1. Being Useful

1 BEING USEFUL

A llie

"Look at this human body," the alien growls down at me. "Look how soft, delicate, and breakable you are." Rough, clawed hands run over the bare skin of my flesh, goosebumps rising in their wake.

I am terrified.

It has been a long time since any male touched me, but no male has ever touched me like this before. They have been rough before, cruel before. They have touched me callously and with only their own interest at play. No male has never been powerful and careful at the same time.

Every motion of his hands shows me the incredible power in those lightly flexing digits. He could crush the life out of me in a moment if he wanted to. He is curious about me, his saurian alien gaze raking over every inch of me as if he is committing my body to memory.

I wanted to stay out of this.

I should never have ended up in the hands of this beast.

I'm a simple cleaner. I'm not a pirate. I'm not brave. I'm nobody.

His name is Wrath, and he is the undisputed leader of the saurian underworld, Don of the saurian mafia. He is big, he is brutal, and he is wickedly intelligent in a way that frightens me more than any of his more obviously dangerous characteristics.

I never wanted to put so much as a foot on this planet, but as soon as I did, there was never going to be any escaping him.

Wicked green eyes are observing my every breath, every flicker of my eyes, every move I make. I have not said a word, and still I am revealing myself to him.

"You try to make yourself small," he says. "You try to hide everything you are. But I see it, my little human mate. I know what is inside you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lie.

If this is an interrogation, it is one unlike any other I have ever experienced or heard of. He is not hurting me — not yet, anyway. But he is keeping me in intimate proximity, keeping pressure on me, forcing me to reveal my inner secrets by sheer force of personality.

I am captive in his subterranean lair, a place so deep underground I know I will likely never be found if he does not want me to be. In this warren-like structure of earthen tunnels, his extensive criminal network operates under the nose of proper saurian society.

I take small halting breaths as his hands slide down my belly toward the furred apex of my thighs. His intentions are clear. He is going to explore every part of me, discover my every secret, and leave no part of me unclaimed.

His body is massive, muscular, plated, and incredibly attractive. He is hyper-masculine, incredibly strong. Human men are much stronger than women, but they are weak as kittens compared to this creature. He is so strong that he can easily pick me up in one hand if he wants to.

Brilliant green eyes bore into mine as he catches me inspecting him in return. There is a thick horn on his head, above his brow ridge, and an extended bony protrusion running from the back of his neck down the way over his shoulders. His face is alien, but there is enough humanity in it for me to recognize all his emotions. When he smiles, his lips curl up over impressive teeth.

His skin is silvery with dominance. I know he is older than many of the others of this species who have taken others of my kind. He has a natural authority and gravitas, a certain gravelly demeanor that makes me feel small and younger and vulnerable.

When I look down, I see his huge alien member throbbing with intention. I will not escape this encounter unclaimed.

I didn't think I was innocent anymore. I thought life had done far too many things to me for me to ever consider myself pure in any way. But under the alien gaze of this absolute beast, I realize there is still more innocence left to be stripped from me.

He is going to take everything I have. He is going to consume every bit of me, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.

Not twenty-four hours ago, I could not have imagined this would ever happen to me.

T wenty-four hours ago…

I am scrubbing the floors of the Mare's bilge. Green and black mold likes to build up on the grates and getting it off is a unique nightmare because of the way no brush can ever really get properly into all the little corners unless you spend hours angling it this way and that.

I have spent countless hours doing just that, which means I will forever have to do that or I will know that the ship isn't as clean as it could be which will mean that my very existence is pointless.

Someone steps over me. I'm not sure who. A big, muddy footprint appears on the grate right where I just scrubbed, and all the little indents I just got to shine are covered in fresh muck.

I curse under my breath. Don't know why I bother because it wouldn't matter if I swore at the top of my lungs.

The responsible party is one of the crew who has been down on the planet, obviously. We used to have protocols about not stamping alien filth all around the place, but it's safe to say things have gotten a little slack around this pirate ship.

There's a handful of us left, and most of those left are running reconnaissance, attempting to find some way to get those of us who have been captured back. Captain Lettie is waging war on the saurians, but there's a limit to how much war you can wage when the object of the conflict is to recover people from the surface.

