CHAPTER 59 - Molly

CHAPTER 59MollySATURDAY AFTERNOON, WILLOW AND TWO OF HER OLDER COUSINS greet me at the door. I don’t want to be here. It’s difficult to look into my friend’s eyes, knowing what I know about her husband. Not to mention that everyone at the party, thanks to the media, knows who I am now. Knows Melinda Wright.The girls are all smiles; the oldest, a middle schooler with long brown hair, offers to place my present on the table. I reluctantly give it up, feeling more exposed without the brightly wrapped box to hide behind. And I’d left Sadie at home since Willow is allergic, and that makes me feel exposed as well. Willow slips her small, sweaty hand into mine and peers up at me with Kim’s large brown eyes. It’s as if she knows my fears, as though we’re kindred souls; maybe we are. Her short life has been marked by challenges, and crowds are tough for her too, even if they are friends and relatives. I take a deep breath. If she can be brave, I can too.The family room is alive with laughter and movement. Kim’s parents sit side by side on the sofa. I haven’t seen them since Jay’s funeral. So much has happened since then. Kim’s dad relates a story with arms waving, his audience captive. They’re a happy family. Growing up, I spent a lot of time at their house and always felt envious. The solid ordinariness of them. Strong, supportive, joking. There were no skeletons in their many closets. No therapy appointments noted on the kitchen calendar, no walking on eggshells while talking around the dinner table. They were the family I’d always wanted us to be.Josh is rushing drinks to and from the kitchen. Kim jumps up from her chair and moves to my side. She looks beautiful, her long dark hair falling in waves over her shoulders, her eyes shining. She’s totally oblivious to her husband’s treachery, and I feel guilt throb in my stomach as she squeezes me in her arms and whispers in my ear.“I’m so glad you’re here.” She takes me by the hand. “Let’s get you a glass of wine.”I wave and nod to everyone as we head for the other room.Cal and Hayes are sitting at the kitchen table drinking beer. They both look at me with unsure smiles, not knowing what to do or say, I guess, but I’m not going to talk about Melinda Wright. Not here, not now.The wine is perfect, tangy and rich. I take another sip. “I need to run to the restroom.” I say, taking my glass with me. I walk down the hallway to the powder room and run into Josh.He pastes a smile on his face. “Glad you’re here, Molly.”I bet.I noticed that Laken and her boys weren’t among the throng in the family room. “Where’s Laken?” I can’t resist asking.Josh frowns, lowers his voice. “Cal said she took the boys and went to her parents’ house on the Cape for the weekend.”I raise my eyebrows. “Huh, well, I guess that makes today a little easier for you.”Josh clears his throat. “I promise, okay? Let’s just enjoy Kim’s party.” He brushes past me, nearly spilling my wine. I take another big sip.When I leave the powder room, Hayes is waiting just outside. “Hey,” I say. “Where’s Alice?”“Um, upstairs with some of the kids.” He places a hand on my arm. “I’m so sorry, Molly. I wish you’d told me. Maybe I could’ve helped.”People are naïve, and I shake my head. “No, you couldn’t have, Hayes. It’s my business, and I didn’t want anyone to know, you understand?”I see the hurt in his eyes and know I’m being an ass, but I can’t help it. The only thing I wanted from Graybridge, from my friends, was anonymity. I didn’t want to be defined by my victimhood. Now that’s over. I never wanted to be seen through that lens, yet I can’t seem to escape it. Confronting my abuser helped in some primal way, made me feel stronger, more in control, but now I’m faced with the other part of the equation, moving forward, facing my friends, and I’m not sure yet how to do that.He drops his hand. “I care about you, Molly. I’m here like always.”I take a breath and nod. “Thanks, Hayes. I don’t mean to be rude. Maybe we’ll talk about it someday. But right now, I’m just trying to figure things out.” I walk back down the hall and join the group in the family room. No time like the present to put on a brave face. I listen to Kim’s dad relate another story and laugh with the rest. I drain my wineglass and head to the kitchen for a refill.Cal is standing before the open fridge, selecting another beer. He sees me out of the corner of his eye. “Hey, you want more wine?” He closes the door and picks up the bottle from the counter.