Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

AXEL

I stood in my kitchen with Teddy, thinking the ripped-up floor felt like the inside of my brain right now. I was thrown. I hadn't expected to see family at my cabin or to have my time with Luna interrupted. “I need time, and I'm sorry that hurt the rest of you.”

Teddy's expression was solemn. “I haven't told anyone else yet.”

“I appreciate that. You might not believe this, but I didn't like lying to everyone.” My stomach twisted painfully.

His jaw tightened. “I'll tell them you're home and will visit this week.”

“Yeah, okay.” I wasn't sure I'd ever be ready to see my family. But I might as well get it over with.

Teddy nodded toward Luna's cabin. “Who's the girl?”

“She's here on vacation.” It hurt to brush my relationship off with her as casual, but I didn't want my family interfering either.

“If she means something to you, then you should invite her too.”

My throat tightened. “She's going home soon.”

“Yeah, okay.” Teddy pulled me into a hug. “It's good to have you back.”

I couldn't say it was good to be back because I'd managed to screw everything up. But I should have known we couldn't live in this bubble forever. That someone would find out about my cabin. My safe haven.

The real world was here whether I was ready for it or not.

Teddy walked around the small space. “What are you doing with this place?”

“Fixing it up. Luna's helping me with it.” I didn't even know her last name. Had she said, and I'd just forgotten it? I don't think we'd ever discussed those details. I hadn't wanted her to ask for mine.

Teddy raised a brow. “What part is she helping with?”

“She ordered everything, and we're working on the renovation together.” I took him on a tour, detailing what we'd already done, and what was left to do.

When we were finished walking around, Teddy said, “I can help you if you want. You'll get it done more quickly.”

Is that what I wanted? I enjoyed doing it with Luna, but she'd be leaving soon. It would be easier to have my brothers help with installation. There was a lot of heavy lifting involved with the appliances and cabinets. “I'm sure you're busy with your place and the farm.”

“Actually, my place flooded recently, and I've been living in Jameson's old apartment above the garage. Dad let the woman working for the farm, Charlotte, move into Daphne's cottage.”

“If you want to help, I'm not going to say no.” I'd have to figure out a way to tell Luna so she wasn't hurt. Why was everything so complicated? This is why I'd avoided my family. They wanted to be involved in everything, and there was no reason to say no.

“I'd appreciate it. Charlotte's everywhere I go lately, and she's so positive, you know? It drives me crazy.”

There was something about the way he talked about her. Like he admired her as much as she irritated him. “I don't want to take you away from the farm.”

His lips curled. “It will be the perfect excuse.”

“I'm glad I could help.”

Teddy nodded. “I'm feeling pretty good about this.”

“Avoiding your issues doesn't get you anywhere. Ask me how I know,” I said.

“This situation with Charlotte is nothing like you not telling us you were home.” Teddy walked toward the front door. “I'll tell Dad you're home, and you can do the rest.”

“I appreciate you not telling the others I've been home for a while.”

“There's no point in hurting everyone else.” Teddy turned to face me at the door.

I cleared my throat, uncomfortable talking about feelings with my brother. “I'm sorry I hurt you.”

Teddy shrugged. “I can take it. But I'd be more careful getting involved with the neighbors. You might be getting more visitors.”

That's what I wanted to avoid. I followed Teddy outside and saw him off. Then I knocked on Luna's door. What must she be thinking?

Luna opened the door with a wary look in her eyes, and a glass of champagne in her hand. Her cheeks were flushed, and I wondered if she'd been drinking since I left. My shoulders felt tight. “I'm sorry about my brother showing up.”

She raised a brow as I stepped inside. “How did that happen again?”

I half expected her to block my entrance, but she didn't. I didn't feel like I was in the clear though. I shut her out when I took my brother into my cabin. But then again, she needed time to get dressed.

She closed the door behind me, then led the way to the living room. “How did he find out where you lived?”

“He talked to my commanding officer. My new address was on the discharge paperwork.”

Luna winced as she sat on her couch, sipping her wine. “That sucks.”

“I wasn't ready to talk to him tonight, especially not right after—” I waved a hand in her direction.

“Can you imagine if he'd driven up just a few minutes earlier?” Luna chuckled but looked away, and I got the impression she didn't find any of this funny.

I sat on the couch, purposely leaving space between us. “He didn't, but I don't think we can have naked hot tub sex anymore. My brothers could show up at any time. And then there's my sisters.”

Her lips curved into a tentative smile. “Are you ready for it?”

I sighed. “As ready as I'll ever be. Teddy promised not to tell them I lied to them.”

Luna nodded, drinking the rest of her wine. “That's good. I guess.”

“A part of me wants to come clean, but it would just hurt them unnecessarily.”

Luna's forehead creased. “Yeah, maybe.”

My stomach tightened when I added, “Teddy offered to help with the bathroom and the kitchen installation.”

