Chapter Sixteen

Staring out the taxi window, I told myself I wasn't going to give myself time to wonder if I'd done the right thing or not. Thankfully, the driver had nothing to say, and simply glanced at me occasionally in the rearview mirror.

I was on my way back to my pack, wanting to ensure everything was running smoothly. But that was only part of the reason.

The real reason was that I needed to give myself time to adjust to the initial draw that came from marking a mate.

It was a miracle I'd been able to pull myself away before she'd awakened, and I'd caved to my desire. I desired her so wholly that I feared I would do more to her than she was ready to handle.

I'd return to her, but I wondered if I could survive being away. Because being separated from her felt as though I had a deep gash in my chest and the stitches were being pulled out of the fresh wound.

My eyelids drifted closed, and I was back in the lab and watching Lilou crumple. I'd vaulted forward, scooping her up into my arms before she could hit the ground.

I'd caught her… barely.

For a horrifying moment, I thought she'd died, but then I caught the faint sound of her stuttering heartbeat.

Right then, I'd made my decision. I didn't care about research, obligations, or responsibilities. All that mattered was keeping her with me for as long as possible. I wasn't ready to say goodbye.

She was mine.

My wolf lunged forward, taking control, and I'd let him. My teeth had sunk into Lilou's almost gray skin and claimed her as mine.

Instinct had taken over, but I'd managed to curb the side-effect of claiming a mate, although it had taken an insane amount of effort—effort I was still paying for.

But knowing she was alive and as well as she could be made it all worth it.

And Lilou had gotten what she wanted—more time to continue her research and save lives.

My phone buzzed, and I lifted the device. Where are you staying tonight?

Oliver might be suspicious about why I'd taken an unplanned leave of absence, and what I'd been up to, but I would tell him everything once I got back. He was my right hand and my best friend.

If anyone in my pack had a problem with me marking her, I'd fight them to the death. Her research would help humans and wolves alike, and if that wasn't a good enough reason for them to accept me, they could bite me… on the arse.

I'd already covered her tracks so she wouldn't face retribution from the pack for kidnapping me. Besides, I doubted they would ever believe the tiny human female could have held me captive if I'd wanted to be free.

Suddenly exhausted, I realized I wasn't ready to answer questions, especially when I was struggling with the pull of the mate bond. Sagging against the seat, I glanced out the window and spotted a sign for a hotel.

Green Gardens Inn, I texted Oliver, then lowered my phone to my lap and asked the driver to stop at the inn. The driver glanced at me in the mirror, then turned into the parking lot and dropped me at the front door.

I thanked him and opened the app on my phone to leave a five-star review, thankful for the silent ride. With a wave, he drove off, and I headed for the glass front door of the brick-faced inn.

Pushing open the door, I saw the woman behind the counter shake her head. "Sorry, sir. We have no vacancy. Some group is in town for a convention, so we're totally booked."

"Thanks," I responded, heading back out the door and blowing out a long breath.

Every molecule in my body was tugging me toward my mate, but I continued to resist it. I could only hope that as a human, she wasn't experiencing the same level of agony I was.

With a brisk stride, I headed down the street toward another motel. It was a slightly seedier looking place, but maybe they'd have room. My whole world has been turned upside down, and I needed to ground myself.

Turning on the paved walkway, I made my way to the front door of the motel. All the while, my mind flashed with images of the time I'd spent with Lilou. I wished more than anything she was by my side now, making her light-hearted comments and infusing humor into every moment.

Pushing the door open, I headed toward the counter. "Room for one, please."

The older man behind the counter nodded his gray head. "That'll be a hundred for the night. Check out at eleven a.m."

I opened my wallet and pulled out cash.

"Not going to ask for my ID and name?" I asked.

Wasn't it a legal requirement for him to gather that information?

The old man winked. "As far as I'm concerned, you're Willie B. Hardigan."

I laughed, and took the key from him.

"Room three. Enjoy your stay, Willie." He turned his attention back to his phone, no doubt doom scrolling some social media platform.

We were all addicted to the mini dopamine hits. But as I headed for the door, I realized how little time I'd spent on my phone when I'd been with Lilou.

I'd been present. No need to escape. No desire to lose myself for a few moments. I'd just wanted to be with her.

Opening the green door, I stepped into my room. At least the place smelled clean—like bleach and laundry detergent. Locking the door behind me, I made my way to the bed and dropped down on the corner.

My mind drifted to my pack. They wouldn't dare harm my mate. And anyone who tried something stupid would be swiftly put in their place.

I rubbed my chest, trying to ease the hollow ache. My heart was tugging me toward her, as if I'd forgotten that I'd left half my soul behind.

Closing my eyes, I envisioned her smile, her adorable sense of humor, the hesitant look in her eyes right before I kissed her, and the way she fit so perfectly in my arms. I remembered the first shower and the way she'd trusted me.

Somehow, I didn't think the mate bond was the reason I felt so empty and alone.

I lay back on the bed. My duty was with my pack. I needed to make sure everything was running smoothly, and set up provisions in my absence. Because I wasn't going to waste a single minute of the life she had left.

But with each second that passed, I found myself tempted to turn my back on them and hunt her down. I wanted to send her a message, but I'd promised myself I'd give her space to adjust to being marked without having to deal with an alpha wolf desperate to claim her body with more than just a bite.

She might be mad at me when she realized that marking her, meant death for me when she succumbed to her illness, but I'd been helpless to let her go.

Exhaustion settled over me, and I drifted off into that place between wakefulness and dreams.

She approached me, her brow creased. "You left."

"I did what I had to do to protect you," I said, watching her as she circled me.

She lifted a shoulder. "Or you're protecting yourself."

Maybe I was. What I felt for her was unfamiliar, all-consuming, and terrifying.

"You should come back to me." Everything about her was alluring, from her voice, to her smile, to her almost catlike movements.

Jerking awake, I blinked at the stained ceiling. I'd forgotten about the dreams. The mated wolves said they were like a siren's call, trying to drag us together despite my worries. It was new territory for me, and the dream overwhelmed me, dragging me back below the surface.

Her lips captured mine, and my body hardened. "You're mine now."

With a growl, I try to shoo away dream Lilou.

She giggled. "Don't think you can escape me now."

I didn't want to escape… I just needed to keep space between us to ensure her safety. But I felt myself sinking into the haze, pulled in by her scent, her heartbeat, her delicate smile. Lost in the dream, I watched her strip down and level a come and get me smile in my direction.

The lines between reality and dreamscape blurred as I dropped my inhibitions and stalked toward her. I couldn't hurt this dream version of her, and I sure as heck couldn't fight my desire for her any longer.

An odd scent permeated the dream as I chased her down—something familiar, thick, choking. But the dream dragged me deeper into sleep and my grasp on reality grew tenuous.

"Come with me," she whispered, appearing in my arms, her gaze trapping me in a way that promised she'd never let me go. That was exactly what I wanted.

But an acrid scent clogged my throat, and I coughed.

"Don't go," she whispered, her lips touching mine. "Don't leave me."

"Never again," I whispered, giving myself over to the dream.