37. Colt

37

COLT

Fire blazed through me, an inferno of pain, fury, and failure. So much of it I could barely draw a full breath. My vision blurred, the hallway going in and out of focus.

But there she was.

Storming toward me like true chaos in human form. And the moment her hand slid into mine, I could breathe again. It shouldn’t have been possible for chaos to be so calming, but it was. She was.

Ridley.

The last woman in the world that should’ve been my comfort in all this. The one who was ripping all the wounds open again. But I was starting to see it was so she could heal the infection that had taken root there—one that had spread. One it felt like she’d gotten to just in time.

A throat cleared behind Ridley, and I forced my gaze away from her face, from her comfort. But she didn’t let go of my hand.

Ryan stood there; the mask she had become so good at wearing had cracks in places, and anger seeped through. If there was one thing she hated, it was men abusing their power. “Let me talk to Tara. I think that’s a conversation that might be easier with me.”

Ryan rarely made a case for using her status as a woman. It wasn’t something she liked to point out, probably because being a woman in law enforcement came with its own sets of challenges. But she was right to use it here.

I nodded quickly. “Okay. You call me the minute you’re done. And I want this prick held until then.”

“On it, Sheriff,” Marshall called, moving to interrogation.

He’d sit with the asshole, give Kerr a call to his lawyer if he asked for it. And he should’ve asked. My stomach roiled as a fresh wave of fury pulsed through me.

Ridley’s grip on my hand tightened as she pitched her voice low. “Let’s go outside and get some air.”

She knew I was a second away from losing it. From tearing every photo and award off the walls and smashing them to pieces. From going into that room and pummeling Kerr because he was a monster. Just not the one I was looking for.

Ridley tugged me toward reception before I could say a word, but I didn’t miss the way Ryan’s gaze dropped to our joined hands, the other officers’ too. I’d have the gossip mill working overtime. Not what I needed, but I didn’t give a damn.

Part of me was aware of the people we passed, the sounds of the station. But it wasn’t until we were outside, the sun streaming down, the fresh scent of the redwoods wrapping around us, that my vision cleared.

Ridley dropped my hand, but it was only so she could press her palms to my cheeks. “Look at me.”

My back teeth gnashed together, but I forced my gaze to hers, to those beautiful, hypnotic blues.

“We’re going to get him,” she vowed.

“I know.” Because I knew both of us were too damned determined for it to be any other way. “But what else are we going to find along the way? How many monsters? I’m not sure I can handle knowing the reality behind the people I’ve been living alongside my entire life.”

Empathy washed across Ridley’s expression. “It’s like rebreaking a bone. Hurts more than the first time, but it’s necessary to get it to heal right. We’re digging them all out. Bringing the monsters out so they can’t hide anymore, can’t hurt anyone anymore.”

And, God, I did want that. Didn’t want there to be a soul in Shady Cove that was trying to do others harm. But I knew that was an impossible task. We’d just have to take what we could and keep doing the work.

My phone let out a series of dings in my back pocket, and Ridley’s hands dropped from my face. I missed their heat, their demanding strength when it felt like my own was faltering. But I wasn’t ready to ask for them back either.

Instead, I pulled out my phone.

Shortcake

Is my brother open to bribery?

An ache took root in my chest. Emerson had no idea what had happened today. How close I'd thought I was. My fingers flew over the screen.

Me

I’m an officer of the law.

Shortcake

I’m taking that as a yes then.

Me

I’m not above arresting you.

Shortcake

Arrest me after you come over here and eat fried chicken, coleslaw, and biscuits. Bring Ridley. Trey’s coming too.

I stared at my phone for a long moment, trying to figure out how the hell I felt about this. And what it meant.

“What is it?” Ridley asked, but she was already tipping my phone down so she could read the screen upside down.

I jerked it out of her grasp, a grin tugging at my mouth. “Nosy much?”

She smiled up at me, and it hit me somewhere in the solar plexus. The kind of pain you got from holding your breath for too long. Her blue eyes twinkled. “I get the best info from being nosy.”

I rubbed at that spot on my chest, trying to clear the sensation. “Em wants us to come over for lunch.”

Ridley’s brows flew up, but the reaction was quickly followed by a wariness that settled over her features. “And you don’t want me to go.”

“No,” I said quickly. “I’m not sure,” I finally admitted.

I didn’t miss the flicker of hurt in Ridley’s expression. It ground the guilt in deeper.

“I’d like to get to know her. Not because of who she is to this case but because of who she is to you,” Ridley said softly.

Fuck. I was the world’s biggest asshole.

I cleared my throat as I shoved my phone into my pocket. “All right.”

“Easy as that?” Ridley challenged.

Nothing about this was easy. But it was the least I could do to try to make things right when I kept fucking up. “Let’s go.”

