Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33

Zoe

T his time, the note came even faster.

Azazel had just finished telling me about his meeting with the archangels—after a round of mind-melting sex that had started with him prompting me to show him my “vengeful” side—when a demon brought the message from Heaven.

“That was quick,” I said with raised brows as Azazel came back into our bedroom with the letter, his hastily put-on black pants hanging deliciously low on his hips. “They must have barely informed the rest of the archangels before crafting their response.”

Azazel hummed in agreement, his eyes flying over the lines of the note. Then he stilled.

“What is it?” I sat up on the bed. “Don’t tell me those pompous archangels are giving you trouble about this.”

“This is not from the archangels.” His stormy eyes met mine over the letter. “It’s from Metatron and Shekinah.”

“What?” Heart hammering at the mention of the two elusive top angels in Heaven, who ruled in God’s stead but rarely got actively involved in politics, I jumped up, snatched the note from him, and scanned it. “They want to meet with you. Why?”

They hadn’t given a reason in the letter, only stated that there were matters to discuss.

Worried, I glanced at Azazel. “Do you think they’ll reject the truce transfer?”

His troubled gaze resting on the note, he was silent for a beat. “I don’t think so. It’s in their best interest to keep the peace. They accepted the new truce eight years ago. If they were out for war or a seismic change, they would have rejected it back then and allowed Armageddon to happen.”

“Yeah.” I chewed on my lower lip. “From all I’d heard of them while I was in Heaven, they didn’t seem like the type that would play a risky game with the safety of the world. They actually put in a lot of effort to weed out all traitors left over from the conspiracy to murder Lilith, and they were always very keen on keeping Naamah safe and the truce in place.”

He regarded me with a tilt of his head. “Do you want to come with me this time? This says both Metatron and Shekinah will attend the meeting, so my side should count two as well.”

I laid a hand on my chest and gasped. “Oh my! Are you asking me to be your plus one to a fancy angel meeting?”

His eyes sparkled with humor. “I’m all for romantic gestures.”

Picking up my strewn-about clothes, I got dressed. “Wouldn’t you rather take Daevi, though? She’s more versed in this than I am. And I thought we’d agreed it was best to keep my connection to you on the down-low for a while?”

“Well,” he said with a sigh, “going by Raphael’s little stunt, he already knows, but I doubt he’s passed that knowledge on to anyone else. He knows he can’t really do anything with it.” He shrugged. “And neither Metatron nor Shekinah know who you are. You said you’d never met them?”

I shook my head. “They always kept to themselves. The only important angels from the upper echelon I’ve met are Gabriel and Raphael.”

“And neither of them will be at this meeting.”

I scrunched up my face. “Still, don’t you think Daevi would be the better choice? She knows so much more than I do.”

“And you’ll never learn it if you stay in the shadows.” Leaning in, he gently grasped my chin and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “You will rule at my side. You won’t just be a pretty decoration, but my partner. What you lack in experience, you make up for with an unfiltered, untainted, and fresh view of matters. You bring a human perspective into this, and I think we can all benefit from that. Not to mention that the things you’ve said in the past, how you analyzed situations and navigated difficult conditions, are highly impressive in their emotional maturity and empathy. Never forget”—a sly smile whispered over his face—“that you almost single-handedly changed Lucifer’s mind about Lilith, and that you’ve managed to influence him in other positive ways, too.”

I huffed a laugh. “I think you’re overestimating my power here.”

“No.” He shook his head, his expression serious. “Lucifer was a wreck before he claimed you. You said so yourself. Now look at him. You’re the one he spent the most time with since Lilith’s murder. And whatever you did, whatever you said, not only did it bring him back from the edge, but it also changed him in a profound way.”

I narrowed my eyes in thought. “I don’t think it changed him per se…I think this was always a side to him, just buried deep.”

He shrugged. “Same difference. You’re still the one who brought it forth. You have a way of influencing others, of making them show the best of themselves. I’ve seen it a few times now, with me, with Lilith, with Lucifer. I don’t know what magic that is, but it is yours, and our world is richer for it.”

