Chapter Eleven Sugar and Spice

Chapter eleven

Sugar and Spice

Rick crawled up onto the bed, dragging Jayden with him, and he was so beautifully fucked. A bundle of loose limbs with a euphoric smile hinting he was still in the throes of the aftereffects of a mind altering orgasm.

Rick hadn’t even fucked him.

He’d wanted to, but Jayden’s groans of pleasure when he’d had his tongue lapping up his scent had driven Rick wild and unable to stop. Jayden hadn’t seemed to mind. Especially if the satisfied look on his face as Rick draped his arms around him so he could lay himself out and enjoy his come down while resting the back of his head on Rick’s chest was to be believed. Rick smiled, the erratic rhythm of his heartbeat subsiding to a gentle and content thrum. Jayden’s chest rose and fell in synch with his own, a quiet symphony of shared breaths in the dim light filtering over his bare body. His skin shone. Glistened.

He was so damn exquisite .

Rick’s mind was a carousel of thoughts, each horse painted with vivid streaks of passion and tenderness, except for one lone one, unable to gallop because of the tense, gnawing fear. He’d been here before. Thrown from his horse and had landed with a career-ending bump. He still bore the bruises. But Jayden lying on him, sprawled out, dark curls damp with sweat and sticking to his forehead, made him want to try and shut off the merry-go-round in his head to at least enjoy this moment.

No matter what happened next.

Last Christmas…

“Rick?” Jayden’s voice was a soft whisper, cutting through the silence with the precision of a well-rehearsed monologue.

Rick pressed his lips to Jayden’s ear. “Yes?”

“That…was fucking amazing.”

Rick chuckled. “Agreed.” He kissed Jayden’s temple, holding him close. Not wanting to let him go. He didn’t want this to end. Couldn’t bear for another perfect man to walk out of this bedroom and lead another life.

One that didn’t involve him.

But nor did he have any right to Jayden. They’d only just met.

He’d known Derek years, and that hadn’t changed the outcome.

He wanted to bask in the glory of a great night. A shared passion. Take this for what it was. Two men, alone during the festive season, using each other for company. He didn’t need to wallow in what happened next. Just enjoy the now. It wasn’t often he had a beautiful man in his bed. Might as well make the most of it. He stroked a hand down Jayden’s chest to his stomach, feeling the smooth, youthful skin stretched over taut muscle and revelled in the damp moisture excreted from one seriously hot night locked inside from the freezing winter, proving to himself that Jayden wasn’t a dream.

He grazed his lips to Jayden’s ear. “Do you need anything?”

“You. On tap.” Jayden twisted in his arms, rising to kiss him. A languid kiss. A kiss Rick didn’t rush to end, and he wrapped his arms around him, massaging his buttocks as he deepened a kiss that brought his heart back to life.

“You’re so tasty,” Rick said as Jayden dipped away, a youthful zeal etched into every feature of Jayden’s face as he held his gaze.

“So are you.” Jayden licked up Rick’s neck, then travelled down, planting kisses along to his sternum, face planted in his chest hair as he circled each nipple with his tongue. “You’re a bit addictive. Can’t get enough of you.”

“If you’re trying to arouse me for another round, you might have to wait a few minutes at least.” Rick raked his fingers through Jayden’s hair to raise his face from where it was buried in his stomach. “I’m not as young as I used to be.”

Jayden tutted, then splayed his hands on Rick’s chest, dumping his chin on top to flutter his long eyelashes at him. He was so adorable. So playful. Like the elf he’d been depicting. It was heartwarming and gut wrenching all at once.

Jayden was the sort of man who could tear Rick’s heart apart and leave it shattered as he walked away.

“Fine. I can wait.” Jayden’s chin wobbled as he spoke, digging into Rick’s chest. “What shall we do while we wait?”

“How about I feed you?”

“Food? I could eat food. What do you have?”

“Sadly, not much. Hadn’t expected guests. My grocery list mostly contains meals for one. How about I order pizza? There’s an independent Italian close by who delivers. Real Italian. None of that commercial nonsense.”

“Perish the thought.” Jayden mock shuddered, putting on his best king’s English.

