Chapter 11

A rattling cough jostled my eyes open in time to note the trash can tucked under my second-favorite chin seconds before brown fluid spewed past my lips in a choking wave of putrid ick that would give sewage a run for its money. Muscles I didn't know I had in my stomach cramped from the abuse.

"We've got to stop meeting like this."

Sucking in air, praying it was over, I risked a glance up, recognized Aretha, and shot her a thumbs-up.

A premature one as another heave threatened to send my lungs flying out of my mouth into the trash.

"That's it." She steadied the can in case of round three. "Get it all out."

As the urge to purge subsided, I registered warm hands rubbing slow circles across my upper back. There was a brief pause in every rotation, an uncertainty in the press of long fingers into skin. Had it been Josie or Matty, there would have been backslapping to get me to vomit and screaming to call me ten kinds of idiot. Lots of screaming. Neighbors-calling-the-police levels of screaming.

That left me with Harrow as my unlikely nurse.

"Thanks," I rasped, my voice a fraying thread unraveling through the room.

"You're welcome."

Wrenching myself sideways, I almost dumped the trash can's contents in my lap before Aretha snatched it away.

Almost dying twice in as many days must have finally given me brain damage. "You see him too, right?"

Shoulders braced against my headboard, Kierce had been holding me wedged between his thighs while I bent over the can. I sat nearer to his knees now. He was paler than when he left, and his gaze was sharper. Electricity spiderwebbed between his fingers where they flexed on his lap like he had been my own private TENS machine.

Or defibrillator.

"Hard to miss him." Aretha dragged her gaze over his features. "He's very pretty."

Out of the million questions I had for him, I couldn't think of a single one.

"Here." She pressed a damp washcloth into my hand that plopped onto the bed. "Just hold still."

With gentle motions, she cleaned the bile from my chin and mouth, which would have mortified me had this actually been happening. He was practically a god. One who had watched me empty my stomach on repeat for the last ten minutes. Maybe even longer. I might not have been lucid the first—or second—go-around, but Aretha was wiping my face like I was a dribbling baby learning how to eat her pureed peas.

"This isn't real. He isn't real. None of this is real."

"Do you want me to be?"

Clearly still suffering from the oxygen-deprivation thing, I couldn't stop my silly grin.

"On that note—" Aretha threw a few things into her bag, "—I should update your family."

"How did you keep them out this time?"

"I warded the door to give Aretha peace." Kierce leaned forward, hooked me under my arms, and pulled me back into the cradle of his thighs. He adjusted me with the back of my head resting on his shoulder in a calculated pose that convinced me he was returning me to how I had been resting prior to waking. "Your siblings had to be restrained after Harrow failed to anchor you to the shore."

The urge to defend him flared on reflex, but then I remembered. "The asrai broke my ward."

"It had tasted your blood." He planted his palms on the mattress. "It was immune to your precautions."

"I didn't know." I angled my head to see him better. "I've never gone up against one."

"They're rare." His hair slid forward across his cheeks when he tilted his head down. "She was halfway to Abaddon when I caught her." His storm-cloud eyes darkened in his pallid face. "I almost lost you."

"Abaddon?" I couldn't swallow through my dry throat. "How did she?—?"

"Asrai are elemental, yes, but they're born from souls. They carry their prey to Abaddon to feast."

"That would have been nice to know." A tremor shook me. "You're a handy guy to have around."

"I wish I had been here sooner." His exhalation gusted across my cheek. "I can't travel when I'm this weak."

"Travel." I lifted my hand and rubbed a finger over his brand on my forearm. "Between realms?"

"Between realms, coasts, or even across the street."

"Then how did you find me?" I twisted against him, planting my palm on his chest. "The light." I made a fist and pounded on him once. "It was the leaf." I flattened my hand again. "In the culvert."

