation.

"I believe the kids these days call it bisexual, but to be honest with you, Cor, I don't like the labels. Never did. I know what I like, and I like this. Him . What we have. And neither you nor Rupert can stop us from seeing if it works."

Cora waited a moment. Then crouched, kissed the top of Coco's head, and left the room. Lee exchanged a cautious glance with Eddie, then rushed after her to open the front door. "Have a good time with your sister."

Cora twisted on the landing, ruffling back her hair as if composing herself. Lee found it hard to find the sympathy for her tears.

"I don't understand why you're upset."

"Because everything will change now."

"Everything already changed. The moment you chucked me in the spare room. Then when you threw me out altogether. Again when you handed me the divorce papers and took my house and my dog from me. You can't blame this on me."

"You know I did all that for you to just once tell me you still wanted us?"

Lee exhaled, long and weary. How was he to have known that?

"But you never did." Cora sniffed. "You never fought for us. Will you fight for him?"

"It looks like I'll have to."

"Why not me?"

"I don't know, Cora. I don't have the answers. I never did. All I know is that we tried. We failed. Life goes on and I found a reason to enjoy it. You should be happy for me. I would be for you."

"Even if you found me in bed with another woman? "

"If she made you happy, yes."

"Why couldn't I make you happy?" Cora's eyes filled with the same appeal she'd given when they'd first started having problems. But like back then, Lee didn't have any of the answers to placate her. "Why does he?"

Lee sighed. He didn't want to hurt anyone. Or dredge up the past. But she was asking. And he had to say something. Or she might not believe this was real.

"Everything felt heavy with you. As if just you and me weren't ever enough. We always had to have something more. A bigger house. A baby. A dog. It was like if we added more things into our relationship, if we had a goal to reach, then we didn't have to look inside ourselves and realise we weren't getting on. That we didn't quite fit."

"And you fit with him. Just you and him?"

"Right now, it feels that way. When I'm with him, I feel…enough. I'm not sure I've ever really felt enough before."

Cora blinked a few times, as if contemplating what Lee had admitted. Then she rose on her tiptoes and kissed Lee's cheek. "I want to be happy for you. It'll take some time to get used to, that's all."

"There's no rush. For once, there's no rush."

Cora turned on her heel and left, and Lee closed the door behind her, Coco panting by his legs. "All right, girl. Come on. Come back to bed." He then took her into the bedroom where Eddie sat, knees clutched to his chest, chin on the top, appearance both adorable and riddled with apprehension.

Lee climbed beside him, pushed him down on the bed, and kissed him. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For handling that the way you did."

Eddie fell serious. "I heard what you said. "

"Yeah?"

"You are enough, Lee. Everything you have been and everything you are right now and even what you do next. It's enough. And I love you for all of it."

Lee's breath hitched, but Coco scrambled up between them and licked his face.

"I come with baggage, though." Lee chuckled, stroking Coco's head. "An ex-wife, PTSD and a puppy."

Eddie rolled onto his back, Coco clambering over him to slobber all over his face. "The ex-wife and PTSD I can handle. This thing…" he laughed as Coco barked in his face, then licked him. "I'm not sure."

"Down, girl." Lee hauled her off Eddie, and she curled up between them.

"But don't forget, I come with baggage, too." Eddie stroked a hand through Lee's hair. "ADHD, a need to be the centre of attention, and a stubborn father drowning in his own loneliness."

"Then how about we take a walk? Go get this girl some food and stop by and see him?"

"I guess that's what Sundays are for, right? Arguing with your family? Although, should probably shower first. Dad might not appreciate our distinctive smell of sex."

"Good point. Hands off me in the shower then."

"No deal." Eddie leapt off the bed, grabbed Lee's hand, and hauled him up. "I also come with an insatiable sex drive. So come on, old man. Keep up."

* * * *

A couple of hours later, they stood outside Eddie's house, Lee clutching a carrier bag full of dog food, bowls and toys Eddie insisted he purchase, Coco's tongue wagging as Lee held her lead. Eddie's chest squeezed with what would happen beyond that door. But he rang the bell, having not taken a key last night, believing he'd be walking home with his dad.

Olivia opened it with a squee. For the dog. Not them. And she crouched to stroke Coco. "Hey, girl." She then looked up at Eddie and Lee. "I'm glad I'm not the rotten apple of the family anymore."

"Thanks, sis." Eddie stepped into the house.

"I thought if anyone was going to fuck one of dad's friends, it'd be me."

"Still can, Liv. Could take the heat off me for a bit?"

Olivia raked her gaze up and down Lee.

"Not this one," Eddie said, grabbing Lee's arm and hauling him onto the porch. "Dad's got a ton of boring lawyer friends you can have a poke at."

Olivia wrinkled her nose in disgust. "No, ta." She nodded at Lee. "He's the best one."

"I know." Eddie peered behind her. "Where is he?"

"In the kitchen. Right mood. Remember that time when I got caught stealing from Boots? He's that pissed."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Great."