“ Azazel .” My throat closed up, my chest pinching tight.

“I think you will be a majorly good influence on politics in Hell and beyond. And in order for you to learn more and adapt, I want you to be present at important meetings, during discussions and when decisions are being made. It is your right and privilege as my partner.”

A ball of emotions burst in my chest, filling me with tingling warmth and happy hormones. “I love you,” I whispered, stroking his cheek and leaning in for a kiss.

A gust of wind lashed at us as we landed on the roof of the skyscraper, the lights of Tokyo twinkling below in the velvet night. Two figures already stood waiting for us, faintly illuminated by the glow of the city.

We’d touched down several feet away from them, and as we stepped closer, I could make out more of their features.

The female angel had long, nearly white hair, and her skin was of the same moonlit color. She could have been a ghost; her appearance was so light in all aspects. Her expression was somewhat dreamy, as if she were looking into a different dimension. The male angel seemed like the polar opposite of her, his skin and short hair so dark he almost blended into the night. The whites of his eyes framed black irises and drew attention to his gaze, which lay on us with keen calculation.

Shekinah and Metatron. God’s proxies, the last who’d seen and spoken to him thousands of years ago.

“Greetings,” Metatron said, his voice a deep bass. “You must be Azazel.” His eyes traced to me. “I am unfamiliar with your companion.”

“I’m Zoe,” I replied before Azazel could respond. If he brought me to these kinds of meetings, I’d damn well speak for myself.

“You are recently fallen,” Shekinah chimed in, her voice just as dreamy as her expression. Her uncannily light-colored eyes drank me in. “I can feel the imprint of His Grace still lingering upon you.”

I cleared my throat and shifted on my feet, unease prickling over my skin.

“This is not the topic of our discussion,” Azazel said with enviable calm. “You have summoned me here. Explain why.”

It was Metatron who answered. “What you have planned cannot be done.”

Along our bond, the spike in Azazel’s tension zipped like a bolt of electricity. “How so? There is no law forbidding Lucifer from abdicating.”

“That is not the issue.”

A muscle jumped in Azazel’s jaw, his frustration buzzing in my blood. “Then what is?”

“The Morningstar cannot be on Earth.”

“The conditions of the truce,” Azazel said, and I felt the way he restrained his anger and frustration through our connection, “are to be transferred to me as his successor, so even if I didn’t demand to amend that provision to allow me to step foot on Earth, Lucifer should be permitted to do so. He will no longer be King of Hell, won’t take part in politics, even ultimately surrendering his power to become human and live out his life on Earth. I would think that Heaven would rejoice that he will give up his might and authority.”

Metatron’s eyes glittered hard. “It is precisely his intent to stay on Earth long enough to become human that is the problem.” A beat of silence, then, “He cannot do that.”

I chewed my lip, watching the exchange nervously and with increasing foreboding. There was something here Metatron wasn’t saying, something important.

“And why is that?” Azazel asked with silken menace.

“That is none of your concern.”

Azazel bared his teeth. “I beg to differ.”

“I do not care,” Metatron said calmly. “It is all you need to know. He may not ever walk the earth as a human. We do not mind him stepping down and someone else ascending the throne, and as for your request to amend the truce, it is granted. You are free to visit Earth as much as you wish as the next King of Hell, but Lucifer must remain in Hell.”

I sucked in a breath, my heart plummeting. “You don’t understand.”

Metatron sent me a sharp look, and Shekinah regarded me with mild interest.

“It will destroy him,” I whispered.

“Zoe,” Azazel warned.

“No, they need to understand.” I glanced between the two powerful angels. “If we go back with this news, if we tell him that he is not allowed to live on Earth and become a human…” I swallowed hard. “I’m not sure he’d survive it, or anyone else for that matter. He’s barely hanging on by a thread. This—going to Earth and becoming human—is the one thing holding him together.”

“Why?” Metatron’s dark eyes seemed to drill into my soul.

