Chapter Thirty-Three WILLOW

Something came over me as I hurriedly prepared to meet with Rhett. All of the game playing and pretending that feelings aren’t actually there is exhausting. Look at poor Iris. She’s trying to play it cool in regards to Brooks—her mode of operation pretty much her entire life—and she’s miserable. Unsure. I don’t want that. I’ve dealt with enough uncertainty and misery when it comes to a particular boy—Silas. I vow that I never want to experience that again.

To give myself so freely, so openly to a boy without knowing how he feels about me in return? Sounds like absolute torture.

I couldn’t stand the thought of doing it again with Rhett. There is no need for me to play games with him. I like him. He’s pretty much admitted that he likes me too. What’s the harm in that?

Nothing.

This is why I’m being totally honest with him. Expressing my true feelings about him. I want Rhett to want me as badly as I want him. And I want him so much, my body aches with the need to be pressed against his. I want to absorb his warmth and strength. I want to feel his arms come around me and hold me tight. I want to kiss him until my mouth aches and my jaw is tired and then when it’s over, I want to do it all over again.

If Iris heard what I just said to him, she’d probably tell me I’m making a huge mistake. But I don’t think so. I think me confessing that I can’t stop thinking about him is just what Rhett wants to hear. Needs to hear.

“You haunt my every thought day and night.” He turns his head slightly, his mouth connecting with my cheek, and I suck in a harsh breath, tingles sweeping over me at the touch of his lips on my skin. They’re soft, and when he speaks, they tickle me. “I think about the two of us alone and I’m doing all kinds of things to you.

Self-conscious Willow would be too afraid to ask what sorts of things but …

“What do you want to do to me?” I slide my hands over his shoulders and around the back of his neck. Up into his hair, which is soft and silky and clings to my fingers. I remember touching his face last Friday night, how he invited me to do whatever I wanted.

“If I told you, you’d probably slap me.” His mouth hovers above mine. “All of my thoughts about you are dirty, princess.”

I like how he calls me that. “Tell me.”

He doesn’t tell me. He kisses me instead. His mouth settles on mine, that first electrifying touch sending a sizzle of awareness straight through me, settling between my thighs. I lean into him, my lips parting beneath his, his tongue sweeping in. Searching my mouth, twisting around mine.

The kiss turns heated in an instant. His mouth is greedy. Insistent. I respond to every stroke of his tongue, every groan that sounds deep in his chest when I scoot closer. When I touch him somewhere new. I don’t worry about what he might think or if I’m being too forward, or too much. I touch him where I want, slipping my fingers beneath his sweatshirt to touch the bare skin of his stomach. He’s hot and firm, and he groans when I curl my fingers around the waistband of his joggers, his hand immediately settling over mine. Halting my progress.

“You want me to stop?” I whisper into his mouth, grabbing his lower lip between both of mine and giving it a tug.

“I want you to slow down.” His hand is gentle as it rests over mine, his teeth nipping at my lower lip in response to what I just did to him only a moment ago. “We’re not getting naked out here, Will.”

My entire body lights up at hearing him use the word naked. “Why not?”

“Anyone could find us.”

“No, they won’t. We’re lost.” And that sounds perfectly logical to me.

Rhett chuckles. “This is the first time we’ve kissed. I’m not taking it much farther than that.”

I pull away from him, disappointed. As if he can sense it, he gathers me back into his arms, holding me close, his mouth resting against my forehead.

“You need to learn patience,” he says, his deep voice making my skin break out in goosebumps all over. “It’ll all be worth the wait.”

“I don’t want to be patient,” I admit, my hands sneaking under his sweatshirt once more. I skim my fingers over his flat, muscular stomach, marveling at how hard he is. Not an ounce of fat anywhere to be found. “Take me back to your room.”

“Will.” He groans my name, his forehead pressed against mine once again. “You’re killing me.”

“You know you want to.” I take his hand and rest it on the side of my breast, shocking myself.

Shocking him too. I can feel it in the way he goes still, his fingers barely touching me, hovering there. I can sense it as he waits, like he’s afraid I’m trying to trick him and am about to push him away.

“I want you,” I tell him solemnly, staring into his eyes.

Within seconds, he’s on his feet, his hand clasped around mine as he jerks me off the bench. We take off running, moving through the maze, coming to the occasional dead end that makes me giggle while he moans with frustration.

“Get us out of here.” He growls at one point, which only makes me laugh harder.

I’m channeling my inner Iris in this moment. Free and reckless and not caring about anyone else but myself. Well, and Rhett of course.

We eventually emerge from the maze and I see the moon has shifted lower in the sky. Its light is so bright I can make out almost everything. Including the look on Rhett’s face as he stares at the towering house, his brows drawn together.

Does my family’s wealth intimidate him? He comes from money too, and fame. His parents were nice. Looking at his dad was like seeing Rhett in the future. He talks like him too. They have similar mannerisms. And his mother is beautiful. You can tell she loves both of her sons by the way she looks at them. How she says their names.

“If we get caught …” Rhett’s voice drifts and he turns to look at me. “Are you going to get in trouble?”

“My parents aren’t here.” I head for the steps that lead to the terrace, Rhett right behind me. “They’ll never find out.”

“What about Iris’s parents?”

“They’re asleep.” I glance toward one of the windows that I know is their bedroom and come to a stop when I see the golden light shining from within. “Maybe.”

