Chapter Seventeen Jingle all the Way

Chapter seventeen

Jingle all the Way

Rick held his breath.

Staring into Jayden’s eyes, cupping his face, he willed his thrashing heart to calm so he could speak. Tell him he was sorry. Explain himself. But he didn’t have time as Jayden grabbed his neck, rammed him closer and went in for another kiss. His not so chaste. More frantic. Wanting. Desperate to find out if this was real.

It was real, alright.

At least on his part.

It had always been real on his part.

“You’re fucking infuriating ,” Jayden rasped against his lips, fingers digging into his neck. “You know that?”

Not exactly the adjective Rick would have liked spoken so seductively amid a kiss so hot it could spark a fire within their frozen corridor. It was colder here than in the unheated room of his parents’ house, and he’d sat on the floor for at least two hours, having managed to get the security man he’d met when he’d came here before with Jayden to let him in. There, he’d waited for Jayden to get home, resolve waning with each second passing and each light switching off. He’d had to keep waving his arms to turn them back on, but had given up in the end and dozed off in the darkness.

Jayden entering woke him up.

Jayden had woken him up from a lot of things. Mostly, his stupor.

Which made the infuriating comment quite warranted, actually.

“I can see how I might be.” Rick wrapped his arms around him and tugged him closer. He wasn’t close enough, though. Layers of jumpers, a trench coat and gloves, along with Jayden’s padded jacket, their bodies might as well be in different travel zones. “May I make it up to you?”

“There you go with all your ‘may I’.” Jayden sucked on Rick’s bottom lip, releasing it with a delightful pop. “In case you’ve failed to read the room, yes, you fucking may.”

Rick smiled, heart swelling. Until the actual consent switched him on to the permission granted and he grabbed Jayden, kissing him feverishly, spinning him around to slam him onto the concrete wall and wanted in his zone. Jayden hung there, allowing Rick entrance to his mouth, minute groans escaping as he darted his tongue in to remind him why he had been an absolute fool to leave him behind. And ridiculous to think there wasn’t anything here worth hanging around for.

Jayden hauled him off, chest rising and falling with staggered breaths, and Rick inhaled, fearing he hadn’t read the room correctly. “You still totally may ,” Jayden hefted out. “But can we do it in there?” He angled his head to the door of his room.

Rick stepped away, head bowed, and wiping his mouth with his gloved hand. He supposed that was better, regardless that there wasn’t anyone in the entire building. No one had come in or out in the two hours he’d waited. Jayden hadn’t been wrong about being totally alone this Christmas. So he waited in anticipatory silence, masking his strained breaths as Jayden opened the door to his room, the loud clunk of a lock turning echoing off the desolate walls. There, he stood against the cast iron door to allow Rick entrance to his room.

Rick tugged off his gloves and stepped over the threshold into Jayden’s life. He’d not been inside before. When Jayden had collected his things a week ago, Rick had remained outside. But now he could see everything that made up Jayden Collins. Because everything Jayden had, everything he owned and wanted, was in here. This wasn’t half his space like the others along the corridor who all had another place to call their own. This was Jayden’s only space.

All that he had.

An intimate cocoon, with posters and pictures adorning the whitewashed walls exploded with colour and excitement, the way he’d brought that same colour and excitement to Rick’s life. Shakespeare’s brooding figures alongside Beckett’s austere portraits contrasted with the amateur bills from his own university productions and dotted around iconic film posters expected of a university student. Jayden had an eclectic taste in entertainment, from the old to the brand new. His desk in the corner, littered with books and a laptop, had stacks of scripts teetering precariously on the end, along with printed photographs of him with various people propped up by holders, all of them showing someone just as young, just as beautiful. They sent a pang of apprehension through him, highlighting their age difference. How could this last beyond the New Year when all those people in all those photos would soon return and Jayden’s life went back to how it had been before Rick tumbled into it? He was a relic of a bygone era that had somehow stumbled into the present.

Into Jayden’s present.