"I don't steal anymore," Olivia rushed out, holding her hands up to Lee in defence.

"He's not a copper anymore, Liv."

"And when I was, I didn't work the petty crime unit."

Olivia held out her hand for Coco's lead. "Shall I take her in the garden while you two get cross-examined by the prosecution?"

Lee handed it over. "Wish us luck."

Olivia laughed. Cackled. "Nice one." She then clucked her tongue for Coco to follow her out toward the back garden.

"Ready?" Eddie asked .

"No. You?"

"Unlike you, this isn't my first rodeo." Eddie held out his hand. "I've been on the receiving end of a Brownlee battering many times."

"Have you?"

"We all do rebellious things, Lee."

"Am I ever going to know what they were?"

"You were a copper, Lee. Not a chance."

Surprising him, Lee slipped his hand into his, lacing their fingers. "Then lead the way, tough guy. I'll use you as my anti-riot shield."

Rupert was in the kitchen, nursing a coffee at the breakfast bar, eyes on BBC News on the mounted screen the far end detailing the latest in the sex trafficking ring between America and the UK. He glanced over his shoulder as Eddie made his way in and almost spluttered into his cup when he locked onto his hand clasped in Lee's.

"Oh, no." Rupert stood from the stool, stomping over to the sink to throw away the dregs of his coffee. "I'm not having you gang up on me. Not in my own home, thank you very much."

"Dad." Eddie let go of Lee's hand to make it easier. "I'd like you to meet my boyfriend."

Rupert snorted. Fiercely.

Eddie snatched the remote from the breakfast bar and muted the TV. "You have to face this, eventually."

"I don't have to do any such thing."

"Rupert." Lee hovered closer to Eddie, his warm breath falling onto Eddie's neck in solidarity. "We come in peace."

"We?" Rupert glared at him. "You're a ‘we' now?"

"Whether you like it or not. "

Eddie's heart fluttered at Lee's words. How he'd said them with such honesty and conviction. He'd half expected Lee to cave if Rupert didn't launch into their arms at first sight and declare it the best thing to have happened since…well, there weren't many happy times in either of their households recently.

This could be one. If his dad let it.

"What if I don't like it?"

"That's your prerogative." Lee stood tall, firm, no backing down, and Eddie couldn't love him any harder. But he knew how much Lee would hate this.

Rupert ripped his eyes from them to the kitchen window above the sink, where Olivia threw a ball and chased along with Coco in the garden. "You come with a dog, too? Real couple."

"Dad, I know you don't want to think about this, but it's happening. I'm in love with him."

Rupert turned his focus back on Eddie. "You're twenty-three, Eddie. A child . You have no idea what love is."

Lee cocked his head. "Didn't you, at twenty-one, point out Lori in a club and tell me you were going to marry her?"

Rupert clenched his jaw. "Don't talk about Lori. Not when you've been fucking our son."

"What are you mad at here?" Eddie stepped forward. "The other day you said there wasn't anything Lee could do that would make you think less of him."

"I said I'd be cross if he knocked up Olivia."

"But he didn't." Eddie held out his hands. "And I'm not pregnant, if that helps."

Rupert closed his eyes, clutching the sink and bowing his head. "No, Ed. No, it doesn't."

"Then what's the big deal? "

Rupert glanced back up, eyes narrowed. "What's the big deal? He's nearly fifty, Eddie."

"And?"

"He's two decades older than you. How can you really expect that to work?"

"I don't know. But I'd like to find out."

"And he's…" Rupert glanced at Lee as if not wanting him to be there when he finally said the truth. "I asked him to protect you. The most precious thing to me. I pushed him onto you. Then I discover he loses you because he was too knackered from fucking you to wake up in time. That's why I'm angry."

"That's not…" Eddie couldn't finish the lie. " I left the room, Dad. Me . That's not on him. What you should cling to is that he found me. Against all the odds, he found me."

"He almost didn't." Rupert choked. "Like he let…"

Eddie could feel Lee bristle behind him.

"You want to know why I left the room?" Eddie widened his eyes. "Because of you." He prodded his dad's chest. "I knew your reaction to finding out about us would mean I'd lose him. I don't want to lose him, Dad. I'm sick to the back teeth of losing people I love. I left the room to cry. Because that's who I am. A sensitive, emotional boy who cries about shit that makes him sad. I don't squash it down inside me. I don't pretend. I don't fuck off to work and try to forget. I cry ! And I did then, but I couldn't do it in front of him because I fell to fucking bits when he made the choice between me and you. Because he chose you . He'd always choose you. Because you saved him from drowning. Saved him from falling of a rock face. Saved him from quitting when everyone else quit on him." Lee's hand squeezing his shoulder brought Eddie back to the room. "And he saved you from falling apart after mum. "

Rupert blinked. Swallowed. Grit his teeth.

