Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

SEREN

I ’m standing in front of the mirror, wrestling with my necklace clasp, when my phone rings. Just one push and the clasp will click into place. But as the phone starts to ring again, I set the damned thing aside and answer, just in case it’s an emergency.

It’s an unknown number. Great.

“Hello?” I answer politely. It could be work-related, after all.

After ten seconds of silence, I switch to speaker mode, ready to snap at whoever is on the other end when an automated voice drones out: “Hello, this is a courtesy reminder about your scheduled procedure tomorrow at Early Options Clinic in Brooklyn.”

My heart drops as the voice continues about pre-procedure protocols. I squeeze my eyes shut, guilt tightening in my gut. I push the choker to the side. I don’t think I can wear it tonight.

“It is recommended to have a support person accompany you for the procedure and assist with transportation home afterward.”

That last line brings another wave of guilt.

Not telling Jane about the pregnancy and the procedure feels like too big a secret to hide from my best friend, but I won’t be able to handle her pity or her questions.

The guilt of ending a life stabs at my conscience.

It’s unfair. I shouldn’t be pregnant. It was just one time with someone who never gave a damn about me. While I struggled, he claimed his alpha position and had his mating ceremony weeks later. His life has continued uninterrupted, while I’m stuck making life-altering decisions alone with a gun to my head.

Thirteen to fourteen weeks is my last window for a safe procedure. After that, it’s too risky.

It’s unfair I get only a week to decide.

My eyes prickle with tears as my mind conjures an image of a baby. I’ve wanted a family all my life, but can’t have it with a Blackwood. I just can’t. And I’m sure Vanessa is pregnant already. Werewolf pregnancies always start within days of the mating ceremony. The pack must be celebrating.

I can’t even imagine calling anyone there to tell them I’m another woman pregnant with the alpha’s child.

I know exactly what they’ll think of me: I’m just the mistress, the side chick, the alpha’s knocked-up servant.

I run my hands through my hair, exhaling a deep breath. I need to stop considering other people’s opinions whenever I think about being pregnant.

By tomorrow evening, it will be like this never happened .

A message buzzes on my phone and I check, expecting it to be another reminder from the clinic. I sigh when I see Jane’s name.

Outside your mansion in five. ”

I exhale another deep breath, shaking my head before touching up my lipstick.

I need to mingle. Build contacts. Be open. Smile.

As I’m spritzing some perfume on, I notice the fresh bunch of lavender in my old blue coffee mug and I smile. Something new, but it’s already familiar.

With the necklace gone, I switch my earrings to the bigger statement pieces I originally bought with the dress, grab my purse, and head downstairs.

My stomach sinks as I see Jane and Gunner in the back of an olive-green Beetle—and they’re not alone.

They have another blind date for me.

I can’t even be angry anymore.

I force a smile, my shoulders slumping as I glance at my friends in the backseat before sitting shotgun. “Sorry, I hope I didn’t make you guys wait long.”

“Whoa, Seren, you’re looking fierce tonight,” Jane gushes from the backseat, her voice dripping with exaggerated awe.

I roll my eyes, my lips twitching with the effort to suppress a groan.

Gunner greets me warmly before Jane places her palm on my shoulder, whispering, “Sorry it’s last minute,” before turning to the stranger behind the wheel .

“Ethan works on the same floor as me at Carter & Thorne. And Ethan, this is Seren, my ride-or-die.” Jane moves back with a quick, “Now that you two know each other, I’m bowing out. I need my power nap.”

I feel smoke coming out of my ears until I hear a soft chuckle.

“A candy for your worries?” His smile is warm, but as I take in his features, I’m struck by his deep olive-green eyes and easy charm. He leans over, revealing a glove compartment full of colorful candies. He pulls out one for himself, popping it instantly into his mouth.

He looks nothing like a lawyer.

I sort through the choices, picking a blueberry gummy bear. He chuckles again, sticking out his tongue at me. A colorful imprint of the candy is stained on it.

I feel a little lighter as we start our drive to the event.

“So, where are you from?” he asks as we move onto the narrow streets. It’s a simple question, but I don’t have an answer. I don’t remember where I was born or spent the first years of my life. But Blackwood for sure is not home.

