Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Cedara

My legs are starting to cramp, but I don't want to stretch them out. I'm still curled under the throw that Barrett draped over me, and I'm holding it to me like a shield.

I clutch it tighter around me as Casey and Edirn stand in the living room, their presence making me increasingly uneasy. The bristly she-wolf has been less than friendly since I arrived here, and I don't like being this vulnerable in front of her.

"Can I…get dressed?" I ask hesitantly, glancing toward the bedroom.

Casey's eyes narrow. "Sure, but don't try any funny business." Her tone is clipped, sharp edges to each word.

Edirn places a calming hand on her arm. "A little gentleness, Casey." His rasping voice is a low counterpoint to her bristly demeanor.

She shoots him a look but relaxes slightly at his touch. With a curt nod, she gestures toward the hallway.

I rise carefully, clutching the throw around me, and make my way to the bedroom to find some clothes.

Once inside, I pace back and forth across the bedroom floor, trying to calm the anxious flutter inside me. Casey's bad attitude has me on edge, but I force myself to take deep breaths and center myself.

You can do this, Cedara. Just relax!

The room is decorated in soothing hues of white and cream, and as I look around it, my gaze falls on the rumpled bedsheets of the unmade bed. A flush warms my cheeks as memories of last night flood my mind. Barrett's strong arms around me, his lips trailing heat across my skin, the way our bodies moved together as one…

God…that was so good.

I shiver, equal parts desire and disbelief coursing through me. How did I succumb to him so quickly? I've never been one for casual sex, but I just couldn't resist him. Being so close, his lips on mine…it had left me light-headed. And God, I'd wanted him so badly. Enough to overcome all rational thought.

Was that the bond talking?

Could he really be my mate? The concept is too incredible to be true, and yet… I can't deny the profound connection I feel with him.

Closing my eyes, I recall the raw emotion in his stare when he told me about our bond. The conviction in his voice left no room for doubt. And the more I reflect on it, the more it feels like it might be true.

A bond…a mate bond…

We wolves were designed to pair up. To produce young. To love forever. I've witnessed mated pairs among my own kind before – the depth of devotion, the sacred trust, the beauty of two souls intertwined. It's something I've always dreamed of finding for myself one day.

If Barrett is my mate, would that be such a bad thing? I like him. I like so much about him. His quiet strength, his steadfast courage, his unwavering protectiveness… And he's gentle with it. I feel safe with him. Not to mention that he's easy on the eye.

Understatement of the year, Cedara!

I replay the memories of last night again, picturing his body, the way his muscles flexed and rippled beneath my exploring hands. Yes, he would make an exceptional mate; I can't deny it.

And my wolf seems to recognize this, too. The way she instinctively trusts him, finds comfort in his presence… It's as if some deeper part of me has already accepted him as my destined partner.

So why am I fighting it?

Am I actually fighting it? Because it's only my head that has a problem with this concept. The rest of me – my heart, my body, the wolf – those parts seem to have accepted him without question.

Drawing a steadying breath, I move to gather some clothes when there's a thumping at the door.

"What's taking you so long?" The voice of the she-wolf has me jumping.

At the sound, I feel a surge of instinctive defensiveness rise within me. My hands curl into fists, and I find myself crouching as if to lunge forward. My eyes flash to the mirror, and I gasp – my irises are glowing with an eerie, wolf-like luminescence.

Shit! No!

It can't be happening again! I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing myself to take deep, calming breaths. I picture Barrett's face, his warm smile, the gentle strength in his eyes. The thought of him soothes the beast within me, and I feel the animal energy start to subside. I sigh with relief.

"I'm coming," I call out, proud that my voice sounds steady.

I dress quickly, pulling on a soft sweater and jeans. With one last glance in the mirror to ensure I'm fully human again, I rejoin Casey and Edirn in the living room, reclaiming my spot on the chair near the window. Right now, it feels like a promise of freedom that's just out of reach.

Edirn's gaze finds mine, his expression inscrutable yet somehow reassuring. Casey, on the other hand, eyes me with unveiled suspicion, her lips pressed into a thin line. I want to growl at her.

