20. Xeraphine

20

Xeraphine

I wish the fireplace in my apartment wasn't fake. There's a serene comfort that comes with the scent of a real fire, and the soft crackling of wood as it turns to ash. It mirrors the intricate tapestry of my life, like some fucked up analogy where I am the flame, and the world around me is the wood. Despite the looming possibility that someone could come along and extinguish me, my resilient spirit says fuck that. I am determined to endure, and stay illuminated in the darkness that surrounds me.

I have to keep fighting, they can't put me out. Not after everything I've done, I've fought too hard to allow fear to stop me.

I am not afraid… I'm pissed…

I'd say I'm surprised the fire is still burning, even with the sun peeking through the floor-to-ceiling patio windows, but I'm not. It's likely that Kairhyse kept it going until he passed out on the couch, which is where I find him sleeping when I roll over. It's strange to me that his kind sleeps at all, but I suppose it makes sense, they technically aren't dead, even if that is the running joke about Vampires.

I make every effort to be as quiet as possible, lifting the blankets off me and gently settling them down. He can hear a pin drop from blocks away during rush hour, but I still try my best, and it pays off. As I tiptoe away from the bed, a sudden realization hits me— wait... a bed ?

I turn back around, staring at a mattress right there on the ground, complete with all the dressings. I don't remember it being there when I fell asleep last night. There's no way I could have missed it, which means he… Oh…

I am such a fucking fool.

"If you ever see her again, remember that she is mine. Do not fucking touch her."

Gods damn him.

When I turn, I find him sitting upright on the couch, his gaze locked onto mine. As he clears his throat, he begins to rise. "Are we still staying silent this morning?" The agitation in his tone is understandable. He has every right to be angry with me, just as I am with him. This morning is not going to unfold as either of us would prefer.

"No, we can talk," I reply.

He nods and takes a deep breath, his bare chest almost too distracting for me to avert my gaze. "Even if I were to plead with you on my knees to tell me what happened last night." He runs his fingers through his hair, sweeping it to one side and letting it cascade over his shoulder, "I suspect the response I'd receive is ‘Fuck off'. So—" I brace myself to voice the words that have been caught in my chest. "Do you want breakfast?"

Why are you doing this…

I press my lips tightly together before responding, "No, I'm not hungry."

"I can hear your stomach, it's empty," he groans and moves around the couch, heading toward the kitchen. "I don't even know why I ask. I'll just make you something."

"Kai, stop."

"No, you need to eat something."

I inhale deeply and shift my gaze toward the door; I just need to leave. There's no part of me that desires to remain here and engage in this conversation with him. "I have to go. I'm sure I'll see you around."

Before my foot settles into its first step, he's in front of me. "Little demon, I'm not asking you to eat. I'm telling you. Then, if you still want to leave, I'll take you home."

"Why?" He narrows his eyes at my question, "I have food at my apartment. "

"Barely," he scoffs, "I will put you onto that barstool with or without your permission."

I feel my resolve starting to falter, but I force myself to remain steadfast and composed. "Fuck off!" I nearly shout as I try to sidestep him, but predictably, he tightens his grip on my arm, holding me in place. "You need to stop this weird-ass obsession you have with me. I'm not yours. Why can't you get that through your head?!"

As I jerk my head back, he looms over me, his gaze piercing. "Did he touch you, Xera?" His question catches me off guard, and my eyes widen in surprise. "Since you seem so eager to run away, fine. I'll cease this charade of trying to tiptoe around, attempting to make you comfortable enough to talk to me. Did Dominic touch you? Did Dante?!"

I swallow hard, feeling the weight of his intense aura bearing down on me. "I..." My silence hangs heavy, and I know hesitating will be answer enough. "Last night was the first time I met them."

His sudden movement catches me off guard, and I curse as he pulls me back in front of him, his nails digging painfully into my flesh. "Do not lie to me, Xeraphine. I saw the way you looked at Dominic, and that boy doesn't do anything without his twin cock brother. Answer the question… Did they touch you?"

