Chapter 20

Ranger is by far the most infuriating man I've ever met. We had very sweet, kinda lazy, middle-of-the-night sex, and then he ignored me all damn day.

Now he wants to talk absolute insanity about marriage certificates…but only with Tanner. The man can't communicate with me personally, unless it involves grunting orders like, Close the door. Don't worry, we'll cuddle tonight.

Like he can distract me with snuggles.

My chest gets warm and fuzzy at the thought of feeling his muscular body wrapped tightly around mine.

This is a problem.

The woods are a straight shot past Ranger's back porch.

Vale told me that her house is basically a fifteen-minute walk in this direction, since her property backs up to Ranger's.

That off-handed comment wasn't necessarily an invitation, but if I don't get the hell out of here, I think I might lose my mind.

It's not just the maddening alpha. Although, I'm not sure how I feel about the fact he basically insinuated I took his virginity.

He's almost thirty.

Do nearly thirty-year-old virgins really exist?

I mean, I'm sure they do, but holy shit, that's a lot of pressure.

My stomach feels weird when I think about it.

I wish I'd known.

If you're going to hold out that long, then you deserve really good sex for your first try. I mean, I really enjoyed it, but I was also hazy and kind of demanding.

I should have put more focus on spoiling him.

I'm still baffled by how he chose me.

Was he influenced by his pheromones?

He would have to be, right?

That makes me a little concerned that biology took over and pushed him into something he wasn't ready for.

Also, I get that Kate has her own pack…

But her scent is everywhere.

It's driving my senses absolutely insane.

Earlier today, I actually had the irrational urge to burn Ranger's house down, so I wouldn't have to constantly smell her scent mixed with his.

Luckily, it was a fleeting moment, and rational thought caught up pretty quickly, but I think the stress is turning me into an actual crazy person.

My instincts want all traces of her gone from Ranger's house, so I can nest in a safe environment that isn't tainted by another omega.

Nova and Haze circle my feet, trying to force me to weave back toward the house or get barreled into by their massive forms. They're certainly herders at heart, but I keep a tree directly in my line of sight and stomp toward it.

Rain slaps against my face as I stride along, and the farther I get from the house, the less the exterior lights seem to penetrate the darkness.

I didn't understand how scary it would be to walk fifteen minutes in a dark and unfamiliar wooded area.

I'm used to Chicago.

We have paved sidewalks and streetlights.

Nova whines, bumping my hand with her head as Haze takes off back toward the house. They're easy to tell apart because Haze has a narrower face, and Nova has a bulkier frame. She's also an inch or two taller.

"You can go. I won't blame you," I tell her, nodding back the way we came. "Honestly, I'm kind of reassessing my life choices at the moment. I'm not usually so irrational, but I feel a little like I'm losing it."

Nova huffs, and her paws dig into the grass as she pivots, barreling back toward salvation.

The wind whips my hair around, and the dress I'm wearing sticks to my skin with rain. It's not even my dress, and it bothers me for no good reason.

Vale is very sweet. She brought me a ton of clothes that I would have picked for myself if I had the chance. She also had nothing but good things to say about Ranger, which might be why he pushed so hard for her to come over, despite the crappy weather.

It did also put me at ease, listening to her explain that Ranger and Kate barely tolerate each other.

At this point, I feel ridiculous about how hard I just overreacted. And, at the same time, I really miss my bed and my clothes.

It's such a bizarre feeling.

Ranger has a way of putting me at ease, but I don't want to be just a job for him. He clearly opens his home to anyone in need.

Seriously, if he didn't, Kate's scent wouldn't be everywhere, driving my senses into territorial omega mode.

The whole marriage certificate thing reminds me of what Kate said about Ranger marrying her off to her pack without a heads-up.

But he's not trying to marry you off to someone else. He plans to keep you for himself.

My instincts like the idea of that way too much, and they're guiding my actions way stronger now without suppressants being in the mix to temper my reactions.

It is kinda sweet, though, right?

He was upset he couldn't get to town to buy a ring…

Which is the opposite of what I'm used to.

Dating sucks nowadays.

Guys play games and cheat.

They don't call back or answer texts.

They leave you on read for days on end.

He said we would talk more about the future tonight when we cuddle in bed, and it's strangely sweet.

Oh, fuck.

Are my impulses trying to give me Stockholm syndrome? And if so, couldn't they have made that point before I went traipsing out in the rain?

My head falls back as I look up at the tree branches and, eventually, the night sky.

Cool rain drips all over my face as I curse.

I'm losing it.

No.

I'm having a panic attack.

