1. Trig

Chapter 1

Trig

Who even wears bow ties anymore? I tugged at the ends for the thousandth time, trying to make it straight, but…no dice. That thing was gonna be cockeyed, and that was that. I took a step back and looked at myself one more time in the mirror before fully backing out of the bathroom. In my dramatic backward exit, I didn't realize Garin was right behind me, and I walked right into him.

"Dude!" His hands wrapped around my waist, steadying himself and me. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that." I took a split second to appreciate his hands on me before stepping out of his grip. I shouldn't have been enjoying his touch the way I did, but that never stopped me. He didn't mean anything by it, something I constantly needed to remind myself in situations like that. "Sorry about that. I wasn't paying attention."

"I can see why." He waggled his eyebrows as he looked me up and down. "You're looking sharp, Trig. Hot date?"

I rolled my eyes and tugged on the bow tie one more time. "I'm attending a wedding tonight. Like I am for pretty much the entire summer…"

It was wedding season, and I hated it. I wasn't anti-love or anything like that. But the whole notion of putting on a huge event just so you could share something as personal as promising to be together for always and then eating dry chicken you had to claim was delicious before you could dance to crappy music? Yeah, none of that did it for me.

Garin laughed and shook his head. "That doesn't sound so bad. Weddings are fun. And cake."

He had a point. There was cake, and usually it wasn't half bad.

"Yeah, I guess, but they're more fun when I can wear normal clothes and not some stupid-ass baby noose around my neck."

Garin reached up and straightened my tie yet again. He was close enough that I could smell the most inviting aroma of sweat and deodorant from his recent run. Fuck, he smelled good. "Bow ties are hot." He leaned back and winked. "Especially on you."

I almost whimpered, but it came out as a cleared throat instead. He couldn't know how I felt about him. We had a good thing going, and I refused to ruin it over a crush. If you could call being madly in love with your roomie who didn't feel the same way in return a crush. "Thanks."

"Well, have fun." He turned and backed away. "Hope you get lucky!"

And the worst damn part was that he totally meant that. He wanted me to find someone and have a good time. I couldn't say that I would feel the same way if he were going out on a date. Not even close. If he were in my shoes, I'd be crossing my fingers and toes he didn't get lucky, or at least that he didn't tell me about it if he did.

I stood there in the hallway, watching him walk into his bedroom. "Hey, what are your plans for tonight?" Why did I even ask these things? I was just torturing myself. Sharing an apartment with my best friend didn't make my life any easier. I thought spending so much time together might help me to get sick of him, but I was wrong.

I just wanted to spend even more time with him. Preferably, naked and sweaty and private. Unless he was into being watched. In that case, I'd reevaluate the private clause. Anything to be with him. Really, I needed to get a grip.

Garin walked out of his bedroom less than a minute later, totally naked, and he approached me.

Holy shit, did I say that naked part out loud?

My eyes stayed on his face as I stood completely frozen, not sure what was happening.

"I'm not doing much. I'll probably watch a couple games and order a pizza. Definitely no chance of me getting lucky tonight." He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed as he passed by and walked into the bathroom. The door shut, and a moment later, the water in the shower turned on.

I stood there like a fool, trying to remember how to breathe until I got myself together and headed toward the front door. I needed to get out of here and inhale some fresh air. His scent never ceased to take away my ability to function.

He could think what he wanted, but there was no way I was getting lucky tonight. I wasn't sure I'd ever get lucky again. Sure, omegas still approached me, but none of them were ever good enough. It was impossible to be when I was going home to Garin.

He might not have been mine, but I refused to settle for less than my alpha wolf.

Besides, I wasn't out partying at a wedding for my friends or family. I was working. When I first started taking jobs with Alpha For Hire, it was amazing. I'd get hired by cute omegas and sometimes those jobs would lead to a quickie in a car or back room, and there was usually a nice tip at the end. Things were great. Or at least I convinced myself they were. That was when I was still in denial, when I had myself convinced that I didn't actually like Garin as more than a friend.

That period didn't last long.

And lately, I'd felt less and less interested in other guys, until it landed smack dab in the middle of having no interest at all. My body still responded to omegas when I came across them, but I didn't know if I'd ever find one who made me come alive and feel things from just a glance the way Garin did.

I, for sure, knew I didn't want to.

There was just something about Garin that made it physically hurt when I was away from him. I couldn't describe it any other way than being very similar to a magnetic pull.

Justice, my identical twin brother, recently found his omega, and the way he described his connection to Kaz was similar to how I felt about Garin. Only difference was, with the two of them, they both felt it. My brother was one lucky bastard, and he knew it.

Since Garin and I were both alphas, if the only way to be with him was to forgo having children, I would do it. Especially if it meant I could be with the man I was pretty sure I was destined for. Why wouldn't I? Love was love.

But since neither one of us was ever making a move, I was probably gonna forgo a family anyway.

I shook my head, trying to get out of my spiral. My problems would still be there when I got home from my job. Right now, it was time to slap on a happy face and be the best damn wedding date ever.