14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Tessa watched the Mersey River flow beneath the bridge as the Stanmore bus crossed over it, ignoring a text from Skylar and feeling like a proper arsehole. Ever since kissing Jamie, Tessa had been ghosting Skylar, and now she was faced with the direct question:

Skylar

Have I done something wrong?

Of course, she hadn’t. Skylar’s only transgression was not being Jamie. That was Tessa’s issue. She glanced over the seats where Jamie sat with Niamh, the latter showing Jamie videos on her phone before they laughed together. Tessa sighed. Right when she had met someone else, Jamie came back into her life. And unfortunately, with Jamie around, Tessa couldn’t focus on anyone else. It had to be due to their soulmate connection, but that didn’t make it any less painful.

How many more lifetimes would it take for Jamie to be where Tessa was? Was there an amount where the universe would finally give up on them? Or was Tessa truly cursed to live an eternity waiting?

Shaking her head, she opened up her phone again and typed a quick message

No, you haven’t. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to see each other. Something’s come up, and I’m dealing with it.

Another message appeared within seconds.

Skylar

Something being your ex-girlfriend?

Aye. I’m sorry.

It’s okay, I understand. We all have the one that got away.

I dunno if it’s like that, but it is complicated.

I get it. But my advice? Don’t let each other get away this time.

Tessa blinked at her phone. With a huff, she locked it. That was easy for Skylar to say. She hadn’t been abandoned in three different lifetimes, only for that person to come back asking for yet another chance. And yes, there was the therapy, but would that be enough? When Jamie told Tessa she wanted to kiss her after the match against the men, her temper flared. Her response was mostly to express what her expectations were—that Jamie would not act on her feelings. Also, a small, petty part of her meant it as a dare. For all intents and purposes, Jamie chickened out.

They arrived at St. Helen’s Stadium, and Tessa got off the bus first, pointedly not looking at Jamie as she disembarked, and waited for the team to follow. She would take a few videos of them getting off the bus for Instagram and TikTok. The women usually waved to her if they acknowledged her at all.

Tessa set up a tripod to get both the Stanmore bus and a Liverpool flag in the background of the shot. The team made their exits, pulling their jackets tighter around them to combat the chill in the October air, waved to Tessa, and headed inside.

Tessa followed them once all the players were through, and while they warmed up, she got shots of their shirts hanging in their lockers. She shocked herself sometimes with how quickly she’d fallen into the match day routine. But once she had the basics, she didn’t have to think much about it.

The match kicked off on time, and that was when Tessa knew she had to be “on.” Ninety minutes passed quicker than she thought, and she needed to pay attention to get all the highlights from the match. Jamie featured in most of them. Her command of the midfield had strengthened Stanmore’s attack. She created more chances for a goal than they ever had before. The Liverpool goalkeeper was incredible, and she continued to deny Stanmore throughout the first half.

Tessa remembered how it was when she and Jamie were together three years ago. Jamie wanted her at matches, but not too many so they wouldn’t arouse suspicion. She didn’t want Tessa sitting with the other families, because it might tip her father off to their relationship. Tessa could have a shirt, of course, but not Jamie’s, because that might send a message. Eventually, Tessa gave up and watched from home.

Watching from the sidelines was worlds different. As if she weren’t already a massive ride, seeing Jamie up close gave Tessa an even greater idea of her talent. Jamie dribbled and passed with knife-like precision. She could deliver the perfect cross and corner, and even score if the ball came to her feet at the exact right moment. Which was how Stanmore earned the opening goal against Liverpool.

The Liverpool keeper blocked a header from Monika, which bounced right to Jamie, who didn’t even take a touch before she hammered it into the back of the net. It sailed past the Liverpool defenders and under the keeper’s flying body. The Liverpool crowd booed, but Jamie found the corner of Stanmore supporters and leaped into the air in front of them, pumping her fist. The fans waved their scarves in reply. Her teammates flew to her and engulfed her in hugs.

Tessa caught the whole thing on camera. Then, Jamie blew her a kiss. On camera, it appeared to be directed toward the device, but Tessa knew better. Jamie met her gaze and blew her a kiss. It felt. . . intentional. For her.

Stanmore remained one-nil up for most of the second half. Tessa’s heart fluttered every time Jamie caught her eye. When Jamie delivered the cross that gave Monika the shot for Stanmore’s second—and the winning—goal, Jamie beamed at Tessa over Monika’s shoulder when they hugged.

When the match concluded, A sea of athletes and staff engulfed Tessa as they celebrated their first win of the season. Jamie’s hand lingered on the small of Tessa’s back when they all parted.

Alright, you , Tessa thought. You’ve got my attention .

In true Stanmore tradition, the team went out for karaoke following the first out-of-town away match of the season. Tessa got the invite from Niamh, and decided to join them. They picked a tiny place that was within minutes of the stadium. The bar was so small, the team took up the entire place.

“Alright!” Paige called over chatter. “We can go in any order we want, but remember, Niamh and Jamie, as the newest members, must sing before the end of the night. Got it, you two?”

Jamie gave a thumbs up.

“I want to go first!” Niamh cried, and her teammates and Tessa cheered.

“Come on up!” Paige replied and offered the microphone.

Niamh took her place on the barely there stage and leaned over the bar to whisper her song choice. Taking the microphone, she addressed the team.

“I’ll be starting us off with a classic,” she said. “The absolute artistry of S Club, formerly S Club 7.”

The team cheered and Tessa laughed as the first notes of “Never Had a Dream Come True” played over the sound system. One thing Tessa had learned about Niamh was that the girl was obsessed with anything 90s and Y2K. Not that Tessa minded. It only rubbed her the wrong way when Niamh referred to those eras as “vintage.”

