Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

A zazel and I sat next to each other on a sofa across from Lucifer, a low table laden with delicacies and drinks between us. He’d received us in yet another cozy parlor-type room, the walls covered with tapestries depicting the first war against Heaven, light and darkness meeting in violent storms.

As I noticed with not a small amount of relief, Lucifer had seemingly recovered from whatever bout of eldritch horror had taken hold of him the last time we’d spoken. The version of him facing us now was the familiar one—emo-goth style and all, but his power didn’t taste so otherworldly anymore, his expression as human as a demon could get.

The smallest niggling at the back of my neck remained, just a faint whisper of otherness that still lingered in the air around him. He looked amiable enough, though.

In fact, suspiciously so.

Narrowing my eyes, I asked, “What’s up?”

Azazel made a small noise beside me, probably in response to my utter disregard for proper address and appropriate manner of speaking to the supreme ruler of Hell. I couldn’t be bothered to care. I’d been on this level with Lucifer for a while now, and I wasn’t going to revert back to kowtowing.

Ignoring my question—and my flouting of propriety, as I’d expected—Lucifer glanced at Azazel. “You enjoy being archdemon, don’t you?”

If Azazel was stumped by that random question, he didn’t show it. With remarkable calm and poise, he replied, “Of course.”

Lucifer hummed in agreement. “That position suits you.” His fingers slowly drummed on the armrest of his chair, his black eyes fixed on Azazel. “As would the one even higher.”

Next to me, Azazel tensed, his energy becoming whip-sharp but held in check with utmost control. I glanced between the two, not understanding the undercurrents.

“As I told you,” Azazel said with that same calm from before, though I sensed the storm behind the facade through our bond, “I do not wish to take your throne.”

Huh? What was he talking about? My widening eyes kept flicking from one to the other.

“I know.” Lucifer stared at him with the kind of attention that would make me squirm. “But I do.”

“Pardon?” Azazel asked at the same time as I gasped, “What?”

“I am abdicating,” Lucifer said in the casual tone one would use to announce going to the store. “And I have chosen you as my successor.”

Both Azazel and I gaped at Lucifer, struck mute for a moment.

“This is a joke, right?” I whispered when my brain could form words again.

Azazel leaned forward, his power buzzing in the air, his gaze fastened on Lucifer. “Why?”

Lucifer heaved a sigh and picked up a glass of amrit from the table. Staring into the amber liquid, he quietly said, “I will not wait ten years to see her.”

I blinked and shook my head. “This is about Lilith?”

His fathomless gaze of primordial darkness slammed into mine. “Everything I do is for her. Every breath I take is in her name. Of course, this is about her.”

“But you promised you’d leave her alone while she grows up!”

“And I will.” He swirled the amrit in the glass, his expression thoughtful. “She won’t know I’m there. But I shall watch her from the shadows and guard her myself. I want to know firsthand that she is safe…and to feel her presence, her energy.” In a whisper, he added, “To know that she is real.”

My heart pinched a little at how forlorn he looked, at the longing for the love he’d lost that was carved into every line of his ethereally beautiful face.

“But the truce forbids you to step foot on Earth,” I said softly. “So, how?—”

“That’s why he wants to abdicate,” Azazel cut in, his calculating gaze on Lucifer. “To renegotiate the truce. Or is it that the terms of the truce would be transferred to your successor, and then you’d be free to visit Earth?”

It wasn’t quite a smile that softened Lucifer’s features, but his eyes warmed noticeably. “Proving my choice right with that astute mind of yours.”

“But—but!” I flailed my hands as if to ward off a swarm of mosquitoes. “You can’t just abdicate!”

Lucifer raised a brow. “Says who?”

“I don’t know—the Bible?”

He laughed, a true, hearty sound of amusement. “The Bible,” he murmured. “That collection of fan fiction.”

Azazel chuckled right along with him, and I made a show of pivoting to stare at him.

“What?” my beloved demon asked with a smirk. “You don’t think a word in there is true?”

I huffed out a breath. “Fine.” Turning back to Lucifer, I pointed at him. “That doesn’t mean you can just forsake your duties and skip along. You only just got back into things, and now you’re giving it all up again? No, no?—”

“Zoe,” Azazel murmured.

“Uh-uh.” I wagged my finger at my demon darling and gave him a warning look. “No, this is not right. He can’t do that.”

“My dear,” Lucifer drawled, “don’t tell me you’ve come to appreciate my rule. It wasn’t too long ago you were cursing my name and would have welcomed a change in leadership, especially if it favored your husband .”

“No.” I shook my head again, the idea of the weight of ruling Hell resting on Azazel’s shoulders giving me cold shivers. “It’s too much. Not that I think you’re not capable”—I looked at Azazel, then back at Lucifer—“but the pressure, the danger…I don’t want him in harm’s way like that. Pick someone else!”

