CHAPTER 28 - Molly

CHAPTER 28MollyELISE DROPPED ME AND SADIE OFF AT HOME ON HER WAY TO WORK. The house is still, quiet. I flip through my security screens and then carry my laptop up to the master bathroom and set it on the sink while I shower and dress for the day.The bookstore isn’t busy on a Tuesday morning, and I settle in on the second floor with Sadie. I shelve books while she snores between the stacks. Childish laughter and women’s voices trickle through to where I work behind a wall of books. Sounds like a couple of moms with their preschool-age kids. I sigh. To be one of them, a mom with a child to take care of. Jay home in the evening at the end of a workday. Dinner as a family. First steps and bedtime stories. I take a deep breath and reach for the next book to be shelved.Eventually, the women and their children leave, off to the next stop, I guess. And the floor becomes lonely and still. I work steadily, and the morning passes quietly. I try to keep my mind off Jay, and off my caller. I play a game where I decide which book on any given shelf is my favorite.When my parents moved us to Graybridge, I’d beg Corrine to bring me here. She was sixteen in a new town, missing her friends back home. The first few months, she was lonely and didn’t mind hanging out with me. We’d both sit and read, then head to the candy shop across the square. The candy shop is long gone, replaced by a skateboard store.When school started in the fall, Corrine’s life picked up where it had left off. She made friends easily and grew to be grateful for the move, and Graybridge became home. I found Kim that year too. The harder I tried to disappear in the back row in our classroom, the more interested in me Kim became. She made it her mission to befriend the new girl—the strange, quiet new girl. She was outgoing and popular, even in second grade. The other kids, who might have found something in my oddness to make fun of, didn’t dare with Kim at my side. And she never asked any questions, still hasn’t all these years later. Whether she ever figured out who I was, I don’t really know. But as long as no one brings it to light and makes it real again, I’m okay.At lunchtime, I head across the square to Laken’s spa. Alice asked if Sadie could stay with her in the office while she did homework, so I reluctantly left her behind.Serene Lake Spa takes up two storefronts, and inside it’s like another world. The walls are painted off-white, with soft blue and green accents. The sound of gentle waves fills the dimly lit waiting room. The scent of lavender and citrus hangs in the air. Ferns and smooth stones cover the counter where the receptionist is checking in two middle-aged ladies, and I wave to her as I head to Laken’s office.I tap on her closed door, and it takes her a few minutes to answer, flipping the lock.“Molly! Hey.”“Do you want to grab some lunch?”She clears her throat and peers over her shoulder. “Yeah. That would be great. I was just finishing up some paperwork.” She’s acting oddly but swings the door open, and I see Josh sitting on a sofa near the window.“Hey, Molly,” he says cheerfully. “I was just taking a break myself and stopped to see if Laken wanted to head over to André’s.”Laken runs her fingers through her disheveled hair. Two of her blouse buttons are undone, the lacy top of her bra showing. I feel as though I’ve walked into an improv skit. “Oh, sorry. Well, if you two had plans,” I say like an idiot.Josh jumps to his feet and tucks his shirt in his pants. “No. No. You guys go. I’ll catch up with you another time,” he says to Laken and practically runs out the door.Laken and I walk across the square. I don’t know what to say to her as she rambles on about business and her boys until we reach the café. We put in our orders at the counter, take a metal stand with a number attached at the top, and set it on our table.“Josh wanted to book a massage,” she says. “Things have been pretty rough for him at work.”Laken’s a terrible liar, and I’ve lost my appetite. How could they do this to Kim and Cal? And why now, when we’re all torn up over Jay? Jesus. What am I supposed to do about this? Then I hear Jay’s voice in my head. Not your problem, Molly. Not yours to fix. Which is funny because all Jay ever did professionally or otherwise was try to fix people.But it’s going to be damn hard not to get involved. I can’t keep this from Kim, my oldest friend. Laken came along later. Losing Laken’s friendship, while it would sting, wouldn’t be devastating. And Josh. Well, he was never my favorite person, but as Kim was over the moon about him, I tried. The fact that he asked Kim to marry him, after dating for just six months, surprised me and Jay at the time, but she seemed happy.I listen as Laken prattles on about the spa and her twins and everything except Josh. I run my spoon through my soup, like I did when I was little, and leave as soon as I can without it seeming as though I’m running away from her, which I am. I need to get back to the bookstore and on even ground again.* * *Sadie and I wander the house in the encroaching evening darkness. I call Corrine since I haven’t spoken to her in a few days, but my call goes to voicemail. Then I remember she has some apartment board meeting tonight, so I sit in the kitchen with a bowl of melting ice cream and my laptop, watching the video feeds from the outside cameras. The doorbell rings, and I switch to the front porch camera. A man stands there, hands jammed into the pockets of his jacket, moving from foot to foot. My heartbeat kicks up, and then I recognize Josh.Sadie and I go to the door.