The song hit differently, though, with Jamie sitting across the room. Niamh’s beautiful vocals were hardly a distraction from the meaning of the words. Especially lines such as “a part of me will always be with you” and “I just can’t say goodbye.” Jamie’s gaze found Tessa’s from across the room, and Tessa didn’t look away. She held on, staring into the blue depths of Jamie’s eyes, knowing she felt it too.

Tessa cut her gaze from Jamie’s as the song finished. She clapped and forced a smile as Niamh came down from the stage, and Zahra took her place, singing a song in Arabic.

Paige went next, followed by Eliana full-on serenading Neriah. Then Monika elbowed Jamie, indicating it was her turn.

Jamie gave her song to the bartender before stepping up behind the mic. She didn’t say anything, she only locked eyes with Tessa again and began her rendition of Willie Nelson’s “Always On My Mind.”

Tessa sucked in a soft gasp. A memory of their last time together swimming into view. They stood in Tessa’s kitchen, Tessa chopping vegetables and failing to explain what it meant when a recipe called for a “whack of spuds.” All she could say was that you knew it when you saw it. Jamie giggled at the idea, but let the argument go once that very song came on shuffle.

“Oh, fuck yeah,” she’d said.

“Willie Nelson? Seriously?” Tessa had questioned.

“I absolutely love this song, and no one does it better than Willie, not even Elvis,” Jamie had replied, setting her drink down to join Tessa at the counter. She extended her hand. “Dance with me.”

Tessa had glanced between Jamie’s hand and her face. “I’m chopping spuds here.”

“Stop and dance.”

And with that, Tessa had given in. She took Jamie’s hand and let Jamie pull her into her arms. Back then, Tessa had never felt safer in any place. She rested her head on Jamie’s shoulder and they swayed together, Jamie singing softly in her ear, dinner forgotten. For three minutes and thirty-one seconds, they were the only people in the world.

From her seat beside her, Niamh nudged Tessa with her elbow, bringing Tessa back to the present as Jamie sang “Tell me that your sweet love hasn’t died.” Jamie was still gazing meaningfully at her, no doubt reliving the memory as well.

“Alright, Tessa?” Niamh said. “You look about ready to cry.”

Tessa frowned. “Catch yourself on.”

She turned away and blinked, but the tears rolled down her cheeks. The room spun around her. She needed to leave. The song faded out, and Jamie’s voice rang clear with the words “you were always on my mind.” Tessa had to get some fresh air, or she was certain she would suffocate. She launched herself to her feet and pushed her way through the crowd to the door. She burst through it, sucking in the October air, raw grief encasing her heart.

“Tessa!”

She knew it was Jamie without having to look. That voice had followed her across centuries.

“Tessa, wait,” Jamie said, jogging to catch up with her on the pavement. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you back there. I only. . . I wanted to bring back a good memory. It was for me, anyway.”

Tessa sniffled. “That’s just it, Jamie. You do something like that and then say something so sweet and you are making it impossible for me to stay mad at you!”

A smile threatened the corners of Jamie’s mouth. “That is sort of my goal.”

“Sweet suffering Jesus. . . ” Tessa sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I like that you send me Emily Dickinson poems and that you remember dancing in my kitchen. But getting over you was the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. And now you’re here, and it feels like all that effort was a waste. Because everything I have ever felt for you is still right here in my heart.” She put a hand over her chest and turned her face toward the sky, but the stars were hidden behind thick gray clouds. “I want to be with you again, Jamie, but I’m scared.”

A hand clasped hers, and Tessa looked forward again, finding Jamie right in front of her.

“I’m scared too, Tessa,” she said, interlocking her fingers with Tessa’s. “I wish I was ready. Truly, I do. I never want you to hurt the way you did last time. All I can do is promise to keep working on things.”

Tessa swallowed hard. “I hope you know I am proud of you for that.”

“It’s not enough,” Jamie replied. “Not yet.”

“Can’t you tell me what it is you’re afraid of? What do you think your father will do to you if you come out?”

Jamie dropped her gaze to the ground. “I don’t know.”

“I think you do. You just don’t want to tell me.”

A drop of rain fell between them, creating a dark spot on the pavement. Steady rain followed, pattering against the windows of the shops and soaking into Tessa’s clothes and hair. Jamie looked up at the sky as a rumble of thunder sounded above them.

“I’m getting there, Tessa,” she said. “I’m doing my best.”

“Could you do your best a wee bit faster?”

Jamie met her gaze and chuckled. Her chocolate brown hair turned black as the rain saturated it, making Jamie’s face appear as pale as marble. Tessa often thought Jamie looked like a work of art. But soaking wet, under the light of the lamp posts, it was especially true.

Jamie nodded toward the alley around the corner from the bar entrance and led Tessa into the safety of darkness. There, she pinned Tessa against the wall, lifted her arms over her head, and kissed the daylight out of her.

Heat surged through Tessa’s body, along with the memories of their past lives. Flashes of them stealing kisses outside the ward during WWI, sneaking away to the kitchens before the American Revolution, and holding each other as the ship swayed beneath them on their way to Jamestown. All of it flickered behind Tessa’s eyes as Jamie’s mouth moved with hers. All their time together. All their attempts at honoring their love.

When they parted for air, rain streaming down their faces as they panted and gazed at each other, Jamie cupped Tessa’s face.

“Fast enough for you?” Jamie said.

Tessa smirked. “For now.”

With that, she pulled Jamie in for another kiss.