Eddie tilted his neck. "What's so bad, Dad? Is it because I'm a man? Because you're fine with me being gay, but not Lee? You can stomach other men fucking me, but if it's Lee, it becomes ick?"

"I had no idea he was…" Rupert waved a hand at Lee, then looked crushed as they held each other's gazes. "It's got nothing to do with being gay. You know that doesn't bother me. At all . But, God, Lee …" He glanced over Eddie to Lee, his hand still firmly on Eddie's shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know."

"How could you not…?"

"It just happened, Ru. Out of nowhere." Lee shook his head, then clamped his mouth shut.

Eddie angled his head to Rupert. "Tell him."

"What?"

"About Kili."

Lee sighed. "There was another man. Kilimanjaro."

"What? How? Who ? I was there !"

"Johnnie."

Rupert flinched. "From the other group?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus, Lee! Why didn't you tell me?" Rupert looked crushed, as if being in the dark about Lee's most intimate moments made him rethink their entire friendship.

"Because when I came back, you made some joke about him."

Rupert swallowed. "I…No, I…" He blinked rapidly, as if scanning through all the memories in his mind. "That didn't mean…"

"I know it didn't. It was ‘just a joke'. Like my old man was ‘just a bit heavy-handed'. Things like that stick, Ru. And it did then. "

Rupert glanced at Eddie, jaw clenched. "Things are different now," he said, as if that was enough of an apology for a flippant historical comment about a gay man before he'd known his son was too.

"I know." Lee stepped forward. "It wasn't important to me back then. But it is now. Everything I said last night is true. I'm terrified about this. Absolutely fucking terrified . But it feels right. It feels as if I have a new start in life. Eddie makes me feel alive . Feel enough . I don't want to lose him. Nor do I want to lose you over this. Because you're important to me, Ru. You saved me so many times and I hope you know I tried to help you, too. I was always there . I need you. Like you need me. But if you make me choose, then…God, Ru, you might end up alone. And I don't want that either. I want us to figure out how we can move forward. Because this is something here. I've found something to make me want to get out of bed and, yes, get in it, too."

Eddie stepped in closer to his dad and clutched his arm. "He's not choosing me over you. You're not losing him to me. Not if you don't want to. You two still have your thing. Your friendship I'm not part of. You can still go on your adventures when you're ready to. I have no intention of climbing a damn rock face with you both. I'm content to hand the beers out after."

Rupert looked at him then, tears gathering in his eyes, and Eddie's gut twisted at the hurt, the fear, the worry seeping from his father.

"God, Dad , none of us needs any more loss . Don't make us."

"Oh, Eddie." Rupert launched at him, holding him in a fierce embrace. "I don't want to lose you either." He held him, then leaned away to look at Lee. "Either of you. "

Lee staggered closer, and he ran a hand up Eddie's back, the other arm sliding around Rupert's shoulders. "Then let's take this slow." He held Rupert and Eddie together, three heads crashing together. "You're not the only one getting used to this."

"I'm so sorry if my words caused you to…" Rupert closed his eyes. "Avoid who you were."

"It wasn't just you, Ru. My old man. Myself. Then I met Cora. I loved Cora. But I feel like, maybe, I missed figuring stuff out earlier. Eddie helped me rediscover it. All of who I am. And," Lee smiled at Eddie through the circle, "I think I'm enough."

"You are," Rupert and Eddie said in unison.

Lee blinked back tears. The big man, tough alpha male, blinking back tears . Eddie loved him a little bit more.

After a while of hugging it out, Rupert drew away and Lee and Eddie hovered back to give him some space. Rupert held onto the sink behind him, chest rising and falling. But then he…laughed.

Eddie and Lee exchanged startled glances.

"Dad?"

"Oh, Ed." Rupert shook his head, easing his chuckles and wiping under his nose. "The day you were born, your mum said you were going to break some hearts when you were older. I told her you might mend some. I meant, at the time, that you might become a doctor but…" He peered up at Lee. "You have, anyway. You've mended the heart of a man who means as much to me as you do, and without whom you might not be here because, damn , if I wasn't too scared to talk to the most beautiful girl in the room and he— you , Lee—gave me that strength then and have every day since. "

They worked their way back into a three-way hug. Lee pulled away first, allowing Eddie a little longer with his dad. He needed it.

Olivia burst in through the side door with Coco trotting at her heels, and causing them to part. "Oh, good, no blood. Can we get a dog?"

Rupert sniffed away his tears. "Neither of you kids are here that much to warrant a dog in this house."

"Eddie can have your best friend, but I'm not allowed a dog? We all know who your favourite is now."

"I can't deal with this without a shower." Rupert made off toward the exit. Then turned back and held out his hand to Lee. "We're all mucking in to cook a roast later, then watching one of Lori's movies while gorging on ice cream. I'd be honoured to have my son's boyfriend join us."

Lee slapped his hand into Rupert's. "I wouldn't dream of being anywhere else."

Eddie grinned. Neither would he.

Reality, after all, wasn't that bad anymore.