Because his own was stagnant in comparison.

Then he saw the bin bag dumped on the floor by his stool. Overwhelming guilt, regret and remorse hit him. How could he have let his fear get the better of him? How could he have sent Jayden away so carelessly?

Not again.

“Jayden, I—”

Jayden cut off his apology by leaping at him for a kiss. “No talking.” He wriggled out of his jacket, lips chasing Rick’s. “No asking permission. I give it.” He ripped off his jumper and ripped open his jeans. “Fuck me, Rick.” He looked into his eyes, panting warm breath into his face. “I want you to fuck me.”

Rick went to say something, but Jayden pressed a finger to his lips, holding his gaze for him to prove how serious he was. Rick’s pulse rocketed, his heart pounded, and his dick throbbed. Jayden removed his finger to kiss him. Lighter that time. More heartfelt. Romantic .

Jayden stepped back and gestured to him. “Take it off.” He leant over to his bedside cabinet, opening the drawer. “All I want for Christmas,” he held up a bottle of lube, “is you inside me.”

“Did you write to Santa for that?”

Jayden quirked a smile. “Nah. I think he already knew what I wanted.”

Rick threw his gloves to the floor, unfastening the buttons on his coat with leisure. “I believe he hoped it’s what you wanted. Are you…tested?”

“Yes. Regularly at uni. Clear. On PrEP. You?”

“Tested after Derek. Clear. No one for a year.”

“Then it’s nearly midnight.” Jayden lowered his jeans and underwear in one swift movement, kicking them off. “Better get a wriggle on.”

“Lie down. Santa’s coming.”

“He better be.” Jayden didn’t take his eyes off him as he clambered onto the bed, lay on his back, and stroked himself while Rick shed his clothes.

It was strange, somehow. That Jayden would find him attractive. He wasn’t unattractive. But he wasn’t like any of the men in the photographs that had made it onto a space on his wall or desk. It didn’t seem to matter to Jayden, though, as he crooked a finger on the hand he wasn’t using to jerk himself off and beckoned Rick to him.

He had to remember there was also a poster of Iago from Othello on his wall.

So Rick went forth with all the confidence of that character and, crawling atop Jayden on the small, rickety single bed, he kissed him. Without room to roll around, or lie side by side, Rick had to press his weight onto him, kissing him, exploring him, hard dick pressed against hard dick. Jayden wrapped his legs around him, shifting up for Rick to roam his hands underneath. He was so smooth. So tight. So desperately beautiful, Rick could stay like this forever. Then the rickety metal bed creaked beneath him and he winced.

Jayden grabbed his face. “Don’t hold back, no one’s here.” He kissed him. “It’s like space. No one can hear you scream.”

“Thank fuck for that.” Rick nipped his chin. “Because there are some things I’d like to do that might make you scream.”

“Promises, promises.”

Rick growled, shunting him down into a mattress that had probably had dozens of encounters like this working those springs over the years. He tried not to think about that as he delved his tongue into Jayden’s mouth and lapped away his playfulness until he was complicit and begging. Only then did Rick shimmy down his body, roaming over smooth, supple skin with his tongue, circling his belly button, then closed his lips around the head of Jayden’s cock. He kept their gazes locked as he leaned back as far as he could without tumbling off the edge of the single bed, then flicked his tongue over Jayden’s tip, tasting the leakage seeping out, the salty tang sending him wild with unfettered lust.

Jayden groaned, settling back, and sinking his fingers into the strands of Rick’s hair. “Fuck, yeah.” He hoisted his hips, a not-so-subtle sign he wanted Rick to gulp him to the root.

