CHAPTER 78 - Molly

CHAPTER 78MollySeptember

FALL IS IN THE AIR. THE FIRST CRISP DAYS ARE UPON US. SADIE AND I sit on the back porch. She pants at my side, while I snuggle under a quilt and sip tea out of one of the old cups from Grandpa Wright’s house, one of the few things my parents didn’t throw away.I started seeing Dr. Blanton in February, with low expectations. My first impression of her wasn’t good. Young, sleek blond ponytail, perfect makeup, and a designer dress with matching stilettos, a two-carat diamond on her left ring finger. My first thought was this pampered princess can’t help me. I should’ve known better than to judge people.All my previous therapists had declined to tell me anything about themselves, saying that their experiences were irrelevant. That always made me suspicious. How could they empathize with me? But Dr. Blanton had no such reticence. She told me that she’d grown up in Philadelphia in a poor rundown neighborhood. Her mother was a junkie, and she had no idea who her father was. When she was eleven years old, walking home from school, she was gang-raped by some local thugs. After that, her mother gave up her parental rights, just gave her away. She ended up in foster care, where she aged out without being adopted. Her mother had died, and Dr. Blanton applied for scholarships and put herself through college. She swore to live a better life than her mother had. There’s nothing so horrible that you can’t pull yourself past it, she said. Survive and flourish, that’s her mantra. I believe her, and our sessions have been going well.I’ve kept my job at the bookstore. Hayes and Alice have been wonderful, Kim too. Her baby, a boy, was born at the end of June, full term. Kim and Josh are working on their marriage, and he was there to support her through her delivery. Elise and Scott have also made a point of checking on me without seeming to.And of course, Corrine.I sold the mountain house. I thought it would be difficult with what had happened there, but I received an offer right away. I have enough in the bank, along with Jay’s life insurance, so that I can keep our house and not worry about paying the bills.I stand and lean my hands on the porch railing, inhale the autumn air. In the spring, where the garage used to stand, my new flower garden will be ripe with pink peonies, my favorite. I have a lot to look forward to. I think about Jay every day, and that gives me strength. I place my hand on my growing belly and smile. His daughter will be born in January. That will help me through the anniversary of his death. In March, the fertility clinic called me and asked if I wanted to go through another IVF cycle. We had two embryos left. I never hesitated. There are no guarantees in this life, but that’s no reason not to try. After a positive pregnancy test, Corrine held my hand at the ultrasound. Sadly, one embryo didn’t implant, but one did, one little girl held on, and sometimes that’s all it takes.