Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Cedara

No! I can't!

I'm curled up on the examination table, my heart racing as the doctor approaches me with a needle. Memories of my captivity flash through my mind – the cages, the restraints, the fear of never seeing my family again. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to block it out, but it's no use. The scent of antiseptic and the sterile surroundings transport me back to that godawful place.

I can't…I can't!

My breath is coming faster, my lips tingling at the sudden rush of oxygen into my veins. I'm panting.

"It's just the antidote, honey. We gave it to all of them; your whole family got this," the doctor says in a soothing tone, but her words are lost on me. I'm trapped, reliving every moment of terror and helplessness.

A whimper flits past my lips as the doctor reaches for my arm. She's already touched me so much. Too much! She peered down my throat, made me stare into lights, prodded my belly, and listened to my lungs.

It happened before, just like this; all of it! They did it. The men who took us.

I fucking can't!

"It's okay. I'm really good at giving injections," the gentle-faced doctor says. "You won't feel a thing." She raises her hand. Silver glints in the light as the syringe descends.

No!

Panic surges through me, and suddenly, I'm no longer in control. My body shifts, fur sprouting from my skin as my bones contort and reshape. Within seconds, I'm on all fours, a snarl ripping from my throat.

"Honey!" The doctor stumbles backward, her eyes wide with shock. Bounding away from the examination bed, I back into the corner.

She steps forward again, approaching me, and I give a half-lunge in warning. A metal tray filled with gleaming instruments crashes off a nearby table with a clatter.

The doctor stops in her tracks, then cautiously moves away again. "It's okay, Cedara. I'm staying right here." She puts up a hand. I growl in response, a rattling sound that comes from deep within me.

Suddenly, the door swings open, and the woman who brought me here – Casey – is framed by the light that streams in through the doorway.

"What the fuck?" she barks out. I snarl at her, baring my fangs. When she takes a step forward, I snap my jaws viciously. She stops in her tracks and then looks over to where the doctor is pressed up against the wall. "What the hell is going on here?"

"I- I just tried to administer the antidote." The woman looks over at me. I glare back malevolently. My lips curl. I spin my head around to look about me. There's no way out. I'm trapped, caged once again, and the only way I know how to respond is with the wild instincts of the wolf. Reason and humanity have fled, leaving only the instinctive drive for survival. I won't let them hurt me, not again.

Never again!

"Stop this right now," Casey snaps. "This is not how we do things in Steel Lakes! Change to your human form. Now!"

I respond with another threatening growl.

"Dammit! Do as I say!" Her eyes begin to glow, teeth protruding past her lower lip. I pull myself to my full height as I stand off against her. Her fists clench, her shoulders bunching as she angles toward me. I brace myself. I'm ready to fight if I have to.

"Don't do this," a new voice breaks in. "Not like this, Casey." It's the male who'd been with her before. Edirn. He has a hand on her shoulder. At his touch, she immediately softens a little, the tension rushing from her.

"This is not acceptable," she mutters. Edirn is looking at me, an uncanny sharpness in eyes that seem almost too blue.

I don't like this. I don't like any of this. I want… I want…

Barrett.

My next growl has a whining edge to it.

"We should get her family," the doctor says. She's not cowering anymore, but she hasn't moved from where she's standing against the wall. "They'll be able to help."

Edirn is still looking at me. I find myself staring back.

"No," he says eventually, not taking his eyes from my face. "Get Barrett."

Yes!

With a quick nod, Casey turns on her heel and sprints away. Edirn steps into her place, and I snarl at the movement. He lowers his eyes and stays still.

"Don't worry. Those men won't hurt you here." There is a rasp to his voice that is oddly soothing. "Just take it easy."

I eye him with suspicion.

"You can trust us. This is a safe space."

I whine at him. I'm panting again, saliva dripping onto the pristine floor as I fight down my fear. I'm so wound up that it feels as if every muscle and sinew is twisting into knots.

"Be calm," he tells me. "He'll be here soon."

Soon!

I squeeze my eyes shut, then blink them open when a flood of images assails me again. Evil faces. Chains. Cages. A shudder wracks through me.

"There's no evil here. These are good people, Cedara." He's still talking. I fight to keep the panic at bay, but it keeps threatening to consume me. When I catch a movement from the corner of my eye, I spin, a snarl tearing from me.

"The doctor won't hurt you. She's here to help," he says. I've fixed a baleful stare at the woman across the room. The one with the needle.

Needles! No!

"She helped your family, Cedara. They're all waiting for you. It won't be long now." He keeps talking and talking, his voice hypnotic. I let it swirl into my thoughts. For long minutes, it feels like the only thing keeping my sanity in place.

Footsteps pound from nearby.

"Where is she?" The voice is urgent. It's deep and rich and makes my pulse quicken.

Barrett!

He shoves past Edirn in the doorway with such force the man almost flies sideways. "What did you do to her?" he half-shouts at the doctor.

She shrugs uncomfortably. "Just an examination. That's all. Nothing invasive. Wait!" she says sharply as he starts crossing the room. He's not listening. Neither am I. I close the distance between us, crashing into him.

"She's attacking him!" Casey's back in the doorway.

"She's not attacking him," says Edirn. He's right. I'm not. I've pressed myself against Barrett, my head butting against his chest. I'm pretty big for a she-wolf, but he doesn't seem unbalanced by my weight as I lean against him.