“Elocution lessons paying off.”

“Why, thank you, kind sir.” Jayden tipped his invisible cap.

Rick chuckled. “Not a sir.”

“Maybe one day.”

Rick sidestepped that, knowing full well it wouldn’t ever happen. Not if everyone knew. “Is there anything you don’t eat on pizza?”

“Pineapple. Like a normal person. Anchovies. Like a normal person. Anything else is golden.”

“I’ll be right back.” Rick leaned down to kiss him, before reluctantly having to squirm from beneath him and slip to the end of the bed.

Jayden rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow, delectable nude body a perfect accompaniment to Rick’s pure white, silky sheets. Rick had an urge to jump straight back on him and wrap his mouth around his flaccid cock that was just leaning to the side and leaving a slither of wetness on Jayden’s thigh. He could revive it for round two. For Jayden’s pleasure, at least. He didn’t need the break, and Rick was more a giver than a receiver, anyway. But Jayden’s growling stomach put an end to that thought and he opened his wardrobe to throw on a T-shirt and a pair of boxers, then trudged out to the living room.

Jayden’s call stopped him at the door. “I can give you my half next week.”

Rick peered over his shoulder. “Your half?”

“For the pizza. After payday.”

Rick’s heart melted, like the cheese would on the sourdough. “This is my treat. You don’t owe me anything.”

Jayden rolled onto his back, hand stroking his chest. “You sure? I don’t want you to think I’d invited myself here for you to pay for my dinner.”

“What did you invite yourself here for, then?”

“To be your dinner.”

Rick laughed. “You’re more a feast.”

Jayden winked. “Maybe I’ll let you nibble the leftovers later.”

“I’ll save some room.”

Rick left Jayden falling back onto his bed, arms behind his head, to find his phone in the lounge and ordered the pizzas via his app. He then grabbed the red wine glasses from the windowsill and rushed back into the bedroom, not wanting to waste a single second of Jayden wrapped up in his sheets. He caught him shuffling back onto the bed on his front, still gloriously naked, spying on what he kept on his bedside cabinet, and that impish, coquettish smile of his had Rick ready to pounce. But Jayden draped a sheet over his modesty and sat up, so Rick handed him the wine instead.

“What did you find?” Rick asked, climbing beside him.

“Hmm?” Jayden feigned innocence as he sipped from his glass, resting up against the headrest.

“You were snooping.”

“I weren’t.”

Rick arched an eyebrow.

“I was checking out your photo.” Jayden angled his head to the framed picture perched on his cabinet. “That you?”

Rick leaned over, as if he didn’t already know the picture Jayden was referring to considering he’d had it propped up by his bed for the past fifteen years. “The child, yes. Those are my parents.”

“They look nice.”

“They are. That’s our house in Dore.”

“Nice gaff.”

“It’s a little pretentious.” It was. In comparison.

A cottage. Thatched roof. Beautiful garden surrounded by tulips and daffodils. An arched entrance to the front yard with the little metal gate screaming quaint Yorkshire countryside living. Everything in his life was going to feel pretentious and overindulgent when compared with Jayden’s upbringing. He was being fed the life lesson his parents had tried to instil in him—be thankful because other people might not have even a smidgen of what he did.

“Don’t downplay it, Rick. You’re from somewhere nice. Like you said to me, own that shit.”

Rick took a sip of wine and twisted to face Jayden. “I had a privileged upbringing. I’m aware of it.”

“Not everyone is lucky enough to have been born into abject poverty.” Jayden grinned. “If they had, Dickens wouldn’t have had anything to write about.”

Rick didn’t know what to say to that, but it made him want to hold Jayden tighter. Shield him from the world that had let him suffer. Instead, Jayden continued the conversation as if sarcasm was his safety mechanism.

“Do you miss it? Home, I mean? Yorkshire?”

“Sometimes. More so recently. It feels like a million miles away and a lifetime ago.”

“Did that little boy in the picture see himself here? Soho? Olivier Award? Treading the boards with the best?”

“He hoped it, yes. But much has changed since that child with highflying dreams got here. Things were simpler back then. There. Yorkshire.”

“How so?”