Barrett. Think of Barrett.

"What's going on?" I ask, addressing them both. "Why did Jagger want to speak with Barrett?"

Casey's eyes narrow further. "Maybe you already know."

I frown at her insinuation. What is she implying?

"Are you trying to say that… That I'm somehow involved in…whatever it is that's happening?"

She shrugs. "No idea. You tell me."

The unease rising within me triggers another flare of defensive instinct. I can feel my wolf straining against my control, her hackles raising at the perceived threat.

No, I can't lose it now!

Panicked, I glance at Edirn, and he seems to read the silent plea in my eyes.

"Think of Barrett," he murmurs, so low I barely catch the words. It's like he's echoing my thoughts, knows exactly what I need. I latch onto the thought, picturing his face, the solidity of his embrace. It isn't long before I feel myself steadying.

Still, I breathe a sigh of relief when the tension is broken by the arrival of my mother and Aunt Juliette.

"You can't come in here!" Casey snaps. Her objection falls on deaf ears. They bustle into the apartment, all bright smiles and cheerful chatter, completely oblivious to the charged atmosphere between Casey and me.

"We brought snacks!" Mom announces brightly, holding up a tray laden with an assortment of finger foods. Aunt Juliette follows close behind, carrying a pitcher of what looks like fresh lemonade.

Casey scowls, clearly displeased by the intrusion, but she doesn't protest as the two older women begin setting out the food and drinks on the coffee table.

"Come now, Casey," Aunt Juliette scolds gently. "No need for such a sour face. You look like you could use something to nibble on."

Her playful tone lifts my mood immediately. My aunt has always been the life and soul of any gathering. She catches my eye and winks conspiratorially.

Edirn, ever the peacekeeper, rises to help them get settled. "Thank you, ladies. This looks wonderful."

Mom smiles at him before turning her attention back to me. "How are you feeling today, baby?" She clasps my hands in her warm grip.

"A lot better. Really." I keep my voice firm, determined to reassure her. "I'm so sorry that happened, Mom. I don't know how—"

"Oh, Cedara, we're just happy to have you back safe and sound," she interrupts me. "After you escaped, we were so worried about you."

I escaped…left them…

A pang of remorse lances through me at her words. I squeeze her hands, offering her a reassuring smile. "I'm sorry I put you through that, Mom. I never meant to scare you."

"Nonsense," Aunt Juliette waves a dismissive hand. "We all know you were simply being your brave, stubborn self. When we saw the way you fought off those pigs, even after they'd drugged and beaten you…" She shakes her head in admiration. "I don't know where you get such strength. Your mother, most likely." She beams at Mom, who mirrors her smile.

My cheeks flush at the unexpected praise, and I duck my head, feeling distinctly undeserving. "I…I didn't really do anything that impressive," I murmur. "I just got lucky."

The truth is, I'm riddled with guilt. I'd been utterly powerless to help any of them. All I could do was wander the woods, desperate to find a way to free them but terrified of getting caught again myself.

"Don't be so modest," Mom says lightly. She turns to Casey. "Our Cedara has always been a fighter. You should have seen her as a pup. Tiny thing, but she never backed down from a challenge."

"Remember how she used to wander off all the time?" My aunt's eyes are twinkling.

"Oh, lord, don't remind me! She'd go off on night-time jaunts…sometimes we'd find her miles away. Looking for Mother Moon, she told us."

"Mother Moon." Aunt Juliette chuckles. "It wasn't funny at the time – you'd be beside yourself. Convinced she'd been…taken." The pair share a glance that isn't quite so cheerful anymore. I know what they're thinking about. The fear that haunted us. The ones who would take our women.

"She's just as feisty as she ever was, even if she's little," says my mother.

"I'm not little, Mom," I grumble.

"No…just pocket-sized." She winks at me. "And really feisty," she says to Casey.

I flinch, not particularly eager to have my childhood antics rehashed in front of the bristly she-wolf. But to my surprise, Casey's expression has softened somewhat as she watches our interaction.