“Oh,” Luna said flatly.

“It'll be easier with the extra manpower,” I said, wondering why I was so worried about telling her.

“Right,” Luna said. “Do you still want me to help install the wood wall in the bedroom?”

“Of course.”

Luna nodded. “I'll get started on it tomorrow. The pieces were delivered.”

“I'll work on tiling.” This didn't feel the same. We weren't working together as a team. Instead, we'd each have our own projects. I didn't like it. But I couldn't figure out how to get us back on track. If that was even possible at this point.

Luna smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. “I'll stay out of your way. I know how important it is for you to bond with your brother again.”

“You can still help. I know you wanted to learn how to do it.”

Luna nodded, her fingers gripping the wine glass. “Yeah, that would be good.”

There was something between us, a distance that wasn't there before. “Is everything okay?”

Luna winced. “I was just surprised to see your brother. I wasn't prepared for that.”

I chuckled. “And we were naked.”

If they found out, my family would rib me about it. But I could see how Luna would be more upset. She didn't want to meet my family naked. But we weren't long-term. So it wasn't the same as if I was bringing her home to meet my family.

Teddy's suggestion that I bring her to the farm was in the back of my head, but when I tried to say the words out loud, I couldn't. That wasn't the kind of relationship we had. I wanted to keep the family and farm separate from her and the cabin.

Luna stood and walked toward the door. “I should get to bed. I have to do some work for my dad tomorrow, then the wall.”

I stood to follow her, my heart in my throat. “You don't have to work on my cabin if you're busy with other things.”

“I want to finish what I started. It's important to me.” Luna opened the door.

I softened. “Of course.”

Then I was maneuvered out the door and onto the porch before I realized what was happening.

“Have a good night, Axel.” Luna shut the door.

What just happened? We hadn't spent an evening apart since that first night. Maybe this was her way of creating distance to protect herself.

I could respect her decision to do that. I'd had a lot of the same thoughts.

The cabin felt emptier without her in it. If I wanted to use a bathroom tonight, I'd need to get the toilet installed. Good thing it was delivered. At least I could use the sink in the kitchen. The next step would be the shower. I wasn't sure if I could use Luna's anymore.

I grabbed the toilet from the box in the garage and carried it inside. I got to work installing it, which was easier than removal. When I was done, I wiped the sweat from my brow. I kind of wanted to take a shower. But we had a lot of tile to do first.

I texted Teddy and asked if he could start tomorrow. When he said yes, I changed for bed and picked up one of my books I hadn't read since I saw Luna naked in her hot tub that first night.

The lights at her place were off. I shouldn't be feeling the loss, but I was. We weren't states apart, but we might as well be.

Did it make sense to make things right before she left? I didn't want to end things on bad terms. It hurt not to see her for one night. How would it feel when she was gone?

I rubbed the ache in my chest. Luna was just shocked that my family infiltrated our bubble. She'd come around. She had to.

I couldn't imagine her living here and us not being close. If she wanted to break things off sooner, then I'd have to respect her decision. Even though it would suck.

I read until my eyes hurt, but I couldn't fall asleep. I'd gotten used to having Luna in bed with me. I hadn't had trouble falling asleep with her next to me. I tossed and turned, knowing I had to get used to not having her. She wasn't mine and never would be.

T he next day, I got up early, went for a run, then washed up in the kitchen sink. I needed to get this bathroom done. I called Teddy and told him to come over any time. Then I piled the boxes of tile Luna had chosen for the bathroom outside the room.

She picked larger gray slate tiles for the walls. I thought it looked both modern and masculine. The bathroom colors would be grey and white with navy blue accents. The accents apparently being the towels.

I'd allowed Luna to buy me new towels and sheets for the bedroom. I figured I'd replace everything while she was in charge. I loved everything she'd chosen. I wouldn't know what to get if it wasn't for her. I'd still be stuck on what size of tile to choose.

Luna had made the process so easy, and I was grateful to her. I'd have to insist that she be part of the renovation even if Teddy was helping. I wanted her to get what she wanted out of the project.

Shortly after, Teddy arrived with a greasy breakfast sandwich which I appreciated. We ate standing up in the kitchen, then got to work on the tile. He'd brought the tile cutter and showed me how to use it.

I texted Luna, asking if she wanted to come over.

Luna arrived a couple of hours later. She didn't bother to knock, just came through the house and leaned a shoulder against the doorframe.

“Sorry, I had to catch up on work for my other job.”

“Come here. I'll show you how to use the tile cutter.”

Her eyes lit up. “Really?”

“You're going to have to do this yourself when you move back.”

Her smile faded. “Right.”

“I'm going to see if there's any more food. I'm starving.” Teddy waved a hand in the direction of the kitchen and disappeared.

I was grateful Teddy was giving us space because there wasn't much in the bathroom.