"Yes."

The abrupt response seems to startle him, causing him to relax his grip on me slightly. I watch as the redness in his eyes intensifies, slowly seeping into the white spaces, overtaking them with a chilling intensity.

"When…" His singular word comes out in a single breath.

"We aren't going to do this."

His hand trembles as he releases his hold on my arm. "When?"

I shake my head, "I said, we aren't going to do this."

"Do… what… exactly?" he says through his teeth.

"This." I gesture between us. "This savior bullshit. I don't need saving."

"You did last night—"

"No, Kai, you're wrong!"

"I heard you, Xera. You were about to say cinnamon." His voice is barely above a whisper, too subdued, as if he doesn't want to raise his voice at me. As though he sees me as some delicate princess, fragile and easily hurt. But I'm not. I'm no damn baby doll. I'm a demon. A creature of the night. I prey on the men and women that see me as weak, and drain them dry for daring even to think I am.

"Do you know where that word came from?"

He already knows the answer to the question, and I'm glad he understands that it is rhetorical, and doesn't respond.

"Ever since you came into my life, Kai, you've made me weak," I declare, watching his eyes widen with a mix of surprise and protest. But I refuse to give him the chance to interject. "I've been fighting for ten years, six of which I've had the strength to inflict the pain that was once inflicted upon me. Then you showed up... and fucked everything up for me."

His eyes are darting between mine, and I know this is going to hurt him, but I don't care.

I do care —and that is what scares me.

"If you had not been there, anywhere in my life, the word ‘cinnamon' wouldn't exist. I wouldn't have been thinking of wanting anyone to save me from what Dominic was about to do to me again. In that moment, yes, I was absolutely terrified. Sick to my stomach knowing that he and his brother were going to do whatever they wanted to in that place. But, at some point, I would have got them in private. Whether it would have been through slipping my blood into their system, or just by giving them the best and last fuck of their lives."

The set in his jaw accompanied his balled-up fists. This obsession for him, it is dangerous. I'm not worth this anger he has, I need him to see that.

"I would have been able to kill two of the five men that took my life from me, Kai, and you stripped that from me."

He shakes his head without saying anything, allowing me to speak until he decides it's his turn. "Then, you claiming me in front of them. As if I am your mate. Your property. Yours . Do you understand that you have taken the only power I have?" I shrug my shoulders and throw my head back, "Telling them not to touch me when that is how I can get close enough to manipulate and kill them, is like pulling the fangs from a Vampire."

"They would grow back," he says with contempt in his tone.

"As will our distance." His laugh surprises me, and I cock an eyebrow, "What is so funny?"

The smile that spreads across his face clearly tells me I am wrong. "Break-ups aren't really my thing, little demon," he says, his words catching me off guard. What the Beyond? We aren't even together, what is he even talking about? "If you think for a minute—now—I'm going to be leaving you alone, you've really lost your mind."

I step back, "You really are delusional."

He sucks air in through his teeth and places his hands into his pockets, pulling slightly on the pants that were already dangerously low on his hips. "Actually, I think it is you that is delusional. What did I tell you about telling me what I won't do? I sure as shit am not ‘distancing' myself from you."

"Do we really have to go back to trying to kill each other?" I'm exhausted by this conversation, "Because, Kai, I will kill you if you make me."

He smiles, "No you won't."

My nostrils flare, "You are infuriating! I will kill—" Before I can finish my sentence, I find myself flat on my back, the unforgiving hardwood floor sending a jolt of pain through me. I wince, but before I can react further, his fangs sink deep into my shoulder, and I let out a scream. One of his arms wraps around my neck, while the other pins my wrist down, leaving me utterly immobilized.

Realization hits me like a tidal wave as I grasp the fact that he is feeding on me.

Actually feeding on me.

