37. KADENCE

KADENCE

“ B aby?” I groan, slipping the straps of my light blue sundress over my shoulders.

I start buttoning up the front of it as I glance at the bathroom door. He’s been in there for a while now and I’m sure he’s finished showering. “You know,” I tease as I fasten the last button on the bust of my dress. “We’re gonna have to have a chat about the fact that you’re taking longer than me to get ready for a party.”

A chuckle comes through the door that makes me smile and a soft blush creeps up my cheeks. I’ll never get tired of hearing him laugh. It's quickly becoming one of my favorite sounds.

“Sunflower, you don’t need time to get ready when you’re already so damn pretty,” he says through the door, his voice muffled but doing nothing to tamper down the charm flowing from him. “I need time to fix this ugly mug.”

I make my way to the bed, sitting on the edge to pull on my boots. “Holden, you are not–” The bathroom door opens, and my gaze trails down his body, taking in the more than worn-in jeans that hug his muscular thighs, the white t-shirt that stretches across the broadness of his shoulders, doing nothing to hide the strong muscles there. But it’s when I finally look at his face that my mouth drops open and my eyes go wide.

He turns towards me, raising a brow. “What?”

I stare at the now clean shaven stubble that peppers his skin, a little thicker around his chin and mouth but not much. It makes the lines of his face look sharper, yet stronger somehow and his hair is cropped shorter. No longer the long chestnut locks that I love to tangle my fingers in, but now buzzed on the sides and cropped up top.

Holden laughs softly. “You like it?” he asks, rubbing one hand on the back of his neck in a nervous motion. My eyes flit to his bicep straining against the sleeve of his t-shirt as I stand.

“Are you sure we have to show up tonight?” I ask, the corners of my mouth turning upwards as I slide my hands up and over his shoulders. Holden’s hands drop to my waist, wrapping me in his arms as a wicked smile grows on his lips.

“Yes, sweetheart, we do.” He dips his head, his lips latching onto the spot between my collarbone and neck that sends shivers down my spine. A whimper falls from me as my hands continue up the back of his neck, the short hairs there prickling at my fingertips. Holden groans against my skin before pulling back from me and planting a quick kiss on my lips. “We have to quit it,” he rasps, “otherwise we’ll never leave this room.”

I smirk softly. “That still doesn’t sound so bad.”

Holden grins and shakes his head as he grabs his own boots and takes my spot on the bed. His eyes rove down my body as I wait for him. “Be careful Kade, keep talkin’ like that and I’ll have no choice to tear that dress off you later and it’s a really good lookin’ dress.”

I cross my arms over my chest. “Is that a challenge?”

He finishes slipping into his own boots and stands to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “It's a promise, Sunflower.” Holden smirks.

He drags his index finger down my skin slowly, barely touching me but leaving goosebumps in his wake. He hooks his finger into the top button of my dress just above the swell of my breasts. A wicked smile grows on his lips and with a quick flick of his hand, the top button pops open.

I let out a small gasp, my fingers itching to touch him. To push him back against the bed and keep him here. Something tells me that he won’t mind, but I know that we have to make an appearance downstairs. My newfound need to explore my desires would have to wait.

“Leave it open,” he rasps, “I want to be able to see you.”

My gaze flicks down to my chest. Not much more of my cleavage is showing, just enough that the blue lace bra I have on barely pokes out from between my breasts. “You’re playing with fire, Holden.”

He throws his arm around my shoulders, tugging me with him to the door. “Baby, you should know by now I like to get burned.”

A laugh escapes my lips, shaking my head. “You’re crazy.”

“Only for you,” he mumbles against the side of my head as he leads me down the stairs.

The parking lot is already full of members, some I recognize and others that I haven’t met yet. The wolf mural seems to glow in the afternoon light and glints of chrome glitter off the wall with the long row of motorcycles that line up underneath it. Grill smoke fills the air around them and the sounds of boisterous laughter echo through the compound.

The gate that normally stays open during the day is closed and I can see a couple of members standing on either side of it, holding their ground as if they were guards watching over a fortress. I glance up at Holden. His eyes flicker left and right with his jaw ticking in overtime, taking in our surroundings and I don’t miss the way his body tenses the further we get to the bottom.

Pulling from his grasp, I spin in front of him as we step off the last stair. His arm falls from around my shoulders and I quickly take his hand, intertwining our fingers. “What’s wrong?”

Deep blue eyes glance down at me. “I’m second guessing this.”

“Why?” I ask gently, knowing it takes a lot for him to open up.

“Because as much as I want to watch you walk around in this dress, tits on display for me…” He pauses, eyes flicking up to the sound of heavy boots on pavement behind us. I lift my hand cupping his cheek to catch his gaze again, “If anyone but me touches you, I’ll take their hands.” His voice is low and raspy with the warning that sends a shooting tingle up my spine.

I suck in a breath before standing on my tip-toes, dragging my lips over his. “Then you show them who I am.”