He slides an arm over the top of me, a hand sliding through the dense fur over my shoulders. "It's okay. I'm here."

I'm shaking with dissipating tension as I squeeze my eyes shut and nuzzle my face against his him, inhaling the comforting scent of him.

"You can't do that to her," he's saying sharply, probably to the doctor. I can't tell; I still have my eyes closed. "You don't know what she's been through!"

"I'm sorry," the doctor responds. "I really thought I was being as sensitive as possible."

"Not good enough," he mutters, his arm tightening around me.

"What's going on here?" the curt voice of the Alpha breaks in. I feel myself cringing against Barrett. There are too many of them now.

Too many!

"She needs space," Edirn says. "Casey and I will leave you."

"But—" Casey begins.

"Now, my love." He's insistent. I sense them go and find I can breathe again.

"Barrett?" the Alpha presses. "What's going on?"

He stiffens. "She's afraid. That's all. She felt threatened." His hand on me is gentle. "It's alright, Cedara. You don't have to do this here. You're safe."

Safe. I'm safe.

I'm still trembling, my face against his chest. His scent surrounds me, easing the fear that had threatened to consume me. I can hear the hum of voices, but I'm too focused on the steady thump of Barrett's heart to pay much attention to the words.

"…just the stress of everything that's happened," Barrett is saying. "She's going to be fine once she has a chance to settle in."

"I'm not convinced," the Alpha responds. "If she can't control her wolf, she's a danger to everyone here. The injection needs to be given. It's an antidote, for Christ's sake."

My ears prick up at that word. Injection. A chill runs through me as more memories of needles and restraints surface again. I can't go through that again!

I pull back from Barrett, a whine working up from my throat. His hands come up to frame my face, his eyes locking with mine.

"Cedara," he murmurs, "I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you."

But the Alpha's words cut through my panic. "She needs that damn antidote, Barrett. We can't have an uncontrolled wolf running loose in Steel Lakes."

I spin to face the Alpha. He's standing with his arms crossed, his eyes hard. The doctor is beside him; she's moved from her place across the room at some point. The gleaming syringe is clutched in her hand.

No more needles! No!

I growl.

"I'll do it." Barrett straightens, then looks down at me. "Do you trust me?"

Trust him. I trust him.

Yes.

I settle my haunches onto the floor, sitting and looking up at him. When the doctor moves this time, I don't react again. I keep my eyes fixed on Barrett as he reaches for the syringe, then sinks down onto one knee in front of me.

"We need to do this, beautiful," he says softly. I dip my head, trying not to wince when he gathers a handful of flesh beneath my fur. Again, I don't react, sitting as still as I can.

I barely flinch when the needle pierces my skin. This is nothing like the careless jabs and roughness that the others had inflicted. A second later, a warmth floods through me. I feel myself sag. My nerve-endings prickle.

But that's where it stops.

Minutes drag by, and nothing happens.

"How long is this going to take," Jagger's voice is tense.

"This may take some time," the doctor says. "It was different with each of them."

The Alpha huffs out an exasperated breath.

Barrett settles onto the floor, cross-legged beside me, and pulls my head down onto his thigh. "We'll wait as long as it takes."

I lie there with my head in Barrett's lap, his strong fingers gently stroking through my fur. Despite the tense situation just moments ago, I feel a profound sense of peace and safety wash over me. His warmth coats me, comforting and reassuring, and I heave out a sigh.

We wait in silence for the antidote to take effect, for my human form to resurface. But time drags by with no change. A small crease appears between Barrett's brows as he exchanges a glance with the doctor.

Jagger makes a noise of impatience from across the room. "We can't just sit around indefinitely. Her family needs to be brought in on this."

There's a pause and then the sound of his footfalls retreating. A moment later, there are more footsteps, and the door shuts. The doctor has slipped out.

"It's just you and me now, beautiful," Barrett murmurs. "I'm not going anywhere."

A shiver of contentment ripples through me at his words. Slowly, my eyes drift shut as the residual tension melts from my body. Barrett's familiar warmth and steadiness allow me to let go, the last vestiges of fear fading.

I'm vaguely aware of time passing, of the soft cadence of Barrett's breathing. There's nothing else here now. Just Barrett and the quiet whisper of the air from the vents.

And then, a strange tingling begins in my extremities, like my nerves are waking up from a deep sleep. I don't pay it much mind at first, too caught up in the hazy state between wakefulness and slumber. But the prickling intensifies, spreading upward until it reaches the very core of me.

My eyes fly open as a jolt of electricity crackles through every cell. I'm shifting before I know what's happening, my bones crunching and reforming, my skin rippling. It's not painful, not exactly, but it's overwhelming in its intensity. My shifts aren't normally so extreme; I can only imagine it's what they injected me with. I hope that means it's working.

I'm only dimly aware of Barrett's arms coming around me as I'm wracked with spasms, pulling me against his chest. When it's over, when I'm finally still again, I find myself cradled against him, my bare skin pressed to the warm strength of his body. The fabric of his shirt is rough against me.

I blink up at him dazedly. His eyes roam over my face with a tenderness that makes my throat feel tight.

"There you are," he murmurs roughly, standing carefully and pulling me to my feet. I sway slightly, then open my mouth to respond, but I'm silenced by the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Cedara?" My mother's voice cuts through the silence. "Cedara…oh, my baby!"