The draw of my blood through my veins makes me twitch and my eyes roll back. It's pure euphoria, a sensation that lifts me out of my skin. As it courses through him, I can feel its journey, an electrifying flow surging through every part of his being, breathing life into him. The experience is akin to a dreamlike state where I become utterly lost and never want to wake up.

They say that being fed on by a Vampire will turn you on, and they were not wrong. My entire core throbs with such need that my hips rise to meet his. As though I were some animal in heat, the moment I feel his hard cock against my thigh I grind myself against it.

His shoulders tremble as he pushes his groin against mine, and the anger and pain that had been tearing me out of this apartment turns to lust and need.

As though painful for him, he releases my neck and grabs my jaw, forcing me to look at him, "Kill me, Xera. I just drank enough of your blood for you to tear my entire body apart, including my head." His breathing is heavy, and I can feel him fighting the ache to go for more.

Fucking Belial himself.

"You are insane, Kai!" I grit through my teeth.

He puts his lips to the crook of my neck, his fangs press against my skin, "Kill me now, little demon, because I will never stop. You are my obsession and will be until I fucking die." He pierces right at the vein in my neck, and my free hand grips at his hair, the initial pain of the bite melting into absolute pleasure that wraps around me.

My body trembles as he pulls more from me until my eyes roll into the back of my head and my thighs are soaked. I am so lost in the ecstasy that it brings me, I hadn't realized that I came, drenching the floor below us.

He groans, wrenching himself away from my neck. His forehead presses against my chest, his breaths heavy and labored. "Kill me." He leans up, and takes the back of my head into his hand and lifts me to look at him. His eyes are now consumed by a haunting shade of red, with only the pupils remaining as a trace of their former selves. "End your suffering since you hate me so much."

With veiled eyes, I clench my teeth together so hard I can feel them begin to ache.

I don't fucking hate him, who am I kidding.

I put my hand behind his neck and draw him into me with force, our lips crashing together. The taste of me mixed with him makes my body shiver, and I force my tongue into his mouth to taste more. It's then his hand slips between my thighs and he slides two fingers between my slit, right into my cunt.

He swallows my moan and tilts his head to completely devour my lips. His fingers curve inside me right where they brush against the glorious spot that makes me writhe, and his thumb seamlessly rolls around my bundle of nerves.

After releasing my head he completely tears the shirt I'm wearing straight down, leaving me bare. "Kai, fucking Beyond," I pant, my skin is on fire from him feeding and the pleasure his fingers are providing. "Just pull it off!"

He laughs at me, and brushes his lips down my chest straight to my breast, "So concerned about useless shit, my little demon." He shuts down the comment coming from my lips by biting down around my nipple and sending my lower back lifting from the floor.

I've never known how much I needed to be fed on, but I am ready to be a donor at this point. My toes pinch as he draws more of me into his body. The stimulation of his fingers pumping my pussy and rubbing at my clit was not needed to bring me to another orgasm. Him feeding on me will likely make me an addict, and I'm ready to overindulge.

"Fuck!" I scream as my hips lift, "Right there!"

This man… I swear to the Gods themselves. The moment I am falling over and at the precipice of my climax, he replaces his fingers with his cock. Slamming so hard into me that my vision gives, and my breath is knocked straight from my lungs. His fingers are playing my clit like strings on a guitar and I come so hard that tears form at the corner of my eyes. Sparks are igniting behind my eyelids, and there is no part of me that isn't shaking.

"So fucking perfect," he croons and grabs me by the arm. I need a minute to catch my breath, and for someone that literally lives off sex, that is an incredible feat.

I'm up in his arms with him still inside of me; blood, sweat and cum everywhere on me. His fingers intertwine with my hair, gently pulling the strands free from the ponytail that had barely survived the night.

He smiles as his lips brush against mine as he takes my hands and place them against his chest. "Explore while you catch your breath."

Fucking Belial, I can't even see straight and he wants me to inspect his tattoos? Gods , I can't tell if he is hot or just plain weird.