I finish up my chores and go back to my private nook on the ship. I try to get a nap, but I can't. There's an unsettled vibe, has been since we lost the captains, and it's only getting worse. It also doesn't help that nobody cares if they wake me up. They come past here practically shouting at the top of their lungs whenever they feel like it.

No sooner do I close my eyes than two louder than necessary voices echo through the internal metallic shell of this part of the ship.

"Their cocks are huge. And they know how to use them. Have you heard Lettie and Shan? She sounds like she's being split open. And loving it."

"Scales inside a human vagina seem like…"

"Hot?"

There's a high-pitched giggle. "Stop it!"

"And they're so dominant. They have to be in control all the time. That must be driving Sullivan and Raine crazy. They've been down there for months. What must it be like to be a captain and then be an alien's fuck toy?"

"I don't think they're coming back. We should never have come to this planet. We should have given Sullivan a wave on the way past and just kept going."

The women talking are the Mare 's engineers, and they're not wrong. That's because they're the smartest of us all. They are indispensable to keeping the ship in the air, and they're two of the last people to remain untouched by aliens — besides me.

"Who are we looking for?"

"Allie."

"Oh. The cleaning girl. Cinderella. Where's she?"

"Probably asleep in the cleaning supply closet."

"God, why?"

"That's where she lives."

"Is it? Why?"

"Does it matter?"

My door is wrenched open. They don't bother to knock. I find myself being stared at by two pairs of curious, somewhat socially stunted eyes.

"The captain wants to see you," they say, practically in unison.

T hat's a strange enough summons to get me out of bed, which is a thin mattress that I made out of stuffed up plastic bags in a bigger plastic sack. We do have actual mattresses on this ship, but none of them fit under the racking in this closet. I've made pretty much all my little bits and pieces of furnishing from what would otherwise have been discarded.

"It's a trash palace," Cadence says, somewhat surreptitiously, but while I am still in earshot.

"A garbage imperium," Casey responds with a little giggle.

"A junk mansion," Cadence shoots back.

They're not trying to be cruel to me. They're just trying to entertain one another. The fact that my feelings might be hurt in the process almost certainly does not occur to them.

I report to the bridge, wondering what our new captain Lettie wants me to clean up. The bridge as always been a chaotic, bustling place. Captain Sullivan used to occupy the captain's chair with her wild blonde curls. Raine would be commanding anybody who needed to be commanded. And the rest of the crew would be rest of the crewing. Right now, the bridge is empty besides Lettie and her saurian mate, Shan. The pair of them make for a striking couple, because Shan is several feet taller than she is, and also an alien. I try not to look at him. I don't want to anger him inadvertently. The crew has never said anything negative about him, but my nature is to avoid potential conflict with massive aliens.

"You wanted to see me, Captain Lettie? Do you need me to clean something?"

Lettie was a spy before she became captain. She always kept to herself, so I never really had much of a sense of her. Some of the crew like to dress outlandishly and make themselves as striking as possible. Lettie has always been the opposite. She dresses in plain colors, cuts her brown hair in a plain way, and only uses a little makeup.

"I want you to put this on," she says, tossing me a bag. "Get changed and report back here as quickly as possible."

It's a strange request, but these are strange times, and she is the captain, so I do as I am told.

I n short order, I find myself wearing the sexiest outfit I never wanted to wear. It covers far too little and it exposes way too much. My breasts are practically on full display. The nipples are covered, but at this point it's in a way that makes me feel as though I'd somehow feel less naked if I were actually nude. It's a cat suit, basically, but it has so many sheer mesh panels on it, it might be better used as a fishing net.

"It looks good. Very good. What do you think?"

Our temporary captain is appraising me with an expression of glee. I don't know what the hell is happening

"It's very uncomfortable," I say. "It keeps riding up in places I didn't know I had."

"We have to make you irresistible. The saurians like feisty but submissive and breedable females. You're all three of those things," she says, satisfied.

I'm not submissive. I'm just quiet and have chill vibes, but I don't correct the captain. Lettie has been feisty since she was bred down on the saurian planet, and I suspect she might actually be pregnant again. It's just a hunch, but she's got that hormonal look in her eye.

"I don't want to be irresistible to saurians," I say. I know there's some chance she'll find that sentiment offensive, but I'm starting to become very uncomfortable with the way things are unfolding. I feel as though a plan is afoot — a plan I do not want to be a part of.