“ Zoe ,” Azazel warned me again. “Don’t.”

I looked at him and shook my head. “They won’t understand the seriousness of it if I don’t tell them everything. It won’t make sense until they know.”

“Know what?” Metatron asked.

Azazel’s nostrils flared as he held my gaze for a moment, then he nodded.

I turned back to Metatron and Shekinah. “Lilith has been reborn. I found her. And Lucifer wants to join her on Earth and become human for her sake. He is ready to forgo his power and privilege, all because he wants to spare her another eternity living in Hell. He is doing this out of love, with a selflessness I’ve only heard of in stories. For the past eight years, after her death, he’s been only one step away from madness and despair. The only thing that has kept him going, that has kept him from giving in to his grief and destroying everything, was the sliver of hope that Lilith might be reincarnated as a human, and that he therefore might find her again and reclaim her.” I glanced between both of them, willing them to understand. “ This is the reason he’s holding on. He won’t bring her to Hell again. He’s adamant about that. So, if he is not allowed to join her on Earth, he’ll truly never see her again and will have lost her forever. This time for real. And it will make him go ballistic.”

Into the weighted silence, Azazel said, “I agree with Zoe. If you send us back to him with a categorical no for him staying on Earth, there is no telling the consequences. He was unpredictable and volatile these past few years. He’s become a bit more stable recently, but only because the hope he’s been holding on to has solidified into the real chance of being with Lilith once more. If we take that away from him, I fear for the fate of the world. Not even the love he has for his daughter might be enough to keep him from disintegrating. He wrecked half of Hell after Lilith’s death, and that was after he nearly brought Armageddon to Earth—the impact of his devastation over losing her forever might just level the entire world without him meaning to.”

“Please,” I said. “Please let him go to Earth.”

A flicker of regret flitted over Metatron’s face, the first hint at him not being completely emotionally detached. “We cannot,” he said gravely.

“Why not?” I glared at him, half pleading, half in outrage. “ Why? Surely his original beef with God can’t still be the reason? He won’t even be the Devil anymore; he won’t have any power or authority left! Why won’t you grant him this?”

Metatron sent me a dark look. “That is not for you to know. There is a valid reason for our decision, but it is of such a sensitive nature that not even the archangels are privy to it. We have kept this information a secret for eons, and I will not risk divulging it even under these circumstances, least of all to a random demon.”

“She is not,” Azazel said with a growl lacing his voice, “a random demon. She is my bonded mate and designated Queen of Hell. She will rule at my side, and she and I will be the parties Heaven will deal with in the future. If there is anyone besides me who is privileged to sensitive information that affects the realms, it is her.”

Shekinah regarded me with unnerving intensity, her white eyes boring into me. “You used to be human.”

I twitched before I could catch myself.

“Curious,” she said and hummed. “A Queen of Hell with a human heart, still dusted with a touch of divine grace.”

Metatron now studied me with new interest, and I wasn’t sure I liked it.

Azazel flared his wings before settling them again. “You can’t expect us to accept your refusal to let Lucifer live on Earth without an explanation as to why.”

Metatron shook his head. “The knowledge is too dangerous to?—”

“He is Death,” Shekinah murmured, her gaze unfocused.

“What?” The question was out of my mouth before I could help it.

“ Kinah ,” Metatron ground out, somewhere between flabbergasted and piqued.

“Incarnate,” she added, closing her eyes and tilting her head as if listening to some inaudible melody.

Metatron turned away and rubbed a hand over his face, the most human gesture he’d shown so far.

“Figuratively, right?” I looked between her and Metatron. “As in, he’s been coined the opposing force of God, and everybody hates death and sees it as evil, so that was attributed to him?”

“No,” Shekinah said with a beatific smile, her eyes still closed. “He is the true opposing force. God is Life. Lucifer is Death. And he chose to manifest for her sake.”

“ Shekinah ,” Metatron hissed and gently grasped her arm to turn her toward him and away from us. Staring at her for an intense moment, his hands holding her by the shoulders, he then asked quietly, “Why now?”

