18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Logan

I couldn't believe I made Nick come. I still struggled to wrap my head around it while he wrapped his hand around my dick. Hell, my hand was still covered in his cum, cupping it as if it was something precious. God, why'd I have to be so weird?

How did Nick and I get here? Only last week, we were stepbrothers who barely tolerated each other. Now Nick was jacking me off in the fucking woods as it started to rain.

I've got you, Logan .

His words reverberated around my head over and over. I was so fucking confused and so fucking turned on that it bordered on frustration. Touching Nick like that had only been in my fantasies, never daring to dream that it would ever happen. In my arousal-hazed mind, I began doubting if he really did this to help me. Maybe he'd just been messing with me as payback for all the shit I'd done to him.

The rain started coming down harder, but the thick canopy of leaves from the trees protected us for the most part. My body grew chilled from the cooling temperature, yet I was filled with fire from Nick stroking me. He had his body tightly pressed against mine, like a shield protecting me from the outside world.

I've got you, Logan .

I gasped for breath as I watched his strong fingers slide over my cock, twisting and swiping the head. His other hand and arm were wrapped around my stomach. Nick made me feel safe. From what, I didn't know.

I've got you, Logan .

"Does that feel good?"

"Yeah…"

"Tell me what you want."

Why?

Why is he doing this?

This wasn't supposed to be possible.

I shut my negative thoughts out to focus on Nick and coming. I'd worry about the consequences after because I couldn't turn back now. No way would I stop him. I needed this more than breathing. And that was what put me in a tailspin.

"Don't stop," I said. "Just don't stop."

"You got it."

"I need…"

"What do you need?"

Answers.

"I need you to move faster… harder."

Nick spit on his palm again and did as I'd asked. His hand moving, squeezing, pumping. I could get lost in his hands all day, but I fucking needed to come. I was desperate for it.

His hand was so much better than mine. He wasn't perfect at it since he wasn't rubbing his own dick, but it was Nick's hand.

The sky suddenly opened up to pour rain on us, but Nick didn't let up. The pressure was achingly strong, and I was teetering on the cusp of having an epic orgasm, hovering there, teasing and taunting me.

When he grabbed my nuts with his other hand, I fucking exploded. Hell, my body exploded as I cried out over the thunder, shooting cum all over the poor tree. He didn't stop until I convulsed from my overstimulated dick.

I breathed for a moment to get my bearings before I turned to face my personal hell—the man I'd loved for so long, I wasn't sure I'd ever find anyone to match.

Nick was drenched, as was I, rainwater spilling off his trembling body as he stared down at his hand, holding some of my cum with a look I couldn't decipher.

"Nick?"

He looked up with his large, dark eyes.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Are you ?"

"I asked you first."

"I asked you second."

God, it was like we reverted to being children.

I rolled my eyes as his face shifted into a crooked smile, and he wiped his hand on the tree. "Let's get in the tent. We're going to be cold without a fire."

By the time we reached the tent and climbed inside, we were both shivering and drenched. Nick reached into his backpack and pulled out a towel, but instead of drying himself off, he took care of me, starting with my hair, getting as much water out of it as he could before he moved along my face, shoulders, and arms. His face was so focused and intent.

Again, with his protectiveness. Why?

Just when I was starting to figure him out, I was confused all over again. Had he really been helping me to explore? If so, why was he drying me off, and why did it feel… intimate?

"Nick?"

He glanced up at me as he dried my legs, but quickly looked away before he started to dry himself.

"Nick… what are you doing?"

"I'm drying us off."

"You know what I mean."

He sighed. "I… don't know."

"Look at me."

When he didn't stop drying himself, I yanked the towel away, suddenly filled with that familiar surge of anger and frustration.

"You know how I feel about you. Are you really helping me? Because it feels like it's more than that. I'm… not some fucking experiment, Nick. This shit just got real serious. Are you fucking with me? Is this about Lauren? It didn't work out, so you thought maybe if you mess with your stepbrother because he likes you, it'll make you feel better?"

His eyes pinged wide. "What? Wait, is that what you think?"

"I don't know what to think. Would you have let Caleb jack you off?"

Nick shook his head.

"Then why me? All because I'm gay?"

"No, just… listen. This… I'm not sure what's going on with me, but this isn't about fucking Lauren. I promise you that. If you weren't gay and, like, hadn't told me how you felt and shit, yeah, maybe none of this would've happened. The first kiss was definitely meant to help you, but…"

He pulled the towel out of my loose hand and wiped his dripping face.

"But what?"

"I'm feeling things, Logan. I wasn't fucking prepared for that. Do you know what's even weirder?"

I shook my head.