"These are desperate times, and we all have to do the best we can to help as best we can," Lettie says. "Including you. No more hiding in closets, Allie."

My stomach starts to churn. I can already see what she wants from me. It's a variation of the same stupid plan that has already failed a dozen times at least. We keep sending women down to the surface, and they keep getting caught. The last several have ended up in the custody of the alpha, but there are some who have disappeared entirely into the saurian underground.

Our presence here is ill-fated, ill-considered, and just plain sick. Every time we lose a crew member, there's one less reason to leave the planet, and one more reason for us all to end up stuck here. The engineers were right about that.

"I don't want to do this," I say. It takes a lot of courage to speak this plainly, but you get some courage when your nipples are threatening to pierce your skimpy outfit because of how cold they are. This outfit does not take into account the chilly nature of the Mare , which is now having to conserve power just to stay afloat. We haven't been able to refuel or resupply since we arrived in orbit, and everything is running low. If something doesn't change soon, we're going to end up just crashing into the damn planet or starving to death.

"It's not about want. It's about need. I know we've tried variants of this plan before, but this time Shan and I are pretty sure it's going to work."

Pretty sure. I'm standing here in an outfit that makes me look like a space hooker, and they're pretty sure their plan will work. I am starting to internally panic. I want nothing to do with any of this.

"I don't think they're going to go for me," I say. "I'm not the sort of person that men like."

Lettie shakes her head.

"You're hot. You've always been hot. They'll go for you. But it's not just anyone we're after. Your target is Wrath. The alpha of the saurian underworld. The one who sent me out into the wilderness and left me there to birth an egg and…" she clamps her mouth shut, as if recounting the sins of the saurian is too much for her to handle. "You will draw him out. You will make him vulnerable. You will become leverage."

Lettie used to be a very nice, very mild-mannered, quiet girl. You could quite easily forget that she was on the ship. But difficult times have made for difficult women, and there is no doubt that she is in her revenge era. But I'm not in mine. I'm in my hiding in the supply closet era.

She is very casually suggesting that I put myself in the path of the most dangerous saurian on the planet, or at least in the city below us. Wrath is a criminal mastermind and the leader of what amounts to the saurian mafia. He's ruthless and calculated and there seems to be no limit to what he is prepared to do in order to get what he wants.

I might not be part of tactical operations on the ship, but I know how to keep my eyes and ears open. I understand what she's asking me to do, and what she's asking me to do is patently insane.

Lettie herself went down to the planet and got caught. She wasn't just kept as a captive. She was actually bred. She has a baby to Shan, her saurian mate who returned to the ship with her, along with the infant.

They are breaking the no boys and no babies rule that Captain Sullivan instituted, but I am not going to be the one to point that out. Good for her. She's the only one of us who has managed to return to the ship, but that's because her remote location allowed us to pretty much go and pick her up once we found her. The rest of the crew remains very much under lock and key down on the planet.

She's also forgetting that I am the ship's cleaner. I am not a spy like she was. Spies seem to be quiet and unassuming, but underneath it all they have nerves of steel and a determination few other people possess. That's how they handle being undercover.

I'm barely a pirate. I'm more of a pity hire. Captain Sullivan would pick up any human woman she found in distress and give them employment on the ship. A lot of them became fighters or scavengers. I've been cleaning the ship since I came aboard. These days, the only weapon I know how to handle is a mop.

"Are you sure you want me to do this?" I ask the question nervously. "One of the other girls might…"

"The others are running recon and disruption," she says. "You're the only one who hasn't been down to the surface yet — and that is a good thing. You're innocent. Untouched. They'll love that about you."

I don't think I want the saurians to love anything about me. I try to stay out of sight of the one that Lettie brought back with her. He's the father of her baby, and I guess he's nice enough, but he's also a terrifying, massive, scaled creature. From what I understand, Wrath is a lot worse. Bigger. Meaner. Evil, maybe even.

"You're going to be brave," Lettie says. "And don't worry. We won't let him actually take you. You're just there to draw him out so we can take him. He's been damn hard to find ever since Thorn dedicated every resource he has to rooting him out. But I know he'll come out for someone like you. You're beautiful."

I'm not. I'm just the last one they have left.