A low rumble vibrates in his chest as his hands tangle into my hair and he closes the breath of a distance between the two of us. His lips crash down hard against mine, sending a thrill of goosebumps up my skin even in the high afternoon heat. I melt into him, holding onto the lapels of his cut with my hands trapped between us.

Holden pulls away, his lips bitten red and mine tingling from his newly shaved stubble.

“Wherever this spitfire came from,” he breathes, running his thumb along my bottom lip shaking his head. “I owe it a thank you.”

I grin and tug on his leather cut. “I think you’ll need a mirror for that.”

A low whistle echoes behind us as I spin around. Scottie stands in front of us, a wide grin spread over his face, highlighting the scars that adorn his cheeks under the peppered scruff. “You finally decided to cut off that mop?” He asks, jerking his chin at Holden.

“It was time,” Holden rumbles behind me. His hands drift to my waist as he steps behind me. “Everythin’ cool?”

“Anythin’ was better than that shag you had goin’,” Scottie chuckles. “I hate to break you two love birds up but Cole needs Nash behind the grill before we lose al’our dinner.”

I tuck myself under Holden’s arm as he wraps it around my shoulders again and laugh when he tilts his head back to groan. “Who the fuck gave O’Neil the tongs?”

Scottie chuckles, clapping a hand on Holden’s shoulder. “You have Marlowe to thank for that.” Another groan leaves him as we head towards the clubhouse. Scottie leans over Holden, catching my gaze. “How you feelin’ lass?”

“Way better,” I smile.

“I knew you were a tough one.” He grins down at me before glancing between us. “And you two are okay?”

I laugh. “If I knew any better, Scottie, I’d think you were looking for some gossip.”

Holden shakes his head. “Don’t entertain him. He’ll just keep askin’.”

Scottie huffs out a laugh. “No, brother, I’m just making sure you don’t fuck up and let this one go.” He points a finger in my direction.

A flush grows over my cheeks as the two men glare at each other. A part of me loves that Holden has become so protective over me but I’m feeling like I don’t need it. I feel stronger than I have in a long time. My body still aches in places and some nights I can still feel the cold water hit my skin like daggers but for the most part the nightmares of that night have subsided. I know that I’ve woken Holden up more than once with the chattering of my teeth at the memory. Still he never leaves me; instead he wraps his arms around me and holds me tight against him until the warmth of his body calms me.

I feel Holden’s eyes on me and when I look up they’re practically twinkling. Aside from the hard set of his jaw and the way his hand tenses on my shoulder, I see nothing but awe in his eyes.

“I don’t plan to,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to my temple.

Once again that warm fuzzy feeling in my stomach flutters and I know that the more time I spend with him, the further I fall.

“Nash!” Cole’s voice hollers across the parking lot dragging our gazes to him.

His tanned skin glistens under the sun and the blue and white O’Neil’s Towing trucker’s hat he has covers his eyes, but even he looks happier than he has been in awhile. After we met at the diner things have been lighter around the three of us. Even with the feeling of Stokes and Watson lurking around.

I meet Cole’s eyes as he grins at me. There is nothing malicious or hard behind the smile. He just seems normal. Holden turns and presses a kiss to my forehead.

“Go with Scottie and find the girls. Blake’s been dying to have some alone time with you.”

He cups my cheeks, dipping his head as his lips hover over mine just enough for the embers in my core to burn before he finally presses them to my lips. I hum softly, tangling my fingers into his shirt.

“A’ight you two love birds, break it up.”

I giggle against his lips, taking a step back from him. “See ya later?”

“You can count on it, Sunflower.” Holden smirks before spinning on his heel and jogging over to where Cole is currently fanning the grill with a pot holder. A few choice curse words fly from Holden’s mouth as soon as he steps up to the grill assessing the damage Cole has apparently already done.

Scottie nudges me gently with his elbow, getting my attention. “How are you really ?” He asks, low enough that only I can hear him. I hook my arm into his as he begins to lead us into the clubhouse.

“I am better.” I smile, “things are…” I toss a glance over my shoulder at Holden, unable to help the smile that forms over my lips, seeing him and Cole grinning and shoving each other away from the grill, “Good.”

He nods, a knowing smile plastered over his hardened face. “About the other thing, you uh… haven’t heard anything from dick face have you?”

My brows furrow as he holds open the door to the compound for me. “Jeremy?” I shake my head when he nods again. “No. To be honest I haven’t turned my phone back on since before the news junket.”

“It might be time to do that, sweetheart,” Scottie urges gently. “See if he’s reached out. If he has, let us know. The more we know about whatever he’s planning the better.”

This is the last thing I want to think about today. My impending nuclear bomb that lurks in the shadows of my life. I’m sure that if I turn my phone back on, I’ll have text messages from the bastard.

“Hey,” he rests a hand on my shoulder. “Doesn’t have to be today. Just soon.”

I smile, though it doesn’t quite reach my eyes. A sense of dread fills me thinking about the danger that’s to come but it’s quickly snubbed out by the sound of my name screeching out of Blake’s mouth.

