7. Dylan

Chapter 7

Dylan

W hat in the hell am I supposed to say? How did I get here?

One minute, I'm screaming at my mom for being a close-minded tyrant, and the next, Matthew is in my room confessing his feelings.

I already have not one, but two boyfriends, and now he... what? Wants to join them? Wants me to choose him over them?

My mind's racing. How did everything become such a mess? I glance at Matthew, his face serious and pleading, and it hits me how absurd this entire situation is. My life was complicated enough with just Jacob and Ford. Now this?

"I don't know what you want me to say." I shake my head, trying to make sense of the situation. My voice comes out shakier than I intend.

"The truth. I want to know if I've completely lost my fucking mind or if you have feelings, too."

Feelings? I barely have time to process my own right now. I take a bite of my sandwich, chewing slowly, trying to ground myself in the simple act of eating. "Matthew, you've been nothing but a fucking dick since I moved in. Now, all of a sudden, you have feelings for me after one kiss? You have to realize how insane that sounds." I cross my arms, feeling a mix of anger and confusion. My mind replays every snide remark, every dismissive glance he's thrown my way since we moved in. Is this real, or some twisted joke?

He closes his eyes and blows out a breath, running a hand through his hair. I swallow, the taste of turkey and mustard turning bitter in my mouth.

"I admit I judged you based on your mom. At that first dinner, you said you loved lacrosse, and I assumed you liked lacrosse guys." He pauses, looking down at the floor. "Then you start bringing around two players, and I was jealous."

Jealous? The word echoes in my mind. "Jealous?" I whisper, my heart rate picking up as I absentmindedly take another bite of my sandwich.

"Yes. Jealous. I saw you with them."

"Ford said you watched." I can feel my cheeks heat up as the memory of him telling me surfaces. The sandwich tastes like cardboard now, but I force myself to keep eating, trying to stay calm.

"Asshole," Matthew hisses.

"He's not an asshole," I snap, ready to defend both my guys no matter what. I shove the last piece of my sandwich into my mouth, not even tasting it anymore.

"He saw me… watching. I was hoping he wouldn't tell you. Makes me sound fucking creepy. Like some pervy peeping Tom."

"Matthew, this is a lot. I-I-I'd be lying if I said there wasn't something. I kissed you back. But I'm with Jacob and Ford. We're committed to each other, and I won't do anything to jeopardize that. Not to mention our parents are getting married. Now, let's add that my mother is a bitch and is refusing to help with college. This is just too much." I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of everything crashing down on me. I wipe my fingers on my bedspread and fling the crumbs to the floor. How did my life become such a tangled mess?

"Your mom is a cunt." His bluntness makes me giggle despite myself. It's a harsh truth, but it's the truth, nonetheless. She's obsessed with this prim and proper image, and I don't know where it came from or what happened because she used to be way more relaxed.

"She wasn't always like this. It started getting bad a few years ago. Now she's a full-blown psycho helicopter parent, and only worried about how others perceive me. It's exhausting." I roll my eyes, feeling frustrated and sad.

When did my relationship with my mom become so strained? I can't even pinpoint the exact moment everything shifted.

"Downstairs, she told my dad something about what happened at your last school. Your reputation being tainted?" Matthew's words make my stomach roll, and I think I might be sick. He can't mean...

She didn't know. Doesn't know. Does she?

Matthew can't know about that. I haven't even told Jacob and Ford.

"I don't know what she'd be talking about. We moved because of the divorce and my aunt is here."

"I'm just saying what she said. It was very strange and secretive." He holds up his hands in surrender.

"That's Holly for ya." I shrug, trying to play it cool. Inside, I'm screaming. What did my mom say? How much does Matthew know?

"I hope she comes around about CSU. The coach there is interested in you, Ford, and Jacob."

"No fucking way!" I squeal, feeling a surge of excitement. My dream could be coming true, and I can get out of this town and away from my mom. Lacrosse has always been my escape, my passion.

"Don't get too excited. He was interested in Murphy. I have to let him know that Murphy is a female and not a male. Not really sure what's gonna happen when I do."

"Oh." My excitement deflates a little, but I try to stay hopeful. There's always a catch, isn't there? Nothing ever comes easy.

"There's no rule about females on the men's team at CSU, either. But I have to be upfront. It's my job."

I can't handle this right now. If CSU doesn't take me on a scholarship, how will I go to school? I could apply for financial aid or a loan, but I'm pretty sure I have to give them my parents' tax information and my mom is not going to just hand that out.

"I have a lot to think about, and I need a moment to breathe and some space to process everything. So if you could, please go." I say as I nod toward the door.

"Dylan..." He stands and hesitates for a moment, but turns and leaves. I watch his back as he goes, shutting the door.

I fall back on my bed, letting my arms fan out and sigh.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" I ask outloud, staring at the ceiling.

I've been hit with so much since Saturday. How did everything spiral out of control so quickly? One minute, I'm just trying to make the boys' lacrosse team, and the next, my life is a soap opera.

Getting up, I take off my clothes and climb under the sheet in just my panties. Tomorrow, I'll start to weed through the mess that is my life. For now, I just want to sleep, maybe in my dreams I'll find some semblance of peace.

Lying there in the dark, I try to calm my racing thoughts. The room is quiet, save for the occasional creak of the house settling. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, trying to ground myself.

I think back to the moment Matthew kissed me. It was so unexpected, so out of the blue. My initial reaction was shock, but there was something else there, too. Something I haven't fully processed. His lips were warm and soft, and for a split second, I allowed myself to feel something. But what was it? Attraction? Curiosity? Or just the thrill?

My thoughts drift to Jacob and Ford. They've been my rocks, my constants. Jacob, with his steady, dependable nature, always knowing how to make me laugh. Ford, with his wild spirit and adventurous heart, pushing me to be more than I ever thought I could be. They balance each other out perfectly, and together, they make me feel whole. How could I ever mess with that?

And then there's Matthew. Annoying, judgmental, but undeniably attractive. I never allowed myself to consider him as anything more than an asshole. But now? Now I have to confront the fact that there's something there. Something real. How can I navigate this new realization without hurting the people I care about?

Ford and Jacob know about Matthew's feelings, and obviously, they saw the kiss. But that doesn't mean they're ready to share with someone else. Share me with my future stepbrother.

What about what he said about my mom? What does she know? She was so angry and frustrated earlier. It's a stark contrast to the woman she used to be. When did she become so obsessed with appearances? So controlling and harsh? It's like she's living in this bubble of her own making, completely disconnected from reality.

She used to be fun, carefree, someone I could talk to about anything. But now, every interaction feels like a battle. She's so focused on how others perceive us that she's forgotten what really matters. The love, the support, the understanding. It's exhausting trying to live up to her impossible standards.

Then there's the matter of my old school. What did she tell Matthew's dad? What dark secrets from my past is she threatening to unveil? My stomach churns at the thought. I can't let Matthew know. I can't let anyone know. That part of my life is buried for a reason, and I intend to keep it that way.

As I lie there, the weight of everything presses down on me. It's all too much. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes, but I blink them away. Crying won't solve anything. I need to be strong. I need to figure this out.

Eventually, exhaustion takes over, and I drift off to sleep.