Chapter 4

Cole

I blinked my eyes open after waking from a nightmare. I hadn’t even remembered nodding off. Once again, writer’s block had bitten me in the ass, and I’d fallen asleep with my computer on my lap in the middle of the damn afternoon. That wasn’t a surprise, considering I’d been up almost the entire night before.

It had been a few days since power was restored, but my life felt no brighter. I’d chickened out about going over to Josie’s the other night because my feelings for her scare me. When the power came back, I suddenly had an out, so I took it.

And now, here I was with drool on my face after waking up from a dream where the words on my screen turned into snakes that crawled out of the computer to strangle me. All this while the Happy Days theme song played in the background. If that wasn’t fucked up, I didn’t know what was.

I looked at the clock. It was 7PM.

Outside, Josie’s spectacular lights display was in full swing. It was just a few days before Christmas now, and people were gathered across the street, taking it all in.

Josie held some kind of tray. It looked like she was passing out hot apple cider or eggnog. Maybe cocoa. My stomach felt tight. I longed to be over there. Not necessarily with all of those people—but with her. Only with her. I just hadn’t been willing to explore the possibility that she was different from my lying, cheating ex. And why? She’d given me no reason to believe she was anything like Jessica. But fear was a bitch. A bigger bitch than Jessica. And I’d let fear rule my decisions. That went against everything I’d ever preached about when it came to positive thinking. But in order to get past nagging fears, you have to accept uncertainty. That’s the basis for most tactics to reduce worry; yet I’d been unable to do it.

The crowd of people began to line up in front of Josie’s house. I soon realized they were singing. It was a choir of some kind. And it wasn’t just any song they were belting out. Cold air billowed into my house as I opened the window to better hear the sound of freaking “All I Want For Christmas is You.”

Is she kidding me?

Nice, Josie. Nice.

I burst into laughter.

It was no coincidence. That had to have been meant for me. Maybe it wasn’t. Either way, it was funny.

After a couple of minutes, I shut the window and attempted to get work done with the muffled sounds of Christmas chaos outside.

At least the lame lights I’d put up out front were better than the total darkness I’d originally planned. Now instead of Scrooge, I was just the lonely writer across the street, afraid to go all the way at anything in life, a fear accurately reflected through my measly, half-assed holiday display.

After several minutes of being unable to focus, I shut my laptop, deciding to go downstairs and make myself something to eat.

Before I opened the fridge, I grabbed the stack of mail sitting on the counter and began to sift through it. Among the bills were a couple of Christmas cards. I opened the first one to find it was from my brother—a shot of my two-year-old nephew, Benjamin, dressed as an elf. It made my cold heart happy for a couple of seconds before I tossed it aside to open the next envelope.

Inside was a small card and a photo of someone I didn’t recognize: a boy in a wheelchair. Next to him was a beautiful brunette I did recognize: Josie. I realized this card wasn’t meant for me. It had been mistakenly delivered here.

But I’d already opened it, and I remembered the story she’d told me about her former student, William—her inspiration for the Christmas display. So I read the message inside.

Dear Josie,

We know this Christmas will be the best one yet. But we say that every year when it comes to your extravaganza of lights. We thought you’d enjoy this old photo we found of you and our guy. Can you believe William would have been graduating high school this year? Thank you for helping his memory to live on. We will see you soon.

Love,

The Testinos

I stared at the photo of the smiling boy, who seemed so filled with joy and hope. He hadn’t had it easy. He’d had to accept a lot of uncertainty every day of his life. But he’d still managed to find happiness. He wasn’t supposed to die on that operating table. I shook my head, feeling myself tear up. I didn’t even know the kid. I couldn’t imagine how Josie felt. Life is so damn fleeting. And here I was, obsessing over my past—a past that held no significance over my present. I was here in this lonely house when I really wanted to be across the street. Not because of the lights, but because of the single ray of light responsible for it all.

I spoke to the photo in my hand. “William, thank you for the reminder that I’ve been a complete and utter idiot. Pretty sure this card was meant for me after all.”

The following day, I went shopping.

“Excuse me, are there any other decorations in the back?”

The sales clerk shook her head. “Just what you see here. We put the Christmas stuff out before Halloween these days, so we’re pretty much sold out by the first week in December.”