His hands then move to my hips as he rolls me against him, my legs instinctively circling around his back to keep me close. This is far too intimate, but I do need the moment.

So, I explore.

His chest and neck tattoo is a design of a battlefield, a chaotic tableau of swords, spears, and guns scattered across a scene of devastation. On one side stands Belial, adorned with horns, a tail, and wings reminiscent of a bat—some claim him to be my original creator. On the opposing side, a God or Angel, with dove-like wings, possessing an elegant beauty equally matched by the deadliness of Belial. The two adversaries are poised for a clash at the heart of it all. A symbolic sun rests against his neck, the moon moving over it, ready for an impending eclipse .

It's beautiful, and I could likely look for hours and still see something new that I hadn't seen before.

The tug back on my hair pulls me to look at him, "You're breathing properly again." I feel the smirk as he kisses me and pushes me down onto him roughly, threatening my wall and making my body succumb to a vibration.

As he slips his tongue into my mouth, eliciting a moan from me, he effortlessly lifts us from the floor and gently resettles us onto the mattress. He spreads my legs and with a smile that pulls concern in my stomach, throws his hips forward. I swear he thrusts my stomach into my throat, my back arching involuntarily from the intense sensation of fullness.

His hand glides to my abdomen, while the other firmly grasps my thigh, preventing any attempt to retreat.

"K-Kai—Please—!"

"Look how good you take me," he croons, and when I look down, I see him running his fingers along the outline of a bulge.

I'm sorry—what?!

If I couldn't see it for myself, I would swear his dick is in my lungs, making it nearly impossible to catch my breath with how full I am.

His hips roll and that pubic piercing brushes against my bundle of nerves, causing everything to clench. I'm as lit as the fireplace beside us and I grab hold of my hair, releasing a moan that is not subdued. He is still rubbing at my abdomen, and I swear my Amoro is ready go dormant at how satisfied it is.

"Fucking incredible," he breathes out a groan as he dives one last hard push into me, bringing tears to the corners of my eyes.

His absence inside of me is short, as the moment he pulls out I am thrown onto my stomach and his hands lift my hips. He is not a man of hesitation, and once again I am driven into as if there was nothing to stop him from fitting all of him inside of me.

"That's it Xera," he breathes and lifts my hips higher to devastate my cunt with everything he has. I bury my face into the sheets and sing a song of pure enjoyment. It hurts so fucking good and it's everything I need. I never need gentle and caressing, I need his balls to slap me and threaten to break me.

One of his hands grabs my wrist and brings it behind my back, then mirrors the action with the other. I peer over my shoulder, panting as he whispers, "Noctis Duplicatus." The moment those words come out, I gasp and see a shadow form beside him. That said shadow figure of him stands at full attention.

"You said you like all of your holes filled…" He grins, and I swear I spurt just from that.

I'm too stunned to speak.

"Unfortunately, no man will ever fucking touch you besides me, but lucky for you, there's plenty of me to go around."

His fingers brush against my chin, directing me to look forward. In front of me is another nearly exact duplicate version of Kairhyse.

"Before you ask," I've never questioned Vampires, or the Dylox in general, and the extent of what was possible, but as his shadow lifts my head and slams its cock into my mouth, I may just have to start. "I can feel everything they do."

They?!

He pulls from inside of me and sets me high onto my knees, the sensation akin to smoke billowing beneath me. A light breeze caresses my nipples, until a tangible body forms.

Oh… my Gods…

Grateful that the shadow in front of me briefly releases my head, I am able to stare down at another version of Kairhyse. Its form: features such as his eyes and hair are all there, but his skin is nearly that of night. I don't see his tattoos, but when its hands come to my neck and pull me down to kiss me, there is no difference.

His lips are as soft as his creator, the tongue that explores my mouth tastes of apples and cinnamon.

A grip on my hair pulls my head back, and up through my lashes I watch as his first shadow grabs at the hilt of his cock and brings it to my lips. Every part of me is enjoying this, and the thought that Kairhyse will feel himself in all of my holes at once, makes me thrive.

