Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

“Thank you so much. I’ll be there in a little while,” I said into my cell before hanging up.

Pure excitement shimmered through my veins as I started collecting my water and food for the day. I’d just finished slapping two sandwiches together when the sound of a car leaving drifted into the apartment, making me pause for a second. I wondered where they were going. Last night hadn’t been the worst time I’d ever spent, but it hadn’t been the best either.

Good luck to them.

I had just finished putting my things into my backpack when a loud knock came at the door followed by an “Ora!”

It was Am. “Come in!” I hollered back a split second before the door creaked open and the sound of his footsteps warned me he was coming up.

Sure enough, I’d just finished with the zipper when he huffed out, “Can I hang out here?”

I was already grinning when I looked up to find him clearing the landing, stomping over to the table. “Of course you can.” I paused and thought about it. “I thought you were supposed to be doing things with your grandpa today though.”

Amos blew out a breath before dropping into one of the chairs around the little table. “He left a second ago after he and Dad got into it.” He leaned forward and picked up one of the pieces to a puzzle I had barely begun putting together. “Dad’s all pissed off now, and I don’t wanna be around him.”

Ooh. What happened? I didn’t ask as I picked up my backpack and put it over my shoulder. “That sucks, Am. I’m sorry. I’m leaving, but do you want to come with me? If your dad will let you.”

He was still leaning over the puzzle. “Where are you going?”

“I’m renting a UTV.”

The teenager shook his head. “Nah.”

I shrugged. “All right then. Finish that puzzle if you want.”

Amos didn’t even glance up as he nodded, and I snickered on the way out, wondering what the hell had gone down with Rhodes and his dad. I had just opened the door outside when I spotted the figure rooting through the back seat of his work truck.

Would he . . . ?

“Hi, Rhodes!” I yelled.

The muscles in his back bunched before he stood up and leveled his gaze at me.

Yeah, Amos hadn’t been joking. He was in a bad mood.

Something that had to be affection nipped at my chest, and I couldn’t help but smile at him even as he scowled. Rhodes was pretty cute even while he was mad.

“Hi,” he replied, not moving an inch.

“I saw your dad left,” I said, approaching him.

He grunted.

What the hell had happened? “Am’s in the apartment . . .” He was so grumpy and maybe this wouldn’t be a good idea, but maybe it would. He’d pretty much hinted that he didn’t dislike me, so . . . “I was going to invite you to come with me, but I think I’m just going to tell you to come.”

Those thick eyelashes dropped over his purple-gray eyes.

I smiled, then tipped my head toward my car.

“I don’t think I’d be good company today,” he muttered.

“That’s subjective, but you should come anyway,” I told him. “You don’t even have to talk if you don’t want to. Maybe you’ll let some steam off though.”

The man grunted and started shaking his head. “No, it’s not a good idea.”

I knew what I could handle, and him in a pissy mood was nothing. “Okay then. I’ll be back this afternoon.” I took a step back. “Wish me luck.”

He had started turning back toward his truck when he suddenly stopped and looked at me again, suspicion bubbling beneath the grumpiness his features were formed into.

“Bye—”

“Where are you going?”

I told him the name of the location where I was renting the UTV from.

“You’re going for a hike?” he asked slowly.

“Nope.” I extended both my hands forward and made a driving gesture. “I rented a Razorback UTV.” I lifted a hand at him before he could ask another question. “All right, see you later!”

“Do you know what you’re doing?”

“Does anyone really know what they’re doing?” I joked.

There wasn’t even a second of hesitation before he tilted his head back toward the sky, let out a huff, then grumbled, “Give me a second.”

I stopped and tried to keep my features even. “You want to come after all?”

He was already moving toward the house after slamming the car door closed. “Wait for me.”

I couldn’t help but grin as I glanced up toward the apartment to find Amos at the window. I gave him a thumbs-up. I was pretty sure he smiled.

True to his word, Rhodes was back out with his backpack and what looked like two jackets in his hand, maybe a minute or two later.

He still looked pretty pissy, but I didn’t take it to heart. Maybe he’d tell me what happened that had his dad leaving early and possibly ruining his mood, but maybe he wouldn’t. Hopefully though, maybe, just maybe, I could help turn his day around a little. That was my goal at least. Even if he didn’t talk, that was okay.