“And who should that be?” Lucifer’s eyes glittered like crushed obsidian under moonlight. “Azazel is the perfect choice. Wasn’t it you who sang his praises to me not so long ago? ‘He is the very best among you’—weren’t those your words?”

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, feeling Azazel’s gaze boring into me and a wave of affection rushing through our bond.

Before I could say something, Lucifer continued, “In addition to his general competence for the job, there is one aspect of utmost importance that qualifies Azazel to succeed me as King of Hell—as Naamah’s son, he has a vested interest in her safety, which means the terms of the truce can easily be applied to him. None of the other possible contenders for the throne would care to adhere to the deal struck with Heaven for the sake of Naamah’s well-being. Most, if not all, of them would break the truce and wage war against Heaven within months of taking over, and my daughter would pay the price.”

Not to mention all of humanity, but in Lucifer’s eyes, that was probably negligible. With the exception of Lilith’s reincarnation, of course.

“What about Daevi?” Azazel asked quietly.

“Yes!” I pointed at Lucifer and bounced on the couch in sudden excitement. “What about her? She’s Naamah’s mother. She has a vested interest in her well-being, too! And she’s an archdemon, she’s powerful, she’s an original Fallen, and she’s been around for, like, forever. Why not make her queen?”

Lucifer tilted his head and gave me a look. “She doesn’t want to.”

“But—”

He shook his head. “Daevi is fully content with her position as archdemon, especially with the prospect of Azazel ascending the throne. She has told me that she will gladly support his claim, as she is not willing to rule all of Hell.”

I threw up my hands. “Well, neither is Azazel!”

Lucifer raised a brow. “Do you speak for him?”

“No…” I bit my lip.

Lucifer regarded me for a beat, then his eyes tracked to Azazel. “Tell me,” he said, “is it not true that you have long aspired to climb as high as possible? To rise above all others and be the master of your own destiny?”

Azazel’s gaze was steady on his grandfather. “You know I have.”

My heart sank a little.

“And are you willing to ascend the throne?”

Here, Azazel’s eyes found mine, so many unspoken things in their depths. “I am.”

“I feel like we should talk about this,” I whispered, and then to Lucifer, I added, “Excuse us for a moment.”

“Why are you so adamantly against this?” Lucifer inquired, open curiosity in his tone. “With Azazel as king, you would be queen. I would think that prospect should be enticing for you.”

I’d already risen from the couch and now put both hands on my hips and glared at him. “This just shows how little you actually know me. I am the most socially awkward introvert ever. The idea of being in the spotlight like that makes me break out in hives. All that social responsibility, having to entertain others and playing by all these rules. I’m already sweating. Look!” I gestured at my armpits.

“As queen,” Lucifer purred, “you make the rules. And you wouldn’t entertain others—they would entertain you . Really, when you think about it, this position would bring you the highest amount of freedom from constraining social requirements in all of Hell. You don’t like parties? You don’t have to attend. It’s your prerogative. And if anyone dares speak ill of you for it, you chop off their wings and make them crawl. Problem solved.”

I stared at him for a moment, my eye twitching, then I turned to Azazel. “Let’s step outside for a bit, okay?”

Azazel sighed but nodded and got up, and together, we left the room and paused outside in the hallway.

“He’s right,” Azazel said as soon as the door had fallen shut.

“About which part exactly?” I crossed my arms, lifting one hand to nibble at my thumbnail, unease tightening my stomach.

He exhaled roughly. “All of it.”

My brows drawing together, I studied his face. “You’re actually considering this.”

He was silent for a long moment, his gaze lit from within as he regarded me with unnerving attention. “What is it that you’re afraid of?”

I huffed out a breath. “What is there not to be afraid of? You only think about the power, but what about the dangers? Sitting on that throne makes you the biggest target in all of Hell. Even with how feared and respected Lucifer was, he still had to squash rebellions and fend off attacks all the time, not to mention the murderous conspiracy that developed right under his nose and which brought us to where we are now, in a roundabout way. Do you really want to live like that? Always looking over your shoulder for the next would-be traitor?”

“What I want,” he said with quiet conviction, “is to have the authority necessary to make sure you’re the safest you could be. You think this is about my lust for power? It’s about you, about us . Yes, I’ve been climbing the ranks for thousands of years. I’ve always been ambitious, but I was content with my position as cherub until I met you. Until I found that, suddenly, my heart is walking around outside my body, vulnerable and in need of protection, and I realized that the higher I’d climb, the fewer bonds of allegiance and political constraints would conflict with my protection of you. And when you ascended to Heaven, I set everything on becoming archdemon because it would give me the authority I needed to claim you when you fell from grace. You have been my motivation to rise high ever since you stepped into my life.”