"Badb planted it where I would see its glow and find my way to the portal." His pride in her cleverness was evident. I was shocked she had let him out of her sight after going through so much to get him back. "All I had to do was wait near the burning lake for the asrai to reopen a path I could take to your world." He raked his fingers through my hair. "And pray you were still alive when I got here."

"That means…" I curled my fingers into his damp shirt. "You were in Abaddon?"

"That's enough." Aretha anchored her hands on her hips. "I see you two have a lot to discuss, but you're getting too worked up, Frankie. Your pulse is ping-ponging all over the place. You need your rest."

"I'll do better." I switched from Aretha to Kierce. "I didn't mean to attack you with questions."

"I don't mind." He glanced from me to Aretha. "I appreciate your assistance."

"No worries." She tossed me a wink. "Frankie is my new favorite patient."

Dollar signs flashed behind my eyes as I imagined just how much Harrow was sinking into my healthcare.

With a wiggle of her fingers, she left me alone with Kierce.

"How weird would it be if I hugged you?" I itched to trail my fingers across his cheekbones, to reassure myself he was here. "I'm so glad to see you." I dropped my hot face into my dirty hands. "That probably sounds weird too."

"I'm glad to see you too," he admitted softly, his lips brushing my ear.

"That's a yes to the hug then?"

"Yes."

He locked himself in place, allowing me to burrow into his chest. I tunneled my arms behind him and let my cheek rest over his heart. His fingers dug into the sheets until his knuckles turned white as bone. The drumming beneath my ear kicked up a notch, and I smiled into the fabric of his shirt, breathing in a faint hint of incense.

"When you hug someone," I explained, in case he didn't know, "they usually hug you back."

Lifting his arms, he rested his hands on my waist, mirroring my hold on him. "Better?"

"Much." I angled my chin to watch the pinch of uncertainty cloud his features. "You're a natural."

"Nothing about me is natural." He eased up on his clenched jaw. "But I'm willing to learn."

I was willing to play teacher to his student when it came to human nature. A tiny blip of concern that it was our simpatico natures causing me to form an attachment was valid, but there were worse things to bond over. He was fascinating and kind, if awkward, but I found his uncertainty too adorable for words. "Don't sell yourself short."

"You saved me."

The vulnerability in those words hung between us for so long I got stuck on his phrasing. Me. Not my life . I was splitting hairs. Probably. I should turn off my brain for the night and enjoy having him back.

"There's a lot of that going around lately." I cocked my head at the rumble of approaching footsteps and kissed our moment of peace goodbye. "Mostly it's people saving me, not the reverse."

"Then I consider myself fortunate to count myself in that number."

Several things happened after the door banged open, and I might have unraveled them quicker had I not still been clutching Kierce like a sea-swept heroine on the cover of an old-school romance novel.

Badb burst our little bubble first, dive-bombing Kierce and yanking on his hair while screaming at him.

That answered the question of how he had convinced her to part from him. She hadn't gone willingly.

Then Josie hit her knees beside the bed and reached for me, attempting to draw me into her arms, but it didn't go so well since Kierce didn't release me.

Matty noticed our pose, gawked for two beats, then pivoted to slam the door.

Too late.

Harrow had already seen me tangled up in the sheets with Kierce.

I expected him to rage and gnash his teeth. I braced for finger-pointing and threats. Chest beating. Stomping. Demands for answers.

What he gave us disturbed me far more than any of those things.

A smile. One that did everything it should have to his face but didn't touch his eyes. And then he left.

"Well," Josie said what we were all thinking, "that wasn't weird at all."

Not thirty seconds later, a text chimed on my phone, and Josie passed it to me from the nightstand.

Yep. It was Harrow. And nope. The check-in didn't make his departure any less unsettling.

I'm glad you're okay. I would have stayed, but you've got a full house. Call me tomorrow?

Matty and Josie didn't run you off, did they?

Carter has a lead we need to follow up on. I'll fill you in after you get some rest.

Okay.

Thanks for being there for me.

You're more than welcome.

"That was Harrow." I tilted my phone back and forth. "He was very chill."

