Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Vennkor

" W here are the engines?" Nina dumps an armful of green cloth onto the ground and turns in a circle, making another study of the gloomy cargo bay.

"Outside." I suggest. "On the wings?" Most Freighters this size have maintenance hatches from which the engines can be reached mid-flight, but I have yet to see any here. Seemingly, the Hov have such confidence in their ability to adequately maintain their fleet that they have neglected to install internal access. Or, more probably (considering they have the largest fleet in the known universe) they took shortcuts in their ship design to save themselves ‘unnecessary' expenses.

"So there's fuck-all we can do. Fan-bloody-tastic."

"I— Maybe." I do not want to agree, so I begin a more thorough search, in case there is another maintenance hatch we have not yet seen.

The longest of the two walls curves slightly, mimicking the aerodynamic shape of the Freighter, and I walk from one end of the ship to the other, my hand on the wall as a guide in the shadowy gloom. Down here, at least, the ceiling is high enough for me to stand straight. Reaching the tail end and finding nothing of significance, I turn and begin making my way back, following the other wall.

Ahead, Nina and Reke are sorting through the contents of another polyplastic crate, hunting for anything that might be useful.

" … important. How am I suppose … " comes Nina's broken whisper to Reke, their heads bent together.

As I near, they do not look around at me, too focused on their conversation. No doubt I should leave well enough alone, but I find myself straining to hear. Not that I believe they are speaking about me. Except for the small part of me that is continually confused by Reke's willingness to share Nina. That small part of me thinks mayhaps they are indeed discussing me.

"I cannot make such a promise," Reke says in a voice that is barely soft enough to be called a whisper, as if he has had little practice sharing secrets. "And you cannot make me."

"Please, Reke." Nina straightens, abandoning all pretense she is focused on the crate, instead holding onto Reke's shoulders. Even with the low lighting, I can see the indentations of her fingers in his wiry muscles, her skin startlingly pale against his nearly black coloring.

" … be much happily … weren't going to do anything risky. The Hov are hardly going to care about what happens to me … but when?—"

"If!" Reke interrupts loudly, and Nina waves a hand at him to lower his voice. She glances around, looking for me, but I am shielded by shadows.

"Fine!" she concedes in a huff, right as I draw level with them. "If. If the Hov recapture you, and if kill me and Venn, promise me you'll look after yourself. Don't go big in the revenge department just because you're angry … "

I speed up, passing them and continuing to the other end of the cargo bay, my heart hammering an unsteady beat. Of course the Hov will not want to recapture Nina and me. Of course they are coming for Reke and Reke alone. Nina— The thought shrivels up before I have finished thinking it because in no world can Nina die. In no world can we let anything bad happen to her.

I clench my jaw, keeping my expression neutral, hiding myself from the overhead cameras. It is just like Nina to be planning for what might come and thinking of everyone else's wellbeing. She is a healer, something the Hov have never valued and always underestimated.

Nina, I know I would do anything and everything for. I would gift her the entire universe, if that was possible.

Reke— Akh . Reke is complicated. But the three of us could have been a family, in another life. In another world, where the Hov do not exist.

"Venn?" A small hand touches my back, and I look down to see Nina watching me with her large, expressive eyes. I can see her soul in those blue eyes.

"Yes, my paired partner?" I use the name that, for the last two Common years, I never thought I would have the privilege of speaking.

"I … " She blinks, her cheeks flushing a deep, endearing pink. "Paired partner. Is that like a Mate? Because two gladiators back in the women's dorm told me that when Ves'os have sex, that means they're claiming their partner as their Mate. And, well, I didn't know if you believe that." She shrugs. "Maybe they were lying to me."

I bow my head to more closely examine her expression. She is not quite meeting my gaze. Is she nervous? Her scent suggests that is the case—ever-so-slightly bitter.

Despite being taught since I was a youngling to believe that any visible emotions besides anger and determination are a weakness, I flinch away from calling Nina's numerous and unguarded feelings weaknesses. They are so much a part of who she is, and Nina is anything but weak.

"It is true," I confirm. "On Ves, the Elders choose all pairings, and when two Ves'os have been promised to each other, there is a grand party, after which they lie together, sealing their forever-union as Paired Partners. But I think it is not like this, where you are from." I know traditions vary from planet to planet, but in most instances, Mates are chosen by elders to optimize compatibility, both psychologically and physically.

"It's not, at least not in Australia." She presses our clasped hands to her chest. "Where I'm from, we all choose our own partners. It's usually quite an involved process. Lots of times we sleep together— I mean, lots of times we have sex with someone, or with lots of people, before we pick our Mate. And some people never pick a Mate. It isn't mandatory." She gives her head a little shake. "What I'm trying to say is that I don't believe I'm your Mate, your Paired Partner, just because we had sex."