This was the third store I’d gone to. The only crap left was…well, crap. Nothing more than a bunch of lights and some of those dumb blow-ups—and even those were picked over. My choices were a six-foot-tall inflatable menorah, a polar bear hugging an ornament, or palm trees.

I sighed. “Thanks.”

After an hour and a half of going store to store, I started to think my brilliant idea might be over before it even began. But on my way out, I walked by the toy department. As I passed, I noticed a life-size figure down one of the aisles. Backing up a few steps, I lifted my chin to the kid stocking the shelf next to the display.

“You got any more of those?”

“Chewbacca?” His brow wrinkled. “They’re right here.”

“No, I meant any other big characters like that?”

“Oh, yeah. Next aisle over. I think there’s, like, eight different ones or something. It’s part of an anniversary of one of the movies.”

“Can they go outside?”

The kid looked at the giant action figure next to him and shrugged. “I guess so. They don’t have electronics or anything. That’s probably why they didn’t sell. They just kind of sit there.”

The wheels in my head started to turn. “Is there a Yoda?”

“Yeah, but he’s not as big.”

Well, of course not. Chewbacca isn’t the same size as Yoda. “Do you think he’d fit in a bassinet?”

“Who?”

“Yoda.”

“Oh. What’s a bassinet?”

Seriously? “It’s like a small crib. Sort of like the manger they put baby Jesus in.”

The kid shrugged. “Check aisle nine.”

A half hour later, I had three carts at the checkout line. The silver-haired woman ringing me up smiled. “Your kids are Star Wars fans, huh?”

“Uhh…yeah.”

“I bet these put a big smile on someone’s face.”

I held out my credit card and grinned. “That’s what I’m hoping for.”

After I finished at Target, I stopped at the local farm supply store a few miles away.

“Can I help you with something?” the guy behind the register said.

“Yeah, I need some hay.”

“We keep the hay around back. There’s a fenced area with a green awning. You pay here and pull your car around the rear of the building. Give your receipt to the kid at the gate. How many bales do you need?”

“I think one should do it.”

The guy nodded and punched some keys on his register. “Anything else I can get you today?”

“No, I think I’m good.” I glanced around the store and saw one of those plastic owls that people use to scare away birds. “Actually…” I nodded toward the owl. “Would you happen to have any other plastic animals?”

“I think we have a doe and fawn set somewhere around here. People put ’em out more as a decoration than a deterrent though.”

“Can I see them?”

He walked out from behind the counter and pointed toward the back of the store. “Follow me.”

As I trailed behind the guy, I started to get a vision of what my creation was going to look like on the front lawn. Either this was going to be funny as hell, or Josie was going to think I was nuts.

“Here we go.” The clerk pointed to two brown plastic deer with white Bambi spots. One was lying down and the other standing. “Is this the type of thing you’re looking for?”

“This is exactly what I need. Any chance you also have one of those things a shepherd holds in his hand.”

The guy’s bushy eyebrows drew together, almost forming a straight line. “You mean a crook?”

“Yeah, I think that’s what it’s called.”

He shook his head. “Sorry. We don’t get a lot of sheep around here. But we’ve got a ketch-all.”

“What’s that?”

“It’s a pole used to catch animals, but the top has a big loop around it, instead of a hook like a shepherd’s crook.”

I shrugged. “Okay, I’ll take one of those instead. And maybe a pitchfork or two.”

The guy helped me gather the rest of my purchases. As he finished ringing me up, he said, “Whatcha trying to catch?”

I smiled. “A woman.”

The look on the guy’s face was absolutely priceless. Though it was probably best to get the hell out of there before he called the cops on me.

Back at home, I didn’t see Josie’s car in the driveway. So I went to work, setting up my display. The entire thing took me more than four hours to put together—I cut wood from the garage and assembled something resembling the arch of a stable and decorated it with white lights. Half-a-dozen Star Wars characters huddled around the hay-filled bassinet manger, where baby Yoda laid peacefully. I added a few blow-up palm trees with lights, and the pair of deer completed the nutty scene. It had started to get dark by the time I finished everything. Yet my neighbor still wasn’t home. I knew from the last few nights that her display went on promptly at seven—so it shouldn’t be long now before she pulled up.