“Being sheltered from the grim truth of what it means to achieve success was rather nice for a while.”

Jayden held his gaze, chewing on his bottom lip. He was plucking up the courage to ask, and Rick wasn’t sure he wanted him to. They’d had such a lovely time, he didn’t want to spoil it with wretched pasts. But then he said, “What does it mean?”

“What?”

“Success.”

“Accepting not everyone will want you to have it. And can rip it from you in a heartbeat.”

Jayden drank from his wine, seeming to ponder that. Rick didn’t want to dampen his spirit. But he wished he’d been told to be wary. Look out for the ones who’d sooner stab him in the back than see him go from strength to strength. To be cautious of those wanting what he had.

Careless whispers merged effortlessly into vicious lies.

But Jayden didn’t pry any further. Perhaps he’d picked up on Rick’s hesitancy to lay everything out and risk Jayden believing others, and instead continued his interrogation. “Did you always know you wanted to be an actor?”

“My mum says she knew from birth I’d be on stage. Apparently, her labour was overly dramatic. All started there.”

Jayden chuckled into his glass.

“But, yes. I suppose I did. I was part of a drama group early on. Was always into poetry and reading. I made my own theatre in the back garden and would put on shows for my parents and their friends. With me playing all parts, of course.”

“Of course.”

“My love for it never diminished. I was on stage at eight. The boards of Sheffield’s Broadway Theatre were the first ones I trod. And I loved it. Being on stage in front of an audience. I got such a buzz from it.”

“Do you still?”

Rick thought about that. Long and hard. He drank from his wine. Freudian slip with the past tense, perhaps? Perhaps not. “Sometimes.”

“What changed? What took the stars out of the eyes of that little boy?”

“Reality.”

“Sucks.”

“Indeed.” Rick didn’t want to say anymore. He didn’t want to dull Jayden’s sparkle. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“What are your plans? Dreams? To roam the stage? Fill a screen? Don a rather fetching costume forever?”

Jayden propped himself up against the wall, knee brushing Rick’s. Rick couldn’t help but lay a hand on him, and he stroked his fingers along his leg, hairs tickling his fingertips.

“Plan A was to get an agent. Go for either stage or screen. But I’ve had shit luck with that so far. Done a few auditions but ain’t landed anything significant. Plan B is to work in a theatre. Do some youth work. Drama workshops.” He wriggled closer to Rick, as if he didn’t want any air between them. It was nice. Comfortable. “That dissertation I’ve not started? It’s on how drama and theatre can give kids in care confidence and hope. Give them a family. It did for me, anyway. Maybe something could come of that? Could apply for a grant and run holiday schemes or after-school clubs for kids in need. Y’know, like the free school meals holiday programme? Allow disadvantaged kids a safe space to get out of their own heads for a while.”

“Sounds a wonderful idea.”

“You think?” Jayden glanced up at him with those all-encompassing green eyes filled with hope and bravery.

Innocence and naivety.

“Theatre can have the power to do good,” Rick said. “When it’s accessible. Inclusive. Everyone can have a role to play, regardless of background and ability. That’s what theatre should be about. Not accolades and high-profile roles. But giving everyone the chance to have their moment. Being in the spotlight, even for a moment, does wonders for the human spirit.”

Jayden grinned. “Think I saw a spark of the little Rick back then?”

Rick glanced down at his groin. “Really? That’ll be a Christmas miracle.”

Jayden nudged his shoulder with his. “You know what I mean.”

“It’s been a while since I remembered what it was I enjoyed about acting. I was so stubborn to cling on, I hadn’t really thought about what I was clinging on to. And for what reason.” He sipped from his drink with a resolute shrug. “Other than my reputation.”

Jayden twisted onto his side to face him, glass dangling from his hand and resting on the pillow. If he wasn’t careful, he’d stain the pure white sheets with the purple splodges and he’d never get them out. Somehow, Rick didn’t care. It would forever be a reminder of how he’d once had the most stunning man in his bed.

“What happened?” Jayden held his gaze, gnawing on his bottom lip. “To you, I mean. How did you fall off the stage?”