Maybe Aretha had hit him with a milder version of the calming spell she used on Lyle before risking him in a room with Kierce.

"I'm about to be un-chill," Josie growled, "if you don't unhand my sister, mister."

"Hug time is over." I patted Kierce's hands where they rested low on my hips. "I have to face the music."

Arms folded across his chest, Matty strolled over to the bed. "Why are we, your family , the music?"

"Hmm." A snicker slipped out as Kierce released me. "You're loud and annoying?"

"What he meant was—" Josie's eyes glistened like dewdrops on blades of grass as she locked gazes with Kierce, "—who the fuck do you think you are, Birdboy, warding us out when our sister is injured?"

"Josie." I gathered her against me. "It's okay. I'm okay. Everything is okay."

Tears rolled down her cheeks, splashing my covers, and her anger softened as I rocked her.

"You weren't breathing, Mary." As her voice cracked, so did my heart. "You weren't breathing."

"We thought you were dead when Kierce carried you out of the water." Matty sat on the mattress, and I took his hand. "You were so pale, Mary, and Harrow lost it. He waded in after you were taken, splashing water to search for you, but you were gone. Then Kierce came out of nowhere, and Harrow blamed it on him. He claimed it was proof Kierce set the whole thing up to make himself look like a hero."

"Batshit-crazy rants." Josie sniffled against my shoulder. "Oh." She flicked her eyes up to Kierce with new understanding in them. "That's why you barred the door. To keep him out."

"Frankie wasn't breathing," he agreed, allowing tiny jolts of electricity to slide across his skin. "Aretha required my assistance resuscitating her." His gaze dipped to my chest then flitted away. "There was no time for us to explain. We had to act. Fast." He ended the light show. "I regret that the lack of access frightened you."

"I have a temper." Josie used my shirt as a tissue. "I shouldn't have snapped at you." She wiped her nose just to watch me cringe. Little sisters were menaces. "Harrow brings out the worst in me. He always has, and I'm starting to think he always will. That's no excuse for taking out my anger at him on you."

Hand over my heart, I stared at her in awe. "You took responsibility for your actions."

"She apologized to him and everything," Matty joined in, "like a real-life adult."

"Shut up the both of you." Josie huffed. "Come on, Frankie. Let's get you showered before you crash."

"Kierce and I will change the sheets," Matty volunteered. "These smell like toilet water."

With Josie keeping an ear out in case I got dizzy or faceplanted on the tile, I washed my hair and let the gunk and funk run off me until I my skin was bright pink and the heat was going to my head. After I was dried and dressed in pink pajamas with purple skulls on them, she sat me on the toilet seat, lid down, and insisted on blow-drying my hair to avoid me going to bed with a wet head.

When we emerged in a cloud of steam, Matty was doing his best not to laugh as Kierce battled a pillow. I watched for a second or two, curious who would prevail. The PA or the pillow refusing to fit into its case.

"That's it." Josie bumped her shoulder into mine. "Show that pillowcase who's boss."

"It's been five minutes," Matty told us. "I'm still not sure if Kierce, the pillow, or the case is winning."

"Here." I crossed to Kierce. "Let me help."

"Why is this so difficult?" His question was genuine. "The stuffing is thwarting me."

"It's full of feathers." I showed him a quill sticking through the fabric. "They make it tricky."

The confession earned me an ear-piercing caw from Badb, who fluffed herself at the very nerve.

"This pillow was made from ethically sourced down." I put it in the closet to keep her from murdering it. "I'm sorry to have offended your delicate sensibilities." I let Matty guide me to bed and Josie tuck me in. "Do you guys mind going ahead? I'd like to talk to Kierce privately for a minute."

"You've already had private time with Kierce." Josie raised an accusing eyebrow. "You were sitting in his lap when we came in. How much more privacy do you need?" An evil smile flickered. "Or is it more time you want?" She turned an innocent look on Kierce. "How long?—?"

