Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

JOE

I woke up on Christmas morning and found Rose’s side of the bed empty. A sliver of panic shot through me before my common sense slid in and told me she’d likely gotten up with one of the kids.

The time on my phone read 6:12, so I got up and checked Hope’s room across the hall. Her bed was empty, and Rose wasn’t sitting in her rocking chair. I headed down the hall, poking my head in Mikey and Ashley’s rooms. Both kids were asleep, and Mikey was still holding onto the stuffed reindeer Bruce Wayne had brought him the night before at our Christmas Eve dinner.

I went downstairs, purposely missing the creaky step, and found Rose sitting in an armchair with Hope in her lap. Our daughter was nestled in the crook of her arm, staring at the blinking white lights on the Christmas tree. Rose smiled at me as my feet touched the floor. When I saw her face light up in my direction, a wave of pure joy shot through my blood. I still couldn’t believe she was mine. That I had three kids I was absolutely crazy about, and I was happy, so blissfully happy.

So happy but there was an undercurrent of dread always below the surface, as though I was just waiting to lose it all.

Whenever I confessed it to Rose, she’d always kiss me and tell me that was nonsense talking. That she and the kids weren’t going anywhere, not unless I was going too.

“What are you doin’ up?” she whispered.

I closed the distance between us and sat on the ottoman in front of her, carefully sliding her feet to the side. “I woke up and you weren’t there, so I came to find you.”

“You should have gotten more sleep before the kids wake up,” she said in a hushed tone.

I shook my head, smiling at her. “I wanted to be with you and Hope. I don’t want to miss a single moment of our first Christmas together.”

She started to protest and then a frown formed. “I guess you’re right. This is our first Christmas together .”

I reached over and squeezed her hand as I picked it up. “The first of many.”

Her eyes filled with love. “Many, many.”

Hope’s gaze shifted from the tree to me and a huge smile spread across her face. She said, “Dada” and reached her pudgy hands toward me.

Rose’s eyes flew wide. “She just called you dada!”

She’d been babbling the sound, but this was the first time she’d used it in relation to me.

My heart burst as I scooped her into my arms. “I’m not sure this day could be any more perfect,” I said past the lump in my throat.

“You haven’t even opened your gifts yet,” Rose teased with glassy eyes. “I know for a fact Mikey got you something you’re gonna love.” She got up and picked up her coffee cup from the side table. “I’m gonna get more coffee. Want me to bring you some?”

“Yeah,” I said absently as I stood and took Hope over to the tree and pointed out ornaments to her. She tried to reach for several, but I kept them safely out of reach.

When Rose came back with two cups of coffee, I sat on the sofa and Rose sat next to me, and I wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“How long do you think we have before the kids get up?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Rose said, “but I suspect not long. While I’m enjoying the quiet before the storm, I’m eager for them to see what Santa brought them and to open their gifts from us.”

I leaned my head against hers for a moment, then kissed the top of her head as I took in the pile of presents under the tree, along with the two bicycles from Santa. There was a doll house for Ashley I’d spent several late nights in the barn building, and a huge LEGO set for Mikey. Hope had a push toy to help her stand and walk.

“Thanks for being part of this,” Rose said softly.

I turned to her in surprise. “What are you talkin’ about?”

She shrugged, keeping her gaze on the tree. “It’s just that a lot of men wouldn’t be so willing to just take on fatherhood for two more kids. You never acted like it was a question.”

“That’s because it never was,” I insisted forcefully. “I love those kids, even before they lived with us. As far as I’m concerned, they may not have my last name and they may have a father, but they’re still mine and God help the person who claims otherwise.”

She reached up and kissed my cheek, and I knew she knew I was thinking about my conversation with my mother. “They love you too.”

“I want to do Violet proud,” I said, the lump back in my throat. “She had her moments. but there was never any doubt she was a good mother.”

“Agreed.”

There was a clamor upstairs, the sound of little feet, and then Mikey shouted, “Get up, Ashley! It’s Christmas!”

Ashley shrieked with excitement right before I heard her feet clomp across the floor.

“Ready for the chaos to start?” Rose asked with twinkling eyes.

I pressed a kiss to her lips and pulled back, basking in the love in her eyes. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”