There was curiosity in his green eyes, and a kindness Rick couldn’t deny. But how could he ruin that? He inhaled. Sharply. Then blew the air out, composing himself to explain the intricacies of what had caused his downfall. Maybe Jayden wouldn’t judge him? Maybe he’d understand. He’d kept it all to himself for so long, letting everyone believe the lies and spread the rumours, losing every part of himself to the haters. Maybe it was time to tell his truth to someone who might listen?

But a buzz rang out through the apartment, preventing Rick from uttering any part of it.

“The pizza,” he said, clambering off the bed.

“That was quick!”

“They’re at the end of the road and I’ve been ordering from them for years.”

Rick rushed out to the front door, buzzing the delivery guy in. He met him halfway on the stairs as always, hating the idea they trudged up three flights and he remain at the top like some duke awaiting his feast. He gave the guy a decent tip too, then took the two boxes back into the bedroom where Jayden was standing up, putting on his boxers.

“I was rather hoping we’d eat in bed.”

Jayden stood, underwear now covering his glory. “You got pure white sheets, Rick. Might get ruined.”

“They’re already dirty and I’ll be washing them after tonight, anyway.” Rick slipped the boxes onto the bed, then ripped off his T-shirt. “I rather like you lounging in my bed.”

Keeping his underwear on, Jayden joined him, cross-legged on the bed, and opened the boxes. He sniffed. “Smells awesome. What we got?”

“Pesto e Stracciatella.”

Jayden widened his eyes, impressed. “Played an Italian, have you?”

“Of course. In fair Verona …”

Jayden ripped out a triangle from the pizza, the edge dipping from the oozy mozzarella and extra thin, extra crispy sourdough base. He took a bite and hummed.

“We played Romeo and Juliet last term.” Jayden swallowed his mouthful. “Made them from inner city London. Sort of north and south divide. Romeo should not have gone south of the river.”

“Should anyone?”

Jayden took a bite and laughed. “Careful there. Woolwich is south.”

“But are you originally from Woolwich?”

Jayden shrugged. “Originally, I’ll never know.”

“Where were you born? What’s on your birth certificate?”

“Hackney General. But we moved around. That’s just where Mum was when she went into labour. Social services picked me up in Beckton. So I suppose, technically, as the London Borough of Newham is my corporate parent, I’d have to pledge allegiance to the north. But if I find out my dad was from somewhere nice, I’ll deny it.”

“Are you searching for him?”

“Nah. No point. Mum don’t know. Be impossible to find out unless someone stumbles on his DNA. Which would mean he’d be a crim. So, best not to know.”

“I guess we can all agree Northerners are best, then.”

“At what?”

“Everything.”

“Best at picking what to eat.”

Rick cocked his head with a sly grin. “Absolutely.”

Jayden blushed.

Rick picked up a slice of pizza from the other box and took a bite with a wicked chuckle. “This one is Bufala Mozzarella. For if you prefer the simple, traditional.”

“Simple works for me. They’re both smashing, mate. Really good.” Jayden spoke with his mouth full, as if he hadn’t eaten a decent meal in months. “Can’t remember the last time I ate like this.”

Rick smiled, and his stomach twisted all at once. He vowed to continue to feed Jayden for as long as he still wanted him to.

“So what’s your plans for Christmas?” Jayden asked, wiping the crumbs from his lap. “The actual day, that is?”

“Delivering presents to all the children, of course.”

Jayden chuckled. “Want a little helper for that?”

“Absolutely.”

“Seriously, though. Are you going back to Yorkshire?” There was a hint of vulnerability behind the question, as if Jayden were asking for his own sake. To soften the blow of finding out that he’d be all alone.

“The invitation is always open for me to go back home. I always have a train ticket bought in advance on Christmas Eve. I didn’t go last year, though…” He stopped. Gulped. Blinked away the lasting remnants of Last Christmas running around and around in his head.

Jayden chewed through his slice. “Must be nice to know you’ve always got a home there. Somewhere to go when you need time out.”

Rick hung his head. “Yeah. I probably should have gone back there this year, but unfortunately, I buried my head in the sand and hadn’t told them I wasn’t working. They currently believe I’m in panto.”

