17. HOLDEN

HOLDEN

G od, she feels good under my touch.

The softness of her skin, the way her lips ghost around the stubble of my jaw, sending me into a fit of giggles like I’m a kid again being tickled. Her hips grind down into mine, firing a jolt of electricity up my spine, and if it wasn’t for the cold wood beneath me keeping me grounded, I probably would give her everything I have right here and now.

Kissing her at Marlowe’s was like a dam breaking. Every doubt, every slice of annoyance that I feel towards her washes away with the way she melts into me. Like she hasn’t been touched or kissed this way–ever.

I wrap my hands around the backs of her thighs as she straddles me. My legs are still dangling off the edge of the bridge. I’m not lying when I say I’ve got her. What she doesn’t know is that I want her in more ways than one, but for now, I’d hang on to any moment that she’ll let me have.

We’ve been like this for a while, staring at each other, her fingers dancing along my chin, studying each freckle on my face while I watch the way the corners of her mouth upturn slightly when she discovers something new about me and soon the moon dips behind the clouds blanketing us in darkness.

“I need to get you back to the shop,” I whisper, even though everything in me wants to stay here, in the bubble we’ve created in a place that means more to me than anything else now.

Kadence hums, burying her face in my neck in protest. The gesture makes me laugh. She’s coming out of her shell and I’m beginning to see the light in her through the cracks in her mask.

“C’mon, pretty girl,” I chuckle, nudging her up. “Let’s get you back to the apartment and get you warm.”

She lets out a soft whine, “but I’m warm right here.” Finally she lifts her head, grinning down at me.

I sit up, wrapping my arms around her, careful not to let her lean backward over the edge of the bridge. “You’ll be warmer in bed,” I grin and lean in to nip at her jawline, “and it’s a hell of a lot more comfortable to lay on than this wood.”

“Who says you’re laying in my bed tonight, Nash?” Her voice drops to a sultry whisper that makes my cock tense.

I lean back again, taking in the sight of her darkening eyes. The bright green now a small ring around the black.

“Do you want me to?” I ask with a raised brow.

She taps her chin like she’s thinking. “We’ll see,” Kadence says after a moment, another grin forming across perfectly plump lips.

I narrow my eyes at her for a moment, nodding slowly, “We’ll see, huh?”

“Mhm,” she hums, leaning back into me so our lips are barely touching. I feel the tip of her tongue dart out, wetting her bottom lip before gently running over mine. Again, my cock twitches below her which only eggs her on as she rolls her hips.

A groan settles in my throat as my head tips forward, our foreheads resting against each other, “You’re going to be the death of me, Kade.”

“Maybe, but not tonight,” she whispers as her hands cup my face, forcing my eyes back to her own. My hands fall to her hips, causing them to stop the gentle roll she had started,

“Take me home?” She presses her lips to mine, softly and so sweet it feels like my insides are turning into a puddle.

I pull back, both of us breathless. “Let’s go.”

Kadence climbs over me, careful not to lose her balance as she teeters on the edge of the bridge. She smooths out her clothes, wrapping her jacket further around her as the night air hits the exposed skin of her stomach from where her tank top has ridden up.

I can’t help but stare for a moment before standing. Her skin is perfect and it looks soft. Right now I want nothing more than to get her back to the apartment and explore every inch of her body with my lips.

I wrap my hand around hers and lead her back through the forest, at one point using my phone flashlight to help guide us as the trees became thicker. I don’t miss the six missed calls that flash on my screen from Cole.

I already know what that conversation is going to consist of. Cole will assume the worst, no matter what my so-called excuses are, and once again I’d feel like a child being reprimanded. Truth is, I’m sick of it. Cole always has a way of finding the worst in me, especially lately. Ever since I got out a month ago and even after Becca, things haven’t been the same between us. No matter how much we force our normal relationship in front of the club.

Deep down, I want to be better. I know I’m better than the trailer I sleep in and the way I drink liquor like it’s water at the slightest inconvenience. I know I have issues to work through. That’s nothing new for me.

My gaze falls down to Kadence as she holds onto my hand, her grip tightening as the ground beneath us grows softer. At one point she holds on with both of her hands, resting her head against my arm as we walk back to the bike.