“Can I come in?” His frosted breath wafts toward the porch light.I swing the door open, and he hurries into the foyer.“What can I do for you, Josh?”“I just want to talk.” His gaze meets mine for a fraction of a second, then drops to the floor. I don’t particularly want to talk to him, but it’s a situation that has my stomach in knots, so I lead him down the hall to the kitchen.We sit at the table, and I finish my ice cream but don’t offer him anything.“I want to explain,” he says, running his hand through his sandy hair.“Okay.”“I know you probably figured out about me and Laken.” I start to respond, but he puts up a palm to stop me. “Please, just listen for a minute before you say anything.”“Fine. Explain.”He draws a deep breath. “Laken and I’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. I know it’s wrong. I never meant for it to happen—”“Nobody ever does.”“Things have been pretty rough for her.”I arch my eyebrows.“I know you’re going through hell right now. I don’t want to burden you with this. The rest of our problems don’t seem like such a big deal next to yours.”“It’s not a contest.”He looks away, wipes his mouth with his hand. “I wish Jay was here.”I get up and walk to the sink, rinse my bowl, and gather my wits. He wishes Jay was here.“Sorry. That was insensitive.”“Did Jay know?” I turn to face him, lean against the counter.“Yeah.” He hangs his head. “Jay knew.”This sends a dart of pain through my chest. Why didn’t Jay tell me? “How long did he know, Josh?”“I told him a couple of weeks before Christmas. He, Cal, and I met at the pub for drinks. But Cal left early.”“How could you guys do this?”He rubs his hands over his eyes. “Something’s been bothering Cal for a while, and he’s been taking it out primarily on Laken. You didn’t notice?”“No. I guess I missed all the drama.”Josh waves his hand in the air. “Doesn’t matter. Anyway, we were talking and drinking at the pub, and Cal just up and leaves. Said he needed to get home. Jay and I kept drinking and talking. That’s when I told him about me and Laken.”“What did he say?”“He wasn’t happy about it. Read me the riot act. Then he told me I should tell Kim and we should go to marriage counseling.”That sounds like Jay.“Look, Molly. Laken’s been upset, and I’ve been having trouble at work. Cal never misses an opportunity to remind me that he’s my boss, that I’m not living up to the standards of the company and I’m lucky to still have a job.”“So you got even with him?”Josh shakes his head. “No.”“Did you take Jay’s advice? Did you tell Kim?” I’m thinking no. She would’ve told me.“I’m going to. Soon. I just need to find a way to break it to Laken. She’s having a rough time.” He draws a deep breath. “Jay kept pressuring me, and that didn’t help.” His eyes flash with anger. He looks like a drowning man who’s realized that there’s no help in sight.“Uh huh. What about Kim? How could you do this to her?” Tears start to bubble up for my friend, and I feel Jay’s absence in a million different ways. He’d be able to sort this out.Josh drops his head in his hands. “I’m an asshole, Molly. I fully get that. I never wanted to hurt Kim. She and Willow mean everything to me.”“Then why haven’t you tried to fix this?”“I was ready to. I really was. I got my courage up, even knowing that my wife would be devastated and I’d lose my job. Then Jay died, and I lost my nerve.”I wipe a tear from my cheek and fold my arms. “Well, Jay is dead and buried. Time to move on, eh?” My voice is brittle. I have no sympathy for this sorry man.He glances up at me and shakes his head. “It’ll crush Kim.”“Yeah. You should’ve thought of that.”He’s crying now and wipes his eyes with his palms, takes a deep breath. “She’s pregnant,” he whispers.I catch the side of the counter to keep myself from tumbling to the floor. Sadie walks over and nudges me with her nose.“Kim? Kim’s pregnant?”He nods. “She didn’t want to tell you right away. She was hoping you’d have good news too. You’d be pregnant together.”I glance at the ceiling and let my gaze linger there. What a lovely dream that would’ve been.“Look. I’m so sorry, Molly. I’ve royally screwed up, and I know that you and Kim are really close.” He jumps up from the table and moves to put his arm around my shoulders, but I step away. “You won’t tell her, will you?” He grabs my arm. “I’ll make it right, okay? I’ll make it right. It’s just . . . you remember when Willow was born seven weeks early? What if Kim delivers the new baby early? Or what if the stress causes her to lose the baby altogether? I’d never forgive myself.”God, what a mess.His fingers are digging into my flesh, hurting.“I’ll tell her. I promise. But I need time.”“Whatever, Josh. Just break it off with Laken. You can at least do that for now.”His bloodshot eyes meet mine. “Yeah. Right. It’s the right thing to do.”Oh, how I despise this man. The fact that he and Jay were friends is beyond me. But then, Jay liked everybody, saw the best in everyone. “I’m tired, Josh. You should be on your way.”I walk down the hall, Josh tagging behind me, and open the door to the dark night.