Chapter Five WILLOW

By the time it’s lunch period, I’ve already filled Iris in on Alana joining us, and she’s all fired up.

“I have a few questions for her myself,” she mutters as we enter the dining hall. “Though she probably won’t like what I have to say.”

“Please don’t start a fight.” Iris’s personality default is fiery and she’s always ready to argue at a moment’s notice while I avoid confrontation.

“I don’t want to fight with her. I just want to ask her why she avoided me most of the summer, especially after we spent so much time together during school. It was rude.” I know Alana’s disappearance hurt Iris’s feelings too.

We both get in line for the salad bar, Iris ahead of me.

“It was totally rude,” I agree, validating her feelings. “But maybe there were other things going on in her life.”

I’m all for trying to figure out why someone behaves the way they do. Sometimes it’s nothing personal. They’ve got their own problems they’re trying to deal with and it affects their relationships. Friendships. Whatever.

“I sent her texts, Willow. Multiple times. Or I’d send her funny TikToks like we always used to do, and when summer first started, she’d respond, but eventually, she ignored me.” Iris tosses lettuce into her empty bowl like she’s mad at it.

“Well, please don’t attack her. We don’t know what was going on in her life. Let her explain herself first.”

Iris shakes her head. “I don’t know how you can be so calm about it. It’s obvious why she avoided us—she was too busy with Silas. Meaning, she did you dirty, hooking up with him. They’re a bona fide couple you know. Bronwyn told me.”

“Who’s Bronwyn?” I’ve never heard Iris mention that name before.

“Oh, we became friends last year. She’s a junior. Really sweet. She has Spanish with Alana during second period and she asked her about Silas. Alana basically told her everything,” Iris explains, her tone casual.

I remain quiet, my mind turning over what my cousin said. I want every stupid detail about Alana and Silas, but then if I ask for all of those details, I’ll look like I care. And I don’t.

Not really.

Okay, I care a little bit but only because I’m curious. I think anyone in my position would feel that way, right?

By the time we find a table to sit, I feel like I’m going to burst. I can’t take it any longer.

“What exactly did Bronwyn tell you about Alana and Silas?” I tap the edge of my salad bowl with my fork, my stomach twisted up in knots over what she might reveal.

So stupid, but I can’t help myself.

“That they got together at the beginning of summer, right after school ended. Silas supposedly approached her, but I don’t know if I believe that. According to Alana, they’ve been inseparable ever since.” Iris stabs at the lettuce, gathering up as much as she can on her fork before she shoves it into her mouth.

“Since the end of junior year then,” I say, my voice soft, my brain calculating how many months that is. It’s simple math—three months, give or take.

“They’re serious. That’s what Alana told Bronwyn,” Iris says after she swallows. “She could tell that Alana was all gaga and in love. Like, barf, right?”

“Right.” My voice is distant, my lunch forgotten as I spot Silas and Alana together in line to scan their meal cards for their lunches.

If Alana brings him over to our table, I don’t know what I’ll do. It was weird enough what he said to me during English. Warning me off Rhett Bennett, which was odd. What does he care who I’m talking to?

It shouldn’t matter to him. I shouldn’t matter to him.

They part ways once he drops a kiss on her cheek and Alana’s striding toward us, an overly bright smile on her face as she sets her tray onto the table and pulls a chair out, plopping into it. “Hey, guys!”

Her enthusiastic voice grates and I put on my best smile, though it feels more like I’m baring my teeth. It’s not even close to genuine either. “Hi, Alana.”

Iris says nothing and I have to kick her under the table to get her to respond. “Oh.” She sniffs. “Hi.”

A sigh leaves Alana and she slumps in her chair. “I know you’re mad at me, Iris.”

“You do? Then why didn’t you text me like two months ago, hmmm?”

Here we go, Iris starting a fight when I asked her not to. I push my salad bowl away, knowing I’m going to be starving later, but I can’t eat. Not right now.

“I don’t know. I guess I just got—caught up in Silas. If you were in a relationship, you’d understand.” Alana shrugs, and I can tell she feels superior to us because she has a boyfriend. That’s so lame. “I’m sorry. It wasn’t very nice of me to ignore you.”

The surprise on Iris’s face is obvious. I’m sure she wasn’t expecting an apology so quickly. “You’re right. It wasn’t.”

“I know. And like I just said, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Alana’s expression is contrite as her gaze shifts to mine. “I’m sorry I didn’t reach out to you either, Willow.”

“It’s okay.” I shrug, wincing when I feel Iris’s loafer kick into my ankle.

I glance over at Iris to see her glaring at me, most likely for saying it’s okay so quickly. I’m too forgiving, according to her, and I’m sure she’s right. But I can’t help myself.