"Josie." I slapped a hand over her mouth. "Stop right there."

"You don't even know what she was asking," Matty defended her. "She might have wanted to know?—"

"No." Snagging the pillow from behind my head, I slapped him in the face with it. "Bad Mary."

Any question from Josie that involved the words how and long weren't meant for polite company.

"Aretha warned against excitement." Kierce reclaimed the pillow from Matty then offered it to me. "You should be resting." He readjusted my covers. "We should go."

That was part of the problem, and I needed to speak to him. Alone. Before he walked out the door.

"See you tomorrow, siblings." I waved goodbye to them while latching on to Kierce's hand. "Sleep well."

"I thought the nurse warned against excitement." Josie took a step back, dragging Matty along. "Are you ignoring your nurse's orders, or do you not find him exciting?"

"Okay." Matty caved to the murderous glare I cut Josie. "We're leaving."

" But we'll be back." She pointed at me. "I expect clothes on and all fluids inside their bodies of origin."

"I'm going to die of shame now." I scooted down the mattress and pulled the covers over my head. "Put flowers on my grave on my birthday."

The door opened and then shut, but I wasn't sure I could face Kierce after that comment.

A few minutes later, he cleared his throat. "Are you all right under there?"

To avoid coming out, I asked, "Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"I don't know."

The somber answer bolstered me enough to lower the barrier between us. "What do you mean?"

"I lived so long ago…" He left the sentence hanging. "Your siblings meant no harm."

"They only intended to embarrass me to death," I agreed and pushed myself upright, until I was leaning against the headboard. "It's how they show their love."

"Hmm."

The wrinkle in his brow told me he didn't understand, not quite, but I had more important questions on my mind. "You can't travel until you heal, right?"

"That's correct." He sat when I patted the edge of the mattress. "I left too soon."

"To save me." I tapped a finger on his pinky knuckle. "That's why you risked the portal."

"Yes," he said without hesitation.

"Do you always return to Abaddon when you leave me?"

"For the most part." He focused on where we touched. "Unless assignments take me elsewhere."

"That's your home?" I pressed even when his fingers curled into his palm. "That's where you live?"

"It's not home, but yes. I reside there." A line marred the smoothness of his forehead. "I exist there."

As much as I wanted to press for more, I was battling exhaustion. "Then where will you go?"

"I don't know." A humorless laugh slipped past his lips. "I hadn't thought about it."

A powerful being, used to snapping his fingers or clicking his heels—however his teleporting worked—to get from one place to another, wouldn't have a backup plan. Of that, I felt certain after watching him get ready to walk out the door without a hint of concern. That he needed to decide where to go and how he would get there hadn't occurred to him.

"Would you like to stay here?" I linked my fingers in my lap. "You wouldn't be stuck if not for me. It's the least I can do." I rubbed my thumbs together. "You're welcome to stay as long as you need. Badb too."

"I would like that." He placed his palms flush to one another in his lap. "Thank you for your kindness."

"I feel responsible, so you're doing me a favor. I couldn't let you walk out with nowhere to go." I nudged him up and stood beside him. "Would you like to shower?"

"I have no spare clothes."

"Let me worry about that." I escorted him to the bathroom. "You know how everything works?"

"Yes." He studied the knobs in the shower with curiosity that torpedoed my confidence in his claim. "I believe so."

"How about I get you started?" I turned on the water and adjusted the temp, giving him room to watch. "There's shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in this thingamabob." I returned to the closet for a towel and washcloth. "Get cleaned up, and I'll be back in a minute."

Hoping he could figure out the rest, I shut the door and hit the armoire in my bedroom. I dug out a black oversized tee with a cute ghost transfer on the front. I didn't want a lecture, so asking Matty for a pair of underwear wasn't happening. Kierce would have to make do with matching pajama pants.

Commando. On my couch. Mere feet from my bed.