My chest drew tight, my throat closing up. “Azazel…”

Stepping closer, he cupped my face with both hands, speaking softly into the space between us. “I have told you many times that you’re my first priority. I will always put your safety first. You might think that being an archdemon is less risky than being the King of Hell, but I can tell you, it’s not. We’d face betrayal and rebellion with me in that position as well. A high rank will always invite challenges; there will always be greedy eyes fixed on where we stand. Ask Daevi how many times she’s had to prove her right to be archdemon against contenders, or how many quarrels she’s had with other archdemons over the millennia. Being the supreme rulers of Hell may be perilous, but it also gives us the greatest authority to enforce our standing and be independent of any who would try to bind us in political machinations.”

I grasped his hands framing my face and inhaled a shuddering breath. “But I’m not weak any longer. I’ve got power, and I can defend myself. You don’t need to climb even higher just for my sake. We’d be fine continuing as we are now.”

“Even as archdemon,” Azazel gently said, “I am beholden to a greater power, would have to bend and obey the supreme authority of Hell, to a point. Think this through, Zoe. If I don’t take the throne, and Daevi doesn’t want it, who’s left? Imagine any of the other archdemons in Lucifer’s stead. Or—Hell forbid—Samael. Imagine they have power over me, over us. Do you want to live like that ? With the threat of the political games they could come up with to fuck with us?”

He let that question hang between us with all the heaviness of its implication, and my stomach soured, my heart squeezing with fear as I did imagine what someone like Ashtaroth on the throne would mean for Azazel and me.

Or for humanity at large.

I sucked in air, my heart thumping wildly. “Not just us,” I whispered. “They’d fuck up Earth, too.”

Azazel nodded, his expression grave. “And we wouldn’t be able to stop them. Not if they’re in charge of Hell. A command to arms against Heaven by the supreme ruler of Hell is a binding order. I would have to follow it, whether I want to or not.”

Closing my eyes, I leaned into his hold, grabbing the front of his shirt. He slung his arms around me and pressed me tight, his power a soothing caress against my senses. Every breath I took was infused with his scent, his essence, and it sank into me until my fear unraveled, that knot in my stomach loosening.

“Okay,” I murmured against his chest. “But this is only temporary, right? When Lucifer is ready to bring Lilith back down here, you can switch places again.” I lifted my head and sought his gaze. “With the way things are between you right now, with you two being on good terms and everything, he can be in charge again, and it won’t affect us negatively.”

His expression was pensive as he twirled a lock of my hair around a finger. “Yes,” he said eventually, “that might be possible.” There was a note of caution to his tone that I couldn’t quite place. “Let’s talk this over with him.”

I nodded, and together we went back into the room, where Lucifer now sat in the company of a hellcat—Laphor?—stroking its fur with an absent-minded air about him. At our reentry, he looked up and raised a brow, a hint of his old arrogance shining through.

“Have you come to a decision, or do you need a marriage counselor?”

“Haha,” I said dryly as I sat down on the couch. “It’s called healthy communication. Look it up.”

Lucifer’s eyes traced to Azazel, who’d settled beside me again. “Well?”

“We agree,” he said, and it filled me with warm fuzzies that he was including me in that statement. For it wasn’t just his choice alone, as it wouldn’t only be him affected by that new station.

“We’ll rule in your stead,” I said, crossing my legs and folding my hands over my knee, “until you come back once she’s ready to follow you here.”

Lucifer held my gaze as he slowly, distinctly said, “I won’t be coming back.”

I froze. “What?”

He took a moment to sip on his amrit before he explained, “I will watch over her as she grows, and I’ll return to Hell in intervals as will be necessary to replenish my strength, but when she’s come of age, I will make her remember, win her back, and stay with her, on Earth.” His eyes glinted with ancient power. “Permanently.”

My pulse pounded so loud in my head I had trouble hearing any of my racing thoughts. Next to me on the couch, Azazel had grown still as a statue, the shock reverberating over through our bond adding to mine.

“But—that means—” I stammered. “You’ll become?—”

“Human,” Lucifer finished for me. “Yes.”

“And you’ll die!”

“Eventually. As humans are prone to do.” His gaze on the hellcat, he petted the shiny black fur, his expression not the least bit troubled.

“No!” My voice came out strangled, my heart in my throat.

Lucifer paused in scratching between the purring cat’s ears and lifted his eyes to me. A slow, slow smile unfolded on his face. “Ah,” he said with a sly note to his tone. “It seems you have developed sympathy for a cockroach after all.”

