16. Ridley

16

RIDLEY

I dipped my head beneath the spray, rinsing out my biodegradable conditioner. The run had helped burn out the worst of my anger, but tendrils of it still clung. I’d been hoping the shower and singing my favorite Fleetwood Mac song would help clear the dregs of it, but so far, no luck.

A sound carried above the water and the soft strains of my voice. A throat clearing.

I froze. Crap on a cracker.

There was something about the sound, the deep timbre of it, that had me instantly knowing the owner. And he was just about the last person I wanted to see.

I quickly shut off the water, grabbing my towel and wrapping it around my body. I pulled my rainbow shower curtain back and met the ornery sheriff’s stare. “Here to threaten me again?”

Colt’s cheeks reddened slightly, and he gripped the back of his neck, squeezing as he averted his eyes. “No. I, uh, wanted to…talk.”

In the handful of run-ins I’d had with the sheriff, he’d never once seemed uncertain. Brash and asshole-ish, sure, but tentative? Never.

“So talk,” I said, gripping my towel tighter.

Colt’s gaze moved back to me, roaming over my face and trailing down my neck to hitch on the spot where my fingers latched onto terry cloth. Those deep-brown eyes darkened, but not with malice. There was shadowy heat fueling them now.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

My nipples pebbled, pressing against the rough fabric. My body was an idiot. This man had been a dick of epic proportions. Rude and cruel. A grumpy-assed prick. My nipples should not be reacting to him. It was a betrayal of the highest order.

Colt’s gaze dipped lower, tracking over my bare legs. I fought the urge to clench my thighs. Damn them too.

It was my turn to clear my throat. “Give me a second to get changed, since you obviously have a problem with nudity.”

Colt choked on a laugh as I stalked past him. I hauled open the van door and then quickly shut it behind me, greeted by Tater’s meows. It was as if she had a full opinion on Colter Brooks.

“Trust me, I know,” I said as I pulled on joggers and a workout top. On second thought, I hauled a T-shirt over the bra top. My nipples couldn’t be trusted around that man.

Wringing out my hair with the towel, I piled it into a messy bun. Tater let out another deafening meow, and I sent her a stern look. “You don’t have to yell at me. You could just ask nicely.”

As if she could completely understand me, Tater let out a softer sound. I picked her up and cradled her against my chest. I reached out to the van’s door handle but stilled. “Now or never, right?”

Sucking in a breath, I slid the door open. When I did, it was to find Colt facing away from me. He stared down at the water below, his hands shoved into his pockets and broad shoulders on display.

I was a sucker for broad shoulders. They made me weak. But before my nipples could react, I noticed something else about those shoulders. Something different than the times I’d made a study of them before. Previously, they’d had a tension running through them. Something that wound the muscles tight, as if Colt were always poised to defend a strike.

Now, they had a slight tilt to them. Almost as if the muscles were defeated in some way. It didn’t fit the man. Everything about it seemed all sorts of wrong.

As I walked toward Colt, he turned, taking me in. His gaze roamed over me again, stilling in several spots: my bun, my tee, the cat in my arms.

“What happened to his leg?” he asked.

“Her leg,” I corrected. “It was injured during birth and had to be amputated. The owner didn’t want to cover the cost of surgery or deal with a three-legged cat.”

Colt’s mouth pulled down in a frown. “People are the worst.”

“Sometimes,” I admitted, scratching behind Tater’s ears. “But they can also be the best.”

He stared at me in question.

“The volunteers at the shelter took good care of her. A rescue organization took her in and covered the cost of her surgery.”

“And you. You gave her a home,” Colt said softly.

God, I'd thought his rasp had my body doing stupid things. But the rasp had nothing on Colt’s soft tenderness. I swallowed hard, as if that would clear away the buzz of attraction humming beneath my skin.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

He reached out, scratching underneath Tater’s chin. “You landed on your feet, huh? Three of them anyway.”

Tater purred for a moment and then bit into Colt’s hand.

“Shit. Ow.” He snatched his hand back, glaring at my cat.

“Don’t be a baby,” I said, grinning. “It’s just one of her tooth hugs.”

Colt stared at me, jaw going slack. “Tooth…hugs?”

I nodded. “It’s how she shows affection.”

“That seems unhealthy to me.”

My lips twitched as I fought to hold my laughter in check. I lifted my gaze to Colt’s face. Dark shadows rimmed his eyes, and I hated the part of myself that wanted to know what had caused them. Colt didn’t deserve my concern, and he sure as hell didn’t want it. “What did you want, Law Man?”

He took a step back, those dark eyes swimming with something unreadable. “Your sister went missing.”