His mouth was a flat line as he headed straight toward my passenger door, pausing right as he got there before bellowing, “I’m going with Aurora, Am. Don’t leave the house. We’ll be back later.”

Which got him a hollered “K!”

That boy sounded way too excited to be left home alone. I bit back a smile as I got into the car and watched as Rhodes did the same. It wasn’t until we were way down the road, turning onto the main highway, that Rhodes asked, “You were going to do this by yourself?”

I kept my attention forward. “Yeah, I’ve been wanting to do it for a few weeks.”

He muttered something under his breath as he shifted his weight around in my front seat.

Someone was really in a mood. “I would’ve invited Clara and Jackie, but I know they had plans with her brothers, and I asked Amos, but he said no, and I don’t really have any customers from the store that I know well enough yet to invite,” I explained. “I think we’re getting there, but not yet.”

Rhodes’s “Hmph” had me biting back another smile. Maybe he was coming because he didn’t have anything else to do now—which I doubted—but I had a feeling he’d come to make sure I didn’t do anything stupid.

I waited until I knew we were getting close to the campground before offering, “You know, if you want to talk about whatever is bothering you, I’m a pretty good listener. I don’t always run my mouth off.”

His arms were crossed over his chest, and his knees were spread as wide as they could get in my passenger seat. I could still feel the tension coming off his body, so I wasn’t totally surprised when he grunted, “I think coming might have been a bad idea.”

“Maybe, but I’m not taking you back home now, so try your best if you want. Or don’t,” I told him.

I didn’t miss the look he sent me, part surprised at the message and maybe even a little annoyed.

It wasn’t even a little surprising when he kept quiet the rest of the way, me humming a Yuki song under my breath until I’d parked the car, and we both got out. There was a big truck with an even bigger trailer parked at the start of the UTV trail, and I waved at the customer I’d met who had told me all about his UTV business.

“Hi, Ora,” the man called out, already holding a clipboard with the papers he’d warned me would need to be signed.

“Hi, Andy,” I greeted him, shaking his hand when he extended it. Rhodes stopped right beside me, the side of his arm brushing mine. “This is Rhodes. Rhodes, this is Andy.”

It was Andy who extended his hand out first. “You’re the game warden in the area, aren’t you?”

My landlord nodded, giving him a solid shake. “I’ve worked with your partner before,” he told him, his tone still pretty pissy.

Andy made a funny face—I wasn’t sure what it might have meant—before focusing back on me and saying, “Let’s get this paperwork done so you can get started, what do you say?”

“I say let’s do it,” I told him with a smile.

The arm at my side brushed it again, and I flashed Rhodes a smile too, earning a pinch of that mouth. But I didn’t miss the way his gaze went from my eyes to my mouth and back, and I didn’t imagine the soft sigh that he slowly let out before I turned back to the man renting out the UTV.

It didn’t take more than ten minutes to fill out all the consent forms and disclosures and for him to briefly explain how to use the UTV. I’d given him my credit card information over the phone, so the payment was already made. Andy paused to think for a second before pulling out two helmets from the back of his truck and throwing out a suggestion we wear sunglasses. Then he handed the keys over, and I finally looked back at Rhodes and asked, “Want to drive first?”

“You can go first,” he said in that grumpy voice.

He didn’t have to tell me twice. What he did do though was hand over one of the jackets he’d brought. I tugged it on, zipped it up, and then strapped my backpack down in the back before hopping into the driver’s seat. Rhodes got in too, his face still stony, and buckled himself in. It was then that he finally turned just a little and asked, seriously, “Do you know where you’re going?”

I started the UTV and smiled. “No, but we’ll figure it out.”

And then I hit the gas pedal and we were off.

What was maybe half an hour later, Rhodes slammed his hands down on the console in front of his seat and turned to look at me with the widest eyes—in shock? Alarm? Panic? All of the above maybe?

To give him credit, he wasn’t pale. His cheeks were pink under silver and brown facial hair, but he didn’t look scared. Honestly, his expression was closer to the rabid raccoon one than anything else.

I smiled at him. “Fun, huh?”

His mouth opened a little, but no words came out.

I’d had fun at least. The UTV had incredible suspension, so I was pretty sure I wouldn’t have a bruised tailbone or anything—been there, done that before, and it was not fun—but even if I did end up with one, it would have been totally worth it. That had been awesome.

