Chapter 17

Tyler didn't showup at all the following week at school. Not seeing him in person was eating at Rory from the inside out. After their phone call, he ignored her texts and kept denying her calls. By day three, she stopped Zoe in the hall, feeling all kinds of shame that she had to find out how her best friend was doing through his girlfriend.

Zoe was gracious and said he still wasn't well, but that she was delivering his schoolwork to him each day so he didn't fall behind. "He won't see me either," she admitted to Rory. "I've only seen his mom."

Her anxiety with each passing day swelled to an all-time high, and it didn't help that Jay was officially home for his winter break and wanted to hook up with Rory—constantly. She'd tried distancing herself from him, saying she was busy with yearbook meetings or that she had homework that needed to be finished. But that didn't stop him from finding opportunities to surprise her, waiting by her car when she was delirious from looking at spreads for hours in a dark computer lab, or knocking on her door far too late on a weeknight. He'd wrap her in his arms and kiss her deeply.

It was the Thursday after the game, and Jay was pulling her down onto the couch. His hands were roaming to places they hadn't yet, and it made her nervous.

She stopped him. "Jay, come on."

He groaned. "Rory, baby, I want you. Don't you get that?"

"I know," she whispered.

Rory tried pushing off those new feelings for her best friend. Tyler had cut her out of his life, and the idea of telling him how she felt would only make him leaving for college that much worse. So, she distracted herself with yearbook and school assignments and Jay's hands and mouth, hoping that those feelings would eventually drift away.

Jay traced a finger down her neck. "Don't you want me, too?"

Before she could answer, the lock on the door clicked. Jay bolted upright and fixed himself, flinging his arm over Rory innocently. She just sat there in a daze, looking at the microwave clock. It was 9:32 at night. Why was her mother getting home so early?

Gabi stepped into the house, eyeing her and Jay suspiciously as she closed the door behind her. "Well hello, I didn't expect company this late at night."

Jay jumped up, holding out his hand. "Jay Sanchez. I'm sorry for coming around unannounced."

Gabi eyed Rory before shaking Jay's hand. "It's alright. But if you don't mind—"

"I'm gone," he said, grabbing his jacket from the kitchen chair and looking back at Rory. "See you Saturday?"

She nodded, her heart twisting in her chest thinking about being at the Festival of Lights with the Scoopers…but probably without Tyler. He was radio silent in their group chat as they made plans to meet up and watch the parade together.

Gabi took a seat on the couch, her eyes still on Rory. "Please tell me I didn't interrupt something."

"You did," Rory admitted with a heavy sigh. "But honestly, it's okay."

"Trouble in paradise?"

"Just…trouble seeing it as paradise?"

"Ah," Gabi said, flicking off her sneakers. "Do you still like him?"

Tears pricked her eyes. She glanced away so she wouldn't notice. She really didn't want to explain all of this to her mother. It wasn't like she'd ever be around to help her with any of it.

Her silence must have spoken for itself, because Gabi let out a long breath before continuing. "I know you hate that I'm not home much, but I'm here whenever you're ready to talk to me."

"What if you don't like what I have to say?"

"Impossible, sweetie."

No, it's not, she told herself. Gabi would flip if she knew what she was really up to…like learning the true identity of her father, even though every attempt to find him always came to a dead end.

She sniffled and discreetly wiped away her tears.

"Rory, have you applied for schools yet?"

She froze, her body going cold. With the craziness of joining yearbook and everything going on with Tyler and Jay, she'd let the deadlines for applying to colleges conveniently slip by. The idea of actually submitting an application made her nauseous. What she really wanted was to take a year off, figure out what she wanted to do with her life. But she was afraid to admit that truth. She'd spent years watching her mother come home looking exhausted night after night.

"Um, yes," she lied. "I have."

Gabi beamed, jostling Rory's arm. "This is great news! Where? Tell me everything. Maybe we could schedule some college visits this spring."

Rory frowned. "You'll take off of work?"

"Of course! We'll have a road trip, doesn't that sound fun?"

No, she thought. But Gabi looked so happy. She didn't want to squash it. "I applied for UCONN."

"Of course, a good safety school," she said. "Where else?"

She wanted to balk at her mother's use of the term "safety school." At this point, Rory would be thankful if UCONN even let her in. She wasn't exactly known for being a brainiac.