I'm not athletic like most of the other ladies on the ship. I'm soft and I'm round, and I have cushioning where they have firm muscle and pert assets. I suppose I have nice hair. It's long and blonde and I only cut it when it starts interfering with my butt crack, so it's all the way down to my tailbone, almost. Sometimes long hair is all you need. People don't really look at your face — which I am comfortable with. My face is round, my features are cute, I guess, but not striking like some of the others. I'd happily stay out of the way forever if I had the chance.

I'm not comfortable in this tight, stretchy outfit which is showing all my flaws in high definition. Does she really think that a saurian alpha, the one who is ruthless and lawless and scheming and awful and generally the most intimidating creature I've ever heard of is going to want me, a lumpy human poured into spandex?

"I feel as though… I don't think…"

"Good. Don't think. It's like I said. You're not going to have to do anything except be down there and be very hot. We'll have a transporter locked onto you the entire time. As long as you don't lose your transponder disc — which you won't, because it's already sewn into your clothing, we will be able to bring you right up to the ship again whenever we need to. All you have to do is let him touch you, so the signal takes him too. It's going to be easy. We've got the brig all decked out for him. This is going to change the tide of saurian politics, and you're going to play a major role. We need to do something brave and bold. Something that makes a difference."

Lettie is doing her best to hype me up, but she's doing it in a near-empty bridge because not a single one of our simple little plans has worked out how we simply planned it. These saurians aren't quite as technologically advanced as we are, theoretically anyway, but they're smart. And they're big. And they have muscles and scales and they don't see us as people. They see us as things to take captive and then use for their own reproductive ends. If I were a betting woman — and I'm not, I'd say this plan is going to go sideways as soon as it is enacted.

But Lettie is still talking.

"We're going to send you down to his last known location. That's at the mouth of a small cave inside Grave City. Wrath uses underground tunnels a lot."

"I'm claustrophobic. Tunnels make me…"

Lettie's eyes narrow ever so slightly. "We all have to make sacrifices," she says. "If we don't start reclaiming our crew, we will never get off this planet."

I hate to point out that we're already in trouble on that front. She has a baby with a saurian, which means she's planning on taking the baby and the saurian with us, I guess. But Captain Sullivan, who owns this ship, the Mare , she banned both boyfriends and babies from the ship years ago.

We're pirates, and our lives are dangerous. We roam the universe as free agents, never submitting to males of any species whatsoever. That is the whole point of the Mare , or at least it was. I don't know what will happen now that Sullivan and Raine, our first and second in command seem to be pretty attached to their so-called captors. There are plenty of whispers, or there were, when there were plenty of people to whisper, that Sullivan and Raine and some of the others don't really want to be free. They've fallen in love. Life on the Mare is over.

We had a good run. For years we were nothing but a menace in alien skies. But we're being tamed. One by one, we're being taken against our will and turned into creatures we don't recognize. Lettie is proof that these saurians are capable of making us lay eggs that hatch and turn into hybrid babies.

I don't want to lay an egg.

I don't want to be mother to a hybrid alien baby.

I don't want to be captured by a saurian and then start loving him because human reproductive psychology was shaped among countless generations of aggressive, murderous male behavior. I want to stay free.

And for that reason, I muster the courage to refuse one last time.

"I don't think so," I say. "I think you should find someone else."

Lettie's eyes narrow at me. She doesn't want to hear this. Worse, she doesn't care what I want.

"I'm captain now," Lettie says. "And you will do what I tell you. You've been scrubbing toilets on this boat for years now. Isn't it time you did something useful?"

"Scrubbing toilets is useful. More useful than starting a war with a species of aliens who don't take us seriously and who capture us and fuck us until we have their babies."

"You never said no to Captain Sullivan."

Oh. So we're arguing now. Okay.

"Captain Sullivan saved my life. And she shared profit with me. And she was fun."

Lettie has done none of those things for me. All Lettie has done is take the fact that we rescued her — a fact she conveniently forgets — and turn into a little tinpot tyrant. The others followed her orders and she got them all captured. I'm not going to make the same mistake.

"I'm sorry," she says. "But I can't let you say no."

"What do you mean you can't let me…"

Someone comes up beside me. I turn to look at them, but before I see who it is, something sharp sticks in the side of my neck.

I start to feel dizzy.

"No, you…"