I inclined my head toward my SUV. I shouldn’t be leaving the station. Not with everything going on. But it wasn’t like there was something I could do other than wait—for Ryan to take Tara’s statement, for Kerr to slip and tell us more messed-up shit he’d done.

All of that would be here in another couple of hours. And seeing Em would help. Would remind me that she was safe, as okay as she could be.

“I’ve got my van here,” Ridley reminded me.

One corner of my mouth kicked up the barest amount. “Hope you parked in an oversized spot so you don’t get a ticket.”

She glared at me. “I will sic Tater on you in the middle of the night.”

I held up both hands in mock surrender. “I solemnly swear not to write you a ticket.”

“Glad to see Tater and I are intimidating enough to keep you in line.”

My lips twitched. “It’s not you. It’s the damn cat. I see murder in her eyes.”

“You love Tater. Don’t deny it.”

I climbed behind the wheel, waiting for Ridley. “Look what she did to me when I tried to give her a treat yesterday.” I held up my finger with a series of puncture wounds for Ridley to examine.

“It’s barely a scratch,” she argued as I pulled out of the station’s parking lot.

“I probably have some disease,” I shot back.

“We could make a pit stop at the doctor,” Ridley offered. “Get you some rabies shots.”

I instantly fisted my hand, hiding the injuries. “Keep your needles away from me.”

She laughed, the sound lightening a little more of the weight that was bearing down on me. Scattering some of the shadows that had made their home in my chest. There was something about Ridley that always did that. Sometimes it was something ridiculous or understanding or fierce. The methods were as all over the place as she was, but they always reached me.

Ridley chattered on about the risks of rabies, telling a story about a friend who had to get the shots after trying to feed a squirrel a peanut on their campus quad. And I let her wash away the worst of the day with her presence alone.

It didn’t take long for us to get to Emerson’s house. Trey’s truck was already parked outside, and I pulled in next to it but didn’t shut off the engine right away. Instead I stared at the yellow house. Em had painted it with my and Trey’s help.

“She doesn’t usually let people inside,” I finally said. “Just Trey and me.”

Ridley didn’t say anything at first, just took in my statement. “I’m good with moving at Emerson’s pace. If it’s too much, I’ll take that cute dog of hers outside to play fetch and admire her incredible flowers.”

I turned to Ridley, feeling things I sure as hell shouldn’t have been, given our agreement. “Thanks, Chaos.”

“Come on,” she urged. “I’m hungry.”

Ridley was out of my SUV before I could say another word. She’d let the events of the day slide off her somehow. Maybe she’d learned that skill by covering so many cases. Living in the pain of the victims and their loved ones, but somehow figuring out how to let it go when she needed to and focus on the good.

I climbed out of my vehicle and met Ridley at the bottom of the steps. But before I could say anything, the door opened, and Emerson was there. I knew her well enough to see the nerves. The way her fingers twisted in a kitchen towel as Bear leaned into her.

Something told me that Ridley saw it too because her smile widened. “Please tell me that massive floof of a dog likes to be cuddled.”

Em chuckled, her grip on the towel loosening a fraction. “He thinks he’s a lapdog.”

Ridley clapped, then hurried up the steps and crouched. “What’s his name?”

“Bear,” Emerson said, giving the dog a pat to tell him he could go to the newcomer.

“Bear,” Ridley said wistfully. “The most perfect name for the bestest boy.”

Bear charged over to her, knocking Ridley to her butt. But she just laughed as she threw her arms around the beast and pressed her face into his neck. “He really does go right for the lap,” Ridley said, her voice muffled by all the fur. She scratched and rubbed, making Bear’s day. “Now don’t think I’m going to sneak you table scraps just because you’re giving me cuddles.”

Emerson grinned. “He’s not going to leave your side now. You’ve got a friend for life.”

Ridley looked up at my sister from her spot, still covered with over one hundred pounds of Bernese mountain dog. “My evil plan works.”

And it had. But none of it was evil. I saw it now, her approach. Making it about Bear so Emerson wouldn’t be overwhelmed by a new person’s focus on her.

“You might not be saying that when he launches into your lap at lunch,” Emerson warned. “I hope you guys are hungry because I made enough to feed an army. Trey’s just setting it all on the back deck. Come on through.”

More of the nerves had slid out of Emerson. Her muscles were looser, her grip on the towel light.

I reached down and pulled Ridley to her feet. It took some doing, since Bear didn’t want to let her go. And I didn’t blame the dog. When Ridley finally stood, she knocked into my chest with an oomph . Her eyes shot to mine, and I couldn’t move, I was frozen to the spot by that hypnotic stare.

Hell, yes, I was feeling things I shouldn’t be. Feeling more. Feeling everything. For a woman who was only temporary, passing through on a mission that could bring my family and me healing. Or leave us in wreckage in her wake.