Chapter 30

Thirty

Elena – Four Weeks Later

My eyes go over the inscription before me….

Liliya Rose Mikhailov

Beloved Daughter and Sister

That’s it: no sweet words, no in memorium .

Papa didn’t want anyone to know what she did, not wanting people to believe he was a weak Pakhan, but he didn’t want to write anything false.

She was a beloved daughter; Mama and Papa did everything for her, clearing up her messes, even if it meant at my expense. She was also a beloved sister until I hit my double digits, and I realized how she treated me was not alright.

I chew my bottom lip, gently tapping Luca’s bottom as I look at the grave.

No flowers on the gravesite.

Papa said the Bratva men showed up at her funeral only out of respect. Romeo refused, so his father went in his place, not wanting anyone to think there was bad blood.

Miguel is also in attendance out of respect for me, being Romeo’s wife, while he ensured Renata stayed at the hotel.

No one else came; no one wants to celebrate her life.

A vision of her dead brown eyes hit me, and I swallow hard, walking over her grave.

Carefully, I take a seat at the headstone, leaning back. I ensure Luca is safely on my chest as I put the red roses on her grave.

Her favorite….

I look at the sky and admit, “I don’t know where to start, Lil….” A gentle breeze brushes over me, and I move Luca’s hat, not wanting him to get cold.

“I have so many regrets, Liliya, so many, and I can’t rectify them because you're gone.” Tears start to fall. “I always looked up to you, always wanted to be where you were, and I have spent weeks trying to figure out where things when wrong, and there are only two times when Mama turned against you in favor of me. I was told, once, when I was born, you were the one to give me the scar on my leg, but I looked back at the footage.” I snort. “Three-year-old you wanted to give me something to play with, not realizing the danger, and you were too small for it to impact you….” I sniffle a little, gently rubbing my hand down Luca’s back. “Then, in therapy, it hit me. I was eight, you were ten, and we were playing outside the gates, the guard busy with something else.” I look up at the sky again. “A hitman came for us, and I pushed you out of the way before he could grab you, but he grabbed me instead. God, I forgot about that time, you know, wanting to block it out.” I sniffle again. “I was only gone for two days, but when I came home, you were different, and so was Mama….”

Luca coos, and I smile.

“I wish things didn’t go the way they did, Liliya. I wish you stayed that loving sister before everything fell apart. I wish Agy never came back into our lives, because she was the one who set up the kidnapping, wanting to use you for money.” Tears coat my cheeks as I croak, “You could have been the best tetushka if you hadn’t gone down the road you did.”

And I’m not lying, either. If she had stayed the sweet girl that I sort of remember, then she would have been the best auntie, and would have given Holly, Valerie, and Maya a run for their money.

“We could have been happy, sestra , but you let jealousy and greed take over. God, Liliya, I was punished for your lies. I was sold because of your actions, and it's hard because you wouldn’t take accountability for what you did. Instead, you blamed me for everything, when all I wanted to do was disappear into my books.”

I wipe away the tears as I hear a car pull up, and I know instantly that Romeo has arrived.

I had Aldo bring me, and it doesn’t surprise me that he contacted Romeo, who had finally returned to work, being the scary, big bad boss, while keeping his promise to be home by four in the afternoon.

We also sometimes go to his office until lunchtime, just so he doesn’t miss time with his son who’s growing fast.

I watch as he climbs out of the SUV, but he doesn’t walk this way. Instead, he leans against the hood, crossing his arms over his chest, watching me, giving me the time I need.

He looks amazing in his dark gray three-piece suit…

I swallow hard. “I didn’t want this life, Liliya. I wanted to choose who I married. I wanted to have a quiet life.” I look down. “I didn’t want to fall in love with him, but I did, and all you did was try and destroy the happiness I was trying to find with the man I was forced to marry.”

Anger takes hold.

“Liliya, you were so selfish. You forced this on me and yet blamed me. You made bad decision after bad decision for years, without a care for the consequences. Christ, I was shot because of you!”

My tears fall again, and I see Romeo tense as he pushes off the hood, and storms my way. I don’t move even as he approaches, standing before me.

He gently kneels and takes Luca from me, then steps back, but stays close so I can finish.

I admit, “My dream, Liliya, was that real, or am I wishing it was?” Romeo furrows his brows, and I whisper, “You said you deserved what you got, that you were sorry…. You told me to fight, and I fought, but all I feel is guilt that you are no longer here, that we can’t fix our relationship, even though you treated me so poorly….”

Romeo’s eyes soften as Luca gets restless, and he gently rocks him.

“I miss who you used to be, and that girl, Liliya, is the girl I’m going to mourn, because that girl screamed for help when I was taken….”

Romeo’s head snaps my way, but I ignore him, and carefully stand and turn. Leaning over, I place my lips against the headstone.

“I forgive you, sestra . Please rest in peace now,” I whisper, then turn and walk to my husband and son.

Romeo instantly raises his arm, and I walk into his side as he asks, “You were taken?”

I nod as he guides us to the SUV, and admit, “When I was eight, but I blocked it out. The therapist you hired for me helped me get the memory back. I finally remember being close to Liliya, but nothing was the same after I was kidnapped—with her or Mama, and I guess that’s why my subconscious blocked that whole time out.”

He sighs. “It’s why you thought she was always a bitch.”

I nod, and he gently places Luca into his car seat. I state, “It doesn’t erase all the pain she caused, but whatever happened in the time I was gone, she changed, and Mama became more, I don’t know, more of a mother to her than me, I guess.”

Romeo gently shuts the door, and then wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me close. I grip his suit jacket and place my head on his chest, my eyes looking at the grave in the distance, the roses standing out.

“When I was in the coma, I saw her.” Romeo tenses at my words, but I continue, “I don’t know if it was just in my head or whatever, but it felt real, and she seemed so sincere….” I look up at him, my tears blurring his sharp features, and I rasp, “I want to believe it's true…I would end up in a meadow with a little boy calling for me, his mamma, to go play with him. He had your eyes, nose, and hair, while he had my lips and freckles.” My tears fall. “Does that make me crazy?”

He squeezes me tight to him and gently kisses away my tears, whispering, "No, farfalla , it doesn’t, and the fact you want it to be true shows how much you actually did love your sister.”

I nod, placing my head on his chest again, my eyes going back to the grave, and I ask, “Can we come here once a month, just so I can fill her in on our life, so Luca doesn’t grow up knowing the hurtful and spiteful woman she became?”

I feel his lips against my head as he leaves one hand on my back, placing his other in my hair.

He agrees, “Whatever you want, baby, I’d give you the world if I could.”

I smile at that.

“I love you, Romeo. Thank you for never giving up on me,” I rasp, closing my eyes. This time, instead of seeing Liliya’s dead brown eyes, I see her grinning, holding her hand out to me, her brown hair in pigtails…like it was before I was taken….

“I love you, too, farfalla . I’d burn the world to ensure you are always mine….”