“It’s not just that.” Alana presses her lips together for a second before she says, “I should’ve warned you I was dating Silas.”

The sentence just sits in between the three of us like a bomb about to detonate. I don’t say anything and neither does Iris. Neither does Alana. We’re silent for so long I can tell Iris can’t take it any longer.

“It’s serious between the two of you, then?” Her tone is downright hostile. All on my behalf, I might add.

“Um, yeah.” Her cheeks turn pink. “I think I’m in love with him.”

Ouch. Like a stab to my heart. Not that I know what being in love with someone feels like, but the crush I was nursing for Silas throughout our sophomore year was pretty intense.

“And he’s in love with you?” Now Iris sounds like she’s full of disbelief.

“Well … yeah.” Alana glances around before she leans over the table, her voice lowering. “We’ve already done it. Like, a lot.”

“Done what?” I ask, blinking at her. Playing dumb on purpose.

“Seriously, Willow?” Iris nudges my foot with hers again and I shift away from her, not wanting to get bruised. “She means they’ve had sex.”

“Oh my God, I know, Iris. I was just teasing.” My gaze finds Alana and her expression is nothing short of concerned. “I’m happy for you.”

“Happy that they’re having sex?” Iris asks, sounding incredulous.

I send her a measured look before I turn my attention to Alana. “That the two of you are together and in love. You deserve it.”

“Are you sure?” Alana winces, and I realize in this moment that she’s known exactly what she’s done from the start. It didn’t matter that I liked Silas first. I wasn’t around last year so she was going to go for it. “I know you crushed on him big time. Like since we started high school.”

I laugh but it sounds false so I stop. “It wasn’t for that long.”

“Only sophomore year,” Iris adds.

Now it’s my turn to kick her, making her grunt in pain.

Good.

“The whole year though,” Alana says, and she’s right because we were hanging out together all the time. She would know and remember all of that, I’m sure. “And he never did a thing about it.”

I’m frowning, a hint of anger rising inside of me but I tamp it down. “What exactly are you implying?”

“Yeah, what are you trying to say, Alana? Because if you ask me, it sounds like you’re being kind of shitty right now.” Iris sends her a hard glare and in this very moment, I love my cousin more than anyone else I know.

No one else has my back like Iris does.

“Oh, I don’t mean to be shitty at all!” Alana rests her hand on her chest, her eyes wide. Like she’s innocent, but I don’t know.

Iris is right. She’s being a little gross.

“It’s just that if Silas actually liked you, Willow, he would’ve done something about it, right? Because that’s what he did with me.” That overly bright smile is on Alana’s face again and I sort of want to smack it off.

And I’m not one to resort to violence. I leave that to other members of my family. Like Iris. Both of her brothers. My little brother, who can have a nasty temper sometimes.

“Are you trying to tell us that you’re oh-so-special and we’re not? Because seriously, what’s so special about Silas?” I ask, my tone vaguely snotty.

I clamp my lips together, dropping my gaze to the tabletop for a brief moment. I shocked myself by saying all that. And I can feel Iris’s amusement. I’m surprised she’s not blatantly laughing.

Alana’s eyes narrow and I know I pushed her too far, but I couldn’t help myself. “Why don’t you tell me since you wanted him so badly for the last two years of your life.”

My jaw drops. Did she really just say that?

“Okay, this is getting hostile, Alana, and I thought you were our friend.” Iris stresses that last word extra hard. “Maybe you should take your petty ass away from this table and leave.”

Alana jumps to her feet, her hard gaze sweeping over the both of us. “I knew I was better off staying away from you two. You’re nothing but a guard dog, Iris. Always watching out for your weak cousin and, Willow, why don’t you grow a pair for once in your life and actually form a personality? You’re boring.”

With that, she grabs her lunch tray and marches off. Heading straight for Silas, no doubt.

“Did you hear her just now? What the hell? A guard dog? I mean, I don’t even think that’s an actual insult but whatever.” Iris resumes eating her salad, the fork action still vaguely stabby and violent. “What a bitch.”

Alana’s words run through my head on a continuous loop. According to her …

I’m weak.

I have no personality.

I’m boring.

“Do you think I’m boring?” I whisper.

Iris’s expression turns incredulous, her fork clattering in the now mostly empty bowl. “Boring? Absolutely not. You’re one of the most interesting people I know.”

She’s just saying that. She has to say that because she is my cousin. We’re blood. Practically sisters.

“Uh huh.” I push my salad bowl farther away from me, until it’s practically in the center of the table. “I hate everything she just said.”

“She’s a bitch,” Iris says vehemently. “And she knows just how to get under your skin because we’ve been friends with her for so long.”