I told Luna how we had to cut the tile to go around the shower, the toilet, and the vanity, and how we mapped out the area.

She cut a few tiles. Then I showed her how we placed them on the wall. We'd do the shower first, then the floor.

At some point, Teddy joined us. He cut while we attached them to the wall. When it was dark out, Teddy offered to pick up pizza, and we continued working.

“How are things going with your brother?” Luna asked.

“Good.” We hadn't discussed anything really. Teddy wasn't any better with talking about his feelings than I was. He kept it all inside because he had to be strong for everyone after Mom died. I'd tell him he didn't need to do that anymore, but I was lost in my own head. I had enough stuff to deal with.

When Teddy returned, he placed the boxes in the kitchen and met us in the bathroom where we'd started playing music. We sang the lyrics when we knew them, and occasionally Luna broke out into a dance. It wouldn't be the same without her here.

At some point, Teddy checked his phone. “Charlotte wants to know where I've been all day.”

I sat back on my heels. “Were you supposed to be working on the farm?”

“I can take time off,” Teddy said gruffly.

I shot him a look. “Not if you're supposed to be doing stuff with Charlotte.”

“I don't need you giving me shit too.” Teddy glanced over at Luna. “Sorry.”

“I have six brothers. I'm used to bad language.” Luna wiped the dust off her leggings. “I'm going to check out the squares for the bedroom wall.”

I tipped my head toward the master. “I put the boxes in the bedroom.”

“Thanks.” Luna smiled as she stepped around the stuff on the floor to get out.

Teddy frowned. “Dad wants me to do whatever Charlotte says.”

“And what's that?” I asked, trying not to let the amusement tinge my tone.

“She had me playing Santa at the holiday festival for pictures.”

I raised a brow. “I would love to see those pictures.”

Teddy growled. “She was dressed as an elf.”

“Did she make a hot elf?” I asked.

“I think I have a picture someone sent me to torture me with.” Teddy scrolled through his photos. “Here it is.”

He tilted his screen so I could see the picture of him as Santa in a red velvet chair.

“Is this Charlotte?” I pointed at the elf who sat in his lap, an arm around his neck and a big smile on her face.

“She's ridiculous.”

“She makes a hot elf.” I couldn't really see what she looked like under that getup; I just wanted to see if Teddy cared.

He grabbed his phone from me. “I knew you wouldn't be any help.”

“What's the issue with her?”

Teddy huffed out a breath. “I don't have time to do this marketing stuff.”

“But if it helps the farm's bottom line, shouldn't we do it? I thought the family decided it would be best to keep the farm going.” Dad talked about the farm, and I'd listened halfheartedly. It wasn't something that affected me. I just didn't want Dad to be stressed.

His lips pursed. “I don't know if it will be a good move.”

I tipped my head to the side, trying to remember the conversations we'd had on the topic. “I thought Dad said the festival was a success.”

Teddy was thoughtful. “I guess the turnout was good and the money too.”

I frowned. “Then what's the problem?”

Teddy let out an exasperated sigh. “She's everywhere now that I'm staying on the farm. She's so cheerful and positive. She's always touching me too.”

“She's too happy?” I asked him slowly, trying to get a feel for the problem.

He gave me a look. “I've always made the decisions on the farm, and now Dad brought in this outsider, and she's irritating as fuck.”

My eyes widened. “After Mom died, you helped out with the family and the farm. But Dad's okay now. Maybe it's time for you to ease back. You have a job and a house.”

I'd pulled back when I enlisted, so that was easy advice for me to offer. The farm held good memories when I was a child, but I didn't have any involvement with it now.

Teddy's frown deepened. “I've always helped on the farm.”

“You don't have to anymore.”

He shook his head. “I'm not ready to let go.”

“It's hard to make big changes. That's what I did when I resigned from the military.” And I was still dealing with the fallout.

Teddy handed me a beer from the small cooler we'd kept nearby. “Why did you? We all thought you'd stay until retirement.”

“I wasn't making real connections with anyone. I was too afraid to lose someone. I was sick of living like that.”

“That's understandable, given our mother dying young and your job.”

“I wanted more.” I ran a hand through my hair. “I just don't know what that is.”

“Is it Luna?” Teddy threw a thumb over his shoulder and lowered his voice.

My chest tightened. “She's going home soon. There can't be anything there.”

“That's too bad. I haven't seen you with a woman like that in forever. You were never the kid we worried about finding in the barn with a girl.”

“I was too smart to get caught,” I teased, but the reality was I was always wary of relationships. I knew what happened when you loved and lost. It sucked, and the pain stuck with you for a lifetime. No woman was worth that risk.

“Luna was a good time. But she doesn't want more than that.”

“If you say so,” Teddy said as he moved to clean up our mess for the night.

My fingers were nicked here and there from when I forgot to put on gloves, and I reveled in the pain. I preferred physical pain over thinking about what would happen when Luna went back to Florida.