She quickly racked her mind thinking of the other schools her teammates talked about applying for, listing them off. "Quinnipiac and…Northeastern."

"Northeastern! Wow, Boston. That would be such a fun place to visit."

Rory nodded, desperate to change the subject. "Why are you home so early?"

"Wilson's asked if I would work the stand at the festival tomorrow," Gabi said, her voice almost giddy with excitement. "I said yes, but only if I could go home early and hang out with my daughter."

A smile bloomed on Rory's face. "Really?"

"Really," she said. "Now, where are you on your Disney list?"

She snatched her phone and pulled up the list. "The Jungle Book. I was also going to throw a frozen pizza in the oven."

"Screw that, I ordered from Penny's already. Is the buffalo chicken pizza still your favorite, or am I about to embarrass myself?"

It technically wasn't her favorite anymore, but she didn't care. After the week from hell—and the big fat lie she just cooked up—Rory was happy to finally have one thing go right. "Yeah, it is."

* * *

Rory shuffleddown the hall that Friday, feeling every ounce of dread in her chest. Tyler wasn't at school—again—and he still wasn't talking to her. Jay was also being cryptic in his texts, and she wondered if it had anything to do with her not agreeing to go all the way with him yet. Jay said he wanted to change, but what if all of this was a ruse to get in Rory's pants? Just like he did with all the other girls she watched parade through his life.

The scent of roses and vanilla distracted her as she opened up her locker, coming from a tall, concerned-looking blonde who settled next to her.

Rory grabbed her coat and closed her locker. "Still no word from him?"

Zoe shook her head. "I've never seen him this sad. I-I don't know what to do."

She shoved her coat in the crook of her arm. "Yeah well, you can't go wrong with food when it comes to Tyler. That's always the way to his heart."

"I'll keep that in mind," Zoe replied, her face still full of concern. "Hey, do you, um, have a minute?"

Rory felt the familiar tightening in her chest. "I have to meet with Vanessa about yearbook stuff—"

"Seriously, it will only take a minute."

Rory huffed. "Fine, what's up?"

"Not here."

Rory followed her down the hall and into the girls' bathroom. They casually checked their hair and makeup, waiting for other girls to leave, before Zoe turned to her. "Okay, I need to tell you something, and it's going to sound really freaking strange."

"Uhhhh, okay?"

Zoe took a deep breath, running a hand through her hair nervously before staring back at Rory. "So, you know I'm dating Tyler."

Rory frowned. "No shit."

"Okay so what if…what if I told you that it wasn't actually real?"

She didn't respond, just stared at the girl, flabbergasted.

Zoe continued. "I know it sounds insane."

"Wait, you're not actually dating him?" Rory blurted. The room was starting to spin.

"Correct."

She felt anger bubbling up in her chest. "Okay, and does he know that? Are you just playing him? Because I swear to god, Zoe, if you are—"

Zoe placed her hands on Rory's shoulders. "He's in on it, don't worry. I would never do that to him."

"I'm-I'm so confused."

"I know…everything," she says. "I know that you guys kissed, that he's in—"

"Stop," Rory said, wrenching out of Zoe's grasp.

"I know how he feels for you, Rory."

"Okay, so then tell me why he hasn't done anything about it?" she demanded. "If he does like me, then why is he still keeping up this facade with you? Why haven't you broken things off?"

"I've told him that we should," Zoe admitted. "Ever since he kissed you, I told him to go for it. But he hasn't. He says he doesn't want to break our…deal."

"And what is your deal?"

Zoe pressed her lips into a firm line. Apparently knowing the "deal" was going too far.

"If you're not going to tell me what's really going on, then what was the point in telling me at all?"

"Because I don't want you to give up on him. I wanted you to know the truth."

She was crying now. "Am I supposed to thank you?"

"No, I'm sorry, Rory. If I knew when we started things, I would have never done this to you."

Rory scoffed, crossing her arms. "Yeah right. Let me guess, this is just some scheme to keep up with your Haverport High royalty status. Probably to make that asshole Walker jealous or something."

Zoe's face darkened. "Fine, make your assumptions about me. But I'm telling you right now that whatever you're thinking is probably false. I just wanted you to know the truth, even though Tyler will hate me for it. Because we're friends."

Rory couldn't help herself—she laughed. "We're friends?"

Zoe just gave her an icy stare. "Not anymore," she answered, and then stormed out of the bathroom.