I blinked at his reference to my words from a while ago, when I’d told him I’d rather get to liking a cockroach than care about him.

“Why are you doing this?” Azazel asked, his voice laced with confusion. “Why decide to stay with her? Your plan for years has been to get her back to Hell.”

Lucifer was quiet for a moment, his gaze once more on the cat that had stretched out on his lap. Which, given the bobcat-like size of the feline, meant he was half covered by it. “I thought about what you said.” His eyes met mine. “About what it would mean to bring her here.”

I stiffened, my breath stalling. Azazel glanced at me curiously.

“And I’ve been thinking,” Lucifer went on, absent-mindedly scratching the cat’s belly, “about the past, and patterns, and the traps we fall into. And how it would be unfair to measure her new life by my image of our past, to expect to re-create that which is irrevocably lost. If I bring her back here, even when she remembers, it will not resurrect what we had. Not entirely. She will not be the same person, regained memories notwithstanding, and her experience will be different. She will have had nearly two decades lived in a new body, a new world, with a new human background to shape the way she thinks and feels. If I intend to whisk her away from the familiarity of her life to bring her back here, it will be in service to my own needs and wants—and in utter disregard of hers.”

I couldn’t breathe; the shock sat so deep, compressing my lungs. When I’d talked to him about Lilith, I would never have thought that he’d actually listen and internalize my message to this extent. That he’d come to this conclusion and take such drastic action.

“One thing,” Lucifer continued in the heavy silence following his explanation, “that I’ll never do is disrespect her needs and wants. I have never been selfish with her, not when I first approached her in the Garden, and not when I offered for her to join me in Hell. And you were right when you said that this time the situation and the conditions of her coming with me would be vastly different from that first choice she made all those thousands of years ago. I will not make her choose between a life on Earth with her family and friends and a life with me in Hell. That would be cruel, and I have never been cruel with her.” He bared his teeth, a hint at the impressive power he held flashing in his eyes.

A beat of silence, then Azazel’s soft question: “So you would die for her?”

Lucifer’s eyes of abysmal darkness flicked to Azazel. “Wouldn’t you for her?” He indicated me with a jerk of his head.

“Gladly,” Azazel said with adamantine conviction.

Before I could say something, Lucifer spoke up again. “Though, this is not the question to ask yourself. To die for someone is easy. To kill for them, even easier. But can you live for someone? Can you forsake your privilege for someone? Are you willing to surrender your power, your might, your standing for the one you love?”

I barely dared to breathe, my gaze fastened on Lucifer and this mind-boggling side of him.

“How shallow would be my devotion,” he said quietly, a rough note to his voice, “how hollow my profession of love, would I not be willing to sacrifice for her happiness, especially when that sacrifice is actually meaningful?”

“My God,” I murmured, pressing a hand to my heart, from where an ache spread through my chest.

“He wouldn’t know of sacrifice,” Lucifer muttered, “besides demanding it of others.”

I raised both brows. “But didn’t he kind of have himself killed as a sacrifice for humanity?”

Lucifer tilted his head. “But did he stay dead? Was it the end of him? Did it cost him anything but a bit of magic to come right back to life?”

I pressed my lips tightly together, unable to argue the point.

Lucifer waved a hand. “Which brings us back to how a sacrifice is only a sacrifice when it has meaningful, significant consequences that actually cost you something. Dying isn’t a sacrifice when you can snap your fingers and resurrect yourself.”

I almost choked on my own spit. Next to me, Azazel pursed his lips, his eyes gleaming with amusement.

“So, yes,” Lucifer went on, “I will stay on Earth with her once she is grown up and has regained her memories. I have lived an unimaginably long life. Most of that was spent with her by my side. We have both tasted immortality, have enjoyed our slice of eternity together. All the while, we were caught unmoving in time like insects preserved in amber. What we have never tasted together is a mortal life. What it feels like to have an end date, to know your time is limited. To make the most of the years and decades ahead of you, precisely because they are few in number.”

I swallowed hard, still not able to process the fact that Lucifer, the Devil, the big bad throughout history, was willing to give up his power to live a human life with his lost love. That he was fully prepared to die a human death because he’d rather join Lilith on Earth than ask her to leave her family and friends behind.

And that in a few decades’ time, at most, he would cease to exist—or rather, his soul might ascend to Heaven. Unless…

Blinking against the hot wetness coating my eyes, I said, “Let’s make one thing clear.”

“I’m all ears,” Lucifer drawled.

“When you die as a human, and you come down here because you’ve sinned”—I gave him a faux-haughty look—“I will personally torture the fuck out of you.”

A laugh erupted out of him, transforming him into a vision of the darkly divine. When he calmed down again, his eyes sparkled. “I’d expect nothing less.”