"I can see that," she murmurs, giving me an appraising look.

Once more, Mom and Aunt Juliette launch into the tale of their own harrowing escape, describing how Casey had infiltrated the facility to rescue Edirn, only to end up freeing the rest of them in the process.

"She was magnificent," Aunt Juliette gushes. "Risking herself to free us."

"I had a good incentive." Casey slants a look at Edirn. His answering smile is filled with tenderness.

"You saved our lives, Casey. And you too, Edirn. We'll never forget that." My mother has turned serious.

I find myself studying Casey with new eyes as they recount her bravery and skill. The tough exterior that had seemed so off-putting before is revealed as the armor of a true warrior. A newfound respect blossoms within me.

Perhaps there's more to this prickly she-wolf than meets the eye.

"And to top it all, Edirn didn't even recognize her," Aunt Juliette is saying. She slaps him on the arm teasingly. "You were pretty terrifying for a while there."

"He couldn't help it. It was all that shit they pumped into him. I mean…the drugs." Casey looks a little sheepish as she corrects her language. "But he's better now."

"Just like my Cedara will be. Won't you, baby?" Mom's face softens. "You've been alright, haven't you? Since… you know…"

"I'm fine, Mom." I hope that my smile isn't too tight because I feel like a fraud. I'd practically had to leash my wolf before leaving the bedroom a few minutes ago.

"See!" Mom looks triumphant as she beams back at Casey. "She'll be alright…just like Edirn."

Casey doesn't answer, but there's something in her eyes as she fixes them on me now. Something less suspicious.

Is she warming to me?

Does it matter? If the Alpha is still suspicious, there's no telling what my future holds.

Barrett. It needs to hold Barrett.

I listen to the happy chatter, combined with the more clipped response from Casey and Edirn as they discuss recent events. I monitor my reactions carefully, mindful of any sense of losing control. It doesn't happen.

Thank God.

But I'm still overwhelmed with a sense of joy when I catch a familiar scent drawing nearer.

He's coming back!

I'm on my feet and racing to the door, hauling it open before he even gets to it.

"You're back!" I sound so damned eager, but I can't help myself.

"I wasn't gone too long, was I?" Barrett smiles down at me as I plaster myself against him. To hell with what the others may think.

"It felt like forever."

Dramatic much?

He chuckles, then pauses as he looks past me to where the others are sitting, growing serious. "Hello," he says in greeting. "I didn't know we'd be expecting guests today."

He says it as if our circumstances are completely normal: a couple entertaining visitors instead of me being a prisoner and him being my…guardian.

"We thought we'd pop in. See how Cedara's been doing." Mom's on her feet. She comes over to us, puts a hand on Barrett's arm, then reaches up and brushes a chaste kiss on his cheek. "Are you well, Barrett?"

"I'm good, thank you, Sybil." He smiles at the others. "Good to see you, Juliette. Casey, Edirn, I imagine you're anxious to get back to your duties?"

The couple exchange glances and then rise. "Sure," says Casey. "We'll get out of your hair. Good catching up, Juliette… Sybil."

They move toward where we're standing at the door. "See you ‘round, Chord." She eyes Barrett and then smiles at me. It's almost warm. "Take care, Cedara."

Edirn smiles, too – again, there's that strangely knowing expression on his face. They leave, and I'm left standing, staring after them. Somehow, during the course of the morning, they went from seeming like armed guards to being almost…friendly.

"Come, Barrett. Join us," my mother is saying. "Did you eat breakfast? Cedara said you left early."

Barrett strolls into the living room and takes a seat across from Juliette, who's pouring him lemonade. I run an eye over them in confusion. When did things get so normal?

What's wrong with normal?

"Don't just stand there, Cedara. Come sit down." My mother pats the seat beside her. I do as I'm told.

This feels surreal. Drinks and snacks in the living room with family. Chatting casually. Just another day.

I like it.

Maybe I can keep control of my wolf and have more days like this with my family. With Barrett.

Maybe this could be my life.