Jayden cocked his head. “Why?”

“I didn’t want them to Google anything.”

Jayden shook his head, mouth full of pizza. “Can’t find anything decent out, anyway.” He peered into one of the pizza boxes, deciding which slice to go for next.

Rick held his breath, heart thudding. When Jayden glanced back up, he winced.

“You must’ve known I’d look you up?”

“I suppose you would have.”

“Would they be upset with you? Not having a job?”

“More disappointed. They’re getting on, and I didn’t want to trouble them with my woes. I should look after them in their later years, not the other way around.”

“Ain’t that what parents are for, though? Real parents, I mean. Not the corporate gobshites I have who just tell me to stay out of trouble.”

“Do you listen to them?”

Jayden winked. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re an exceptionally mature young man, despite your playful exterior, and are perfectly capable of assessing a situation and making your own decisions.”

“Impressive. That come from your character notes?”

“Observations.”

“Well,” Jayden rubbed his hands together, getting rid of the crumbs, “can’t say I’ve always made the right decisions. There are a few blokes I wish I’d said no to. But I learnt from those and now have an endgame.”

“Which is?”

“To not end up a statistic.”

“I think you’ve already proven you’re not.”

Jayden shrugged. “But what about you? You’re not giving up, are you? You’ll get back to the stage, right?”

“Maybe.”

Jayden ripped another bite from his pizza. “Do you not want to?”

“Unsure. I thought I did. But…sometimes I think it would all be easier if I went back to Yorkshire. Permanently. Did something different.”

“Like what?”

Rick peered up to the ceiling, locating the part of himself he’d not engaged with for a while. “I always dreamt of opening my own theatre,” he said with an air of wistful indulgence. “See my parents beaming from the front row again. They’ve not made it to any of my performances in years. I’d like to give them the chance. Be on stage for the love of it, not for the critics or the accolades.” He could hear his voice was merging into the sour bitterness he’d favoured of late. His love for everything he’d once cherished diminishing with every day passing.

Jayden’s face fell into a mirage of seriousness. “What happened, Rick? Who dulled your sparkle?”

Rick’s heart thumped. But the moment was abruptly shattered when a crescendo of moans and muffled thuds from the other side of the wall filtered over their connection.

Jayden baulked. “What the fuck is that?”

“Simeon.” Rick rolled his eyes. “With his flavour of the night.”

Unabashed and loud, Simeon’s lover for the evening screamed his name, the headboard once again bashing against Rick’s and the groans more erratic. It was nothing like how he and Jayden had been together. It was the hard and fast. Wham bam.

“Sounds like his flavour of the night is enjoying it.”

“They usually do. He’s quite efficient at what he does. Comes from regular practice.”

“You… know from experience?”

“Me and Simeon?” Rick barked a laugh. “I’m not sure we’re compatible.”

“You like that, yeah? You want my cock? Take it.” Simeon’s muffled demands filtered through the brickwork, along with the groans and grunts from his bedfellow. They could almost hear the slap of flesh, Simeon spanking the poor boy’s arse.

Jayden grimaced. “I know which room I’d rather be in.” He then slammed the pizza boxes shut, dumping them on the floor, and tackled Rick to the bed, kissing him. “Yours, by the way.”

“Good to hear it.”

The noises increased from next door, rattling the bed, and Jayden crawled on top of him, tight body enveloping him, then dipped away to look him in the eye. “Y’know what you did earlier. With your tongue.”

“Mmm?”

“I’ve not had that done to me before.”

“No?”

“Not like that anyway.” Jayden kissed him and Rick splayed his hands over his arse, gently teasing his fingers into his waistband to feel those gloriously tight cheeks. He had a great arse. An edible arse.

“Did you like it?”

“Fuck yeah. Did I not make that obvious?”

“Perhaps you should be as vocal as the fellow next door—”

“Harder. Fucking harder. That’s it! There!” Grunt, gasp, slam.

Jayden snorted, then kissed Rick, deepening it, sucking on Rick’s tongue as if it were a candy cane. “Reckon we could give them a run for their money.” He angled his head to the wall.

“There’ll be finished in a minute. What Simeon boasts in quantity, he lacks in stamina.”