“Alana wasn’t that mean toward you. She only called you a guard dog,” I point out.

“Because her real beef is with you.”

“I don’t fight with anyone.”

“Don’t be dense, Willow. This is about Silas. I’m guessing the only reason she’s acting that way toward you is because for whatever reason, she’s insecure about her stupid relationship with him and wants to keep you away from him. Talk about boring.” Iris actually snorts, slouching in her chair and crossing her arms in front of her. “They deserve each other because they’re both so pathetic.”

“I appreciate you standing up for me all the time,” I say, my voice still soft, my thoughts all over the place.

Iris watches me and I know she can tell I’m stressing out. “Don’t let what she said bother you. Seriously. I didn’t know being in a relationship would turn her into such a witch.”

“She’s awful,” I agree, grabbing my backpack before I stand. “I think I’m going to go to the library.”

Iris sits up straight, but I see the misery on her face. She’s not a fan of the library or books, which I don’t really get. “You want me to go with you?”

I can tell by her tone that she doesn’t want to go, but she’ll do it for me. And I’m realizing she does a lot for me. After being on my own for almost a year in a foreign country, I come back to Lancaster Prep and fall right back into my old habits. They probably weren’t such great habits either. Maybe Alana is right. I need to learn how to stand on my own two feet.

“I think I need some alone time.” I offer Iris a reassuring smile. “But thanks.”

“Don’t dwell too much on what she said. I mean it, Willow. She was just trying to be mean, and look—it worked.”

“Okay, sure.” I walk away before she can say anything else, gripping the strap of my backpack extra tight as I exit the dining hall.

First day of school and I’m already miserable, which was not what I expected. I figured I’d be welcomed back with open arms. Everything would be the same, and Iris and I would be on top of the world. Living our best lives as seniors—finally.

I’ve been waiting for this moment since I started high school, and instead it’s all different. I’ve lost a friend—and she stole the guy I had a crush on, which she knew.

Meaning, she knew what she was doing. Alana probably went after Silas on purpose. And if that isn’t the bitchiest thing ever …

“Hey, Willy!”

I come to a stop at the familiar male voice, pausing in the middle of the walkway, waiting for that same voice to say something else. He doesn’t disappoint.

“Where you going in such a hurry? Lunch barely started.”

My eyes fall closed for a hot second and I count quickly to five before I open them and slowly turn around to face who’s questioning me.

It’s Rhett. Sitting on top of one of the picnic benches that are in the quad just outside the dining hall, a big grin on his handsome face. He’s shed the uniform jacket, clad in only the white button up and he’s got the sleeves rolled up. Revealing tanned, strong forearms dusted with golden brown hair.

I stare at those stupidly attractive arms for a moment too long and when I finally lift my gaze to his, I see the smirk on his face. Like he knows what I’m doing.

How embarrassing.

“Never call me Willy again,” I tell him, my voice flat. Realizing I sound rude and I just dealt with someone who said awful things to me, I immediately gentle my tone. “Please.”

His smile doesn’t slip whatsoever. “Isn’t that your name?”

“No one calls me Willy.” I hesitate. “Like ever.”

“Why not? I think it’s kind of cute.” His tone turns flirtatious and I almost roll my eyes. “Though your full name is cute too. Willow.”

My heart squeezes at hearing him say my name and I tell myself I’m being ridiculous. This boy is nothing like the type I’m usually attracted to.

“Willow is such a long name though,” he continues, and I brace myself for insults. How is Willow too long? Just because his name is only one syllable, what? He can’t handle two? “I think I’m gonna call you Will.”

I wrinkle my nose. “That’s a man’s nickname.”

“There is nothing manly about you at all, Will. Trust me,” he drawls.

My skin tingles at the way he’s looking at me, his gaze roaming everywhere. All over me. “No one has ever called me that before in my life.”

“Really?” He sounds surprised. “Well, I guess it’s my special nickname just for you, then. And I don’t do that for just anyone.”

“He doesn’t,” says the guy sitting next to him. It’s Brooks Crosby. I’ve gone to school with him for what feels like my entire life. He’s just always there in the background, and he’s perfectly nice. “This is kind of a big deal.”

Rhett slaps him in the shoulder. “Don’t tell her that. She’ll get a big head.”

“No, I definitely won’t.” I smile and I wonder what in the world I’m doing flirting with this boy.

“Being a Lancaster and looking like you do, you don’t have a big ego, Will? Really?” He sounds like he finds that hard to believe.

“Looking like what?” I ask, my voice faint. Is he complimenting me? Am I so pathetic I need to hear him praise me further?

Yes. Right now, with the verbal beating I just took, thanks to Alana, I definitely do.