I spin, seeing the brunette basically charge right at me. A wide smile on her face and slender arms held out wide as she pulls me into her. I feel Blake’s hand wrap around the back of my head in a death grip of a hug. I’ve seen Blake a few times over the past few weeks, bringing me clothes and food. Checking in on me when Holden needs his own change of clothes and has to leave for a bit. All fleeting moments that never lasted longer than an hour or so.

“It’s so good seeing you up and about,” she mutters into my hair. “I thought Holden would keep you locked up in that tower forever.”

I pull back with a laugh. “If it were up to him, I’d probably be wrapped up in bubble wrap.”

“Oh trust me, the man wanted to safety-proof the clubhouse. Cole had to convince him that you weren’t a toddler and could walk just fine.” She grins, “Dex almost agreed with Holden.”

“Why does none of that surprise me.” I laugh, wrapping my arm around Blake’s waist. “I’m almost shocked that Cole didn’t agree with them.”

Blake flashes me a warm smile. “Because I told him I’d slash his tires if he didn’t convince them otherwise.”

I stare at her in shock and my mouth drops open as Blake laughs. “Blake, you didn’t!”

“You can take care of yourself, Kade. You don’t need these men turning cavemen around you, as much as they’d probably enjoy it way too much. They need to let you breathe, and the three of them were buzzing around you like bees to honey.”

Blake leads me over to the bar where Marlowe is already passing out drinks to a group of women standing at the other end.

“They don’t have to do that.” I glance up to see Layla staring straight at me. Her dark eyes narrow and painted lips pursed together. “I don’t want to be treated differently.”

“But you are different,” Blake says, stopping us just out of earshot of the rest of the group. “Holden and Cole hadn’t said more than a few words to each other before you came along, and he and Dex sure as shit never agreed on anything before you. You’re healing Holden as much as he’s helping heal you.”

I swallow thickly as my eyes meet Blake’s.

“Look,” Blake sighs, resting her hands over her arms. “After Becca died, the club fractured. Holden wanted nothing to do with the shop. He practically lived at Moon with the few exceptions where he’d show up here plastered and looking for another easy lay.” She grimaces slightly with her own words but it’s not anything that I didn’t already assume. “Since you showed up, Holden has actually come to work. He’s on speaking terms with Dex again and whatever happened the other night at the diner has had Cole in a better mood. None of this started happening until you.”

“Why weren’t Dex and Holden on speaking terms?” I ask, her brows furrow. It’s not something that either of them ever mentioned before.

Blake’s eyes flicker over me. “You don’t know?”

I shake my head.

“Dex was on watch the night Becca died…no one was supposed to leave the compound and Becca snuck past the guys.”

“I…I didn’t know that,” I mutter. It explains a lot of the tension between the two of them. Why Holden seems pissed at Dex most of the time. I sigh, shaking my head, “I don’t want to be the peacekeeper between the three of them.”

“I don’t think you are,” Blake says. “For what it’s worth, I think you’re just helping them find peace with the past and uniting them for the future.”

I look at her with confusion. “What do you mean?”

“If this shit with Stokes and Watson gets worse, the three of them will need to work together not against each other, because if Stokes even senses any sort of tension within the club, we’re doomed.”

My eyes widen. “That’s a lot of pressure Blake. I can’t–I can’t be that bandaid for them.”

“You already are, my love.” Blake flashes me a winning smile. “So deal with it because you, Kadence, are truly the missing piece for all of this.”

“Jesus, Blake,” I breathe. “How do you figure that?”

She hooks her arm around me and shrugs. “Just a feeling. C’mon, no more heavy talk though, yeah? Let’s just have a good time tonight.”

I nod, not protesting that. Everything has felt so heavy the last few weeks that tonight I just want a break. Something to keep my mind off of Jeremy, off of whatever the guys planned for Stokes and Watson. I want to feel normal.

I follow Blake to the bar and get to work helping fill shot glasses with whiskey and tequila. I smile and joke around with members as they pass by to grab a glass.

Cackles erupt in the corner where the group of women stand. I glance over at them, Layla and Jane are grinning at whatever one of the other girls are saying. My eyes roam over the group. All of them are wearing skin-tight dresses, heels that would make my ankles sore, and enough makeup to supply ten drag queens. I glance down at the light blue dress I’m wearing. It is speckled with white daisies and hits just above my knees. Compared to all of them, I feel like I’m dressed for a Sunday Service.

Aside from the silk lavender dress that was destroyed in my fall, I never wear anything like that. My normal makeup is maybe a little concealer and mascara. There was never time to sit in front of a mirror and take care of myself. It was always about Jeremy. But now, staring at the giggling group of women, I start to understand more and more why Sandy wanted a makeover in Grease. Men like Holden don’t want women like me. They want the sex appeal. Something I’ve never had.

I suck in a breath and get back to pouring shots, shaking my head as I try to get rid of the doubt lingering in my head. Nothing Holden has said or done has made me feel like he doesn’t want me. Hell, spending the last two days locked in the apartment exploring each other should be my first clue. But I can’t help but feel that icky bubbling in my gut that makes me wonder if I am truly enough for him.