Chapter Fifty WILLOW

I will my body to relax as I feel Rhett enter me for the first time. Closing my eyes, I breathe deep, wincing as he slowly pushes inside, pressing my lips together when I feel the pinch and sting. I’ve never felt so full, so connected to another human being before and when I shift my hips, it only sends him deeper, making him groan.

He presses his forehead against mine, like he’s trying to regain some control, and I wait for him, allowing myself to get used to the sensation of him being inside me. It’s odd and wondrous and amazing and awkward, all at once.

“I need to take this slow,” he bites out. “I don’t want to come too fast.”

I frown, settling my hands at the back of his neck, toying with the curling damp hair there. His entire body is covered with a thin sheen of sweat. “Could you come right now?”

He nods. “Don’t want to.”

“But you could.”

“Yeah,” he grits out. “And if we keep talking about it, I will.”

I kiss him, silencing us both, silencing the thoughts running through my brain as well. The worry and the nerves and the fear of this being extremely painful. It’s not that bad. Not at all. Especially with how careful he’s being, which I appreciate.

Once he’s gained some control, he begins to move, pulling almost all the way out before he pushes back in. I shift my position on the mattress, again sending him deeper, and I rest my hands on his shoulders, clinging to him. Watching him. His eyes are closed but he has this look of pure determination on his face. Like he’s concentrating so hard, trying to make this good. For me?

I assume so. He’s so thoughtful. Putting me first.

Testing it out, I curl my leg around his, making him groan. Press my foot into the back of his calf, marveling at how hard it is. He is nothing but solid muscle and I love the weight of him on top of me. I slide my leg up, hooking it around his hip, and oh that position change is good. Like he’s touching some part of me deep inside that I’ve never experienced before.

I want him to do it again.

Eventually I have both of my legs around his waist and he’s moving faster. I flex my hips, trying to send him deeper and every time I do it, he groans, our foreheads pressed together just before his mouth finds mine. The kiss is wild, completely out of control, and when he reaches in between us, his fingers finding my clit, I’m flying.

Coming.

My inner walls contract, milking him, and with a strangled groan he bucks against me, his body going tense right before he falls completely apart. He’s coming, thrusting once. Twice. Three times before he collapses on top of me, a panting, shuddering mess.

My heart races scarily fast and I close my eyes, stroking his hair. Running my fingers over his shoulders as he lies extraordinarily still on me. I try to sooth him, noting how he shivers when I stroke my fingernails across his skin so I keep doing it, knowing that he likes it.

“Are you okay?” I ask him, still stroking his back.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that?” He lifts away from me so he can look into my eyes.

I stare up at him, a little shocked that we actually just did what we did. I had sex with Rhett Bennett. And it was amazing. I’ve always heard first time horror stories but that wasn’t terrible. Not even close.

“I’m definitely okay.” I smile and stretch beneath him. “It only hurt a little bit.”

He’s studying me, slowly shaking his head. “You amaze me, you know that?”

“I do?” My smile fades. “How?”

“There is no one else like you, Will. You surprise me constantly. I think you’re going to react one way and you never do. You go in the complete opposite direction every damn time. Not that I’m complaining.” He kisses me, his lips soft and oh so sweet. “You are a constant contradiction and you keep me on my toes.”

“And you like that?” I sink into his kiss, my body reacting almost immediately but he ends it too soon.

“I love it.” He gives me a quick kiss on the lips. “I … I’m in love with you.”

I’m stunned silent by his declaration. Did he really just say that?

Did he really just admit that he loves me?

“Did you hear what I just said, Will?” He’s sweating this. I can tell. And I immediately feel bad.

“I heard you.” Lifting my head, I brush his mouth with mine, touching his cheek while I stare into his beautiful hazel eyes. “I’m in love with you too.”

A variety of emotions crosses his face. Relief. Happiness. Even a hint of lust. His kiss turns fierce, and I can feel all of his feelings and more in his persuasive lips. “Think we’re moving too quickly.”

He doesn’t even ask it as a question.

“Probably.” I smile against his still seeking lips. “But I don’t care.

“I don’t either.” His expression is deadly serious when he pulls back and stares into my eyes. “I’ve always been told that when you know, you know.”

“My dad used to say that too,” I admit, letting all the love I’m feeling shine in my eyes, just for Rhett. “I wasn’t sure if I ever really believed it though. I wanted to, but as I got older, I started to doubt him.”

I blamed it on my unrequited crush on Silas. I realize now I was just focusing on the wrong person. The right one is here with me now. In my bed. And that feels like a very grown- up thought, but it’s true.

“I didn’t really believe it either,” Rhett admits. “But I do now.”

I smile at him, my heart squeezing. “I do too.”

***

“You secretive little bitch,” Iris breathes when I open the door to her hours after Rhett snuck out of my dorm. “I know what you did.”

She barges into my room, walking right past me while I slowly close the door. I remember at one point when I was with Rhett, I smacked my hand over my mouth for fear someone—Iris—might hear me moan but then I sort of forgot myself.

I decide to play dumb.

“What are you talking about?” I blink at her, trying to keep a straight face.

“Oh please, you whore. I saw Rhett leave your room a few hours ago and you didn’t bother texting me. You didn’t call. You didn’t DM me, nothing. And I just know that you two did it.”

