Chapter Seventeen Faith

Someone was shaking her. Groggily, Faith opened her eyes. She was lying on the sofa under the library window. A set of papers lay abandoned on her knee.

She focused on the figure looming over her. Slowly, Lily's face came into view. A pale, tear-stained face.

"Faith?" She frowned. "You with me?"

"What is it?"

"You need to come." Lily's eyes darkened. "She's asking for you."

Faith was already on her feet, the papers on her lap cascading to the floor. Leaping over them, she followed Lily back through the library and down the stairs, knowing where they were headed without having to ask.

At the door of Sophia's room, Lily gestured for Faith to enter.

The room was dark. The curtains were drawn, and there was a faint sour scent hanging in the air. She was vaguely aware of Lily closing the door behind her, but as she stepped inside her focus was only on one person.

Allowing her eyes to adjust, her eyes sought out the bed at the far end of the room. The figure in it lay still. Too still. Dread took hold of Faith as she made her way towards it.

Anna, Sophia's current guardian, sat on the opposite side of the bed. She pressed a cold cloth to Sophia's forehead. As Faith approached, she glanced up.

Faith met her gaze. "Lily said I should come. Is she-?"

Anna's face was drawn. "She's taken a turn for the worse over the last few hours, I'm afraid. We've adjusted her fluids and upped her painkillers," she moved the cloth away from Sophia's face, "but nothing seems to be making a difference."

Faith hung back, horrified by the medic's words.

"She's become pretty much unresponsive over the last hour," Anna continued. She beckoned to Faith. "But when she does speak, she asks for you."

Hesitantly, Faith perched on the chair at the other side of the bed. For the first time, she looked at Sophia. Her friend's eyes were closed, her skin glazed with a sheen of sweat. Her face was chalk-white, and the only part of her which was moving were her eyes. Behind the lids, they danced back and forth, betraying the presence of troubling dreams.

"We can't keep her temperature down." Anna removed the cloth from Sophia's face. "And she's very weak. I thought if you sat with her, she might…"

"Can she..." Faith forced herself to breathe. "Is she actually able to speak to me?"

Anna nodded. "Just about. The painkillers are making her groggy, and she's been drifting in and out of consciousness, but she does come to occasionally." Anna stood up, gesturing at the cloth. "Would you keep an eye on her while I go and refresh this?"

Faith nodded mutely.

"Try talking to her. She might well respond better to you than to anyone else. The rest of us are pretty much strangers to her. Don't underestimate the power of a familiar voice."

Faith felt a panic overwhelm her as Anna began walking towards the door. "Shouldn't I let her rest?" Anna's footsteps halted. "I mean… doesn't she need that to help her get better?"

Anna retraced her footsteps until she stood by Faith's side. Placing the cloth on the nightstand, she knelt down beside Faith and put an arm around her.

"I'm not sure it matters how much rest she gets." Anna tightened her grip on Faith's shoulder. "I haven't left her side for the past twenty-four hours, more or less. I've never seen a sickness like this. The vomiting has mostly stopped, but only because there is little in her system to come back up. Her symptoms are worsening, and nothing we give her seems to make a difference." The grip on her loosened, and Faith felt herself being turned to face Anna. "Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

Faith stared at her. "But she's… I mean, she's not–"

"I'm not a qualified doctor," Anna said, "but I've seen a fair amount of sickness over the years. This is… I don't know, it's like something is draining the life out of her." She leaned forward, placing her hand on the swollen stomach. "I'm not sure if it's the pregnancy, or some delayed reaction to the drugs, but–"

"Surely the drugs are out of her system by now?" Faith tensed. "I mean, she's been here for almost a week. Shouldn't she have started to recover by now?"