All in good time. Rick liked to taste first. Jayden was like a corked bottle of fine wine. He had to be sampled. So Rick licked around his glans, planted open-mouthed kisses down his shaft to suckle on his balls, feeling his cock harden and pulsate behind his lips. He then licked back up Jayden’s vein to the tip where, there, he opened his mouth and allowed Jayden to thrust into him. Jayden arched his back, fucking Rick’s mouth in slow, deep strokes, honouring every suck with a delicious groan. Rick slapped his thigh, clicking his fingers, and Jayden got the prompt, handing down the lube to him. He didn’t remove his mouth from pleasuring Jayden while he worked the viscous liquid into his fingers, stroking behind to smooth around Jayden’s entrance.

Releasing Jayden’s cock, Rick shimmied onto his knees and gazed down at the most beautiful sight he’d ever seen. Jayden, half-fucked and waiting to be finished, cock leaking over his glorious belly. The moment was too precious to rush, and he lathered himself and Jayden up, jerking their cocks together in one hand for a while so he could taste his mouth, kiss his groans, lap up those delightful desperate whimpers escaping him.

Jayden grappled behind himself, curling his hands around the metal poles of the headboard and offered himself out. It should be all the consent Rick needed, but he coated himself in more lube, a thrill dancing the length of his spine and hardening his cock, and fought the need to ask. To make sure. To not overstep or force anything.

“Go on, ask me,” Jayden breathed out, a cocksure smile deepening his cheeks. “I like it, really.”

“May I fuck you?”

“Yes, you fucking may .”

Rick probed the tip of his cock to Jayden’s hole, the tight ring of muscle relenting with each painstaking dip into him. Slick, tight heat engulfed his cock and his eyes rolled to the back of his head, the glorious pleasure racing through him to make him sweat. Oh, God, it had been too long. Far too long to have not been inside another man like this. With each new inch delving further into Jayden’s hot tunnel, Rick trembled, and he held Jayden’s gaze, watching his lips part, his breath hitch, then releasing a slow exhale around his name as he breached him.

“ Jayden .” Rick paused, savouring the connection of their two bodies. Like slotting into place. The missing piece. “You’re stunning,” he rasped. “Fucking stunning .”

“Not so bad yourself.” Jayden’s voice was barely audible above the rustle of fabric and creaking of metal bed legs, and Rick couldn’t prevent himself from moving, from sliding out, then easing back inside him like he belonged there.

Jayden arched his back, attempting to get more of Rick into him, the back of his head buried in the thin pillow. Rick gripped his hips, speeding up, flesh slapping flesh and, fuck, God , it was like an out-of-body experience. Heavenly . The mattress creaked in protest under their combined weight, and Jayden’s knuckles whitened with his tightening grip on the metal poles behind him as Rick fucked him.

Not fucked him. Far too…glib.

Made love to him.

“Rick, fuck , Rick,” Jayden gasped around each cry of his name. “You’re good. So fucking good. Keep giving it to me. Just like this. Always like this!”

Jayden was garbling, and Rick loved it. And he grabbed his legs, pushing them back, almost bending Jayden double as he shifted on his knees, twisted the angle so he could reach the right spot. And he did. Again and again, sending Jayden into more fits of gratifying moans and cries loud enough to be heard all the way in Soho.

“Oh, fuck, Rick! There . Right fucking there !”

Eat your heart out, Simeon.

Sweat poured from his skin as Rick increased his rhythm, keeping up the relentless pace of hitting Jayden’s prostate with feverish thrusts. He slipped a wet hand between them, tugging on Jayden’s balls, massaging his cock, thumb gliding over the tip and Jayden quaked, giving himself over to Rick’s expertise. That was one advantage to being the older one. Experience . And he put everything he’d ever learnt into Jayden, tipping him to the edge, easing out his cock, prodding the tip to Jayden’s open hole and waited.

Jayden peered up, chest rising and falling with his rabid pants. “Don’t fucking stop!”

“Just checking you’re still with me.”

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else.”

“Good.” Rick inched back in with gentle cadence, grading them down to slow and sensual. “Like this?”

“Oh, god, yeah ,” Jayden breathed out, trembling. “Fuck yeah .” He stroked his cock as heat pooled low in Rick’s belly, sparking through his veins like wildfire. Each plunge deeper into him brought Rick closer and closer. His balls drew up tight. Body thrummed. Mind blown .