“Then let’s show them our second act.” Jayden wormed down Rick’s body, kissing as he went, then shunted off Rick’s underwear to once again take Rick in his mouth. It had been a long time since Rick had got hard twice in one night, but just looking at Jayden gorging on his cock was enough to recount the days in his youth when he’d been able to. So he settled back in the sheets and enjoyed the unprecedented second blowjob for a while.

Then Jayden slipped off, wiping his lips with his wrist, and grinned. “I’m ready to scream through the walls if you’re game?”

God, he was sexy. Rick couldn’t quite believe his luck.

“Are you sure you’re ready for me again?” Rick asked, having not believed he’d been allowed as far as he had the first time. Not everyone was into what he was into.

“Let’s find out.”

Rick sat up, gaze intense. “Then face the wall for me, sweetheart. Get ready to project up to the gods.”

Jayden shivered, his body melting into the mattress like warmed salted caramel oozing from an M&S Christmas pudding. It was evident Jayden craved tenderness and Rick wanted to give it to him in abundance with whispered endearments and breathy consent. He might not have had much of it in his life thus far, so Rick was happy to make up for the lack of care and attention. He wasn’t into Daddy kink as such, but he’d slipped into the caretaker role many times, and it was his preferred set up.

Derek had enjoyed that, too.

Despite what he says to the contrary.

Jayden complied with Rick’s order, eager body quivering as he positioned himself on all fours, face buried in the soft pillow. Rick rose to his knees behind him, running his hands over his backside, feeling the firm muscles tense beneath his touch.

“You want me here?” Rick licked along the crevice of Jayden’s arse.

“Fuck, yeah. Get your tongue inside me, Rick.”

Rick spread Jayden’s cheeks apart, planting teasing kisses along the sensitive skin. Jayden let out a quiet moan of appreciation and Rick took his time, savouring his taste and texture before plunging his tongue deeper, exploring every inch of Jayden’s most intimate area. The room filled with the sounds of Jayden’s trembling breath and Rick’s eager exploration, drowning out the thuds from next door. Or maybe they’d stopped. Finished. Climaxed. Who knew? Who cared? Not Rick, because he was nose deep in Jayden and lapping him up like a cat would cream.

“Fuck, Rick, fuck, fuck, fuck !” Jayden cried out, balling his fists in the pillows. “I can’t…oh, God, it’s so good. Don’t stop.”

Rick pulled back for a moment, catching his breath before whispering, “You like that, sweetheart?”

“Yeah. Keep going. Keep fucking going !”

“You want to come like this?”

“Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah . Please.” Jayden palmed his dick. “I’m so close it fucking hurts .”

Rick resumed his ministrations on Jayden’s opening, this time reaching around to clamp his hand over the one Jayden had wrapped around his cock and aiding him along with rampant strokes coordinated with his tongue. Rick groaned through it, unable to stop his throat emitting appreciative noises as he got Jayden ever closer to his edge. With one last desperate cry, Jayden came, body shaking, spilling himself over their combined hands and on his sheets. Rick didn’t let up, licking and stroking him through his orgasm, drawing out every tremor of pleasure.

As Jayden’s breaths subsided, Rick rose onto his knees and let go of Jayden’s cock to jerk his own. With Jayden’s cum slick on his fingers and still hunched on all fours, arse in the air, wet and dripping from Rick’s exploration, it only took a few tugs and Rick gave a guttural cry, coming over Jayden, painting his back with his seed.

He collapsed onto him, heavy and satisfied.

They lay there for a moment, Rick crushing Jayden into the dirty sheets, breath mingling as they came back down to earth. After a while, Rick couldn’t help it and he chuckled, soft laughter vibrating Jayden’s back. Wonderfully, Jayden chuckled too, amusement muffled by the pillow as he shook along with Rick’s unabashed mirth.

Next door was silent.

Rick hadn’t ever felt so spent. So damn fluttery. And warm.

Jayden craned his neck to catch Rick’s gaze. “Now that was nice.”

“And you are very naughty.”

Perhaps this was the joy of Christmas?

Well, they do say it’s better to give than to receive.