Chapter 8

She barely slept—again.Thoughts about what Tyler and Zoe were doing alone in his room haunted her all night. She glanced periodically up at his window, hoping he'd pushed the curtain back open.

He never did. Surely Zoe had gone back home at some point. There was no way Mr. and Mrs. Chapman would allow her to stay over.

But Tyler kept the curtains drawn regardless.

Rory now sat on the bus, dozing off and on despite how rowdy the rest of the soccer team was as they traveled to their last game. Avalon was a thirty-minute drive away—not nearly long enough for Rory to get in a quality nap. Exhaustion seeped into her bones, and the piercing noises of her teammates screaming Taylor Swift lyrics didn't help in the slightest. She should be screaming along with them, celebrating their last game together ever.

But after yesterday, she didn't feel like celebrating. To be honest, she didn't even feel like getting out of bed this morning.

The bus hit a bump, causing Rory's head to bang against the window next to her. She groaned and rubbed her head. She'd been told her whole life that senior year was the best, that high school was supposed to be the "best years" of her life. So why then did she feel so miserable? And why was it over a guy she didn't even like that way?

Gina plopped down next to Rory, shoving her in the ribs. "What's up with you, Michaels? You're usually the one belting ‘Cruel Summer' louder than all of us."

"Didn't get much sleep," Rory grumbled.

"Is it because of yearbook?"

Rory sighed. Right, yearbook. She still had that to worry about too.

"Yeah, just…feeling nervous," Rory lied.

"Oh come on, you?" Gina said. "You're, like, the most confident person I know."

Rory snorted. "Me? Really?"

"Yes, really. The way you demanded colored pencils and then blew them away in less than ten minutes? That's boss bitch energy."

She chuckled. "You know, you really should have considered being a cheerleader, you're good at it."

Gina shoved her again. "Nah, I like grass stains too much, apparently."

The bus rolled to a stop as they pulled into the parking lot. Coach Konicki started belting from the front of the bus, telling them to turn off the music and get their heads in the game.

"I'm going to miss this," Rory admitted.

To her surprise, Gina reached for her hand and squeezed it. "Yeah, me too. Let's make it count."

* * *

They did.It was halftime, and already they were dominating six to zero. Avalon didn't stand a chance with the energy they'd brought from Haverport.

Rory huddled up with her team, sweaty with dirt-covered knees as she listened to Coach's plays for the rest of the game. Despite their massive lead, he wasn't backing down on the intensity. He was determined to give the seniors an excellent last game, and they were all about it. No mercy. It made Rory grin.

Helen led them in their final halftime cheer before breaking the huddle. Rory screamed at the top of her lungs with the rest of them, tears streaming down her cheeks. After a fierce team group hug, Rory let her eyes wander over to the stands on the other side of the field.

Her heart leapt when she saw Melanie bolt up from her seat, cheering loudly. Rory held up her arms and cheered back, so happy to see her friend. She wasn't sure anyone would come to cheer her on, especially because it was a decent drive from home. But there she was, sitting down next to a familiar group, the sight of them making her tear up all over again. Blake sat next to her wearing his Scoops hat, but it was the sight of what Tyler wore that made her keel over with laughter.

Tied at the top of his head was a lime green handkerchief, just like the one she donned at his games.

She shook her head, pretending to throw a football in his direction, which he stood up to catch. He then yelled for Rory to kick ass. She shaped a heart with her hands and held it up, proud of the way the Homecoming King openly swore in front of everyone with no shame.

So okay…maybe they were still best friends. Maybe she was being ridiculous about the whole thing. Her heart swelled at the sight of her friends in the stands, even when she didn't ask them to come.

But her spirits dimmed slightly as she scanned the crowd, searching for the one person who wasn't there. It seemed Gabi couldn't get out of her diner shift. Standard.

She'd disappointed her. Again. And Rory just let it happen to her. Again.

She shook it off, bouncing back and forth and forcing thoughts of her mother out of her head. She wouldn't let the disappointment ruin her last game. Under the sun of another warm November day, she was determined to enjoy every moment.

* * *

After scoringtwo more goals and shaking hands with a defeated-looking team from Avalon, Rory sprinted across the field to hug her friends, forcefully rubbing her sweat all over Blake's face until he screamed for her to get off.

Melanie swung an arm around Rory's shoulders, squeezing tightly. "Has anyone ever told you how incredible you are?"

"Hmmm," she replied, pretending to think about it. "No, please sing my praises."

Blake was still wiping his face. "You're the devil, actually."

Rory cackled and flailed her arms toward him again.

She felt a firm hand slap her back. "Great game, Ry," Tyler said. "You guys ate them alive."

"Thanks, Ty." She grinned up at him. The handkerchief was now around his neck, and he had a tight smile stretched across his face. He looked…nervous.

She frowned. "What?"

"Rory! You were amazing!"

She turned and was surprised to find Zoe standing there, waving at her. She looked…perfect. Her golden hair flowed with the wind alongside the maxi dress she wore, almost like they were paid actors. She looked like an autumn goddess. Rory's uniform, stained with dirt and grass and blood after scraping her knee, seemed even grubbier-looking in comparison.

But Zoe didn't seem to mind the dirt or the grass or the blood as she reached out and pulled Rory into a hug, squeezing her tight. Rory froze, her arms by her side, eyes wide as she looked at Tyler. He curled his lips in to hold back a laugh.