"I keep hoping that she will, but so far, she just keeps getting worse." Anna shook her head. "Aborting the foetus might alleviate the strain on her system, much as I hate to admit it." Faith knew she was thinking of her own desperate flight from Bellator whilst pregnant with Noah, a male who would have been automatically aborted under Danforth's law. "But it would be too dangerous. We don't have a doctor qualified to perform the procedure." She squeezed Faith's hand. "I'm so sorry. I'll keep thinking, but I'm way out of my depth here." She held up the washcloth. "Are you okay if…?"

"Sure." But the second Anna left the room, Faith missed her comforting presence.

She turned back to Sophia. Where had her friend gone? The fiercely intelligent, warm-hearted, curious girl who'd been by her side since the age of ten when they'd both started at the academy. The brains behind their partnership. The voice of reason. The girl who had supported her wholeheartedly, yet wasn't afraid to tell Faith when she had gone too far.

The girl who lay in the bed was a stranger. Faith shuddered.

Leaning forward, she reached for Sophia's hand. It was cold and limp.

"Soph?" Faith moved closer. "Can you hear me?"

There was no reply. Closing her eyes, Faith allowed her head to rest forward on the bed.

"Please, Soph," she whispered into the covers. "You have to stay with me. You have to fight this."

The body on the bed stirred. Encouraged, Faith sat up. Perhaps her words were getting through. Her eyes centred on Sophia. A low moan escaped her.

"Soph?"

The hand in Faith's tensed, its grip tight. Sophia's lids remained closed, but the movement of the eyes behind them changed, becoming jerky and chaotic. She moaned again, louder now, her free hand also tightening on the sheet which covered her.

Faith glanced at the door, willing Anna to return.

"Sophia?" She tried to shake her friend's hand loose, but the death-grip remained. "It's Faith. Can you hear me?"

"No-no-no-no-no-no…" The moans morphed into words. "I can't… please don't…"

Alarmed, Faith leaned forward, stroking a hand down Sophia's cheek in an attempt to calm her. "Sssshh… it's alright… you're safe, you're…"

But Sophia didn't respond. She didn't even seem present in the same space as Faith. Physically, she was. But mentally, Faith knew she was back in the ward in the hospital, surrounded by the machines and the medics who had put her through so much.

Relinquishing her hold on Faith, Sophia thrust her hand out in front of her, clawing at the empty air. An expression of terror froze her features in a twisted mask.

Faith stood up, moving closer in a desperate effort to rid her friend of her demons. "You're okay. I'm here. Come back to me. I promise I won't let anyone hurt–"

Sophia screamed. An anguished sound, which echoed off the walls of the room. Her other hand shot out, making sudden, painful contact with Faith's face. She recoiled, clutching at her cheek and biting back tears. For someone who was so weak, Sophia packed quite a punch. Clearly, her nightmares were lending her brute strength.

Blinking back tears, Faith came closer again, this time, grasping both of Sophia's hands in her own. Pinning her arms by her sides, she spoke as loudly and calmly as she could.

"Soph! You're okay, you're safe. I'm here, you're okay…" Faith repeated the mantra over and over. "I'm here, you're safe. Come back to me, please…"

Slowly, Sophia's demeanour changed. She stopped trying to lash out. Her moans subsided and the movement of her eyes behind the lids stilled. Eventually, she fell silent and her entire body went limp once again.

Faith wasn't sure which was worse. The wildly tortured soul of a moment ago, or the shell of her old friend who lay there unresponsive. Sagging back in her chair, she let the tears come. At first, there was only a trickle of saltwater on her cheeks. But soon, violent sobs racked her body, a torrent of tears which showed no sign of stopping. Covering her face with her hands, Faith slumped forwards on the bed, her face in her hands allowing her emotions to overwhelm her.

When she felt a hand on the back of her head, she presumed it was Anna returning. Hauling in a deep breath, she sat up and found herself looking right into Sophia's eyes. Open, for the first time since Faith had entered the room, and filled with a calm which had seemed impossible only moments ago.

"You're–" Faith scrubbed a hand across her face. "You're awake!"

"Anna said you'd come." Sophia smiled weakly. "I've been waiting."