There’s something about her that stirs up feelings within me I haven't ever felt. Her being around makes me want to be happier.

I hold the bushes back for her, letting her go first out into the clearing where my bike is still parked. I help her with the helmet before throwing my leg over and settling into the seat. I hold out my hand, helping to hold her steady as she climbed on. Chills race down my spine as she scoots in behind me, her hands finding their way under my shirt. Her nails trace along the contours of my abs and I suck in a breath at the feeling.

I hear her chuckle against my back, knowing full well she’s doing it on purpose. Trying to get a rise out of me and it’s working. She runs them around my waist, the tips of her fingers digging into the top of my jeans. I haven’t even had a chance to get the bike started before she starts to terrorize me.

My hands fall over hers, stopping her from going any further to the hard length in my briefs. “Darlin’, you keep touching me like that, we aren’t making it back to the shop.”

I glance over my shoulder, seeing a mischievous grin spreading across her cheeks that are quickly turning pink. Her bottom lip finds home between her teeth and the moonlight lights up her eyes again. It takes everything in me to not bend her over the leather seat of my bike and take her right here, but something tells me that she isn’t ready for that yet.

There’s something she’s still hiding. Tonight was the first time I’d actually seen her. Felt her be anything other than nervous and small. She looks alive and I want to be the one to keep her feeling that way because it looks gorgeous on her.

Her fingers lock over my abdomen under my shirt to keep her hands warm. For once I don’t mind the frigid feeling of a woman’s fingertips tracing my skin. Her touch leaves a trail of tingles that shoot up my spine and course through me, sparking something that feels foreign.

I rev up the motorcycle, letting it rumble beneath us. I can feel her hips wiggle behind me, the vibration proving to be too much for her.

Good, I think. I want nothing more than to trace every inch of her body and feel her tremble and writhe beneath me. Something in me knows that she’s different. She isn’t the same as the lunas who hang around the club. They’re easy and I like to play with my food.

Kadence is something else. Something deeper and I’m just not sure what that means.

I pull out onto the road, heading back towards the shop. At some point I’ll have to tell Cole where we were. The rule is to never share that spot outside the three of us but it’s a silly rule we made up as kids. Cole would understand that…right?

Suddenly her hands on my body feel far away, the warmth from her touch disappears as the reality of letting someone other than Becca and Cole go to our spot sinks in. I’m not replacing Becca with Kadence and I’m not trying to plug the hole I have in my chest with her. There’s something else about her that makes me want to be around her, to not be the shell I have been.

The road curves around a bend, the treeline blanketing the road in a shroud of darkness. I know of a few turn-offs in this area. The club’s used them a few times for bonfires and switching off during runs.

Fuck. We have a meeting with Stokes tomorrow. It’s the last thing I want to do and if it’s up to me, I’ll do everything I can to get out from under Stokes’ hand. It’s not worth the money or the women that flood in and out of the clubhouse.

I love Cole, love him like a brother, and will do anything for him but the deeper we get in with Stokes, the more I worry we won’t be able to get out. Cole always says the club needs help. Needs to stay on the good side of law enforcement in town. To an extent, I agree. The Deputies usually leave us alone, but lately it’s been one thing after another. Members getting tracked down at the county line, searched and provoked. It’s getting bad and our runs are getting shorter and more dangerous. I want out of the deal with Stokes. I just need to find a way to get us out before telling Cole.

The lights from the town flicker in front of us. The neon red sign for Lee’s Diner acts as a beacon to me in the night until the sound of a siren whoops behind us. I glance into my side mirror, seeing flashing red and blue lights dancing behind us. I grip the handlebars, knuckles turning white. I know that car. I also know that I hadn’t done anything that would warrant pulling me over.

The thought crosses my mind to keep going, my bike is a hell of a lot faster than the sedan. If I had been alone, I would have done it, but with Kadence riding behind me, I pull over to the shoulder. It’s too reckless, something I’m not willing to put her at risk for.

Her hands move from my abdomen as I kick down the stand and shut the bike off. I know the routine. This isn’t new for me. Anger kicks at my chest as I peer back, watching Watson step out of the cop car.

“What’s wrong?” Kadence’s voice cuts through the night air.