"Um, hi, thank you," Rory mumbled.

Zoe jumped back. "God, sorry! I should have asked if you liked hugs."

"She likes hugs," Blake blurted. "Too much, actually."

Rory gave him the finger.

"Sorry I could only make it for the second half. I was just so excited Tyler asked me to come today," Zoe said. "He talks about you guys a lot…It feels a little like I'm hanging out with celebs right now."

Rory lifted an eyebrow in Tyler's direction. "You talk about us a lot, huh?"

Tyler looked flustered. "Um, only because we all work together, you know?"

"Admit it," Blake sang. "You're obsessed with us."

Melanie squeezed her hands together. "Can't live without us."

"Alright, stop," Tyler said, looking embarrassed. "Fine, I may talk about you occasionally—"

"Constantly," Zoe interrupted. "I think obsessed is an understatement."

"Even more obsessed than his constant need to do bicep curls?" Rory asked, shoving Tyler in the stomach. He feigned being hurt as he clutched his side.

"Oh no, that obsession runs deep," Zoe teased.

Rory chuckled. Zoe really was so nice. And surprisingly funny. It was kind of hard to hate her.

She eyed the two of them, taking note of their body language. No holding hands or arms around shoulders or waists. They kept a friendly distance. She wondered if Tyler did that on purpose, if he felt embarrassed to show affection in front of the rest of them. This would be the first girl Tyler ever brought into the group. Jay was constantly cycling through women and wasn't afraid to get handsy around the Scoopers whenever the opportunity presented itself. But for Tyler, this was a whole new thing.

"Michaels, let's go!" Helen yelled from across the field. Even after their last game, it seemed Helen was going to squeeze every ounce of her last few moments as bossy team captain.

Rory gave her a thumbs-up, watching as Helen's eyes flicked between Tyler and Zoe. She watched as Zoe gave her a shy smile, like extending kindness to someone as bossy as Helen was second nature.

Helen's gaze finally fell on Rory, her eyes narrowing in a glare.

"Seems I am being summoned," Rory said, turning back to the group.

Melanie pulled her into a big hug again. "Proud of you."

Her chest tightened. This was the first time she was seeing Melanie since she'd spent a week in bed. Rory didn't reach out to her once. She felt like the dirt caked at the bottom of her cleats.

"Looks like I'm not the only one who loves hugs," she teased, trying to make light of the situation.

Melanie laughed, and Rory looked over at Tyler, who was smiling down at her. Tyler, whose hand was now interlaced with Zoe's, his thumb stroking back and forth.

She sunk back and thanked her friends again, then sprinted toward her team. Meeting his friends, holding hands…it really shouldn't be a big deal to her. Not when it was her idea they move on.

* * *

Rory came downthe steps wearing white jeans, a navy crop top, and a matching bandana on her head, her mahogany hair silky and running down her back. It was a team tradition to meet for a girls' night after the last game of the year. Which was a not-so-secret code for massive party.

She hadn't been sure what would be worse—going home to a very guilty-looking Gabi or to an empty house. Yet when she'd unlocked the door and found the space dark and cold, she'd been somewhat thankful that she could take a little longer in the shower and bathroom getting ready. Most days Gabi rushed in and out of the house between shifts, getting dolled up for her bartending gig, which seemed to require a tighter shirt, a push-up bra, and a lot of eyeliner. Without Gabi hogging the space, she'd been able to take her time.

But now, as she descended the steps and noticed the light was on in the kitchen, she wished she hadn't taken as long upstairs so she could have avoided whatever conversation was about to unfold.

Her mother stood by the table looking as guilty as predicted. Rory went for the coat rack in silence and shrugged on her jean jacket. She lifted her car keys off the hook by the door, then finally, when she couldn't avoid it anymore, walked past Gabi and unplugged her phone from where it was charging on the kitchen counter.

When she slowed, Gabi spoke. "I'm so sorry, sweetie."

A dark rumble escaped Rory's chest as she chuckled and shook her head. It had been a mistake to think that Gabi would show up. To think Gabi would be proud of who her daughter was now instead of only focusing on who she wanted her to be in the future.

She knew she should be grateful that her mother was working so hard to prepare for her future. But after years and years of the same story, she felt bitter. Part of her didn't even want the money or to go to college, just to prove a point.

"Please," Gabi pleaded. "Try to understand."

"I've been trying to understand for years," she said coolly. "And yet, it never seems to make sense."

"What doesn't make sense?"

"How a mother can care so little about her daughter."

Gabi looked flustered. "Everything I do is for you."

"No," she said, her blood boiling in her veins. She desperately wanted to scream. "Everything you do is for a version of me that you hope for. Not the version of me that you have."

Her mouth fell open. She stammered, unable to form sentences.

So, Rory did it for her, digging the knife even deeper. "I must be such a disappointment to you. I'm not bookish or going to Yale. I'm never going to be your best friend like Lorelai is to Rory. So maybe you shouldn't have had me at all."

That must have struck a chord, because Gabi's face went stark white at her words. She didn't bother to wait for her response, flinging open the front door and heading for her car.

Wiping away her tears, Rory grabbed her phone and pressed Call on a recent number.

He answered after two rings.

"Hi," she said, her voice hoarse.

"Rory," Jay said. "Baby, what's wrong?"