Noticing my hesitation, he quickly switches the question. “Or wait, scratch that. Where would your home be if you could choose anywhere on this planet?”

I turn to stare at him. Is he really that responsive to my feelings?

That little thoughtfulness catches me off guard. I smile and decide to make a genuine effort for once.

“Somewhere I could see the Northern Lights from my bedroom window,” I reply, popping my blueberry gummy bear into my mouth .

He glances at me briefly with a wide smile. “Imagine having that and then traveling to New York for a holiday.”

“I’d probably spend that money taking skateboarding lessons instead…or ice skating,” I reply.

“Interesting choices.” His green eyes rake over me again.

“I’ve never been into sports, but now that I’ve been working out…”

Jane chimes in from behind us, “Three months. First time in her life.”

I roll my eyes without turning around. “One can develop an interest at any point…” I’m mid-sentence when I notice the amused look on Ethan’s face and I forget what I was about to say.

We enter the charity gala together, but I excuse myself and head straight to my boss. At the end of the day, I’m here for a purpose.

William is extremely warm. We spend a few minutes with his wife before we do rounds of the place. He makes it a point to introduce me to several policymakers in the government, senior members of regulatory agencies, and people from key investment banks.

As we make the rounds, I mull over the possibility of actually engaging and negotiating with policymakers and regulators instead of filing documents and running between court hearings. If I build a solid relationship with these guys I just met, that’s something I could do full-time.

I suddenly realize this is what William meant when he talked about finding my niche.

My mood turns upbeat once I have that realization. I introduce him to Jane, Gunner, and Ethan before the lights dim and music starts playing.

“Want to feel awkward in the middle of the room?” Ethan asks as most people get on the dancefloor.

I giggle. “How about we do that right where we are instead of rubbing elbows with strangers?”

“Oh! But I was looking forward to those elbow rubs.”

“I think we should save that for your car,” I reply with a laugh.

“Look at you, making plans for us for later. I think this blind date is already a big success.”

I gasp, staring at him with wide eyes. He puts his hands up. “Just kidding. But we could dance, though.”

I agree and we slowly start swaying to the soft music.

Ethan keeps saying silly things and making me laugh. I feel like confessing that I’ve never really ever had a date. Ever. And this is the first time I’m dancing in the middle of a gathering of a hundred people, where anyone could see us together, and he doesn’t mind.

When the music swells, he even dips me, helping me up later with ease. I can’t stop smiling.

The entire evening is perfect.

Later, Jane and Gunner take a cab while Ethan insists on driving me home. Since it’s late, I agree.

Everything is great until we pull up outside my building and he suddenly asks, “What are you doing tomorrow?”

My body freezes .

I must’ve taken too long to answer since he says, “Or maybe tonight could be like our Northern Lights holiday. Tomorrow, we get back home to our daily grind with just a few selfies to show for it.”

I don’t know if it’s the hormones, but my eyes tear up.

“Are you okay?” He looks at me, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

“I’m three months pregnant.” I blurt it out without preamble.

“Wow! That’s huge. Does your friend know about it?”

I shake my head. “I discovered it a week back. I…I don’t know what to do. The father doesn’t want me. He got married two months back. I’m not even sure if I can keep it. I just…”

He leans in closer, gently pushing the hair away from my face and neck. I take a deep breath.

As more tears gather in my eyes, I suck in a few more breaths. “I haven’t had time to even process, but I need to get the procedure done by tomorrow or it’ll be too risky. Like how do I even decide if I keep or let go of a life in only a few days?”

He glances at the dark road for a while before turning to me and handing me a Kleenex. “It sure sounds difficult, but how about you try an experiment.”

I frown, wiping my face.

“Do you have a bathtub?”

I nod.

“So go inside, draw yourself a bath, kick back with some ginger ale, and close your eyes. For five minutes, imagine your life with a baby one year down the line, and then imagine it without. You’ll have your answer.”

“I feel like I’ve wasted so much of your time,” I tell him as I unbuckle my seatbelt.

“Don’t be silly.”

He jots down his number on a fresh Kleenex and hands it over to me. “Text, call, leave a singing voicemail whenever you feel like it. It would be nice to take another holiday if you’re up for it.”

At two in the morning, I text Jane in tears:

I’m going to be a mom.