“Jayden, fuck, Jayden …” Rick stuttered as he came inside him, moderated thrusts allowing him to ride out every rapturous second of his exploding orgasm.

Jayden fisted his cock, desperate to match his fervency, but Rick inched out of him, lowering his legs to the bed and shimmied between them, opening his mouth for Jayden to feed him his cock. He sucked on him with delirium, relishing Jayden’s moans, his muttered expletives, and the way he hissed when Rick tightened his throat around him. Gripping the railings behind him, he arched his back, submerging more of his cock into Rick’s mouth and Rick ran his hands up Jayden’s thighs in encouragement, humming and drooling, forcing him to his limit, until Jayden spilled himself with a hoarse shout ricocheting off the vacant walls.

“Fuck, Rick !”

Rick swallowed his release with gluttony, then suckled off and there wasn’t much room to do anything else but fall into a heap on top of him. Jayden wrapped his arms and legs around him, bodies slick with sweat and lube, and kissed him. They lay there for a while, letting the stillness settle over them like a gentle blanket. Then when their breaths returned, synching each inhale and exhale to float over the tension, and their bodies mingled, legs tangled in a lazy knot, Jayden pressed his lips to Rick’s ear. “Santa came to town, all right.”

Rick chuckled, deep and rumbling. He could think of a thousand comebacks. Pun after pun. But they’d played the roles of Santa and elf for long enough, and whilst it had been fun and frolicsome, and had given Rick his life back, it blurred the lines between them. Of what they were and could become. And right then, all Rick wanted to be was himself . With Jayden. For him to know, to understand, and to believe in him . Rick. How he felt.

Just a man. Falling in love.

He rose over him, holding his gaze until Jayden succumbed, sinking beneath him, and came undone under his scrutiny. There might still be an abundance of apprehension. Fear of what happened next. They both had abandonment issues. But right here, now, entangled in each other, in the sanctuary of Jayden’s stained sheets, there was a validation in their muted gazes that this was something. Could be something. If they allowed it.

Something incredible .

Their silence was like a fir tree pulled from the ground, naked and expectant, waiting for the first stroke of colour and treasured decorative trinkets to become something wonderful.

“I know this is incredibly fast,” Rick was the brave one to speak first and his voice trembled, betraying the vulnerability that the rugged lines on his face often concealed. He might have lived a thousand lives on stage, but it was his own he always feared exhibiting the most. “But I would really like to spend Christmas with you.”

Jayden’s lips curved into a smile, indenting adorable dimples in his cheeks. “I’d like that, too.”

Rick kissed him, slow and sweet, stroking his nose along his. “At my place, of course.”

“For sure. ‘Cause I only have a pot noodle. And Soho has a better view of the Christmas lights. Plus, double bed.” Jayden wriggled his hips beneath him, probably to get some air in his lungs.

Rick stroked down Jayden’s side, squeezing himself against the wall as much as he could to slide off his chest and hold him. “No, I didn’t mean there.”

“Oh.” Jayden bit his lip. “You have another gaff in the city, do ya?”

“No. I have a cottage in Yorkshire.” He kissed Jayden’s nose. “Or at least my parents do.”

Jayden leaned back, brow furrowing, probably figuring out what Rick was actually asking him. “You…want me to spend Christmas in Yorkshire? With your family ?”

“Yes.”

Rick toyed with a curl of Jayden’s hair, twisting it idly as he awaited Jayden’s reply. His hesitation wreaked havoc with his nerves. A year ago, he’d been like this. Had a moment just like this one. When he’d produced a jewellery box and offered Derek the key to his heart, only to have it thrown back at him, then used to lock him away from all he cherished. And fear gripped him then. The apprehension that it might all happen again had him choking. But he couldn’t keep hiding in the wings. He belonged centre stage.

As did Jayden.

“Okay,” Jayden said, cutting the silence. “Okay, I can do that.”