My body stiffened, the only reaction in the past fifteen minutes that made any sense. “You know, bartenders are supposed to be like priests or shrinks or something. There’s a confidentiality that's supposed to be sacrosanct.”

“Don’t be pissed at Trey. He was trying to stop me from being such an asshole.”

One corner of my mouth tugged up. “An asshole, huh?”

Colt kicked at a rock, sending it flying. “I was trying to look out for Emerson.”

I made a sound in the back of my throat.

“Okay, I was looking out for myself too. I hate going back there. Remembering what it stole from her.”

“And what it stole from you,” I added. Because it had stolen from Colt. It had changed him. There was no way it couldn’t have.

Colt’s gaze lifted to mine. “And you know what that’s like.”

“I do. Your whole view of the world shifts, like the twist of a kaleidoscope. You can’t look at things the same way because you aren’t the same person.”

Colt was quiet for a long moment, but he didn’t look away. It was as if he was trying to read beneath my words. “Not sure I realized just how much it changed me.”

An ache settled in my chest. Because the moment you woke up and realized that you’d changed was the same one when you realized nothing would ever be the same. “It’s your choice how it changes you.”

Those dark brows pulled together. “Not sure that’s true.”

“It is,” I challenged. “I won’t say it’s easy. I battle it every single day. Gratitude is a choice. Just like looking for the sun.”

“Looking for the sun…” he parroted.

I shrugged, letting my fingers sift through Tater’s fur. “Sometimes it’s finding those actual rays. Just looking up, closing my eyes, and remembering it’s still there. Every day it rises. Sometimes it’s looking for those glimmers of light elsewhere. The amazing hazelnut latte I got from Ezra. The kindness Trey showed to me when I needed it. The run that reminded me I’m still here and breathing. Those glimmers are all around us; you just have to open your eyes and truly see.”

A muscle along Colt’s jaw fluttered. “Think I’ve been looking for the opposite lately. The shadows. Feels like it’s all I see.”

“Time to rewire your brain. Challenge yourself to see the good. Pick three things every day and see what happens.”

One corner of his mouth kicked up. “You some sort of new-age life coach?”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. “I bet I could get you and Celia on a meditation retreat.”

“Dear God, please no. I know I’ve been a dick, but do I honestly deserve that?”

I arched a brow.

“Okay, I do.” Colt sighed, scrubbing a hand over his jaw. “I’m sorry. I said things I had no right to.” He paused, seeming to struggle for the next words. “I shouldn’t have questioned your motives.”

My lips twitched. “Ouch. That seemed painful to get out.”

He glared at me. “It was.”

“Thank you,” I whispered. “I appreciate it.” I searched for a way to say what I needed to without causing Colt more pain. “I can’t stop looking into this case.”

His jaw hardened again. “Had a feeling you’d say that.”

“I’ve linked other cases to Emerson’s. Similar victim profiles. I need to find out if I’m right. Because if I am, this monster isn’t just kidnapping. He’s killing.” I wasn’t ready to give Colt the Avery piece. Because I hadn’t given it to anyone. Not a single soul other than the filing cabinet in my van.

Colt’s throat worked as he swallowed. “Okay. Just—leave Emerson out of it. She’s been through too much. Won’t leave the house now because the fear and anxiety are too much. She won’t even go outside unless Trey or I are there.”

Pain washed through me for a young life cut short. Emerson might still be breathing but she wasn’t truly living. At least not as fully as she should’ve been able to.

“I’m so sorry. For her and for you. I know that has to be hard to watch, and to want to help but not know how.”

Colt dragged a hand through his hair, leaving it mussed. “I’ve tried everything I can think of, but nothing seems to help.”

“Therapy?” I asked.

He nodded. “Saw a therapist for years, and it did nothing. Even tried a few experts online, but it didn’t make a difference. Either that or she just wasn’t ready.”

“Maybe if we can find this monster, the real healing can start. She won’t be afraid because he’ll be behind bars.”

“You don’t think I’ve tried? I worked that case for years. Still pull it out every single year and go through all the evidence two or three times over, talk to witnesses. It’s like whoever did this just disappeared.” Colt gripped the back of his neck, squeezing hard. “And maybe they did. Maybe it was a random person passing through town. Crime of opportunity.”

“Maybe,” I said, trying to ease a little of Colt’s pain.

“You don’t think that,” he pressed.

“No, I don’t.” If I was right about the link between victims, that couldn’t be true. The unsub would’ve had to watch the girls. Research them. Be close enough to know they were just what he was looking for.

Shadows swirled in Colt’s eyes. “Just be careful. If this is what you think it is, whoever’s doing this isn’t going to be happy with you going digging.”

And more than that, I knew that I fit at least a piece of the monster’s victim profile. How could I not? I was Avery’s mirror image.