I shake my head, “Not sure,” my hand slides behind me, finding her thigh and squeezing gently, “It’s gonna be fine.”

“Nash!” Watson steps alongside us. “Off the bike.”

“What do you want, Watson?” I ask, keeping my eyes straight ahead.

Watson plants himself in front of the two of us. Beady eyes flicker from me to Kadence, narrowing for a moment as if he recognizes her.

“Nice to see you again, Ma’am,” Watson coos like they’re best friends.

I feel her hand grip the back of my vest, tugging herself closer to me, and the anger in my chest begins to grow. I know how Watson is with women. Sure, I use them for my own pleasure, but I at least treat them with respect. Watson is a creep. More than once I’ve heard whispers from the girls about the offhand comments and sly remarks he’s made to them. The man makes my skin crawl.

“Did we do something wrong, Officer?” I hear her ask. I don’t miss the shakiness in her voice.

Watson’s smug grin spreads across his face as he glances back over at me. “I said off the bike, Nash. You too, sweetheart.” He points a long finger at Kadence, turning it to make a come hither motion as he steps back.

I growl at the nickname. He has no fucking right to call her that and I can feel her shrink behind me with the words. Everything about this feels off and I know she can feel it too. I turn back to her, forcing the most reassuring smile I can. “It’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her green eyes stare at me for a moment, her brows knitting together with a small shake of her head. I can see the fear in her eyes.

“I’ve got you,” I whisper.

She brings her bottom lip between her teeth before giving me a soft nod. I help her off, catching the way Watson stares at her ass as she swings her leg over the back wheel. She slips the helmet off her head, sets it on her seat, and turns back towards Watson. Her hands fist at her sides. Even from this distance, I can feel the anxiety that radiates off of her. I follow suit, swinging my leg over the bike and digging my boots into the dirt next to her.

Watson rests his hands on his tac-belt, the palm of his right hand resting on the butt of his gun. A not-so-friendly reminder that I’m still a criminal and a shit attempt at proving his power. I can't help the smirk that forms on my face.

“What’s funny, Nash?” Watson taunts, sucking on his teeth. “When was the last time you checked in with your parole officer?” He asks, glancing up and down the street.

Kadence quickly glances up at me. I can feel her gaze bore into me but I stare straight ahead. I’ll have to tackle that later. Right now I’m more worried about anything else Watson might say.

“Last week,” I answer.

Watson nods his head, humming as he looks back at me. “Well, since you are a parolee, I’m going to need to search you…and her.” His eyes trail back over to Kadence, his head cocking to the side as they roam her body.

It’s then I contemplate murder again. Only this time it won’t be an accident.

“You’re not searching her. Search me and the bike, Watson, you have no reason to search her and you know it.” I take a step forward as I speak, holding out my arms for him and moving to the right to stand in front of her. Forcing his rat-like gaze towards me instead of Kadence.

Watson laughs, shaking his head. “Good thing you’re on that side of the law. She’s with you tonight and with that fake name she gave me, I’m curious to know more about her.” He peers over my shoulder. “It's a fake name, isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

“Call her sweetheart one more time…” This time I step forward, putting myself nose to nose with Watson. What the fuck did he mean by fake name?

“Or you’ll what?” Watson chortles. “You hit me and it’s back to Stockton for you, big boy.”

I drag my tongue over my bottom lip, the corners of my mouth upturning. “Imagine what that would do to business,” I whisper, low enough that only he hears me. “Face it, Watson, this arrangement only works with me in it.”

“Be that as it may, Nash, Stokes wouldn’t give two fucks if you ended up back in prison…” that smug smile returns, “or like your sister.”

I feel my jaw tick and my teeth grind together as my hands fist at my side. Becca’s death was ruled an accident. My glare narrows in on Watson and I can’t tell if he’s speaking truth or fucking with me.

“What the fuck did you do to her?”

“Nothing that wasn’t deserved.”

I growl, and before I can control myself, my hands twist into Watson’s beige uniform, the two of us stumbling as we grapple with each other. “She didn’t fucking deserve to end up in a ditch, you asshole,” I rasp, the air in my chest depleting. “What did you do!?”

“Holden!” Kadence yelps from behind us, I can hear her boots crunch in the dirt and gravel.