"Of course, I"ve come." Faith sat up straighter. "Are you-?" She took in her friend's expression. "How do you feel?"

"Been better." Sophia's voice was hushed. "I can barely lift my head."

She demonstrated, her body tensing. She managed to raise her head a small amount, but the effort took it out of her. When she let it drop, she was panting.

"What's wrong with me, Faith?" Her forehead creased with concern. "I'm like a newborn… no strength at all."

Faith's eyes dropped to her friend's swelling stomach. The irony that the baby inside Sophia was the very thing which was draining her of her energy was not lost on her. But she wouldn't point that out. Chances were, Sophia was already aware of it.

Once again, Faith wished that Anna would appear in the doorway, saving her from having the conversation she felt ill-equipped to have. She sat forward, searching for words which might offer her friend some comfort. She came up empty. What could she say? Sophia was one of the cleverest people she knew. And she wouldn't appreciate it if Faith lied to her.

"I don't know." Faith cringed at her answer, but Sophia seemed to appreciate her honesty. "Anna says they've tried everything they can think of, but since they don't know what's causing your illness, they're at a bit of a loss."

She took hold of her friend's hand again. This time the returning squeeze was not so vice-like.

"Don't lose hope, though. They're still looking for other solutions, trying to work out what else they could do to–"

"They won't find anything." Sophia sighed. "It's not like anyone else has ever been through this before." Her voice quavered. "I'm an experiment. A test case. I'll bet even experienced doctors wouldn't know what to do with me. No one's ever seen…" she gestured to her stomach, "this before."

"There has to be something–"

"Why?" Sophia's voice grew shrill. "Why does there? Because it's not fair? Because you don't want me to die?" Faith recoiled at the unfamiliar bitterness in her friend's voice. "Life doesn't appear to be very fair."

Faith bowed her head. "I'm s-sorry, Soph."

"No. I'm sorry." All the fight had gone out of Sophia. Her eyes were filled with regret. "I shouldn't take it out on you. It's just–" She swallowed. "They tell me to eat. To build up my strength. And I've tried. But I just…" her shoulders slumped. "I just can't. And I'm just… so… tired."

She closed her eyes again, the animation of a moment ago gone. Faith squeezed her hand, noting that the returning squeeze was far weaker than it had been only moments ago.

"Rest, then." She stroked her friend's hand, not knowing what else to say. "Just sleep. That's got to do you good, right?"

Silence fell once more. Faith listened to the sound of Sophia's breathing, fighting tears. She had failed her friend. Just when she thought Sophia had fallen asleep, her eyes flickered open again.

"At least…" the voice was even fainter now. "At least I managed the recording." She eyed Faith. "Blake's edited it ready for the ceremony, right?"

Faith forced a smile. "I'm sure she's working on it right now."

"And you'll make sure…" Sophia grasped Faith's hand a little tighter, "it makes a difference? To save Flynn. To convince the citizens that Danforth… that she's…"

"I will." Faith bit down hard on her lower lip. "I promise."

Sophia relaxed against the pillows. "Alright. If it's too late for me…then at least I'll have made a difference… done something…" her voice trailed off, "something… some–"

"Something heroic." Faith finished for her. "Something brave and selfless. But don't–" she choked on the words, "don't talk like that. It's not too late for you. You've got to–"

She broke off as the door behind them opened. Anna hurried in, an apologetic look on her face.

"So sorry. Madeleine collared me." Her eyes went to Sophia. "You're awake! How are you feeling?"

She crossed to the bed, handing the cool cloth to Faith. When she pressed it to Sophia's forehead, her friend sighed with relief.

"Better?"

"A little." A shadow crossed Sophia's face.

"What is it?" Faith frowned.

"Those pains again?" Anna took hold of Sophia's wrist, her fingers feeling for the pulse.

"What pains?" Faith tried to stay calm.

Nodding, Sophia groaned and clutched at her stomach.

"She's been experiencing some severe cramping on and off." Anna leaned in, her mouth close to Faith's ear. "I thought, with the pregnancy progressing so rapidly, that she might actually be in labour."