At one point, Rhodes’s hands had been formed into tight fists on his lap . . . when he hadn’t been gripping the closest rails at my super sharp turns.

And when I hit the gas and accelerated fast.

And when I didn’t tap the brakes and kept on going at the same speed I’d been at.

“What . . . the . . . fuck . . . was . . . that?” he asked slowly, every word coming out his mouth about two seconds apart from the previous one.

I unbuckled the seat belt and turned off the vehicle, deciding a water break would be pretty great about now. The windshield had kept a lot of dust from coming in, but just enough had—more than likely while I’d been laughing—to dry my mouth and throat out.

“Having fun?” I answered him. “Want some water?”

Rhodes shook his head slowly, his eyes still wide, fingers still gripping the console. “I do want some water, but first I want to know, what in the hell was that?”

“Did I scare you?” I asked him, feeling concerned all of a sudden. “I asked if you were okay a few times, but you didn’t say anything, and I told you to trust me right after we took off. I’m sorry if I worried you.”

“You just drove like a . . . like a . . .”

“Rally car driver?” I suggested.

I’m pretty sure the forty-two-year-old gave me the stink eye. “Yes. I thought you were going to drive five, maybe ten miles an hour, and I saw . . . I saw the speedometer,” he accused.

I winced. So had I.

“Where did you learn how to drive like that?” he finally managed to ask, mouth still slightly open.

I leaned against the back of the seat and gave him a subdued smile. “From a rally car driver.”

He stared at me for a moment; then his mouth twisted to the side. Those gray eyes flicked up toward the ceiling of the vehicle at the same time his expression went from irritated to straight thoughtful. Then and only then did Rhodes’s mouth twist before saying, with his attention still upward, “I should be surprised, but somehow I’m not.”

Was that a compliment, or was that a compliment? I smiled again, not that he saw it though. “My friend Yuki, remember her? My friend that came to visit? Anyway, she has this farm, and one of her sisters was dating a rally car driver that she brought over that weekend. Long story short, he showed us some things.” I snorted to myself before I cracked up. “Yuki rolled the UTV, but other than that, it was a lot of fun. He said I had a natural talent.”

His gaze flicked to me then, and his mouth twisted even more a moment before he lowered his chin and pressed his lips together. “A natural talent?”

I shrugged. “I’m scared of animals that carry diseases, heights, and disappointing people. I’m not scared of dying.”

“Oh” was what he said. The twist of his mouth fell apart as he stared at me. He really was too handsome for his own good.

And I needed to stop staring at his face. “Vroom, vroom, want to go again?” I asked.

This attractive man ran a hand through his brownish-silver hair and nodded after a moment. But there was something in his eyes . . . amusement? Maybe? “You’re a menace to society, but I’m off the clock,” he said. “Show me what you got.”

We got a drink of water and took off again.

A while later, after we switched off and he took over behind the wheel, we stopped again at a small clearing. I handed Rhodes one of the two sandwiches I’d packed, and we sat on a patch of grass in the sun. We’d barely spoken to each other, both of us too busy gritting our teeth and going faster than what was suggested or safe, but it was off-season and there hadn’t been any other trailers parked, so we went for it. At least that’s what I’d assumed when he didn’t say anything about slowing down.

Two or three times, I heard Rhodes laugh, and I couldn’t help but smile each time he did.

Slowly, most of his tension had eased from his shoulders and chest. It was when he’d stretched his legs out in front of him, one hand behind his back, the other holding the sandwich up to his mouth as he ate the ham and cheese in neat bites, that he said, “Thank you for bringing me.”

I had to wait to answer because my mouth was full. “You’re welcome. Thank you for coming with me.”

Neither one of us said a word for a while, eating a little more, soaking up the warm rays of the sun. It was a beautiful day after all. The sky was my favorite shade of blue, a color I wouldn’t have imagined was real unless I’d seen it with my own eyes. The silence was comfortable. Comforting. The small sounds of the birds in the trees were a reminder that there was more than just us. That life carried on in ways that had nothing to do with our human lives.

More than I would ever admit to him, so that I wouldn’t make him feel weird, I liked that I wasn’t alone. That this big, stoic man was here with me, and I was, hopefully, turning his day around at least a little bit. It was the least I could do after so many people throughout my life had done the same for me, trying to cheer me up when things weren’t great.