Rick grinned and kissed him. “Then we best get dressed. It’s a four-hour drive.”

“Drive?”

“’Fraid so. I borrowed my father’s car, and it’s currently parked outside the campus. I imagine it’s had a couple of fines by now.”

“Oh, shit.” Jayden pushed him off, clambering out of bed, sending Rick collapsing onto his front and landing face first into the pillow. “You should’ve said!”

“It’s fine.”

“It ain’t fine. You know how much they charge for parking on a double yella?”

“I imagine rather a lot but maybe they will extend the season of goodwill for Santa’s sleigh, eh?”

“I doubt it. This is London.”

“Then you’re worth every penny they squeeze out of me.”

Jayden arched an eyebrow over his shoulder and yanked open a drawer. “Won’t be if you get towed away and we have to collect it from the pound.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Nutter.” Jayden shook his head with a fond smile. “Do I have time to shower?”

Rick rose on his elbow to watch Jayden and his glorious nakedness rummaging around his room. “There’s no hurry.”

“It’s midnight, Rick! You want to get there on Christmas morning, right?”

“Why? To see if Santa left me anything under the tree?”

Jayden crouched down in front of him, propping his chin on the edge of the bed. “If you want me to spend Christmas day with you, in a country cottage, with an open fire, a real tree and all the trimmings, then I want to be there for it all.”

Rick’s heart warmed, and he wriggled over to kiss him. “You can stay until New Year. Or longer.”

Jayden widened his eyes. “You serious?”

Rick kissed him again, then glanced over to the clock on his cabinet. It hit midnight. “Happy Christmas.”

Jayden stood bolt upright, his flaccid penis at Rick’s eye level. “We have to shower!” He grabbed a towel from his radiator, then dragged Rick up by his hand. “I can’t turn up at your parents’ cottage stinking of sex!”

Rick went to protest but then thought, fuck it, and chased Jayden to the door to shower with him.

“Oh, just one thing.” Jayden turned to face him. “I saw Derek.”

“What? When ?”

“I’ve had a weird sort of day. Lost my job. The mall closed for good, so I lost my cleaning job too.”

“Oh, Jayd—”

“Delivered all the presents to my old children’s home, then went walking the streets and sort of found myself outside his theatre. He really is an arrogant prick.”

“Agreed. Although, I was only privy to that after all the revelations. His talent knows no bounds. I have a feeling he’s completely unaware of how much of a bellend he really is.”

“I asked him to tell the truth. He won’t.”

“I doubt he will.”

“It’s made me rethink things. I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to put my career before my integrity.”

“We’re not all like that.”

“I know.” Jayden raked his fingers through Rick’s hair. “But I think I want to do something good. Worthwhile. My Plan B just became my Plan A.”

Rick wrapped his arms around him, cupping Jayden’s bare arse. “You’re wonderful.”

Jayden smiled, then kissed him and opened the door, and they giggled like schoolboys crossing the communal corridor into the shared shower room, where they squirmed inside the cubicle meant for one, hot water cascading over them as they washed each other, rinsing away the pain of their pasts to make way for a new start.

Once showered, dressed and Jayden packed, shoving clothes into a bag rather than a bin liner, gathering up his dissertation with the second promise he find time to work on it, they raced outside where Rick’s dad’s Riley Kestrel parked on the curb outside the gates of UCL donned a rather fetching a yellow sticker slapped to the front windshield. A parking fine.

“Fancy issuing Santa a fucking parking fine on Christmas eve!” Rick muttered as he ripped it off, then opened the passenger door to let Jayden in.

When he was in the driver’s seat, he started the engine and on doing so, a string of multicoloured fairy lights illuminated the inside of the car with It’s Christmas Time blasting out from the CD player.

“Oh, my days !” Jayden’s jaw dropped.

“I don’t just drive.” Rick winked. “I sleigh .”

The way Jayden tossed his head back and laughed had Rick believing in the magic of Christmas all over again.