"What?" Faith went cold. "She can't–"

"She isn't." Anna tensed. "I've seen enough pregnancies in Eremus to know, and…" Her worried glance returned to Sophia. "I've checked her over several times. It's definitely not labour." Anna leaned over the bed. "Sophia? Your pulse is a little fast. Try and stay calm. I know it's hard." She turned back to Faith. "She's stopped vomiting now, but it seems like her stomach is still experiencing severe issues."

Sophia groaned again. "I can't… can't…" she panted. "They're… w-worse than before." She curled up on the bed in a foetal position. "Feels like–"

"Sshhh." Anna ran a soothing hand over her back. "I'll get you something for the pain."

She moved to the dresser where there were several bottles of the orange pills. Shaking one out onto her hand, she hesitated.

"What is it?" Faith asked.

"She had one a couple of hours ago. I shouldn't really give her another. Too many could adversely affect her blood pressure, particularly if her body is under an immense amount of strain. If we're not careful, she could… But…" Anna gestured to Sophia. Her face was bathed in sweat and she was crying quietly. "Look at her. I might not have a choice."

"No-oo-oo-oo."

Her moans were guttural now. This was no mental torture, no nightmare. Whatever was ailing Sophia, it was agony. Faith shifted from the chair to the bed, seating herself as close to her friend as she dared.

"Shh," she soothed, imitating Anna. "Anna's getting you something for the pain. You'll feel better soon."

But her words fell on deaf ears. Sophia's groans grew in volume, her face creased in anguish. Suddenly, she gasped.

"Faith! Faith– Aahh!" Her eyes were wide and terrified. "It hurts so much, I can't…"

"Anna! You have to do something." Faith pleaded. "Give her something. She's in such pain."

The Eremus medic made a decision. Taking one of the orange pills, she dropped it into the bottom of a cup and used a spoon to crush it up. Adding a little water from the jug, she mixed it around. She moved towards the bed, nodding to Faith.

"Can you help her to sit?"

Faith slid an arm around her friend, noticing how painfully thin she was. Managing to support her into a sitting position, she looked at Anna for further instructions.

"Sophia." Anna's voice was commanding, loud. "I need you to drink this. Swallow it all. It should help with the pain."

Something about her tone got through to Sophia, and she managed to nod. Anna brought the cup to her lips, tipping it up slowly. When Sophia swallowed, they both heaved a sigh of relief.

"Won't she throw it back up?" Faith asked.

Anna tilted her head to one side. "I hope not."

"How quickly will it work?" Faith nodded at the cup.

Anna shrugged. "Shouldn't be long. And sometimes the cramps come in waves. We might find the pain subsides in a moment anyway."

She was wrong. Though Sophia had managed to still herself for long enough to swallow the liquid in the cup, the pains soon had her writhing on the bed again. Faith found she couldn't bear it, and began pacing up and down at the foot of the bed.

"Can't you-?" She gestured at Sophia. "Isn't there anything else you can do?"

Anna shook her head. "A higher dose of the pills will kill her."

As Sophia's cries grew louder and more pained, Faith resumed her pacing. Looking at the figure in the bed was too hard. But then Sophia called out for her.

"Faith?" Sophia's eyes were wild. "Faith!"

Faith moved to the bedside again. "I'm here."

"It hurts…" Sophia's voice was faint now. "It hurts so much."

Clutching her friend's hand to her chest, Faith leaned closer. "I know. I'm so sorry."

"I can't…" Sophia's voice was only a murmur now. "Don't let me… Stay with me."

"I'm right here. I won't leave. I'm not going anywhere."

Sophia's eyes zeroed in on Faith's. The pained look faded and she seemed calm. For a moment, Faith was glad, but then the hand in hers went slack.

"No!" Faith bent closer, willing her friend to hold on. "Sophia, no!"

But the eyes staring back at her were vacant.

Sophia was gone.