The faraway look in her eyes cleared for a second, and she whispered, “It is written.”

A crackling beat of silence. “He approves?”

Shekinah smiled again. “It is written.”

Metatron closed his eyes and hung his head, his hands on Shekinah’s shoulders still.

“Excuse me,” I said with my index finger raised. “You seem to be having a moment, and I respect that, but can you please elaborate on that bombshell you just dropped? I mean, I like cryptic lines as much as the next girl—I’ve grown up analyzing Tori Amos songs, okay?—but I need more context here. When you say he’s Death incarnate, and that he manifested for her sake, what do you mean?”

Metatron straightened, took a deep breath that seemed to pull him together, and then faced me. “Lucifer is the identity Death took to be able to approach Lilith. He saw her when he was an essence without a corporeal form, and he felt great desire for her. But he could not interact with her as he wanted to, not without a body.”

“So, he thought one into being,” Shekinah said, “and the power of death coalesced into physical form. All so he could speak to her. Touch her. Love her.”

“Wait.” I held up both hands. “Back up a second. If Lucifer is Death, then why is there also an Angel of Death? Isn’t that the same?”

Metatron shook his head. “The Angel of Death does not wield the power of death. He does not decide when it is someone’s time to die. He has no dominion over that. His task is to sense and find the souls of those that have recently passed and mark them for either Hell or Heaven, and then help along those who are granted entry into God’s realm. He is a psychopomp, nothing more. The force that incarnated itself in Lucifer is the true Death, the one who has dominion over the end of any creature’s life.”

“Okay.” I massaged my temples and closed my eyes briefly. “So, just to recap, Death was just incorporeally swirling around and then decided to build himself a body, and God was…doing what, exactly? Watching while eating popcorn? Why would he let that happen?”

Metatron sighed. “What you must understand is that Life—God—and Death are true equals. One is not stronger than the other. What one does, the other cannot simply undo. And for all their might, they are not able to foresee each other’s moves. They have been at odds since the inception of all that is, caught in a dance of give-and-take. For in the beginning, there were only these two forces, Life and Death. Life spawned…life, and Death took it. It is the balance. When God created angels with their immortality, Death’s force made sure there was violence and murder to end it.”

“Cain and Abel,” Shekinah muttered.

I frowned. “Weren’t they supposed to be human, though?”

It was Azazel who answered. “They were angels. Another one of those instances where human lore warped the truth.”

Metatron nodded. “Cain was the first of us to kill, thus discovering that even our lives can be ended. He quarreled with Abel, becoming so enraged that he ripped off his head. The story later found its way into human mythology and was changed to what is now known.”

I gulped at the realization that the first death to ever have happened had indeed been a violent one. That, apparently, Death had seen no other way to get his due—in the face of immortality and lack of disease and aging—than to force an eruption of brutality and murder.

As if to confirm my thoughts, Metatron continued, “With that first manifestation of Death, Life’s power became checked—while that of Death grew. God’s next creations, animals and humans, were mortal, their lives having a natural end point. And thus Life and Death had become true equals, a balance struck that neither of them could—or should—tip in their own favor. Though God never forgave Death for taking His creations. And if He had seen what Death had planned, that he had fallen in love with Lilith to the point where he intended to become corporeal to be with her, God would have tried to stop him. Alas, Death hid his intentions and the fact that he had crafted himself a body, and so he managed to bypass God’s vigilance.”

“And the gates of His realm,” Shekinah added.

Metatron nodded. “He snuck into Heaven, and there, he built himself an identity through subterfuge and manipulation. He became the brightest star among us, a shining example of our kind. By the time God saw him for what he was, it was already too late—Lucifer had successfully approached Lilith in the Garden, and she had reciprocated his advances. The rest, you know. She chose Lucifer over Adam, and in His fury over the betrayal, God cast her from Eden, and Lucifer from Heaven. And when Lucifer took her to his newly crafted realm to live with him, God pulled her back to Heaven, for He did not want his first human daughter to be Death’s bride.”