“My dad and I got into an argument before he left,” he said suddenly, holding what was left of his sandwich loosely.

I waited, taking another bite.

“I forgot how much he pisses me off.”

I kept on waiting for him to say something else, and it took him a couple more bites to continue.

“I know Am doesn’t care if he stays or he goes, but I do. Business has always been more important to him than anything.” Rhodes kept talking, his voice calm. “I think he genuinely felt guilty for once in his life, but . . .”

I didn’t know how he felt. Not really. And that’s why I think I set my hand on his. Because I understood what it was like to have people disappoint you.

His eyes caught mine and stayed there. There was still frustration in his gaze, but it was less. Mostly because there was something else in them. Something I wasn’t totally sure I understood or recognized.

I moved my thumb a little, the pad brushing over a raised scar. Peeking down at it, I saw the puckered line was pale and about two inches long. I touched it again, and sensing that he might want an out from talking about his dad—about something personal to him—I asked, “What’s this from?”

“I was . . . processing a bull—”

I must have made a face because one corner of his mouth hitched up a tiny bit.

“An elk. A male elk, and my knife slipped.”

“Ouch. Did you have to get stitches?”

His other hand came over, hovering just above mine—and oh, was it a warm palm—before his index finger swept over the scar too, brushing the side of my finger in the process. “No. I should have, but I didn’t. Probably why it healed so bad.”

I didn’t want to move my hand, so I stretched my pinky finger and touched a tiny scar on his knuckle. “And this one?”

Rhodes didn’t move his hand either. “Fight.”

“You got into a fight?” I squawked, surprised.

Yeah, the side of his mouth went a little tighter, just a little higher. “I was young.”

“You’re still young now.”

He huffed. “Younger then. Johnny got into a fight when we were in high school, and Billy and I jumped in. I don’t even remember what it was over. All I remember was splitting my knuckles and bleeding all over the place. It took forever to stop,” he told me, moving his finger just a little, brushing mine again as he did it.

I still didn’t move. “Did you get into a lot of fights when you were younger?”

“A few, but not since. I had a lot of anger back then. I don’t anymore.”

I lifted my eyes and caught those gray ones already intent on me. His features were smooth and even, almost carefully blank, and I wondered what he was thinking. I smiled at him, but he didn’t smile back.

Instead, Rhodes asked, “You? Did you get into fights when you were younger?”

“No. No way. I hate confrontations. I have to be really mad to raise my voice. Most stuff doesn’t bother me anyway. My feelings don’t get hurt that easily,” I told him. “You can fix a lot of things by just listening to someone and giving them a hug.” I pointed at a couple spots on my face and arms. “All my scars are from being accident-prone.”

His snort caught me off guard. From his facial expression, I think it did him too.

“Are you laughing at me?” I asked, grinning.

His mouth twitched, but his eyes were bright for the first time. “Not at you. At me.”

I narrowed my eyes, playing with him.

His finger brushed mine as his mouth formed a full-on smile that could have made me fall in love on the spot if it had lasted any longer than the blink it did. “I’ve never met anybody like you.”

“I hope that’s a good thing?”

“I’ve met people who don’t know what it’s like to be sad. I’ve met resilient people. But you . . .” He shook his head, his gaze watching me closely in that rabid raccoon way. “You got this spark of life that nothing and no one has taken away despite the things that have happened to you, and I don’t understand how you still manage to . . . be you.”

My chest ached for a moment in not a bad way. “I’m not always happy. I’m sad sometimes. I told you, not a lot hurts my feelings, but when something gets under there, it really gets under there.” I let his words settle deep inside of me, this soothing, warm balm I didn’t know I needed. “But thank you. That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about me.”

Those gray eyes moved over my face again, something troubled flashing across his eyes for a moment so brief I thought I might have imagined it. Because the next thing he said was normal. More than normal. “Thank you for bringing me out here.” He paused. “And giving me a few more gray hairs from the way you were driving.”

He was joking. Hold the presses. I smiled at him sweetly, trying to act normal. “I like your silver hair, but if you want to drive back, you can.”

His huff made me smile, but the way his finger grazed my hand made me smile even more.