Before my brain went for a swim in the gutter, I knocked on the bathroom door then dumped the pile of clothes on the counter near the sink. I was twitchy with nerves, half wishing he would need help with his nightclothes, when he exited with a shake of his head that flung water droplets on my cheeks.

To mention I had seen Badb do the exact same thing after a dip in the birdbath was probably rude.

And if seeing him dressed in my clothes ignited a possessive spark in my chest, I was only human. Ish.

"Do you mind taking the couch?" I cleared my rough throat. "I have spare pillows and blankets."

"To sleep?"

"Yes," I said slowly. "You do sleep, right?"

"Yes," he said just as slowly, as if he wasn't certain of the answer he was giving me.

"You don't sound sure."

"I can lull myself into a trancelike state."

"You rest the way spirits do." I heard my fascination and worked to tone it down a notch. He couldn't enjoy how often I geeked out over him. "Do you want to watch TV instead?"

"I'll heal faster if I…" he weighed the word before using it, "…sleep."

Returning to the hall closet where I stashed the offensive down pillow earlier, I took out a memory foam one and a sheet. "The couch is new." I guided him to it. "It's like a cloud."

"I noticed you decorated in my absence." His attention landed on the Bird Girl print. "I like it."

"Thanks." I dumped the supplies onto the cushions. "It was time."

Easing down onto the couch, Kierce sat, leaned back, and shut his eyes. "How long should I…sleep?"

"As long as you want." I noticed him slowing his breathing on purpose. "Do you want to lie down?"

"Should I?" He shot the pillow a wary glance. "Would it make you more comfortable?"

"This is about your comfort." I tilted my head. "Where do you rest when you're at home?"

"In my cage."

"I'm sorry." I flopped next to him when my knees gave away. "Your cage ?"

"To make myself vulnerable requires precautions." He shrugged like what he was telling me was normal. "I'm safer behind the bars."

Had I expected a death god and his PA to exist in perpetual sunshine and rainbows? No. I had done what research I could—always dangerous when relying on human knowledge—during a phase of desperation to discover what I was and how I fit into the world, but this rocked me.

"Okay." I bit my cheek to avoid pushing for more details. "Let's try this then."

The pillow earned another suspicious glance before he nodded agreement.

"Lay your head here." I masked my amusement over his distrust of the pillow, convincing me the down stuffing must have freaked out Badb and him. "This pillow is made of memory foam. Not feathers." The news did nothing to ease his rigidity. "Are you too warm or too cool?"

"I'm fine." He locked his muscles in place. "This is…nice."

"Start out with the sheet on." I kept my apartment as cold as the grave, according to my siblings. "You can always kick it off if you get hot." His hesitance convinced me this would go smoother if I tucked him in, but he was barely breathing by the time I finished. "You know what?" I reached for the sheet. "You do you." I tugged, but he held on. "You don't have to do things my way."

"I want to try your way." He forced himself to sink his head into the pillow. "It's…nice."

Nice.

There was that word again.

Something told me if I walked away now, I would find him in this exact pose come morning.

"Maybe this will help." I fetched the sparkly cat bed and set it at his feet. "Badb can give you a lesson on the art of relaxation. She's a pro." I scanned the room but didn't see her. "Where did she go?"

"She's outside." Kierce's gaze drifted to the ceiling. "She's got a bad feeling."

As dread trickled down my spine in cold drops of sweat, I forced myself to ask, "About?"

Please don't say Harrow. Please don't say Harrow. Please don't say Harrow.

"She's not sure." He tilted his head, listening, then returned his attention to me. "She'll come in soon."

Had exhaustion not left me swaying on my feet, I would have pushed harder for answers to her escape route, but her secrets would live another day. "I'll be right over there if you need anything."

Determination to enjoy his bedding hardened his resolve. "Good night, Frankie."

Resisting the urge to ruffle his damp hair, I plodded back to my bed. "Good night, Kierce."

The world tilted as I mashed my face into my pillow, and darkness swallowed me down in one gulp.