"You do not want—" But she presses her free hand to my mouth, dissuading me from finishing my question.

"I don't think that people having sex means they have to spend the rest of their lives together. If that were the case, then I'd be mated to some guy I met one time behind a shed in a graveyard when I was going through my dramatic goth era." She replaces her hand on my lips with her own lips, kissing me. "I pick you as my Mate, Vennkor, for much more important reasons than just sex. I pick you because I'm in love with you. Because I know how wonderful you are. How kind and caring and gentle. How brave and resilient you are. Because you make me feel happy even when we are, arguably, in one of the most horrific situations imaginable. Well … " she adds with a faint smile, "maybe a little bit because of the sex. It's really good sex."

"Nina—" My voice breaks.

"We'll think of something." She wipes my cheek with the soft pad of her thumb. I had not even realized I was crying.

"We cannot reach the engines," I say. "So we cannot reclaim control of the spaceship. We are drifting through space, waiting for the Hov arrive."

"Yes," she agrees. "But they haven't arrived yet, and I haven't given up all hope. And I want you to know that everything that's happened, all of this, is worth it because I got to meet you and Reke. Oomph!" She grunts as I pull her into my arms, crushing her against my chest. I stand to my full height, lifting Nina off her feet. And then she is wrapping herself around me and kissing any part of me she can reach—my cheeks, my nose, my chin, my throat.

I capture her mouth, relishing the taste and smell and feel that is my Paired Partner. My Paired Partner. My Mate. My everything.

"You are kissing again," Reke announces loud enough that his voice echoes around the cargo bay.

Nina glances over her shoulder at him, and I moan my protest at her breaking our kiss.

"They are doing what again?" Ney sticks her head through the hatch in the ceiling and looks around. "So is there engine access?"

"No," I answer.

She looks at me, and catching sight of Nina's legs wrapped around my waist, withdraws with a litany of disgusted muttering.

"I like kissing," Nina says, climbing down.

"I do not." Reke is balanced on another crate, making him tall enough to reach the ceiling. He has his hand pressed over what I presume is a camera, protecting Nina—and me.

Nina shrugs. "Doesn't matter. You and I have other things we like to do together." Glancing up at me, she slips her hand back into mine, entwining our fingers. "You understand that?—"

"That you have two Paired Partners?" I interrupt. "It is a situation Ves'os do not usually find themselves in?—"

"Or Humans." It is Nina's turn to interrupt.

"But I understand."

"And we're good?"

I watch her closely, trying to imagine our lives without Reke, but I cannot. He was there the first time I spoke with Nina. He was there the first time Nina and I rutted. And he has never been far from my thoughts these last two Common years, even long before Nina was brought to the Arena. "If your question means am I satisfied with such an arrangement, my answer is yes."

"I'm glad. Come on." Smiling, she tugs my hand, pulling me forward. "I've got an idea."

Using the largest of the green cloths, she drapes it over a few crates, and then climbs underneath, sitting in the empty space at the center. "It's a tent." She sounds pleased with herself, and Reke does not hesitate to follow, crouching low to the ground and nimble on his feet. I watch as the tip of his tail disappears under the cloth, and I lower myself less than gracefully to my hands and knees. My bad shoulder aches, and I am acutely aware of how much larger than Nina and Reke I am. My horns tangle on the cloth, pulling it down onto me and exposing Nina and Reke to the cameras.

Nina laughs. Resettling everything to her satisfaction, she uses piles of costumes to weigh the cloth's edges, and the three of us settle underneath. Nina and Reke have their legs crossed and must press so close together there is no space between them for me to fit.

"It's cozy." Nina touches my furrowed brow as if she can wipe away my discomfort, and immediately some of the tension eases from my shoulder. I hold my arms out and she climbs onto my knee, making a little more space for my legs, which will not cross as Reke's do, and so I must stretch them out before me.

"What are we doing?" Reke asks.

"We're taking a moment to ourselves to think." Nina strokes his ears.

"We are hiding from our problems."

"No." Her laugh is strained but beautiful. "I told you we're thinking. We're planning. We're preparing our next great escape of how to get off this spaceship before the Hov arrive."

"We are hiding." Reke leans forward to press his cheek to Nina's and, in doing so, presses his other cheek against my shoulder. For a moment, I think the touch was accidental, until I feel his tail snaking around my waist as if he is trying to wrap the two of us in an embrace. We sit like that, in complete silence, waiting. Always waiting for the Hov.