35. Tish

Chapter Thirty-Five

Tish

"I'll have…" I paused, lightly tapping my fingertips on the edge of the counter as I scanned the chalkboard behind the counter at Firehouse Café. "A mocha."

"Do you want anything to eat?" Janet asked as she began prepping my coffee.

"I'll take a cranberry orange muffin."

Janet deftly adjusted the knobs on the espresso machine with one hand while reaching for a muffin with the other and putting it in the toaster. Just then, I heard Hallie's voice behind me.

"Hey, hey!" She stopped at my side, curling an arm around my shoulder and giving me a quick squeeze. "How are you?" She had a sly twinkle in her eyes.

"I'm pretty good. How are you?"

Despite the earthquake Paul's phone call had set loose inside of me, Griffin and I had a few good nights together and I felt more settled. I told myself denial was a perfectly acceptable coping skill when under stress. It also helped that Colin told me he would handle it and I trusted him. As much as I liked to manage things, in this case, I was simply handing over the entire problem to him and hoping for the best because I didn't know what else to do.

"I'm fine. How are things with Griffin?" she asked as her arm slid away from my shoulders and she waggled her brows.

I felt the heat rising to the surface of my cheeks. I couldn't even keep myself from smiling. I cleared my throat. "Good. Actually, really good."

Her smile widened. "I'm glad to hear that. Griffin is a great guy."

"I know," I said, thinking of how he got up with me during the night and dozed on the pillows beside me while I nursed Teddy.

Phoebe came in, followed by Maisie, Amelia, and Madison. We ended up deciding to get a table. I had a little cushion of time before I needed to be in the office. When we sat down, I experienced a sensation that was becoming familiar, a brief moment where I felt like I had forgotten something extremely important.

I gave my head a little shake, and Amelia noticed. "What is it?"

"Ever since I started going back to work and taking Teddy to daycare, this weird thing happens where I'll think I forgot something, but I didn't. He's basically been an extra limb for months. It's a little weird not having him with me all the time. I love him, but it's nice having a little break."

Amelia nodded vigorously. "I totally get it. I thought I was going to climb out of my skin after the first few months. I was so relieved that I had my mom and Cade's parents to help. Without them…" She let out a hearty sigh. "I don't know what I would do."

"My mom came up for two weeks at the beginning, but she's still working so she can't be here full-time. I bet it's really nice having your parents close," I replied.

"It is, but we still do daycare. They all have things going on and they work. I am not cut out for the stay-at-home mom thing. I feel like I'm a much better mom when I'm working. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I am really freaking tired, but I can enjoy it more and not feel burnt out on it," she explained.

I smiled over at Amelia. "I love your take. That helps me with my guilt."

The conversation carried on. I didn't know why, but a sense of unease slid through me a few minutes later. I checked my watch, noting I needed to leave for work soon. I glanced around the table before looking toward the doorway to the café. My stomach plummeted and nausea rose in my throat.

"Are you okay?" Phoebe asked from my side.

I swallowed through the acid burning in my throat. "That's Paul," I whispered under my breath.