“Petty,” I said with a cough into my hand.

Metatron shot me a dark look. “And then the First War was fought, which ended in the original truce that granted Lucifer Lilith.”

“Question,” I said, raising my hand again as if I were in school. “I’m still not clear on why God didn’t do anything against Death being in physical form? Oh, and if Lucifer-slash-Death is really as powerful as God-slash-Life—and I assume we’re talking cosmically strong powers here, like, snap-your-fingers-and-everyone-dies kind of strength—then why was God even able to throw Lucifer around as if they weren’t evenly matched? I mean, yeah, later during the war, it sounds like it was a close call in terms of who’s stronger, but I don’t get why Lucifer even allowed God to toss him out of Heaven like one of his angels, when he was actually so much more than that, if what you’re saying is true.”

It was Shekinah who spoke up now. “He forgot.”

“Pardon?” I blinked at her. “Forgot what?”

“Who he truly is.” The color of her irises was so light, like fog on a cold morning, it nearly blended into the whites of her eyes.

“Are you saying,” Azazel cut in, “that Lucifer has no idea that he is Death?”

“Just so.” Shekinah nodded. “When he created his body, he also created a new identity, for he would need to hide his true nature in order to pass. He likely was not aware of the cost this change would demand, that for his mask to be convincing, it had to become real. He had to believe that he was Lucifer, an angel of the Lord, powerful, yes, but one of many, and bound by God’s grace. He had to believe ,” she repeated with emphasis. “And with beings such as he…belief shapes reality.”

“He lost himself in the creation of his false identity,” Metatron said, his deep voice hushing the night wind. “And over time, all awareness of his origins and the true extent of his powers faded into oblivion, and all that was left was Lucifer.”

I shivered despite not feeling the cold. In a flash, I remembered all those moments when Lucifer had seemed so unnervingly alien, so other , like some creature from another world or dimension, not quite fitting into this reality.

Now I knew why.

It had been his true nature surfacing from deep below the mask he’d donned eons ago. Without him being aware of it, that ancient essence was still at his core, and in the wake of Lilith’s murder, it had come to the fore.

Goosebumps rose all along my arms and neck at the realization that I’d sat in the literal presence of Death.

Death! Personified!

Holy shit.

“Now,” Metatron intoned, pulling me out of my small bout of panic, “perhaps you understand why this knowledge is dangerous. God, being Death’s equal, was the only one who could see through the mask—after a time. By then, it was too late to reverse it. There was nothing God could do to separate Death from Lucifer, or destroy the camouflage. At that point, the transformation had already robbed Lucifer of any memory of his true self, and God decided to keep the knowledge from him. That was why He was able to cast him out—because Lucifer believed himself to be an angel and God to have power over him.”

My jaw wanted to hit the floor. “He tricked him!”

A condescending look from Metatron. “God acted on the weakness that Death himself had unwittingly created.”

“And you’ve kept this from him for eons,” I whispered, disbelief hollowing out my chest.

“Because you fear what he could do with that knowledge,” Azazel purred. “Don’t you?”

“In the interest of the fate of the world,” Metatron shot back, “it is prudent to keep Lucifer in the dark about his true nature.”

I narrowed my eyes, the gears in my head turning. “But you just told us. How does that make sense?”

Metatron looked like he’d bitten into a lemon. He cast a dignified side-eye at Shekinah, who’d spilled the beans about all of this in the first place.

“Because you must know,” she now said softly. “In order to understand.”

I shifted uncomfortably at her echoing of what I’d said earlier.

“Enlighten us, then,” Azazel said smoothly. “What is it you haven’t told us yet?”

“He is Death,” Shekinah repeated, her voice once again dreamy. “And even if he does not remember, his power remains the same. He cannot help it. Neither of them can. There is a reason Earth is neutral ground. The center of balance. Neither Life nor Death may rest there, for their powers would tilt the scales, affecting all around them.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” I said at the same time as Azazel murmured, “He’d kill everything on Earth, wouldn’t he?”