As I part my lips, my throat is immediately assaulted, just as I'm stretched at my core. I tighten my knees around the body below me, my arms still hoisted back behind me. As soon as the thrusts into me start, his fingers are pounding into my ass with as much fervor as his cock is in my cunt.

My muffled moan against his cock makes Kairhyse groan. I'm beyond my body and just floating in pleasure at this point. Nothing seems coherent except the enveloping embrace of satisfaction. I don't think I've ever heard my Amoro purr before .

Another finger presents itself in my ass, "You feel incredible, I think you're ready to be filled completely, little demon." As those words leave his lips, I know I'm going to be torn apart.

I'm not even sure how I'm able to take him. The pain that shoots through me as he slips his fingers out and forces his cock into my ass with one slow, methodical thrust, makes me choke out a scream.

My body trembles and I fall into the motion of him filling every single hole with just himself. There is one hand gripping my hair to keep my head in place, two hands at my hips and another at my waist. I have no clue what body they belong to but I'm so beyond caring.

My stomach tightens and my thighs tremble, the heat in my face nearly unbearable. I'm going to come again and there is nothing I can do to stop it, even if I tried, fucking Beyond , I feel phenomenal and my body begins to relax. As they drive into me, I twitch and squirm through the climax that shatters my entire body.

He releases a throaty groan as I clench around him. The cock that's in my mouth pulls out just as the shadow version in front of me disappears.

"Do you want me to come for you, little demon?"

"Yes!" I scream as arms wrap around my waist and hold me in place.

"Do you want to feed off me?" he says through a throaty groan, and I can hear it in his tone that he is about to lose himself in me.

"Yes. Fuck, Kai!" The sound of my arousal and his balls slapping against me create background noise as his nails bite into my hips.

Then, as though both versions of him are seeking comfort for the hilts of his cocks they thrust hard, pushing beyond the means I should be able to take. The pressure becomes overwhelming, surpassing anything I could have imagined. I lurch forward, my stomach contracting tightly as I struggle for air, caught in a whirlwind of sensation.

The disappearance of his second form below me makes me gasp, one of his arms keeping wrapped around my stomach to keep me flushed to his chest. The strings of his cum still applying pressure inside of me, making me whimper.

He releases a breath, pulling from inside of me, and without warning, turns me and falls onto the mattress with me on top of him .

"Feed." His hand runs through my hair as he presses his lips against mine. "Feed from me, Xera." His chest rises and falls as he wraps his arms around me, and unlike last time, I have no problem latching onto his lifeforce.

I don't restrain myself either, although for the first time, there's a flicker of terror within me. It's been years since I've unleashed the full force of my Amoro, knowing its potential to kill. But now, faced with this uncertainty, I question if it's even capable of killing a Vampire.

Instead of succumbing to sleep as my body craves, I simply surrender to his embrace and relish in the feeling of normalcy it brings. Because I know that the moment he drifts off and I regain my mobility, I'm going to leave.

I can't have this, not because of some stupid shit like I don't deserve it. I just… don't want it. This makes me feel good and, truthfully, I'm afraid of that.

Afraid of forgetting why I am the way that I am.

Afraid to let him in.

Afraid to become weak.

I'm just afraid of giving myself the opportunity to move on without my revenge.

There is no doubt in my mind that Kairhyse won't be giving me to Achille. If I ask him, I know he would help me find the five that destroyed my life.

I just don't want that. He shouldn't sacrifice what he has due to an obsession. I'm transient, like all good things. This place of his is amazing, Gods , I live in a shithole with a cat that isn't even mine. Kairhyse has everything, and sure he has his issues, I mean he is stalking me and just fucked me with his shadows. Obviously, he's got issues.

But I shouldn't be one of them.

I'll never give him what he wants.

I can't, because fuck me , I can't even give myself what I want.