My mouth hangs open for a moment before I snap it shut. “Wait a second. Did he tell you that?”

“Ha!” She snaps her fingers and points at me. “Caught ya! I didn’t even speak to him but I didn’t have to. He was whistling when he left your room. Who whistles? Guys who just got laid do, that’s who.”

I’m slightly mortified but then again, I’m not because this is Iris that I’m dealing with. She would make this moment a big deal no matter what.

“Fine, you caught me.” I flop onto my bed, staring at the ceiling. I made the bed after he left but I swear I can still smell him on my sheets. The comforter. I did take a shower, though I did it with regret. I don’t know why, but I liked being able to smell him on my skin.

“Is that where it happened?” Iris flicks her fingers at me and the bed. “Are you currently lying in your own sex filth or did you at least wash the sheets?”

“I took a shower, but I didn’t wash the sheets or comforter. Meaning, I’m lying in my own sex filth and I can’t lie, I’m enjoying it.” I send her a withering stare. “Did you come over here to give me a hard time about this? Or did you actually need something?” “Look at you. You finally have sex and now you’re feisty.” Iris rests her hands on her hips, watching me. “Actually, I came over here to make sure you’re okay.”

Aw. “I’m more than okay.”

“Plus, I was curious and I wanted to ask how it was. Magical? Or terrible?”

I sit up, pushing my hair out of my face. “It was … magical.”

“Seriously?” Iris seems shocked, but pleased. “He knows what he’s doing then.”

“He does.” It’s like I can’t stop nodding. “He definitely does.”

“Brooks was pretty good too. The first time. Though we did plenty of other things before that.”

“Same.”

“Lucky bitch.” Iris is grinning.

“Right back at you.” I’m grinning too.

She joins me on the bed, her butt perched on the edge of the mattress as she slips her arm around my shoulders. “My little girl is growing up.”

“Oh my God.” I groan, but I rest my head against hers, glad that she came over. I like that we’re talking about it, but she’s not pushing for too many details. And while it feels like so much is changing for all of us, I still have her. My cousin. My best friend.

“We’ll have to go on a double date sometime,” Iris suggests. “The homecoming dance is coming up soon.”

“Homecoming dance?” I’m already groaning. Yet another change. “We never had one of those before.”

“Right, because this school was lame. But we had one last year and we had so much fun. Nominees will be announced soon.”

“Seriously? Like for queen and king?” I knew this was a thing at high schools all over the United States but we’ve never done it at Lancaster Prep.

“Yes. And then there are princes and princesses for the other classes. Your man is a shoo-in for king this year. I wonder if that means you’ll be nominated too.” Her smile is sly when she glances down at me. “Guess I’ll be campaigning against you.”

“Will you be nominated too?”

“Of course, I will. We’re Lancasters, darling. We rule the school.”

We both laugh and cling to each other, then sit in silence for a moment. I can’t help but think of Rhett, and wonder what he’s doing right now. Is he thinking about me?

I hope so.

“He told me that he’s in love with me,” I admit, my voice soft.

Iris shifts, and I pull away from her so we can face each other. “Oh my God. What did you say to him?”

“I told him that I loved him too.”

“Seriously?” Her voice is a squeak. “Do you think you actually love him?”

I nod. “I know I do.”

“But it’s so soon …” Iris shakes her head. “I haven’t even told Brooks I love him yet.”

“Has he ever said it to you?”

“No, and I don’t expect him to.” She peers into my eyes, like she’s trying to figure me out. “How do you know that you’re in love with Rhett? What does it feel like, to be in love?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to describe.” I shrug. “It’s just … it’s a feeling. One that’s something I can’t contain. It’s overwhelming, but not in a bad way. He’s all I can think about. Like, it’s almost obsessive, how much I think about him. And he truly seems to feel the same way about me. I’m pretty sure he’s just as obsessed with me as I am with him, and that’s such a great feeling, you know? I don’t feel like I’m alone or wasting my time.”

It made the moment we shared earlier that much more special too, knowing that we’re in love with each other.

“You mean it, don’t you?” Iris sounds truly surprised. “You’re in love with him.”

“I’m in love with him,” I say firmly. “I’m in love with Rhett Bennett.”

My phone buzzes in the pocket of my sweatpants and I pull it out to see I have a text.

Rhett: I miss you.

Rhett: I wish we were together right now but I’m dealing with Brooks and his lazy ass. He says hi.

Rhett: I love you.

Rhett: Had the need to tell you that again. Feels more real when I see it actually written out.

Rhett: I love you Willow Lancaster.

Rhett: I hope I’m not scaring the shit out of you. I probably am huh?

I’m laughing, all of these texts coming at me, one after the other. I send him a quick reply.

Me: You don’t scare me.

“Who keeps texting you?” Iris asks.

“It’s Rhett. He’s with Brooks, who says hi.”

The mischievous look that appears on my cousin’s face tells me she’s scheming. “They should come over.”

“It’s so late though.” My protest is weak. I definitely want them to come over.

“Please. It’s not that late. Tell him to come over and bring Brooks with him.”

Me: I love you too, Rhett Bennett. Want to come over?

He responds immediately.

Rhett: I’ll be there in less than five.

Me: Bring Brooks with you. This is Iris’s only request.

Rhett: Will do.

He sends me the saluting emoji and I sigh with happiness.

I love him. And he loves me.

So much.