“Stay put!” I yell, the crunch stopping behind me.

Watson seethes. “You better listen to your whore, she just might save your life.”

“Holden, let him go!”

My chest heaves trying to force the air back into my lungs. My vision blurs slightly as tears sting the corners of my eyes. Becca didn’t deserve anything that happened to her that night. Stokes had done me the great service of showboating the forensic photos during my interrogation because why wouldn’t a convicted felon biker kill his own sister, right?

Those images will never leave my mind and now they’re flooding back in to the point I can’t stop. My body suddenly twists by my wrist as he drags me over and shoves me against the hood of his cop car. Watson grabs my other arm and twists it to restrain me. I feel the cuffs click into place and let my forehead rest against the metal of the car. Shit.

“I fucking warned you, Nash.” Watson steps back, letting me spin around and lean against the cab of the sedan. I watch as he pulls out his phone to call whoever else was going to witness this shit.

I roll my head over to Kadence. God, she looks so fuckin scared. I hate it. She stares at me, gnawing on her bottom lip and her face pale. How am I supposed to explain this shit?

“Kade,” I murmur, standing myself up straight, “baby.”

Her glare catches me, green eyes shooting daggers in my direction. I don’t blame her. I deserve worse than just daggers.

“Don’t baby me,” she bites, so quiet that I almost don’t hear it. “Why didn’t you just listen?” Her voice breaks into a plea.

I feel a pang in my chest as I stare at her for a moment before dropping my head. What a fucking way to end the night.

She lets out a sigh, walking over to me as her eyes flicker between me and Watson’s back. Whoever he has on the phone is occupying him long enough for her to step up to me. Her hand lands on my chest, pausing there for a moment before resting on my cheek.

Her head dips down to catch my gaze. “What was that about?” She whispers, feeling me lean into her touch.

I search her eyes and still find the terror I’ve seen before but there’s something else hidden behind it. Something stronger as she waits for my answer.

“I can’t tell you right now,” I admit. As much as I want to, I need time to explain, and being handcuffed with Watson six feet away is not the time. Her brows knit together. “I will, Kadence, I promise you I will explain, but I can’t right now.”

I don’t recognize the plea in my own voice but I know that I’ll tell her. Kadence is the one woman I don’t want to lie to. So I’ll tell her. Tonight, if she’ll let me explain.

“Hey!” Watson screeches. “Back away from him!”

“He’s handcuffed, you idiot, what’s he going to do?” Kadence snaps, her hand falling from my face. Her patience with the evening is clearly gone.

“Watch it Kadence, or you’ll end up cuffed like him.” Watson rounds the back of the sedan. “Matter of fact, what is your real name?”

“Kadence,” she bites.

Watson’s right palm finds the butt of his gun again. “Last name?”

“Andrews,” she bites again, this time her arms cross over her chest as she steps back into my right side.

Watson claps his hands together. “Well! Look at that! We’ll see if that’s real or not.”

“You’ll find it is,” She retorts.

A swell of pride bubbles in my chest hearing her stand up against him. I know fear creeps below her surface, but I also know she’s much stronger than she seems.

He laughs, shaking his head. “Well we will see but if I find out it’s a fake name again, I’ll be paying a visit to O’Neil’s shop.”

His eyes land on me again. “Stokes wants you present for the meeting tomorrow. He’s granting you freedom for the night.” Watson steps up. “I suggest you take advantage of that,” his glare flickers to Kadence, “before you end up in a hole.”

I clench my jaw again, spinning so that Watson can undo the handcuffs. Feeling them unlock from around my wrists I turn again, reaching out for Kadence behind me. “I told you to watch the way you talk about her.” I feel her fingers lace into mine. “Watch your back when you're off duty, Deputy.”

“I suggest you quit while you’re ahead, Nash, and take Ms. Andrews home.” Watson leans against the hood of his car, arms crossing over his chest. “Drive safe now,” he says, sounding more like a threat than anything else.

I feel Kadence tug on my hand. “Holden, please, let's go.”

I take a few steps backward, waving my fingers at Watson before turning and helping her back onto the bike. I slip the helmet over the top of her head, buckling it before climbing on in front of her.