"It doesn't scare me. That's the part I'm kind of wigging out about. Like, I should be weirded out, right? But I'm not. Even that first drunken kiss felt… good. But that second kiss in the lake? I was on fucking fire." He sighed and tossed the towel onto his bag. "You stroking me wasn't for practice. I really wanted you to touch me, and I really wanted to touch you. I don't understand it. Am I bi? It doesn't feel like it because I'm not into other guys at all, so I'm just a bit confused."

A part of me wanted to jump him and just smother him in kisses. To finally claim the man I'd always wanted. The other part terrified me. If I let Nick in any more than I already had, and he left me, I'd surely break into tiny pieces, never to be repaired again.

I also didn't want to bring him into my world.

"What do you want from me, Nick?"

His soulful dark eyes were so large, full of struggling emotions, that I wanted to take him into my arms and hold him, to never let go. To tell him I was the one who got him and would protect him like a shield, as he'd done for me by the tree. But I didn't move a muscle.

Lightning brightened the small space for a second before the thunder clapped overhead while the rain pelted our tent.

"I… want to explore this thing building between us."

My hands clenched and unclenched. I growled and dug into my bag to find a clean T-shirt and tossed it on. "I'm not a goddamn experiment!" I said again.

"Dammit, Logan! Can you just calm down and talk to me? Do you really think that lowly of me that I'd use you like that? Or fuck with you? I thought we'd come to some mutual respect between us. God! You're so fucking intense all the time!"

"Out with it then. What else does explore mean?"

"You know what? Fuck you and your sarcasm. You got to explore with me, and willingly, I might add. You used me, and I let you. Hell, it'd been my idea, but you went along with it so you could explore. Why is it so different for me?"

"Because…"

I ran a hand through my damp hair, unable to vocalize my conflicting thoughts.

"I don't want to explore with you sexually, Logan… Okay, I do, but it's more than that. I feel it in my bones. There's something there. We've always had this weird tension between us. Before, it was like I knew you were watching me without seeing you. Or sensing this connection to you whenever you played that record I'd ruined, which I still feel fucking horrible about. Now I realize why you love it so much. I want to explore what this means… for us . I also understand you so much more, and I've come to really like you."

Shit, I really wanted to give in to him, but he was off to one college, I was off to another. Then there was the whole stepbrother thing.

I rubbed my face and growled, unsure of what to do or say.

"No more growling, Logan. Yes, let's explore this thing between us and see how it goes for the next couple of weeks. We can rehash this and see where we'd like to go from there after that."

But I love you, and I won't want to let you go. That was the only thing holding me back. Once I had a taste of him, it'd be game over for me.

You've already had a taste of him, dipshit. And he's letting you have so much more .

"This feels…"

Nick reached for my face and gently cupped my cheek. "Talk to me."

"This feels too good to be true. I've…"

"Wanted me for a while?"

I closed my eyes and nodded.

"Now it's my turn to want you."

I opened my eyes when his lips pressed to mine, only to close them again and get lost in our kiss and his tongue. We definitely weren't practicing anymore. This was real. Nick wanted to kiss me.

There was no turning back now. This time, right now, would either make or break me. I could only hope for the former. Landmines suddenly surrounded my life. One misstep and my heart would be blown to pieces, but in the center was everything I'd ever wanted. I had the chance to find some sort of happiness and end my loneliness. I would take it.

My hand slid through the wet hair at the back of his head and pulled him closer to me. My other hand explored his smooth, chilled skin, sprinkled with goosebumps. He smelled of soap and rain and tasted like forbidden ecstasy.

His hand slipped under my T-shirt and traveled across my chest, grazing a thumb over my nipple. A shiver traveled inside and out of my body.

"Like that, do we?" he asked over my lips.

"Yes."

Nick's tongue forced its way into my mouth, and I sucked on it for a second before exploring him with my own tongue.

He pulled away, kissing my scruffy jaw and throat before finding my lips again. I paid attention to every little thing he was doing to me, filing it away into my memories to learn more and never forget.

After kissing for who knew how long, we pulled away, panting. His lips were slightly swollen and glistening with saliva.

"Are we doing this, Logan?"

"Don't fuck with me, Nick. Please."

"Hmm, too bad, but if you wish."

"What?" I blinked several times before what he said clicked, and my face flamed. "That's not—"

He smothered my words with a kiss to shut me up.

"I know what you meant. I'm not out to hurt you, Logan."

"Okay."

His eyes shot up toward the roof of the tent, grinning. "Do you hear that?"

I shook my head.

"The storm's moving on."

"We should probably move on, too. The Ozarks are calling us."

Nick and I did our best to dry everything off. Fortunately, most of our crap was inside the tent. Once we had everything packed up, we headed out for the three-and-a-half-hour drive to the Ozarks, past Little Rock, Arkansas.

After we buckled up in the car, I lit a smoke. "Ready?"

Nick held out his hand, and I clasped it. "I'm ready."

I couldn't help but think he meant more than the drive to Arkansas.