There's pressure in my chest, and based on my racing thoughts that don't make much sense…

I'm acting irrationally, and everything is affecting me more deeply than it should. If I was back home, I'd take my anxiety medication and try to nest until it kicked in.

Only, I don't have that, either, because I literally had to leave everything in my life behind.

"Damn, woman." Tanner's voice makes me jump as he grabs my wrist, spinning me to face him. "You're hauling ass. You must be mighty pissed."

Water drips from the blondish-brown hair falling over his forehead, and a drop lands on my nose as I stare up at him in the low light.

"I think I'm losing it, Tanner," I whisper as his thumb runs over my inner wrist.

"What?" He studies my face. "Nah, you've been through hell. I'm honestly surprised it took you a full twenty-four hours to try to make a break for it."

"I ran out of Ranger's house into the rain in the middle of the night. It feels like there's a boulder on my chest that I can't escape, and it only gets worse the farther I run."

He keeps hold of my wrist and brings his other hand to cup my cheek. "You were ripped away from your home and your normal life, spent the better part of a week as a prisoner to some pretty terrible people who were a genuine threat to your safety, and now you're adjusting to a completely different atmosphere." He runs his thumb under the scratch on my cheek. "Give yourself a little grace."

"Everything feels out of control." My head shakes and water flings from the dripping ends of my hair. "Back home, I have a job and my own apartment. I take care of myself, you know? And everything I've built is just…" My shoulders bounce as I search for the right word. "Gone. And I am thankful that you guys rescued me, but I'm still so bitter it was necessary in the first place. I feel like a complete mess."

He moves a hand to my lower back, pulling me into his chest. "You're allowed to freak out and be pissed at how everything went down. Hell, if you want to scream and rage at the night sky, I'll do it with you." His hand moves from my cheek to the back of my head. "No matter how brave you are, that shit has to manifest at some point."

Rain streams down my face as I stare up into his blue eyes. It's so dark that they almost seem black in the low light.

"I don't like feeling out of control," I admit. "My sister has always been carefree. She does her own thing, and she never minded if it led her to trouble. But I like my life boring and predictable. It helps me feel safe. The world is already dangerous enough for unbonded omegas…" A heavy breath shudders out, making my shoulders shake. "My anxiety is out of control."

"Yeah," he agrees. "I can tell. I think some of it is a delayed response to what happened. How about I carry you inside and we take a hot bath?"

I bite my lip, trying to hold back from sounding awful, but it all spews out, anyway. "I hate that his house smells like Kate. My instincts have been on edge all day. It's like I can't settle in and truly relax because it feels like she's a threat. I've never experienced anything like it, and rationally, I understand that it doesn't make sense, but I don't know how to make it stop."

"Actually, it does make sense." Tanner wraps his forearm around my ass and lifts me into his chest. "We may like to think we're civilized, but alphas and omegas are ruled by our instincts. You've got a heat coming up, and you and Ranger are highly compatible. He invited you into a home that smelled like another unbonded omega. That would be enough to set off any omega."

I nod, snuggling closer to his wet T-shirt. When he says it that way, it helps me feel less like a terrible person, which is something I've been battling since I got here.

"I don't think he did it purposely, though."

"Nah, he definitely didn't." Tanner walks us back toward the house. "But since he didn't think that shit through, he'll just have to understand that I'm invading his bedroom tonight. Kate's scent isn't in there or the nest, right?"

My head shakes as my fingers dig into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you had to chase me out in the pouring rain." I stretch up, nuzzling my cheek to his.

"No need for apologies." He chuckles. "Although, I did have this sexy little fantasy playing out of fucking you against a tree in the rain." He palms the back of my head. "That can wait. I'd rather take care of you now."

My lips roll together as my heart races.

Tanner is a genuinely good guy. He puts me at ease in a way that's hard to explain.

"You know, this would be the perfect place to act out a chase. Let you run and see how far you can get before I catch you and have my way with you in the dirt." He hits the porch steps, and I jostle in his hold as he heads up them. "Only if you were open to it, but yeah, it could be fun."

I've never considered something like that, but with Tanner hunting me, I think I'd enjoy myself.

Tanner carries me up the porch and in through the still-open door. I'm a little grateful Maverick and Gunner are no longer around as Tanner pulls the door closed and locks it. They looked at me like I was losing it when I ran past them earlier. And I did headbutt Maverick when he pulled me out of that trunk.

I'm not shocked they don't think much of me.

Tanner toes off his boots just inside the door, and looking at my bare feet, I realize I'm covered in dirt and muck.

Tanner's eyes follow my gaze, and he chuckles. "Yeah, we might need to do a quick rinse in the shower before lounging in the bath."

There's something about the lighthearted way he rolls with the punches that soothes my system on a foundational level.