“Sure.” I hold out my glass, and he fills it nearly to the rim.Scott walks in. “Got another beer in there?” he asks Cal, who hands him a colorful can. Elise appears behind him, a gold and silver gift bag in her hands. They must’ve just gotten here. She lays the present on the table. “Molly, glad you’re here. Corrine said you’d gone out of town for a couple days.”“Yes. I had to get away.” Her eyes run over me, assessing. “It was just what I needed,” I add.“That’s good. Rest is vital.”“How’s the case coming along?” Scott asks. “The cops find anything new?”I shake my head. “Not that they’ve told me.”“They talked to all of us. Did you know that?” Cal says, eyes narrowing. He leans against the counter.“About what?”“Last summer. The night of the Fourth when that woman was killed.”“Huh.”Scott sips his beer. “You still need that window replaced?”“Yes. At some point. I’ll let you know.”Kim walks in, with Willow behind her. “Juice, Mommy,” Willow says.“Yes, sweetie. I’ll get it.” While Kim pours Willow’s drink, Josh comes in.“Time for cake?” he asks, his eyes glancing at the clock. Kim nods and starts getting out the plates and flatware.It all seems reminiscent of Jay’s party, and it’s hard to believe that was only a few weeks ago. So much has changed.Josh carries the cake into the dining room, and we all gather around and sing. Kim bends over, eyes shining, and blows out the candles. I wonder if she made a wish. I would have.The afternoon bleeds into evening, and I’ve had a little too much wine while dodging everyone who tried to maneuver me into an uncomfortable conversation.I give Kim a hug. “I have to get going. I need to walk Sadie.”She whispers, “Call me any time if you need to talk.”“I will.” I scurry outside and take a deep breath, hoping the cold air sobers me up. I’m glad to be out of there and on my way back to my house and my dog.* * *Sadie and I hurry down the sidewalk. It’s dark, and I don’t want to be out here too long. At least the media hasn’t realized I’m back yet, but that will probably change. Corrine said they were camped in front of her building for a couple days after I left, until they figured out that I wasn’t there or at least wasn’t coming out. The traffic is light. It’s dinnertime, and most people are home or out at a restaurant. We approach the gas station, and I stand still for a couple of minutes. Maybe I ought to go in and pick up some snacks for the night. My pantry is just about bare. Two young men exit the building and glance in my direction. They’re muffled up in coats and gloves, hats pulled low. They light cigarettes, smoke tendrils wafting into the night, and jump into a pickup truck.I hesitate a moment longer, then Sadie and I go inside the store. It’s warm and a little busy. I wend my way to the snack aisle and select a bag of Oreos and a couple of giant-size Milky Way bars. Might as well go whole hog while I’m at it. I pay for my treats, and Sadie and I head outside.I hear a woman shriek behind me, and I freeze, but she’s laughing, I realize. Sadie and I start back down the sidewalk, away from the lights of the gas station. There’s an alley, then a vacant commercial building, before the houses start up.It’s full dark, and there are places between the streetlights, lengths of sidewalk completely in the shadow. I hurry Sadie along when I hear footsteps behind me. I pick up the pace, but the person behind me matches my stride. My heart drums loudly, and I walk more quickly. He’s too close. I hear his heavy breath. Then a strong arm circles my waist and a gloved hand crushes my mouth. I try to scream, but my breath is trapped, my heart racing. Is he my caller or someone else? I drop Sadie’s leash and struggle to pull away. I kick, but his grip only tightens, and he’s pulling me into the alley.No, no, no!I won’t let anyone hurt me. Not again. I make a sound like a rabid animal and reach back and tear at the man’s face, but my gloves shield my fingernails. He rips my jacket away, and I take a step to run, but then I feel a sharp jab in my arm. Cold waves surge through my veins, and I know I’m sinking. I stagger a step or two, but he pulls me close against his chest. I slip through his grasp and tumble face-first to the ground, unable to right myself, unable to move. I taste dirt. Just like before.