Rhett looms behind me, his hand landing on my waist in a wholly possessive gesture. “We’ll have to be quiet when we go back inside.”

“I can do that.”

“I don’t remember where my room is.” I glance over at him, noting his sheepish expression. “This house is too damn big.”

“I know where it’s at.” Not too far from the room Rowan uses when he visits. Just down the corridor from Iris’s bedroom.

We creep back into the house, our footsteps light, our movements cautious. We practically run up the stairs. They’re sturdy and don’t creak at all since they were reinforced after the unfortunate accident that caused the death of Sylvia Lancaster.

I only relax when we’re in the bedroom corridor, waving at Rowan’s bedroom door as we pass by it. “Does any of this look familiar to you?”

“I’m down here. I left my door partially open on purpose.”

He finds the room quickly, pulling me inside and closing the door behind us, pressing me against it with his big body. I rest my hands on his chest, everything inside me going tight when I hear him turn the lock on the door.

“Will Iris wonder where you’re at?” he asks.

“She already knows,” I admit.

His smile is faint. “Can I tell you something in confidence?”

“Of course.”

“You can’t tell Iris.”

An inner war starts inside me. I’m loyal to Iris above anyone else, but now there’s Rhett asking for my confidence and I want to give it to him. I want him to trust me. “I won’t tell her.”

“Brooks will be here tomorrow morning.” Rhett leans in, his mouth at my temple. “I know those two are hot for each other.”

“They did it,” I whisper. “A couple of nights ago.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes, it’s true. He’s her first.” I snap my lips shut, worried I said too much.

“Will she be mad if he shows up?”

I’m not sure.

“No one can predict anything when it comes to Iris.”

I nod, glad that he gets it. “She’s hard to pin down.”

“I’ve realized that.” He brushes his mouth against mine, and I can’t help but sigh when he pulls away. “We’re in dangerous territory, Will.”

“What do you mean?” I’m frowning, confused by what he’s referring to.

“All alone in this bedroom. No adult supervision. Nothing but long, quiet hours stretching out ahead of us.” He’s smiling, his expression downright devilish. “We’ll probably get up to no good.”

“You promise?” That’s exactly what I want.

“I can definitely make that promise.” He cups my chin, tilting my head back, his mouth on mine once more and I lose myself in his kiss. The taste of his lips. The delicate yet incessant strokes of his tongue. I can’t get enough. I never want him to stop kissing me and it goes on for what feels like hours.

It’s both too much and not enough, and when we finally break apart to catch our breath, I say the first thing that comes to my mind. “We’ll have to keep this a secret.”

I feel his muscles stiffen beneath my hands and he slowly pulls away to study me. “Keep what a secret?”

His voice is careful, but I hear the unease there. My heart trips over itself and my brain scrambles to come up with a reason. I can’t tell him the truth.

Can I?

“Don’t you think it would be fun?” I try to lighten the mood. I think of Iris and her secret affair and how fun she claims it is to sneak around. “Besides, I have a reputation to uphold.”

He completely pulls away from me and I instantly miss his touch, his warmth. “What the hell is that supposed to mean? You don’t want to be seen with me? You don’t want people to know?”

Anxiety makes my thoughts turn into a jumble of nonsense. I’m handling this all wrong. “I just—everyone knows who Willow Lancaster is. And that she’s a good girl—that’s my reputation. The teachers, the staff, pretty much every student on that campus—that’s how they think of me.”

“And what? I’m a bad boy who’ll dirty up your pristine reputation? Are you saying I’m beneath you?” Oh, he sounds angry.

“No! Not at all.” I rush toward him, but he deviates to the side at the last second, escaping my touch. I watch as he makes his way to the other side of the room, propping his shoulder against the wall and curling his arms in front of him. His defenses are totally up. It’s just …

“Use your words, princess. Go ahead and tell me that you don’t want to be seen with me. I’m pretty sure I understand where you’re coming from with this.” His voice is snarky, with a heavy dose of disgust added in.

My shoulders sag and I close my eyes for a moment, trying to collect my thoughts. To tell him the truth could cause me nothing but trouble and I’m not sure if I want to risk it.

Telling him the truth could also make everything better between us too. I don’t know what to do. It almost feels like it’s too late. I already screwed everything up.

“You should probably go back to your room,” he murmurs, his voice cold as ice.

“You misunderstood me, Rhett, I swear I—”

“Go to your room, Willow.” His voice is firm, his face like a mask. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

I stare at him, the truth on the tip of my tongue, but in the end, all I can do is swallow the words down, offer him a tiny smile before I turn on my heel and leave his room.

The slam of his bedroom door makes me jump, and I scurry to Iris’s room, closing and locking the door. Tears are already falling down my face as I make my way to my bed, collapsing on top of it and burying my face in the pillow. I sob and sob, trying to be quiet, but it’s no use. I can’t contain my tears.

Just like I can’t contain my emotions.

Eventually I feel tentative fingers touch my back and I turn on my side to see Iris sitting on the edge of my bed. Her hair is mussed and her eyes glow with concern. She doesn’t say a word but seeing her there, knowing she wants to comfort me, makes me cry even harder.

She pulls me into her arms and holds me close while I sob into her shoulder, soaking her T-shirt with my tears. She still doesn’t say anything and I remain quiet as well, getting it all out of my system.

I appreciate her silent comfort more than she’ll ever know.